Some very interesting responses so far from females on the site. My own mother was pretty shameless in this regard, as I discussed in another story, "My Shameless Family." I remember her telling me a story once about a time when a family friend was visiting and wondered where she was. My grandmother (also shameless) said proudly: "Oh, I think she's in the bathroom doing her daily dozen."

My mother laughed as she told me the tale, and that was the first time I had ever heard the phrase 'daily dozen' in regard to pooping.

While I believe that women do discuss their poop, I seriously doubt it's such a competition like it is for men. that's just how men are... they are always worried about anything that might reflect badly on their penis size. But I'll bet among groups of competitive-minded women, like cheerleaders or soccer players, poop propensity is a subject of much bragging.

Size matters to me. If I have a big turd at home, of course I am going to show it to my fiance. I've also been known to discuss turd size with my mother. I've never been on any sports team so I wouldn't know how that goes, but in the real world of women (i.e. in the college dorm or locker room, or at a sleepover when I was younger) I've never experineced another woman showing off her shit. Which probably means that a lot of spectacular turds go unrecognized. Damn Western society and its repression of women.

I don't think that it's a matter of whether or not women are into turd comparison or shitchat as a nature, but it's more of their upbringing. In my family, toilet humor is an everyday thing, even at the dinner table - of course, my father working as a surgeon lowers the grossness of thinking about crap at dinner, as his work stories are much more gruesome. In my girlfriend's family, it's the same way. All of her extended relatives do it, so it's only natural that her and her 3 sisters are very comfortable talking about their shitcapades.

And for all of you relationship people out there: if you can talk about your craps with your lover, you two are pretty damn close and comfortable with each other!

I believe it's a combination of upbringing and one's current social and domestic situations. My father, my sister and I were all fairly open about toilet humour and poop stories when i was growing up (much to my mother's dismay). As I child I recall proudly discussing details about size, frequency, colour and smell with my sister. However, the crowd of girly-girls that I hung out with in high school and university were definitely shameful shitters and their influence affected me well into my 20's. Not only did we not discuss poop, we did not aknowledge the fact that we pooped at all. We'd go out of our way to make sure our friends and our boyfriends knew nothing of our bathroom activities. The only competitions that resulted from this behavior were silent and never talked about openly. Competitions of who could go the most days without pooping during a girl's weekend out of town, who could make the smallest, quickest, least smelly bowel movement when 4 girls were sharing a hotel room with one bathroom. To openly discuss the fact that young ladies like ourselves noticed things like size and odour of fecal matter would be social suicide within our circle. My plight as a shameful shitter might have continued indefinitely if I hadn't married the ultimate shameless shitter. The man I love takes great joy in commenting on not only his own poop, but the poop of each family member and each pet in our home. His conversations run from matter of fact to completely horrifying and disgusting in an obvious effort to get a reaction from me. Although I am still a recovering shameless shitter, I have been known to let a toddler who is potty training look into the toilet after I've gone and comment on mommy's poopies before they are flushed away. I've had proud moments when my babies learned to "go thumpies" in the big girl toilet. I've calmly and confidently walked into the bathroom, magazine in hand, making it obvious to all the world around me that I am indeed going to have a poop, that it will take awhile, and that I don't care who knows it. I think it's our responsibility as a new generation of women with our newfound poop freedom, to throw off the shackles of poop oppression and teach ourselves, our female friends and our daughters that it's cool to poop and it's even cooler to discuss it.

In my family we were also pretty shameless. My mother rarely discussed her 'moments in time' but I was quick to share. My best friend and I discuss our crap like a competetion on a daily basis. We're 30 year old grown women and still have the Shit Olympics.

When I was a child my parents got it into their head that I was somehow a sick, demented person if I talked about shit, farts, or any other bodily functions. They used to look at me sternly and tell me to stop it whenever I cracked a joke. Of course this made me do it more because I found their frosty expressions amusing. (Yes, they were right. I am demented.)
I have always been one to do the exact opposite of what is expected of me. This applies to social expectations as well as family ones. I, too, was told that ladies don't discuss their shit. So now whenever I need to dump a huge load everyone hears about it. I never turn on the fan for the stinky ones, and it's it's a pretty long one I might leave it in there for others to experience.
Screw social pooping expectations. Viva la shit!!!

I have been blessed with a family that relishes the idea and subsequent discussion of just about anything that has to do with an ass. My brother has an exceptionally hariy ass and shows it off at every opportunity; my mother farts up a storm and can be pulled out of a bad mood simply by emitting a decent or peculiar sounding fart; my father once shook the basement ceiling with a fart blasted on a wooden kitchen chair and laughed about it for a good three hours aferword.
Out of the six members of my immediate family, only my little sister has been slow to take delight in ass-related stuff (but she is coming around as she gets older and is less embarrased by fecal family fun). My older sister will write me an e-mail about a particualrily satisfying 'fury dump.' One time she wrote me about an occasion when she got up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. Because she was half-asleep, she wasn't sure as to exactly what had come out of her while she sat on the toilet so when she came back to the bedroom she turned on the light, turned arounsd, spread her ass cheeks apart, woke up her boyfriend at the time and asked him "Hey! Did I poo?" She had. He wasn't impressed.
My mother will often come down from the bathroom with a big smile and go on to describe the big "curler" she let loose. She likes it when it goes around the bowl twice and is at least an inch in diameter.
I love my family.

I don'tcare about my shit size. I dunno y tho

i've been a c.n.a. in a nursing home for 5 years. part of the every day job routine is viewing and recording b.m. size, small, medium, large, and x-large, of the residents i take care of. i have seen a LOT of shit in my day! for me and the girls i work with, it's not unusual to discuss poop, even our own. but i wouldn't call it a contest because we don't get competitive about it. it's just something we all laugh about and have in common. although, the girl i usually partner with and i have had what you might call farting contests many times. hers always smell kinda like rotten corn....

