Poop For Peace 2005: Introduction

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. The Sunnis hate the Shiites. All across the globe, the chasm dividing humanity is ever deeper. In all the world's wars against terror, the distinction of who is perpetrating which depends on what side you ask -- so divided are we as a species that we can't even agree why we're killing each other.

For there to be peace, there must be understanding. For there to be understanding, there must be a common ground. But the further the chasm deepens, the more fundamental to basic human nature the common ground has to be.

And so April 15 is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop is the one experience all human beings have in common. We may have varying ideas of God and politics, but the power of an impending poop is a higher calling to which every human must answer. Side by side in a public bathroom, any two human beings are stripped of their differences and reduced to their most basic essence: a pair of feet sticking out below the stall, and a pair of butt trumpets performing a greasy symphony to lament humanity's non-negotiable deference to the call of the vile.

Under the influence of Taco Bell, there is no Christian or Muslim or Jew. There are only human bodies, reacting to the complications of digestion in the same predictable and malodorous ways. Poop wields supreme power over our bodies -- when poop calls, you answer, or you face the consequences. Poop is our cruel tyrant, our fickle deity, our omnipotent oppressor -- it is a force to which every human being has no choice but to submit.

And recognizing this is the first step toward world peace.

Poop For Peace Day is not a day of protest. Pooping for peace is not a left-wing or right-wing activity. Pooping for peace is an act of unity. It's not about religion or politics. Rather, it's about the simple truth: underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires. To poop for peace is to transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human. Only from starting at such a fundamental truism can we hope to expand our understandings and solve our differences.

On April 15, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Saddam and Osama on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

poop for peace

Poop For Peace Day 2005 has passed. Poop For Peace Day 2006 has passed. And yet, somehow, war and suffering still exist in the world. Which means next year we'll poop for peace twice as loud; and the world will echo with the flatulence of freedom.

Submit your address for an email reminder when Poop For Peace Day 2007 rolls around.

subscribe to PoopNews (our witty sporadic newsletter) as well

just Poop For Peace, thanks

Thanks to Tristyn for the idea! From his diaper came my inspiration.

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Be part of the official
Poop For Peace Day kickoff call!

Put up posters!

Post a banner on your site!

Send out a press release!

The Final Wipe
has graciously offered a free sample to anyone Pooping For Peace! Email Anthony for information.

The Daily Download: 3/8/05

The Boston Pheonix: 3/24/05
Detroit MetroTimes: 4/6/05
Nashville Scene: 4/7/05
Riverfront Times: 4/13/05

Houston Press: 4/14/05

Get shirts, buttons, stickers and more at the Poop For Peace store!

140 Comments on "Poop For Peace 2005: Introduction"

George's picture

Is this guy insane?...i searched poop on google as a joke and it comes up with some guy that belongs in an asylum talking about "pooping for peace" yeah lets just take a big dump and here we go, world peace. You think taking a big ass shit is going to stop wars? are you fucking crazy? what is wrong with you people? whats next? pee for power? Hemeroids for helping hunger? i dont get it. squeazing a huge brown stick from ur ass is gonna save the world.

Little Freddy Fecal Matter's picture

I've descovered this page, randomly, the day after poop for peace day 2007! nobody's been here for ages, i feel like an internet archeologist... what a cruel ploy fate has played on me.

anyways, i have the runs real bad today. i'll be dedicating my next inevitable spray in the name of freedom!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I see you all enjoy poop as much as I do....you are all a bunch of mad crappers!!!

Star's picture

To bad I didn't know about this in 2005 huh.
Not to worry though I am still pooping for peace!!

Kottner's picture

This idea is full of crap... I like it!

LJ's picture

Finally, a worthy cause I can really put my backside into!
I will start recruiting donations of fiber and toilet paper to make this day truly bowel moving!

Let us also take this moment to reflect on the virtues of recycling.

TJ's picture

Man, this sucks! I've been holding it since Tuesday, and I just couldn't do it anymore! I didn't even push, it just slowly slid out. Oh well, there's always next year, plus, it's April 15 somewhere!

Viggo's picture

Im gunna shit to make the world a better place!!! Rock on Sk8ers!!!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Good news! My new vitamin regimen has given me temporary diarrhea! I can poop for peace this year!!! Yee-haw!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

kat's picture

I'm in favor of a Beday. Toliet paper just smears. Also, Baby Wipes are nice and sweet smelling!

Casey's picture

People who poop for peace are the shit!!!

Steven Guevara Mohammad Ismail's picture

World peace starts one flush at a time.
I pledge to do my part!

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

(Turd Hugegrunt is referring to the new PFP Gallery on the front page of the site. I hope those with photoshop skillzzzz can submit some more!)

Turd Hugegrunt's picture

Dung Daddy: I love those orange chairs in your lobby. We have four just like'm (only without the tacky, clear packing tape to patch the holes you burned in them lightin' farts, dude). We also have four blue ones to clash with the orange ones. They are so retro-70s! Hey, I think I'll go light farts for peace in preparation for CRAPSTOCK 2005.

