People would try to have the colour genetically altered. Designer farts. They would even find a way to pleasently sent them.
Producing waste since 1967

I would invent and market a fart color neutralizer and get rich. I would not use it myself though because I'm proud of mine.

I am stunned to realize that no one has brought up this idea, before.

Honestly, it WOULD change social dynamics radically! At first, there might be all sorts of products, both for internal and external use, that would try to combat the issue.

But eventually, I think we'd all just get used to different colored clouds wafting about.

I'm shocked as well, G3. Kind of like the urine-alert stuff for swimming pools (does that substance really exist or is it just an urban legend...anyone??).
I loved Simone's and CEP's ideas. Designer farts...too funny. Believe it or not, I think Ben Franklin wrote a lengthy piece about farts, and even mentioned the idea of tailoring the smell...I'm gonna do some research.

The urine-alert stuff is an urban legend.

Remember that you guys are just thinking about the odd fart that humans do each day. Unless you`ve been chowing down on beans and stuff, you`re only going to pop out a few wisps of colour.

Once you get near a cattle or sheep farm, you won`t even be able to drive past it being blinded by the red or blue or whatever coloured air.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever smelled that in a red."

Farting permeates our entire existence. It's the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. A perfect example is the elevator. Have you ever been on a crowded elevator when somebody erroneously thought that they could slip out an SBD? Now, nobody confronts anybody else because of the concept of plausible deniability. In a world where farts took on color, this would not be possible.

Our automotive culture would come to an end. Nobody would be able to drive an auto with the windows rolled up. The windows on any form of mass transhit would, within a matter of moments of being occupied by more than a few people, would either turn white or black from all of the different colors.

Everybody would probably switch to bicycles and motorcycles, which would be a vast economic and environmental improvement over our lust for SUV's.

Compact cars would probably be the first victims: too little space for too little breathable and visible air.

You would have to buy new furniture and clothes to match the color of your ass funk. The truly neurotic would also paint the interior of their houses the same color so that the cloud would be camoflauged. Oh, of course hosts and hostesses would tell their guests that the color is fashionable this year, but every would know the real reason.

Imagine that you work in a cubicle farm on the the 27th floor of some soul-less glass and steel tower. You stand up to stretch your legs and look out across the production pasture only to see a methane cloud emerging from that hot blonde in accounting's cubicle.

We would have another reason to hate each other. There would be discrimination based on the color of your ass emanations. The mass of people producing little green clouds would no longer trust their neighbors who produce purple.

Can you imagine going to the swimming pool and watching the little bubbles explode on the surface? I can hear the young children's giggles as these tiny mushroom clouds break the surface. I can also hear the lifeguard's whistle and their pimply voices screeching out "Sir, stop farting in the pool."

American jurisprudence would come to an end. Judges would lose all credibility after they floated the first air biscuit. Seriously. Can't you just see the whole nation laughing the first time the TV cameras caught Lance Ito squeezing out one? Consider what would have happened had OJ did an SBD as he tried to pull on that too small glove. Can't you just see Johnny Cochrane rolling on the floor the first time that a burgundy cloud floated up from the front and back of Marcia Clark's mini-skirt?

Lastly, A whole new industry would emerge: food additives whose sole purpose would be to try to either make your gas a specific color or promise you clear/invisible farts. Suddenly, Salsa Verde and Salsa Rojo takes on whole different meanings.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

DP - amusing though your vision may be, I suspect that the real outcome would be that most people would be more circumspect about where they fart - and no bad thing either!! I've written on this site before of the pleasure of walking into the mens' room, letting go an almighty blast, and walking out again (rather than just sneaking it out furtively elsewhere) - a practice that would definitely be encouraged!

Its possible the professor has too much time on his hands.

DD - is that not par for the job??

Let me tell you something. Plain and simple. If I have to fart I am going to fart. I dont care if it has ANY color at all. Its going to be loud and its going to stink! Thats just the way it is.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

This is precisely what happened to Jupiter...which is where Teddy is from, he told me so, even though I was wearing my foil hat, that got through. He was sent here to warn us of such a catastrophe, wherein our own planet, this big blue marble we call Earth, turns into a huge, roiling, storming gas giant in which no form of life could exist. I think it may be where Frank2401 and Hamster are from as well...

Thank you, Bilge, I'll take that as a compliment from you. To thnk I could be indestructible ....

It would be like when an actor smokes a cigarette in a theatrical production. A tiny curl of smoke rises from the actors mouth toward the lights, expanding and diffusing as it goes until it fills the whole volume of the theater and we in the audience seeing this realize that we're really just a single organism of many parts. All connected, all breathing the same air in and out of our lungs as one.

Eewwwwwww . . . Imagine the same thing happening with an ass blast on stage.

Public restrooms would be a nightmare! Zero visability, and a rainbow of colors. It would be like watching a beautiful sunset - "wow, look at the colors!"

Steaming Cable..Ah! my first LOL moment of the day..Thanks! At home would you be able to distinguish family members by the residual lights? "Whoa! I know you did some business..."

Good point..Especially in the chicks' toilet..Adding in hairspray and whatever else..And they're usually in charge of taking care of babies(could this become a new "one upping" area for Shameless parents?)..Day care centers would be,um, a blast to work at. Cellphone cameras would have something new to capture..Would the light be as powerful as the stench? Could make mace obsolete.
Okay TTFN.

LMAO...This would be so much fun especially in my house where Yelling "Who cut the Cheese" is a nightly event. My fiance' who loves to blame his farts on me, especially in the car, would probably lose his lively hood.