That is great. I've never personally compared my fecal matter. We do compare our anal air spouts.

Oh! I just posted on another thread ...the one titled "The Brown Line of Silence" about girls going to the restroom together. Maybe it's more appropriate that I post on this thread too. Granted, the size of my dump described in the story isn't anything that a man might do but in my experience, it's not too bad for a girl! ...right girls? I mean, a poop of at least 2 feet long and 2 inches thick is not bad for a girl. In any case, the two girls whom I describe in the story below as I recall it, thought it was a pretty good dump! I've always been proup of the dumps I've done and always have wanted to compare amongst my friends but not all girls, as mentioned by others, are into these sorts of contests. Here's what I posted on the other thread:
are any other girls like me? When i do a huge log in a public bathroom, I really get a lot of satisfaction to just leave it unflushed for the next person to see. Once while I was attending junior college, I did a turd so big that I was afraid to flush it anyway. It was one big log about a foot long and at least 2 inches thick and another foot long one which was a bit softer but still about as thick that was floating on top of the water in the bowl. heh, yeah, I hadn't had a bm for a few days. So, While I was washing my hands, two girls came in and one went into my stall and the other went into another one. When the girl who went into my stall saw my huge log and exclaimed to her friend: "Oh jeez, Amanda!! You gotta take a look at this shit!! It'll gross ya out! god damn! GROSS!!!!! It's hard to believe that a girl could do this much shit!! damn! I'm gonna shit everyday! I don't ever want to do this much shit! damn! GROSSS!!! As soon as you get out, you gotta look at this shit!!!!!! damn! gross!!!!!!!!!" She then came out of the stall and went into another stall to take care of her business. Funny thing is that I could hear both of them taking a dump too. The girl who was making such a big deal about my shit was making comments about hers like "ungh... that was a stubborn one" and after I heard a plop she said "man, i've been waiting all day for that to come out." I suppose they were doing just tiny little dainty poops! *laughs* Anyway, after the two girls were done, they both went back to my stall and continued to make comments about my big dump all while I was around the corner at the mirror doing my hair and fixing my make-up, etc. (I really wasn't but made it look that way so I could stick around.) Interesting think is that both girls just walked out of the bathroom without washing their hands or anything so they really didn't actually pay any attention to me ...they knew that I was there but didn't seem at all like they had any ideal that it was me who did that big dump! I really enjoyed it! I got some kind of kick out of their talking and gawking at my dump! Do I need psychological help? ...I don't know! Maybe!

Brandi, it sounds like you have the same interest in taking and showing off big dumps that a lot of guys do, only guys do seem to talk about it more openly and more often in the competitive way I described in my article. In detailing your experience on this thread, you, as well as some others, have answered my question to some extent about oneupsmanshit being a male/gender-exclusive thing. It certainly appears that it is not. The difference appears to be that girls and women have been socialized not to verbalize such interests, whereas guys are either encouraged to do so or the practice is tolerated with a smirk and a wink.

yes, big wiper, you're definitely correct. I remember as a young girl, my parents --especially my mom-- telling me not to be talking about poop. I would talk about it with some of my girlfriends. Some of them would and some of them wouldn't want to talk about it. I'm new to this forum and haven't read everything that's contained within and also I might have to think that what I'm about to bring up may be against this forum's rules but I'll briefly give you some information and if it gets edited out, so be it.

Taking a large, big or firm dump has always turned me on a bit sexually. Perhaps it has to do with the anus being close in relative proximity to the clitoris ...I don't know. I do know that this subject has been discussed on other internet forums and usually is associated with anal sex. I don't enjoy anal sex, however, so I don't know why I have this compulsion. So, even to talk about it to others, gives me some sort of sexual stimulation. I haven't figured out why I need to talk about it to other women, however. All I can surmise is that it somehow gives me a more powerful stance amongst my girlfriends if I can take a bigger dump than they can. But, as this topic suggests, that's a guy thing, right? *chuckles* Now I've had boyfriends that I've made envious that I could actually produce more shit than they could so I really believe in the creedence of your "oneupsmanshit" theory ...they don't even want a girl to "out shit" them let alone another guy. Several of my boyfriends even had my propensity of getting sexually aroused by the subject of intestinal waste ...well, namely mine. So with both of us getting turned on by my shitting a huge log, it made for some of the best sexual relationships I've had.

I guess what my questions is: are there other guys out there who get sexually turned on by a girl taking a big dump? How prevalent might this be???

This is a very interesting topic of discussion, but I think you won't be getting a correct view of the general pooping population by posting it here. After all, the girls who read this site are more likely to be a little weird, anyway (ie, we think poop is funny).
Most of the girls I know, I'd say 90%, are anti poop, fart, vomit, etc jokes and don't allow poop talk around them.
But some of the more competitive types will boast about their poops, because they are competitive by nature, even if poo grosses them out. One of my good friends went on a road trip with me last week, and the first thing she said when she got in the car was-"You'll appreciate this....I took the biggest crap of my life today. It wrappped around the inside of the bowl and overlapped itself." I was pretty proud of her! But I know the spirit of "oneupmanship" wasn't with her, because she had her cameraphone with her and she didn't take a picture-it hadn't even occured to her.
When I share a large poo story, I'm not looking to compete against anyone, I just want someone to giggle because I took a big poop. I don't think big poop is something you win at, it's something we all play for fun.

