Poop For Peace 2005: Introduction
The east hates the west. The Christians hate the Muslims. The liberals hate the conservatives. The Sunnis hate the Shiites. All across the globe, the chasm dividing humanity is ever deeper. In all the world's wars against terror, the distinction of who is perpetrating which depends on what side you ask -- so divided are we as a species that we can't even agree why we're killing each other.
For there to be peace, there must be understanding. For there to be understanding, there must be a common ground. But the further the chasm deepens, the more fundamental to basic human nature the common ground has to be.
And so April 15 is Poop For Peace Day.
Poop is the one experience all human beings have in common. We may have varying ideas of God and politics, but the power of an impending poop is a higher calling to which every human must answer. Side by side in a public bathroom, any two human beings are stripped of their differences and reduced to their most basic essence: a pair of feet sticking out below the stall, and a pair of butt trumpets performing a greasy symphony to lament humanity's non-negotiable deference to the call of the vile.
Under the influence of Taco Bell, there is no Christian or Muslim or Jew. There are only human bodies, reacting to the complications of digestion in the same predictable and malodorous ways. Poop wields supreme power over our bodies -- when poop calls, you answer, or you face the consequences. Poop is our cruel tyrant, our fickle deity, our omnipotent oppressor -- it is a force to which every human being has no choice but to submit.
And recognizing this is the first step toward world peace.
Poop For Peace Day is not a day of protest. Pooping for peace is not a left-wing or right-wing activity. Pooping for peace is an act of unity. It's not about religion or politics. Rather, it's about the simple truth: underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires. To poop for peace is to transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human. Only from starting at such a fundamental truism can we hope to expand our understandings and solve our differences.
On April 15, take some time to think when you take your time to stink. Think of yourself on your toilet, and George W. Bush on his, and Saddam and Osama on theirs. Think about the children of Iraq and the children of America, and realize that while their skins are different colors and their gods have different names, their daily ritual is exactly the same. We all poop, which means we're all human, which means we're all brothers and sisters. Any other differences are arbitrary -- we are all united in the daily struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.
Submit your address for an email reminder when Poop For Peace Day 2007 rolls around.
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Thanks to Tristyn for the idea! From his diaper came my inspiration.
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Put up posters!
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The Final Wipe
has graciously offered a free sample to anyone Pooping For Peace! Email Anthony for information.
The Daily Download: 3/8/05
The Boston Pheonix: 3/24/05
Detroit MetroTimes: 4/6/05
Nashville Scene: 4/7/05
Riverfront Times: 4/13/05
Houston Press: 4/14/05
Get shirts, buttons, stickers and more at the Poop For Peace store!
About the Author
I am the founder, editor-in-chief, and dictator of PoopReport.com. I am also the author of Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product, published by Feral House. You can email me at dave {(at)} poopreport dot com.
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140 Comments on "Poop For Peace 2005: Introduction"
Count me in!
I pooped for peace in 2003 but I was constipated in 2004 so I peed for peace. This year I intend to drop a huge steamer if it takes all day!!!
I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!
this will be my first time participating in poop for peace, and i couldn't be more excited! i can only hope that my poop will bring us all one step closer to world peace.
i love poop.
I'm starting to tell friends and family. And I'm ready to support any way I can. If anyone would like some FREE Final Wipes for the cause, send us an e-mail and we'll send em out. finalwipe@lycos.com
Every day is 'Poop for Peace' day in my book. But to make April 15th a bit more special, I will have two large bran muffins and a strong coffee for breakfast. That should time it to a perfect mid-afternoon deposit staggering in size ans scope.
Anyone else planning on recovering their poo and having it preserved in lucite?
I love it! One small spelling error I noticed: "Rather, it's about the simple truth: underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires. To poop for peace is to transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human." Should read "our universal needs" shouldn't it?
peace,
core
I'll definitely squeeze a loaf off for peace! Heck, this bomb has never hurt anyone!
(To Charles Stevenson: The spelling is CORRECT! "underlying our religions and our politics ARE universal needs"... That's where they "ARE".)
{It's these arbitrary differences that this is all about! ... Talk about anal!...}
On April 15, I shall endeavor to bravely answer the calling of nature; and as I gaze upon the bland wall of my bathroom, my enlightened social responsibleness shall intertwine with that of all fellow peace poopers. May the lowliest of our needs bind us all as one species; may our prejudices be flushed along with our fecal wastes.
Fortunately PFP day follows Constipation Tuesday and Wednesday, and then on 14th, Drink as much lager as you can and have a hot curry Thursday. My calendar has 15th as Shit a Brick Friday, but I'm crossing that out and pooping for peace!
Ulysses here...we will poop for peace definitely...after we mail in our taxes and play a few late night hot dog too many drinks shows...one large poop for us, one small flush for world peace. Come say hi - www.UlyssesTheAlbum.com
April 15, totally poopin for peace. i dont understand how people can be uncomfortable with poop, especially guys not understanding and realizing the fact that girls poop and fart and everything just like them. Im going to poop in hopes that one day everyone will poop in harmony.
"I Have a dream..." just as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had on that fateful day all those years ago, that this April 15, will be a day of reckoning. Personally, I think all kids regardless of age, sex, disabilty, religion, or race, should be excused from school. Every little shit counts. I will also hit every buffet in town the day before and doo doo for diversity!
There`s a Mighty Wind a-comin, a shot heard `round the world. We`er all brothers on the pot as we let our poop unfurl. Our diets may be different, but it all comes out the same. Forget our different cultures, let`s light the sacred Blue Flame.Some of us might want to squat, some will want to sit, let`s stop our silly bickering and collectivley Give A Shit. A movement wide has got to come,from the North, South,West and East! Let`s All hold hands as we sit in the stall, and Poop In The Name Of Peace.
Kudos to the guys who came up with this idea because it certainly is very poetic and beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye it does. I find it difficult to poop usually but I promise to try my damndest for the 15th of April. Ingesting a stack of banana's on the 14th might do the trick...
May the poop be with you
I intend to raise the bar, to push the limits, to go above and beyond. I pledge to poop for peace every day (and sometimes more than once in a day)! It is the very least that I can do. Now, no prairie dogging, get that thang the heck out!
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