poopreport : Fun With Feces :

oxypowder

Everyone's Lovin' It

Posted 10.31.2006 by drivnNdrinkn (84)
I was doing one of my road trips with my buddies. We all got together after work, ate at the Spaghetti Factory, grabbed a case of Bud Light, and hit the road. Around 9:30 at night we pulled into this super busy Meggy Dees. I think the town was Decatur. Most of the clientele looked to be teenagers. It reminded me of the Meggy Dees I worked at while in high school. We were hungry, so we got out of the car to check the action. I ordered my usual: a double cheeseburger (they were going for only ninety-nine cents) and a small fries. I had to take a leak, so I went into the men's room.

This must of been an older Meggy Dees, because the john seemed ancient. It had two urinals and two stalls. In one of the stalls there was this guy, probably around thirty years old, taking a dump.

There were no doors on the stalls.

So here was this guy, grunting his way through a massive waste disposal activity, in view of all who enter this washroom facility. I felt bad for him. While I took my piss I could hear him grunting as he kept cutting loose with gastrophic noises.

I'm the type of guy who can piss anywhere -- in the woods, in a bucket, or off a hotel balcony. But when it comes to taking a dump, I gotta shit at home. I mean, even if there was an emergency and I had to cut loose of all the internal intoxication of which a body is capable after a spicy Mexican meal, I would rather crap my trousers than be a spectacle on the can in a toilet room that is without privacy.

I took an extra-long leak as this poor soul continued to counter-fumigate this restroom. I went to the sink to wash my hands. As this guy continued to crap away, two teens walked in to take a leak. When they heard this guy farting up a storm, they just burst out laughing.

At this point, I left. The two teens ran out right behind me and headed to their table, still laughing like Beavis and Butthead, telling their friends that there's some guy in there "laying a big one." The table was full of other teens, each of whom decided they too had to "check it out." So they kept filing in there two at a time, and when they'd return they'd be chuckling up a storm as if they were leaving a comedy club.

After about ten or fifteen minutes, the thirty-year-old guy still hadn't left the bathroom. My buddy Scorch then had to take a legitimate piss. He left the table and went into the restroom-turned-amusement-park. Right after Scorch entered the john, this guy who was making a chore out of emptying his intestinal system leaves. Scorch comes out laughing just like the teens. He says the guy got up, wiped his ass and went to flush, but the toilet wouldn't flush. It was out of order!

He says this to me and Brad so loud that the teens at the table hear, and all of them again pile into the john for an "encore." Moments later they poured back out of the john, laughing and fanning their noses. Scorch confirmed that this guy sure did "mark his territory."

My question is: why in the hell wouldn't McDonalds -- or any place that has a public facilities for that matter -- have stall doors?



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Thunderbox (706) -- 10.31.2006

Funny stuff DND. It`s no wonder that the Meggy Dees was so cheap - it offers free entertainment.

Don`t think of it as a stall with no door, but a small stage that can accommodate a one man show.

healthy 1 (1422) -- 10.31.2006

why in the hell wouldn't McDonalds -- or any place that has a public facilities for that matter -- have stall doors?

Probably as a cost saving measure. After all, where else can you find burgers for 29 cents?

All joking aside, I have recently became a shameless shitter, but I don't think I would enjoy shitting in front of a bunch laughing teenagers. That has to be pretty uncomfortable.

No stall door, I would only go in an emergency situation. But then again, if they invest in stall doors, the burgers may cost 39 cents instead of 29 cents.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

shitwit (493) -- 10.31.2006

Maybe the guy enjoyed performing his doo-ties in front of an audience. My father will shit anywhere in front of anyone - the epitomy of shameless!

Good story though, the high schoolers make it memorable. Had they not been there the story might have gone like this: "went to crapper, there were no doors, saw a dude laying cable, pissed, rejoined my buddies, ate my 29 cent burger, left."


_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

The Shit Volcano (3537) -- 10.31.2006

As Healthy 1 said above, I am not a shameful shitter, but in this situation I might become one. That poor guy!

I think they probably had no stalls on the doors because I am guessing both the shitters were out of order. They probably hadn't bothered to getting around to fix them. I'd say they were short of money, but this is McDonald's we're talking about here. I mean, come on! An international corporation doesn't have enough money to fix a couple of toilets. The economy would really suck if that was going on.