Now, stinky farts are another thing. If I can clear out a house, I know my job is done. But that might be because of all the fart contests I had with US Marines when I was growing up. We never engaged in any poop contests.

you had farting contests with marines? how fun was that ?!? =-D did you win any?

you people are just sick, talking about poo.jeez I don't even know how I got to this site. this is just gross I can't believe you talk about this all the time, yuck

nunya, yes I won! It was a lot of fun growing up with them. My dad was in the Navy and when we were stationed in Okinawa, all of my mom's friends were Marines. They taught well-if I was going to fart, I better do it loud enough for all to hear and judge, and one persons fart was enough to start a symphony of ass.

I haven't met a man I can't out fart to this day.

In my family, the women did (and still do) joke about, compare, and tell horror stories about poop. Till I got IBS, I could lay down brown boys that I'd compare with any man's. One time, during my rebellious teens, I got really pissed off at the neighbor's dog (homes were very close together, and this little hairy mop was tethered on a chain long enough to allow him to come snapping, biting, and of course shitting in our yard).

The usual polite complaints didn't work, so I decided to give them a taste of their own shitty medicine.

When I next felt the urge to lay a whopper, I deposited it on a paper plate. It was nighttime, and the doggy was in the house for the night. So I slipped out the back door, and quietly let my economy-sized loaf roll off the plate onto the steps leading to their back door. Looked like a Great Dane had left his calling card!

I thought that was as freaky as our neighborhood would get. But then, as I observed the scene of my crime each day, I noticed that these morons either didn't notice this humongous butt loaf, or else were too lazy to dispose of it.

During my more recent bouts of constipation, I look back on those days ever so fondly....

Well...if i was dating a guy...and if i was totally in love with him...i wouldn't break up with him when the pants came off to find out he isn't so blessed. That's just wrong. When it comes to pleasure though the bigger the penis the bigger the orgasm. Although there are some positions where the penis came come in contact with the clitoris and give you the same pleasure. So i'm not going to give a direct answer to this. Yes and No for me. It just depends.

OMG!!! NEVERMIND!!!!

Hey poopmagick! You should try out-farting my Dad. His heart medication gives him the stinkiest gas I have ever had the misfortune of smelling. It brings on instantaneous nausea. I don't know how to spell the medicine's name actually, but it sounds like forosamide.
Of course, now that my mom is also on some kinds of heart medication they out-toot each other on a regular basis. So much for the prim and proper jerks I used to live with as a kid.
I have two choices: Pile on the cholesterol so I can get my own fart ammo or find a new place to live.
I dare not look at their shit!

HAHAHA! That Autumn person thought we were talking about the size of something else..........

Hey, Autumn, it's cool, though. Seems sexuality inevitably finds its way into many of our discussions here on PR. Peace and Plop!

Here in Indonesia we revere huge turds. The bigger the better. In fact, one particular cult on a very small island in the archipelago used to set up special shrines at which to display and worship extraodinarily large turds. The practice became so popular that the island eventually had to be abandoned for lack of remaining space in which to construct the turd-worshipping shrines.

Subsequently, Islamic purists invaded the island and obliterated all traces of the pagan cult's scatotheology. Seems a shame that such a diverse and bizarre religious belief is looked upon as heretical. Afterall, what could represent the joyful celebration of the human experiment more meaningfully that a shrine to oversized poop?

Hehe, right on! Medicated farts are pretty horrible, but I prefer to challenge others when I'm clean.

One of my secret weapons-broccoli cheese soup. Gets 'em every time. ;)

Ok, I don't know if this is a British thing, but here we never really talk about 'poop'! Also, a poop to us means a fart, and we say poo instead. ANYWAY, in my family and in my circle of friends we don't have many hang-ups about poop, we just never feel the need to discuss it really! I suppose you could call this a hang-up!
Since my little sisters were born we are a lot more open about it for obvious reasons, but if one of us has diahorrea we tend to say 'a bad tummy'. However, we are very open about farting-in fact, when I was younger at the end of this TV programme which had folk music at the end I'd do a little dance and fart at the end! It took a while for my stepdad to stop being disgusted but eventually he gave in and can now fart with the best of us!

This is a very Gaelic thing indeed, this farting while dancing an elfish jig dealie. Believe me, it's not only Gaelic, but dates back to Keltic times when we Druids danced with gay abandon and then all farted in unison just before throwing the sacrificial one into the peat bog. The bog god usually responded with a monstrous fart as it engulfed the sacrificial one down into it's murky brown bowels for eternal digestion. Ah, the Britishness of it all!

Fart Fairy, your post is hilarious. Thanks. I needed a good laugh after a tough two weeks of travel.

I've always wondered: if everyone in the eastern hemisphere bowed down with their asses to the west and everyone in the western hemisphere bowed down with their asses to the east and EVERYONE farted at exactly the same moment, would the earth's rotation cease?

Von Wiper: You mean you didn't like them both? Dang! I'll try harder next time

Hey, Shit Volcano, I know the pill you're talking about. It's furosemide, the generic name for Lasix. Body-builders often abuse it, because it's a diuretic; peeing out your water from your skin makes your muscles look more well-defined. (Yeah, I know it's insane, but so is anyone who'd want to look like Ah-nold.)

Just imagine...a bunch of body builders at a competition, pumped full of Lasix...and pumping out horrendous farts. Man, I'd hate to judge THAT contest!

my granny used to like leaving her canoes in the toiled unflushed to freak out my mom when she was a girl...one time...success, she heard a scream from my mom when she dicovered the anaconda in the bowl and laughed and laughed herself silly over playing the joke on my mom...
I never had farting contests but a close friend and I had a certain courtesy established when we were driving together in my car, she would announce, "I have to fart" and I would politely reply "well, can you then please roll down the window"....the window didn't always help, it was better when we went for walks, when we could just enjoy the musical variations of our farts w/o the smell.
If you want to know one of the worst fuels for toxic smelling farts - roasted garlic, eaten in sufficient quantities, omg....relentless and putrid. But anything from the bean family, eggs esp combined iwth browned onions is very dangerous... ;o)

Yo, Wang Fart Dung Fairy, or whatever...I liked the Islamic Turd Shrine Post, too. In fact, anyone that calls me Von Wiper is a Pooper Friend of mine.