If every fart cloud had a gold or silver lining, we'd know if it was within tolerance, like a resistor.

that really spoke to me man ....lets no longer judge people by the color of their skin but by the shade of their fart
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i have met many people that talk like asses i have not however met many asses that talk like people

Deja Poo, I'm ROFLMAO, but also because methane rises. You deserve 3 points for your technicolor commentary.

You know you have a severe gas problem when you fart in the pool and it sinks...

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

That would be fantastic!! I'd love to turn the air in the car brown while I rip away all the way to work! You could pull up to a car next to you at the traffic light and know instantly what they've been up to!

Maybe the color could change with the intensity of the stench. Like code red farts or something like that!

That would also make identifying which of my lil' shitwits needs a new diaper a lot easier! #1 could be red, #2 could be blue!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

It would certainly make church more fun.

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No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

It would be time to start hanging out with blind people so the fun could still continue.

Dogs everywhere would stand up and scream, "See?! I TOLD you I didn't do it!"

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This makes me wonder what new innovations there could be in special effects at magic shows, concerts, and even the stages of Broadway! The performing arts would never be the same!

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Did you mean The Performing Farts?

that would help me out a lot i usually get blamed for a lot of farts
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i have met many people that talk like asses but i have not met many asses that talk like people

Once, on the Long Island Rail Road, I laid a SBD that was so bad, that if it had a color, it would have had to have been called "black death". This one didn't need a color though. The person in back of me started coughing and fanning it back to me.

I like the idea of them being colour coded. The RED would be defcon 10 and little poots would be PINK.
Producing waste since 1967

What if you saw a plaid fart in the middle of a room.
Would you think "Strange Diet"?
Would you think "Multiple people involved"?
Would you think "I didn't know the Duke of Rothesay was in town"?

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

If you don't know who the Duke of R. is, do a Google.
Unlike cafeteria food, an education will never turn to waste.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

so would the little clouds of gas seep through the fabric of the farters pants or does it take the path of less resistance and flow out through the leg openings and button flies or out from under the ladies skirts or does it flow up and exit through the collar of the dress or robe? we gotta figure out the physics here...

a machine gun fart would look so cool coming from someone in a hospital gown with the slit in the back... kinda like hittin the nitrus

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oh man, i feel soo much better. i think i lost a few pounds... dont even think about going in there for at least 20-30 minutes. dont worry, i left the fan on.

One time when I was cooking some homemade ham and bean soup, my young niece came over and was obviously offended by its odor. She said "if you could smell in color, this smell would definitely be gray". Later when the soup farts began shooting out of my ass like a deflating whoopie cushion I realized how insightful her comment truly was! So for future reference, ham and bean soup farts are gray!

States would require smog checks. We would all have ass exhaust systems to get the cloud up above eye level to prevent accidents. some of us would go on shows like 'Pimp my Poop' and have custom exhausts installed, like headers and side pipes.

Gre-e-e-e-eat... I'd be walking around looking like Optimus Prime... ;(

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

I came on this site as I think I have intestinal yeast due to taking long term antibiotics. My feces, urine and farts have this yeasty odor. Although I have serious concerns as I've been feeling very ill and fatigued,it's great to be able to laugh! LMAO!

id enjoy colored farts LMAO
like being able to capture them in a jar
oh look at that pink cloud! phew that smells wicked bad!

If you want to see what colored farts look like, here you go :
http://www.koreus.com/video/echapper-pet.html

This guy is trying to discover the best movements that allow you to escape after farting. So he colors his farts and tries just about everything (including back flips). You know how farts follow you ? Now you can see why !

that is awesome. thanks for the link!
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i love poop.

Mine are typically a greenish brown. Sometimes tinged a little yellow after I eat at the all you can eat Indian food place. I know becuase after producing a gallon of methane sulfide, my boxers retain a little of the color.

I take pride in the fact that I'v actually made little kids cry. Not just in elevators and airplanes, but in a crowded wal-mart. I just wait in an empty isle and let it rip, then quick run around the corner to the next isle as someone comes around the corner then listen for the reaction. The "mommy, what's that smell?" followed by whimpering and crying. Sounds of parents doing diaper checks etc.

Seriously. Give me a pot of neckbones and black-eyed peas and I'll peel the paint off the walls. My dog will leave the room when I unload.

Sometimes my digestive system moves so quickly the farts still smell like bile from being not completely digested.

Fart gas is floating everywhere so there would be 0 transparency (if farts were colored methane would be colored so gas giants would be green if farts were green!

not only would the clouds be cool, but it would be neat to invent a way that it solidifies, like a tree- wait! a growing series of trees!!

You'd be able to tell what your friends had for dinner

And it would be the 90's all over again as people reverted to black denim pants as a primary wardrobe choice.

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"Piece out!"

The guys at the firehouse used to take peverse pleasure in lighting their farts.

Upon feeling the urge, they would lie on their backs like a turtle, knees up to their chests.

A crewmate would be summoned over where he would hold a lighter and wait. I guess there is methane or sulphur in a fart and as it passes through the flame, the reaction causes a little explosion. It resembles a mini-flame thrower depending on the severity of the fart.

I would not have believed this phenomonen if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.

I'd fart rainbows.
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Don't worry, I do it, too!

Most importantly, you could avoid smelling farts because you could see them coming and run. This would complicate things for nefarious farters as they would have to sneak up on their prey. Of course, the dutch oven would still be a safe bet!

Better still-mood lighting during sex! Embarassing farts could now enhance the experience with a sultry red cloud. Just add Barry White.

In Denver, Colorado during the Bronco season, the farts would be Blue and Orange. The rest of the winter in Denver, the color of farts would match the air and you would have a Brown Cloud.

My pew hue would be puce.

If farts were colored, humans could then understand what the damm dog is barking at !