_______
If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

Anal About Poop (238) -- 10.31.2006

Now that's some Shameless Shitting! There is no way NO WAY I could do that. I would need a newspaper at the very least to cover my blushing face. Poor guy. Stupid TEENAGERS!

Anomalous Coward (684) -- 10.31.2006

Those teens are gonna get older too. Someday they will be giving the performance and receiving the teen revues. Hope they enjoy it. What goes around definitely comes around.

Nine Inch Log (337) -- 10.31.2006

At my friends wedding a few weeks ago the women's bathroom was out of order. The mens bathroom had no door. It had a shower curtain. An emergency arose and I had to shit. Long story short (because I plan on writing this for the main page), I ended up pooping while all the wedding guests filed in and out talking to me. Sometimes there is no stopping mother nature.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

SamDamnit (1191) -- 10.31.2006

Teenagers are evil. I am glad that I was never one of them.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

DungDaddy (1341) -- 10.31.2006

They don't put doors on the shitter stalls because they're trying to get you to poop somewhere's else. Less liability, less clean-up.

daphne (3202) -- 11.01.2006

This topic has been so covered in the forums, but not in this retrospect.

I've heard to decrease crime, drug abuse, sexual assault, etc. And after all the talk, I still don't know why.

Would you consider calling the restaurant, that particular one, (couldn't be hard to find in on anywho.com), and ask the manager why? It might be worth it.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Jake Scwarz (not verified) -- 11.02.2006

My high school had no stall doors, but that was due to vandalism. Boys would lock the doors, crawl out, then kick them in, knocking them off their hinges. Replacements were given the same treatment (kids thought it was funny - and besides, it helped them tease any poor sap who tried to shit at school) so replacing them wasn't feasible, it was a waste of money.

I agree that lowering crime or sex acts is one reason not to install doors. One local place has stalls built toi decrease that, but they attempted (but failed) to provide privacy anyway: stall doors are about two feet high, starting at knee level and ending at (sitting) eye level.

Big Shitter (not verified) -- 12.25.2006

Geez, whats the big deal? The 30 year old is a grown man who needed to take a big rank shit. All men do it, most of us are proud of our stench, and brag about 'fouling" the bathroom. The teenagers were just having fun, and would do the same if one of them was shitting. Lighten up, shit when you need to, as long as they don't bring teenage gals inside the MENS restroom, now THAT would be embarrasing !!! LOL

Sir Thomas (not verified) -- 02.17.2007

No stall doors? Interesting. I have seen the same at Atocha station in Madrid - in that case to prevent drug-users from shooting up in there.

Other toilet problems which could rule-out full door service include "cottaging", the lavatorial consumation of a man´s love for a man. Just ask George Michael.

I have seen two people share a toilet cubicle in London's piccadilly circus, the last of which to leave was carted off by security. Why I don't know.

Drugs? Todgering? Who can say.

All I know is that the toilet is for defecation.

Although they are bringing in toilets without side-walls in the Ladies at some London nightspots. Ladies - is this for powder-room gossip, or are you really comparing log measurements?

Which is more important - length or girth? Who decides on the winner? Are you competing for the affections of lager-driven male companionship? What happens in the event of a run-off?

The Thunderous ... (624) -- 02.17.2007

I became a shameless shitter at a very young age because in our old Catholic School we didnt have doors on a lot of the stalls so it was either crap your pants and never hear the end of it or have others watch you take a crap. It was at this time I began to learn that if I ate certain things the night before or the chili with extra bean lunch special at the cafeteria, I would produce dumps that would gag a maggot and make even the driest eyes water. I guess you could say during that time I began to HONE my turd terrorism skills.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 02.17.2007

There is no Wikipedia definition of the word "todgering". Someone should look into that.

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 05.24.2007


_Todgering.... I found this when I googled it http://www.smellybroom.com/2006/04/10/the-art-of-todgering/______
Producing waste since 1967

Anonymouse (not verified) -- 07.20.2007

Was there an 'out of order' sign?
How can a toilet be out of order anyway?
I've seen 'closed for cleaning' at Wal★Mart. In order to go I had to go in the McDonald's across the street.
Well, once in a Shell bathroom, there was a bag that had a piece of paper that said 'Out of Order' on it over the urinal.
And once in Chevron, there was a 'Closed for Cleaning' sign inside the bathroom. On every stall and urinal.

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