My dad eats raw garlic by the cloves, too. That man is a real stinky son of a bitch!

i think pooping is fun, my dad told me storys about how at his job they'd measure the size of there poop, i loved hearing those stories. people think its weird how i find poop, and pooping so fun and entertaining. before i send it off to its new home, i check it to see what she looks like and sometimes even name it.
remember everyone....
smears happen!

As great a scientific achievement as your global fart cyclone experiment would be, you might want to have everyone blowing in the same direction.

Well when I was younger I would tell my parents how big my shit is, but normally I don't tell other people. But me and my best friend are now starting to have 'who can have the nastiest smelling fart contest.'

my shit was once green like super green like the grass on your lawn

Hey Fred. Wouldn't that just speed the earth up. Maybe. I don't know. It seems more logical when I'm drunk.

Oh, never mind. Duh! I get it.

After a recent car accident i have been put on painkillers. The problemis they make me so dam constipated and my ass hurts more then the pain fromthe accident lol. I dont know about length, but i have been dropping CANNONBALLS with a red streak down the side, my hemmoroids will never be the same. My poor ass! My ex got tired of hearing me scream in the bathroom and left me LOL.

This forum is too funny. In my first year of university I lived in a dorm with one washroom for the boys and another for the girls. After a number of months it became known that the guys were competing to produce the largest turd. This involved a lot of hearty moaning and gruff animal howls followed by sighs of relief, gasps of disbelief and then...well, then the crowning achievement was left to stew in the bowl for all the envious to admire.
As a feminist, I felt compelled to show the boys the real kind of sugar and spice us girls are made of. After a number of lacklustre attempts, one sunny Tuesday morning my rear gave birth to an unearthly sleek serpent that coiled--three times--around the bowl. Its proud head actually touched the bottom of the seat.
Without thinking, I raced out into the dorm, screaming "I win! I win!" As it happened, a group of high school girls were taking a tour of our floor. The ever-eager guide asked me to elaborate on what great freshman victory I had just achieved. "I just took the biggest dump ever!" I exclaimed breathlessly. The guide's face contorted into disgust but the younger girls, desperate to feel like they belonged, all seemed anxious to become a part of my historical moment. So I ended up dragging in two of the young students, as well as my roommate, into the washroom. Each one took an opportunity to inspect the great turd before unanimously proclaiming (back out in the hallway) "That's the biggest crap I've ever seen!"
After making one girl promise not to let any one disturb evidence of my victory, I raced into the boys' side of the residence and grabbed one of them. He was doubtful and laughing as I dragged him down the hall, assuring me that there was no way I was going to win the contest. That was before he saw just exactly what exam anxieties, fries, gravy, cheese and chicken fingers can do to a lady. The poor boy claimed I had most definitely beat out the competition. I grabbed my camera to have my picture taken with my now humbled male co-hort and the great turd. As I bent in and down toward the toilet bowl, a proud thumb raised, my elbow hit the flusher.
To this day I still have the picture of me staring shocked and horrified, as I watch all my dreams of glory slip down the pipes. In the end, I was awarded a prize for best effort, which as we all know, really doesn't count for much. Sigh.

Queenie, that story is fake. Nice try.

fake stories pollute this great site

My hypothesis is that men obsess about turds because it's the closest thing to childbirth they'll ever have.

PooperGAl--the other hypothesis I have heard, and being a guy I can attest to its merits, is that men obsess about turds and turd-size because we do the same thing about our penises. Also, we guys connect our penises to a major bathroom function (pissing), so perhaps that's the way it all should come out in the end. (I think I just made a pun.)

Good points, TBW.
There does seem to be a relationship between both ideas, though: The pride that guys appear to feel when they drop a big brown bomb, is not unlike the pride a woman feels after producing a beautiful 8lb baby, after all that pregnancy, labor and birth effort.

It's kind of a "Look what I made!" moment in both cases.

What does she think of the placenta?

Once the baby's out, the placenta's like an afterthought. It just gushes out as "afterbirth" and goes away. I think the new mother is pretty well focused on the baby.

Of course, poop often plays a role even in childbirth, and there is an entire section about Childbirth Poop for anyone who absolutely has got to know about it.

I comment regularly there. It's pretty scary what can happen when you pass a kid. Wish I had read the story BEFORE I offered to be my sister's baby's surrogate mom.

Yah, that's true. Those stories on childbirth poop made me think carefully about potential future childbearing, and whether I should just bring my own Depends diapers to the maternity ward with me!

If we're pushing out a mega-dookie along with our bundle of joy, I think it will distract us from noticing the afterbirth stuff. After all - how can a placenta compete with a beautiful baby AND a turd the size of a watermelon???

Oops. This is supposed to be a discussion on the Ayatollah's rules for pooping! heh heh

Oops... just remembered it's the discussion on Oneupmanshit. Some of these things get so long (like a coil of brown rope...), I forget what the original topic was.

I hate brain farts!

Yeah, I have my share of them. Geez.

The brain fart is the only fart that you don't have to worry about coming out leaky.

Well...from my experience...women look at poop differently than men...and we do look at it. Not to measure its size but to analyze it for various reasons. I inherited this talent from my mother. A woman, especially a mother, can tell much about the health of a person from their poop...color, smell, consistency, contents, amount...all have to be taken into consideration, of course...let's not forget the "lack of" poop! Also, you have to take care to check if the poop settles into the bottom of the toilet or are there floaters? Are there little balls for turds or nicely formed smooth turds? Reading poop is a biological science that I think some women have a talent for...or are there some men out there who have the talent also???