Turd Hugegrunt's picture

I'm eatin' 5 pounds of cooked cabbage and 2 quarts pickled beets Thursday night. I will be extrudin' massive, gaseous, blood red POOPS for PEACE at 10:00 am PST, Friday, April 15, 2005. This is gonna go down in history as CRAPSTOCK!!!

Nicky's picture

this site brings a tear to my eye.
a tear of joy, that is.
I'm more than willing to poop for peace, in fact, i'll advertise.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

My wife and I are gonna poop for peace. Well get our 5 and 7 year old to tell EVERYONE at their school to poop to.
im gonna drink a bottle of blue food dye the night before. it will be swell. ill make my wife drink a red one.

Jer Bush's picture

I will create a grand form of brown modern art in my pants april 15th and carry it around all day (movies, mall, confessional) in hopes that others will realize this and truly understand.

angry meat eating white man's picture

a pooptastic, pooparrific poopathon for world peace! genius!! count my sphincter action in!!!

evil midnight bomber's picture

im there bruthas and sistas......a mighty log to the world!!!!!!

josie's picture

Just makes ya misty, doesn't it....all this pooping and brotherhood and harmony....
Never will a collective dump be more meaningful!

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I will poop for peace. Maybe I'll even poop my pants for peace.

Ms. Kiralicious's picture

I'll be there, you can count on me!

Crash's picture

PooP!! less than 4 days left...I can't wait to poop for peace

Lauren's picture

This is literally amazing that people can come together due to such a strange and peculiar deed. Of course that deed of pooping is for a greater cause than we all originally thought. Never in a million years did I think I would say on tax day, 6 days before my birthday, "Don't be gay, poop today!" I hope for world peace.

Belit's picture

Great idea! Crapping for peace! I never gave lowly poop much thought, but from now on it will take a special meaning knowing that I am contributing to world peace! Yes, poop with purpose!

Sam's picture

i poo everyday. whats the difference?

deepfat's picture

As Gandhi kind of said, "We must shit the peace we wish to see in the world!" Profound words indeed. Let us defecate our way to peace!!!

Poopergal's picture

My sphincter will be in overdrive on April 15, that is my promise. I have the recipe for Exlax Brownies if anyone needs some help delivering the goods on cue.

Poopedem's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I will also participate in pooping for peace. I will tell everyone I know that it is their "DUTY".

The Amazing Anus's picture

Count me in Dave, Poop for peace is an amazing thing, I love the idea!

Duke E. Mann's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

How fitting...I had just returned to my desk after a huge dump and I saw that while I was away I received an email. It was from PoopReport, talking about Poop For Peace day. It should go without saying that I will participate.

lemotdit's picture

I'll ask my boss a special poop break to celebrate this peace day.

groovemongrel's picture

Fuck you people. I'm going to take a smelly shit right now.

groovemongrel's picture

I'm going to poop at least four times on Friday. I always get drunk on Thurday and poop like crazy on Friday. Good times.

Brendan Samples's picture

spread by word of mouth and hurry its almost here!!!!!!

Brendan Samples's picture

you can count me in here at paris, texas.

Emmi's picture

I'll do anything for peace! One peace oriented poop coming up.

Haleigh's picture

ive just heard of it but its a great idea and everyone should take a big long crap april 15

Tough Customer's picture

Math the Band is in. So this poochoo train is officially in motion.

Avrenim's picture

I am also a representative of Westford, MA along with Minerva, and we will be ready, you should be too!

Minerva Again's picture

We've got a diet planned out. If only it was a weekend. Here's the diet: Raisin Bran, Taco Bell, Milk, Cheese, KFC, and the big guns, Saltines. We will be fully equipped with Laxatives and Cherry Coke.

Minerva's picture

I represent the Westford, MA chapter of Poop for Peace! Poop or Die!

ali pudding's picture

i have been pooping for years and will continue for mant more

Smellie Mellie's picture

A wise man once said "It all comes back to poo"

deronde's picture

I'll smear the word all over the walls of the internet!

Sam Cornwall's picture

"He Just Say Come Off The Ground?"
(OLD PEA FART) oops, i just farted.
Puuuuuuu, poo! My bum smells of Old Horse Poo and my white knickers smells of Farm Poo and my feet smells of Cheesy Smelly White Socks and Strong Cheese.

Porcelain macchiato's picture

What would the day be without a little staining of the bowl? Who among us has not felt the pleasure and pain of the dreaded poocano and party butt? Let ye cast the first turd!

growing-a-tail's picture

I poop for my own peace every day and have no enemies. It really works.

Terrance's picture

After feeling under the weather the entire day, I (quite suddenly) felt a significant and dire urge. Thank goodness I was at home, and near an open commode.

Only several minutes later, I felt as if somehow reborn into the day. I truly felt at peace, inside and out, all due to a magnificent dump.

I will gladly partake in the PFP, and pray that the Democrats stop wallowing in their own shit, and Republicans either shit or get off the pot.

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