I can't confirm the authenticity of this particular story, but the guy who told it to me swore up and down that it was true, and I believe him -- because the story is so messed up, and because Mike, the guy who told me, wasn't swift enough or creative enough to make up something like this on his own. He is a good, hardworking, and honest guy, and I don't think he would've lied about something like this.
Mike and I used to work together in Pennsylvania (a.ka. Shittsburgh, Shittselvania). Mike told me this whole story one day after I told him the true story of The Mad Shitter of Athens, Ohio. He turned to me and said, "That story is funny, but it doesn't compare to this true story," and then proceeded to tell me about a guy he went to school with. This guy grew up thinking he was some kind of "Big Stud," and he used to date women and fuck them around and cheat on them and all kinds of shit. One day his girlfriend at the time found out about him fucking around on her, so she devised a plan to get revenge on his scandalous ass.
As the story goes, one night she and this guy were fooling around and getting very kinky, and the girl asked if she could tie him up to the bed and fuck him. So the guy said, "Sure," and allowed her to tie him up. She tied him up so tight that he couldn't get loose, even if he wanted to. But instead of fucking him crazy, she started yelling at him and told him that he was a complete asshole and that she knew all about him fucking around on her and everything. Then, after she bitched him out for his shitty behavior, she decided to leave her final (skid) mark on him once and for all! That's right -- according to the story, she dropped her pants and squatted down on top of him and took a massive shit right on his chest!
The thing of it is though, according to the story, she didn't untie him after that! She left him right there, all tied to the bed and naked, with shit all over his chest. She then put her clothes on, stood up, walked out and just shut the door behind her. Then she got in her car and completely drove off, leaving him there, naked and screaming, completely tied up, stranded on his own bed with her shit on his chest!
This poor motherfucker supposedly was tied up like that, smelling his ex-lover's shit all over his chest, for two full days -- until his brother, wondering where he was, stopped by his place and discovered the whole raunchy scene. Can you imagine his brother's surprise at finding him nude and tied up to the bed with shit on his chest?
Well, supposedly the brother thought the whole story was funny as heck, and so he told everybody he knew about it. And, that's how Mike said that he heard the story -- Mike was a friend of the shit-on-the-chest guy's brother. I didn't know the people involved, but Mike told me it was all true. I remember asking Mike what the shit-on-the-chest guy said if someone ever asked him about the whole incident. Mike replied, "His face gets all red, and his eyes tear up, and his brother laughs at him."
-- Gene I.