I agree with you, imahemmie. It's a good health practice to review your poop in the manner you describe. Here's one guy that regularly views before he wipes and flushes.

When I was a kid I kept getting pinworms. Now I'm so paranoid I have to look.

I'm wondering how self-consciousness of defecation began in the first place. It almost seems like some arbitrary rule people made up for no reason. I'm sure it predates the victorian era, so it couldn't have began there. Any ideas?

I remember reading that King (of France) Louis XIV used to have an audience when he crapped. He sat on the commode, surrounded by courtiers who applauded every time he dropped a log. Then they passed the pot around for all to "ooh" and "aah" over his ass products.

Or was that Louis XVI? Hm. I know it was one of the Louis's.

Mike, you pose a good question. It's a subject for Dave-O's new Academic Poop section, though I'm wondering how much material is out there on the subject to do the research.

PooperGal, I don't which Louis it was, but you just reminded me of a hilarious sequence from Eddie Murphy's "Coming To America." There's a scene while he is still in his African country and, being the prince he is, has just risen from a good night's sleep. A sliding wall then reveals what looks like a golden commode or some sort of elaborate toilet, as the prince obviously prepares for his morning download. We don't see him actually do it, but his valet claps his hands and shouts, "Wipers!" and the rest is left to your imagination.

Heh heh.
Great work if you can get it, eh?

Poop is indeed an accomplishment. I believe that the reason men have one upmanship with the size of their feces is because of the process it takes to "Drop a load" If you have ever had your doodymaker stretched by a turd that in my father's word's regarding one of my greatest creations, "looks like a freagin vase" you know of the torment that was necessary to achieve perfection. The fact that this process is so intense leaves the dumper with a tremendous feeling of accomplishment (as well as relief, so long as nothing was torn). Human nature causes man to want to share his accomplishments with the world. Do women engage in this same activity, I sure hope so.

Since this is a feature on one upmanship I shall share my own poop story.

I was @ a music festival that lasted for 5 days and the only means of emptying my bowels were very nasty porta Johns. I managed to hold it in for 4 days while on a steady diet of roughage. When I arrived at the porta John the seat was disgusting and the crap container mostly full. I did what anyone would do and hovered. It was a turd of epic proportions and by the time I was done 15 minutes later I was drenched in sweat and my thighs were aching. as I turned I saw the most impressive site of my life. The turd had not bent when it entered the refuse and had instead sunk into it, as that it was standing up above the seat (actually it drooped and did a u and was partly on the seat too). I am the champion

Women have childbirth, which makes dropping even the most enormous turd seem insignifican. So, we girls can't get that excited about dumps. We're going for the "mother" lode.

Yes women may drop something larger in childbirth, but the hole is larger. Also In this day where premature births are common I'm sure that I have had craps bigger than many a child. My poo is indeed significant. I know I have no argument, but I have my pride.

Hey, Poop Pride is totally cool. After reading about some of the monster dooks people on PR have produced, I can appreciate that some logs are larger than a newborn.

As for the difference in hole size, I have to say that judging by some of the things ER doctors have extracted from people's poop chutes, the rectum gives the vagina a run for the money...

I appreciate your diplomacy on what could have been an explosive situation. And can I get an amen for the poop chute being a one way whole? I'll listen to anything about stuff coming out, but stuff going in, that's disgusting

My sister's friend wants to put a tattoo on her ass that says "exit only".

Good for her

brandi - here's one guy that gets turned on by a girl's bm's. I've watched a few girlfriends shit over the years - but none of them have ever managed anything like the size you describe!! They haven't been turned on by having a bm either.

Your story about the big logs was brilliant - but you didn't say much about producing them. Did you have to strain for ages to get them out for instance, and was it a tremendous relief??

My friends and I are all girls, and we discuss our poops regularly. We don't have size contests, but we do like to show off our poops. For instance, within the past 2 semesters we have witnessed a pretzel shaped, florida shaped, penis and balls shaped, finger shaped, and a thumbs up shaped poop. Also, one of them disgracefully, who shall remain nameless, can only produce rabbit turds. She strives for greatness though, and we cheer her on. It is not a gender limited thing, we discuss it with guys as well. We also have Wafty Wars on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.

Florida shaped. Ha ha ha!!!!

On the topic of shit shape. I believe that crap shapes have alot to do with what you have ate and also how large or small your anus is. I personally have some very oddly shpeed craps. The most memorable being a poo that seemed to have been put through a cookie cutter, it was shaped in almost a square. I quickly called my brother because it was absoulutlely hilarious. He was laughing for a good half hour, as was I. Eventually the smell from the shit was overwhelming and we had to flush it. But it will go down in my history books as an awesome shit.

General Cornwallace. That is the name of my last masterpeice. 4 inches wide 12 inches long. It could be compared to the size and shape of a size 12 shoe. Completely unflushable for 2 weeks. The General finally broke apart to constant peeing and proding of aww struck spectators. Cornwallace will be with me forever.

Birdie Birdie in the sky.
Why'd you do that in my eye?
I'm sure glad cows don't fly!

When we do, it's not something we tell YOU. We keep it amongst ourselves.

Back in the good old days before we got married, my wife and I would often check out each others' poop.....we'd crack jokes, look down into the toilet during the pooping process, fart in each others' faces, etc, etc....She would also give me enemas and take great delight in my blasting brown spray all over the bathtub.....Alas, nowadays, with a three-year-old kid at home and married life firmly set in, although we have no bathroom secrets, she doesn't take any delight in my checking out her poop. She's not against it, but she doesn't clown around....She also doesn't make jokes. She also doesn't want me farting when she's eating............Ah, the romantics of youth we do remember with nostalgia!!! The only silver lining is that when she gives me an enema - even though now she insists I sit on the throne to spray - she can still crack a smile at my ninety-decibel groans of relief!!

I'm the sort who is very concerned(and curious) about my poop. I could spend half an hour staring at my crap. A crap speaks a million words -- it tells me whether I've been eating right or drinking enough water etc etc. I recall an incident when I was drunk. It was around midnight, everyone was asleep, and I had a strong urge to crap. So I did. Grabbed a pencil and started swirling the stuff in the WC, grinning like hell, nearly dunked my head in until I remembered what I was doing--- playing with my poop and enjoying every second of it.

You ever have an surprise explosive poo? You're in mid sentance with someone, and suddenly, you feel it coming all at once. Yur like, "Uh, I gotta go. Be right back." and scurry to the bathroom, struggling not to burst your britches. By the time ya lift the lid on the toilet seat, you're frantically undoing your pants cuz its about to go critical. As you begin your squat, it all shoots out. All stinky, splattery, juicy and nasty. And more to come. Once you're certian that its all out, you stand up and turn around to look down on what just came out of you (looks like bits of corn and peas from the vegies didn't even digest). When ya wipe, its all wet and gushy and disgusting. Gotta use half of the roll to really finnish. And it still leaves your pants feelin somewhat wet. Ya flush the toilet, leave the place smellin like somethin died. Takes hours for it to go away even with the dehumidifier on.

I let the World's Loudest Fart. While remodeling a school, I noticed the PA system in the Auditorium was set up on the stage, and was still on. I turned up the volume and pretended to be a big star, with no audience...until my co-worker walked in, whereupon I placed the microphone to my ass and let rip a Big Mac Attack. The concussion tore loose a couple ceiling tiles and sent my friend into convulsions of laughter. I was the talk of the shop for months.

At college, one of the guys in my suite used to drink blue kool-aid by the bucket. His roommate always joked him that he was going to shit blue. Lo and behold, one day he's on the crapper and after a few minutes we hear the following exclamation: "IT'S BLUE!!!!!!!!!" He waddles out into the common area, shorts still around his ankles, exclaiming "IT'S BLUE!!! IT'S BLUE!!!!" Of course, everyone runs into the stall and stares at the log. Sure enough: Smurf Shit!

I had the worst dorm in college. There was a mad shitter loose on our floor. The turds usually ended up on the floor, the shower stalls, or people's beds, but his crowning achievement actually made it to the bowl. This was a log that, had it been claimed, would have been awarded the Nobel prize of dumps. It was only about a foot long, but its width was inhuman. It must have been five inches in diameter. It stuck in the toilet hole and poked up out of the water defiantly, like a little Napoleon. It mocked us because no one, and I mean not even biohazmat teams, was going near the monstrosity. Napoleon held his post stubbornly for about a week. We had a floor meeting because the cleaning ladies had fled from the beast and the dorm was so dirty that people were getting dysentery. We had to roust the dictator. We all emplored the Mad Shitter,whomever he might be, to get rid of the log that had probably made it difficult for him to walk. The next day, Napoleon was gone as mysteriously as it appeared. Mad Shitter, wherever you are, you have raised the bar on oneupmanshit. Not just because you laid a turd that should have been in the record books, not just because you must have endured gross bodily pain to do it, but because you left it for a week, with utter disregard for other humans, just so the turd could bask in the glory of its own stubborn girth. Mad Shitter I salute you.

I dont like the way my turd flys to the left! how can i stop that from happening??

I am going to eat the hottest hot wings every day for every meal for the test of my life. Furthermore, I'm going to the social security office tomorrow and legally changing my name to "Drippy Hotsaucypants".

A POEM I WROTE

You are poo.
Poo is you.
The you is poo ya.
The poo is you ya.
Its the you thats the poo-mitsfa.
Its the poo thats the you mista.
You mista poo-mitsfa.
The brown goo on you is poo.
You is the gooey poo man.
Goo poo you on your shoe
You got goo on the shoe and its poo.
You goey poo shoe man.
You is the pooey shoe goo man.

I for one want to hear women especially really hot women talk about there terds, i think its not recognized enough by all these people who act like there shit doesn't stink. Wheres theres input ie... food there has to be output ie....terds. Come on all you people who think your shit doesn't stink and fess up and be honest and most importantly remember if you have a hole its there for a reason.

Who the hell named that silly old bear "Winnie the Poo" anyhow? Why didn't they call him "Winnie the Terd" or "Winnie the Schlit" or "Winnie the Log". That would have been cool.

Ya know, I betcha nobody maintains this filthy website. In fact, I betcha nobody is going to go out of their way to remove whatever I have to say here in this poop report place. Lets see... hmnn, what can I talk about. I'll tell yall all about the time I threw a ball down the road. It bounced and bounced and bounced and just kept on bouncing until I couldn't see it any more. Thena neighbor picked it up and saw my address written on it. So the old man got in his truck and drove it down to me and said "I'm going to bring this back to you this time, but keep your balls to yourself". Ok now I've gotten bored talking about that. Lets throw in some random filth. SMUT! Nah thats a wanabe swear word like dang or crap. Ok I'll tell yall what: keep reading and I'll do whatever I can to fill this shindig up with random text. Any random text really. As long as it doesn't talk about defecation of any sort I'll keep typing. Really I will. I will go on and on and on and on and on til someone stops me. But I have a hunch that nobody is going to go in here and remove all this. Why? Cuz nobody in their right mind would want to maintain a website dedicated to the subject matter that this website is dedicated to. You are all disgusting. All of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I bet you're all adults and know better than to be going to websites like this. Your parents wouldn't be proud of you at all. For shame! Go to your room and thing about what you've done. Ok never mind dont do that or else you might pry your eyes awway from the screen. And we can't have that cuz I wanna keep typing and typing and keep you reading until your eyeballs fall out of their sockets. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Thats right dummy. I know that in this huge internet world out there, there is at least YOU who continues to read on this insanity! And why> Because you're BORED like me! If I'm bored enough to keep on typing, theres gonna be you, the person who is bored enough to keep on reading! Its ok dont feel bad. The world can get boring sometimes. And why not ease the boredom with some cheetos. If you're reading this, please go get some cheetos and join me in dining on cheetos. I'll give you 5 minutes. OK you're back, and have cheetos. Lets have one together. Ready? CHOMP!!! Oh my god thats good. Its not easy being cheesy. Man cheetos are the bomb. I could eat cheetos til I puke. CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!! Oh god thats good. What kind do you have? I got the flaming hot kind. I like them cuz they POOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to dumping jack flash- i am a woman, and i am very proud each time i push out a large movement. i love to look at it as i wipe to see how big and wide it is. and the more i push and grunt, the better/i'm also proud when i can sit on the toilet and fart out loud like a guy., before taking my dump.

Well, here I am again. A whole two months went by, and my last long and pointless paragraph about mostly random stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with poo is still up there. What does that tell ya? Tells ya that I was right: nobody in their right mind would wanna maintain a website dedicated to poop. So here I go again on another long and boring text trip. Why do I do this? For the same reason you continue to read this! I'm BORED! MUAHAHAHAHA! I guess I could talk about poo this time tho. Lets see, I poo'd in a bag and launched it from a catapult. The poo flew through the air and landed on a dude's windshield while drivin down the road. I swear, it literally scared the crap out of him. The guy stopped his car, reached into his pants, pulled out a terd and threw one back at me. I ducked and it landed right on the neighbor's plate of mashed potatoes (neighbor happened to be having a patio dinner out on their picnic table). All the guests at the table started getting all sick and nauseaos and were vomiting all over the place. Some of them must not have realized that there was shit in their potatoes cuz a few kept eating, got diahria, and had to race to the toilet. Except there was only one toilet in the house, so it turned into a wrestling match between two old ladies, a kid, and the owner. They were shoving and punching each other out of the way to get to that toilet before they crapped their britches. The owner kicked in the door cuz he had to go so bad. Anyhow, you know where this is goin. It came down to all four of them with their pants down pushing each other out of the way of the toile fighting over the same bowl. It was nasty. Crap was flying all over the place and got all over the floor and the seat of the toilet. It was a mess. I was just watching it all happen and laughing. The dude in the car had long left and probably changed underwear cuz he had a skid mark the size of an oil slick in his pants. Still reading? Golly than you must be as bored as I am. Ever seen one of those "magic bullet" blenders? I dare ya to go get some ice and make a $hit smoothie.

BRAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! OK, so one time, at band camp, there was this dude who poo'd in the tuba so crude and then sued cuz his mood was so rude. He chewed on some food and then spewed some green goo so nasty and crude that it made headline news.

We're cool!
In denial!
We're the cool regulators
smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO!
We're cool!
In denial!
We're the cool regulators
smoking CIGARO CIGARO CIGARO!

I eat shit for breakfast
Its the yummiest yummiest thing
That brown and gushy goodness
turns winters into spring!

I eat shit for breakfast
I fry it in a pan,
or skillet fry, or oven bake,
I'll take it raw with spam.

I eat shit for breakfast
I spread it on my toast
I dip my chicken nuggets in it
Ya, I know it sounds gross.

But still, I eat shit for breakfast
because its so delicous
not sure if its nutritious
but it fullfills all my wishes.

I love to eat shit with tacos
burritos, refried beans
i mix my shit in with it all
and devour by all means

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Like my poem? I'm still pretty sure nobody is maintaining this website. So, I return now and then to waste domain space. I bet all you sicko shit-enthusiasts got a real kick out of that one. Dont bother replying to my email or checking the home page cuz its all phony. No way i'd give you my real info. Bunch of shit obsessed shitheads! SHAME ON YOU!!! Now, back to watching X-Files......

It's amazing that the above poem passed Dave's delete button. Grow up, whoever you are!

I agree with you on this one, TSV. The poem and post are gross, but I remember reading the comment and choosing not to delete it. I didn't approve it, either. It was touch and go.

If this person returns with a similar comment, I wouldn't hesitate to delete next time.

Ew. That's gross.
The person who wrote that poem is an idiot. How can he (or she) think this site is not being maintained when there are new stories coming in everyday, not to mentioned the huge, recent update?
Ah, well.

I think the poem is creative. Its kinda gross, but isn't this entire website? I mean, it brings together a bunch of poop enthusiasts! Anyone whos enthusiastic about this site has to be a bit of a gross wierdo to some degree. I for one think the poems cool. They should add an entire poetry section to this site, and mabey even a photo poop-art gallery! That would be cool and unique from all the other sites on the net (in a kinda gross way of course).

If you would look, there is a Poo-etry section here. And no, there are no gross weirdos on this site. At least not anyone who gets the POINT of the site. We simply enjoy cracking jokes with bathroom humor.

Is it true that there is going to be a turd tax? The bigger the turd the bigger the tax? That can't be fair right? How about this to save water/taxes:All men pee outside say,on bushes and stuff.Think of the water savings due to all the flushes saved! Think of the green plants! This could really help out planet!

If you suffer from constapation like I do, the word is: hotsauce. I'll eat the hottest spiciest stuff just to clear the bowels once in a while. Hot wings are what do the trick. I'll go eat the hottest ones on the menu once in a while to clear the insides. The ones that work the best are the bentleys at Hooters with extra extra bentley sauce. You'll feel 20 pounds lighter the next day after you take a dump, then a few minutes later take another dump, then another a few minutes later, etc etc..... (repeat until done).

Its raining $hit.
Falling from the sky.
Its raining $hit.
Poopey splatters all awry.
Its raining $hit.
Think I got some in my eye.
Its raining $hit.
Like diagria bits
Its raining $hit.
Gonna have to wash my car.
Its raining $hit.
I hear the thunder rolling.
Its raining $hit.
So much for: "God is bowling"
Its raining $hit.
No my name aint "Howard"
Its raining $hit.
I'm the "Anonymous Coward"
Its raining $hit.
$hit.$hit.$hit$hit.$hiiiiiiiiiiit!
Its raining $hit.

WAHOOOO WHOOOPIEEEE
YAAAAAAHOOOO!!!!!!!
Its me again you poo peeps.

This is another one of those threads that makes me think I've blundered into a parallel universe.

Eat lots of refried beans with near equal amounts of extra spicy salza mixed in with em. Then eat more of that. And more. Keep on goin. Its good stuff. Wash it down with Heinekin beer. Next morning, have a lighter handy. I $hit you not - it works.

Holy cow! It worked!!! I tried a large refried beans and salza-de-fuego from taco cabana (the darker salza) plus a six pack of Heinekin! I didn't use a lighter tho. I used long matches. It worked though! 14 successful ignitions. I think I may had discovered an alternative fuel source. PATTENT PENDING!!!

Most of the things we find dirty are what our parents tell us are wrong when we are little. Stuff in a kid's early years can eaily become permanently hard-coded. In addition to that, there are several factors in what makes people competitive or not about poop, shameful or shameless, etc.

I don't know about the ladies, but I know we menfolk are pretty much competitive about the size of everything. Most of our comparisons between our belongings consist of "Mine's bigger than yours." I guess it's a testosterone thing.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Hmmmm, well, interesting stuff. Other than tit size, women don't really compare the sizes of anything (except maybe penis sizes). As for the male turd comparison issue, I figure the bigger the turd, the larger the asshole; the larger the asshole, the higher the odds that something has been shoved up there at some time or other.

Update to Lord Moldybutt's comment: That Taco-Cabana-Beans-and_Salza plus Heinekin recipe didn't work. But the refried beans from taco bell and mix them half-and-half with taco-bell's fire sauce. Add jalapenos. Wash it down with either guiness beer or some kinda super cheap-nasty malt liquor. Me and my dawgs talked lil'frankie into tryin it. Kid shit his pants, but got successfull flame too.

Hmmm, "An Idiot" must have given up his attempt at filling the site with random "random text." Yipee.

On topic now, I think it is a matter of culture. Some people are proud to compare and talk about poo, other cultures dispise the word.

In terms of poop sizes, it is all diet, and bowel capacity of the individual. Some small men poop huge, wile some men with that look like body builders can poop small. The same goes for women.

_______
Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.

However, healthy 1, I do think that culturally men are more inclined to brag about their 'work' than women are. PR, of course, is about bringing the entire poop universe out of the closet, so to speak, for both genders.

As a child I didn't actually compare dumps with my sister, but we certainly talked about them (we had to, bowel problems were almost a constant worry in our house). I learned early that it's a good idea to examine your doos for signs of ill-health.
Example - my last dump was yesterday, and it was more difficult than it should have been, since it wasn't lubricated by coffee or anything else. Though I was only pushing out little lumps, it felt like my ring was being stretched and I worried my fissures were going to open again. But there was no blood on the paper or in my doo.
Constipation is the only time to worry about sizes and quantities - but I agree it's particularly satisfying to do a big dooey, a large load in the lavatory is a large load off your mind.

I am a farting machine! I work at a nursing home and deal with alot of shit. The funniest thing happened, I just went into a residents room to check on them and took them to the bathroom, when I got them back to bed I had to fart so bad that I just let it rip, I stunk so bad and the resident was making this really weird face, I could not help but laugh it was so funny.

Though I have never openly compared my poop with anyone elses. My father and stepmother were very open about poop, while my mother is repulsed by even the word.

I guess many people subconsciously compare their poop to others. I don't know if it is a natural in-stinkt, or if those of us who compare poop are just sick and demented fu@#s.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

It was inevitable - the poop report folks must stretch out across the web and come together with youtube. Checkout the biggest turd in the world at the following url: http://youtube.com/watch?v=9LbV8FNWaBk

contrary to popular opinion, poop bloggers aren't OBSESSED with shit. its funny to post once in a while when bored, but that dont mean its the biggest part of a poop bloggers life. like the world revolves around terds. ya right!! actually, that would be funny. if the center of the universe, that place in the middle where the whole "big bang" took place, was just a big fat TERD. that would be funny

When it comes to cross gender poop compairrison I cannot compete with my wife for quantity. She produces toilet topping mountains - sometimes she has to stop, get up, flush and start again, it can take hours. But she is unable to match me for size of individual logs. I am proud of my ability to consistently lay down turds 2" to 3" in diameter with out making special efforts. So, in the spirit of fair competition, we have set up a gauge for who can lay the most rancid dump. On the back of the john is a candle. When the dump is determined to be an odiferus tear jerking contender we light up the candle to see how big the flame gets. Normal flame hight is about 1" - 1 1/2" but when exposed to a lingering cloud of death the flame can jump up to 3", 4" or even higher. Extra credit is earned for how long the flame remains high and if the stench is able change the color of the flame - blue or red.

Arty Farty threw a party,
And all the farts were there;
Tooty Frooti let a beauty,
And they all came up for air.