Two weeks before Christmas, the news hit: butt-print artist Stan Murmur had been suspended from his job as an art teacher pending a termination hearing. The issue: the sudden popularity among students at Monacan High School in Richmond, Virginia, of a four-year old clip of Murmur on Unscrewed with Martin Sargent in which Murmur -- clad only in a g-string and Groucho glasses -- gave a demonstration of how one makes butt art. Last week the hearing took place and a decision was reached: Murmur was fired.

PoopReporters have discussed the story and shared their outrage at length. Indeed, his story has been the talk of the Internet for weeks. One voice conspicuously missing, though, has been that of Murmur himself, who refused to talk to the media about the story.

Until now. I believe this is the first we've heard from Murmur since his termination eight days ago. Unless there's evidence to the contrary, this is a PoopReport world exclusive: an interview with Stan Murmur, butt print artist.

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PoopReport: Why were you fired? Not "because you paint with your butt" -- rather, what did the school board fear would happen if you were kept on?

Murmur: I was dismissed for conduct unbecoming of a teacher. I'm not sure what the School Board feared. The school system conducted an investigation in March of 2004 to make sure that I hadn't broken any of the school system's policies. In December of 2006 the school system's spokesperson told Fox that I had been placed on administrative leave because of the way I do my art. The School Board Chairman told a local paper that it was such a unique situation that the board wanted to make sure that there was no connection between my site and the school system or whether any of the school system's policies had been broken.

Wait, so the school board knew about your art as of almost three years ago? And they didn't fire you then?

I don't want to speculate as to what the School Board knew. My principal officially informed Human Resources that I ran a website of "questionable nature and material" on March 3, 2004. She claimed that the site had been brought to her attention by a source that would remain nameless. The material was my artwork and the questionable nature was a few of the disguised photos. She told me that my performance as a teacher was excellent and that she would write a letter of recommendation if I chose to resign. I was then told that if I didn't resign, I would be subject to an investigation by school system officials that would ultimately result in my termination. I asked if I could sleep on a decision. She said that it had to be made before I left her office. I chose the investigation.

My school computer was taken for two days, and a week later a school official conducted an interview. I was asked about the Stan Murmur character invention, my media appearances, the process I used to create anthropometric monotypes, and if any school equipment had been used to create my personal art. I was then asked if I would be willing to take three of the disguised photos off of my site. I complied and removed the ATF agent, the western girl, and the Hooters girl photos. On April 2, 2004 I received a letter stating that a site linked to me had not been referenced by me in any of my classes or with any students, that I had voluntary offered to remove the site, that no further action should be taken, and that my cooperation in this matter was appreciated.

I brought it to my Principal's attention that I had not offered to take down the site and told her that I had offered to take down three photographs. She informed me that the letter was already in my folder at Human Resources and in my folder at the school. The letter I received was my copy. I asked her if "no further action should be taken" meant that no further actions were going to take place. Her response was that someone must have checked with their lawyers.

That implies that they fired you this time not because of your art but because of the media attention -- that's the only difference between then and now.

The media attention over this controversy was sparked by my suspension. My suspension was because of the way I "do my art." One of the local stations left a phone message stating that students had contacted them about the schools "unfair treatment of one of their teachers." The difference between then and now is that a new principal came into our school last year, and four months ago a new superintendent.

What happened during the school board deliberations? Were you interviewed like in a trial, or did they just decide your fate behind closed doors?

A trial-styled hearing was conducted on January 9, 2007, behind closed doors. I was present for the trial portion. Jason Anthony, the attorney that represented me, was asked to accompany me outside. The School Board, superintendent, assistant superintendent, my school's principal, and the school system's attorney decided my fate behind closed doors. News crews were invited into the room and we we're invited back. In a unanimous voice vote, the School Board announced that I was dismissed from my position as a teacher in Chesterfield County Public Schools for "conduct unbecoming of a teacher in this system."

Were you allowed to speak in your own defense?

Allowed, yes. But I had hired an attorney.

And what is your defense? When people say that you, a teacher, shouldn't be known by your students for painting with your butt and your wang, how do you respond? To play the devil's advocate -- how is your work *not* not appropriate?

I've done nothing illegal and don't have a defense. I hired an attorney because the school system had one. I agree with people that say I shouldn't be known by students for painting with my butt and wang. I shouldn't. I was in the military. I'm not known as the guy that ran around with a machine gun. David Duchovny's a highly proficient actor. He's been in children's movies and also creates monotypes using his butt. He's done nothing wrong. I appeared on a television show in 2003 that got a TV-14 rating and that's conduct unbecoming of a teacher.

Did school board members see any humor in the situation? Did they appreciate the art? Were they at all understanding?

The School Board did not indicate that they saw any humor in the situation, or if they appreciated the art. I don't want to speculate as to their level of understanding.

Do *you* see any humor in this situation?

No. I am outraged by this situation.

What did students say? Parents? Other teachers? Did people actually think that, in an age when kids watch South Park and post their boobs on Myspace, that *you* were a threat to their kids?

The school administration gave copies of emails to WRIC 8 News after the suspension. The emails were from parents and students. All of them were in support of me keeping my position as a schoolteacher. My inbox and phone have been filled with similar messages. The messages sent to Buttprintart.com overwhelmingly disagree with the school board's decision. The media interviewed people that support and condemn the school system's actions.

What do the emails against you say? Who is sending them?

So far I've received over a thousand emails related to the suspension and/or termination. Two emails from the US support the school officials decision, one from the US thinks I'm "an idiot," and there was one from Germany cursing me out in English.

The school board doesn't care about public opinion. Are these elected officials? Shouldn't they have to answer to the students?

The school board is made up of elected officials. Last years Citizen's Satisfaction Survey gave the Chesterfield County Public School Board a grade of 56. The school system released that it had problems "getting citizens' views and opinions before making major decisions that affect the direction of the school system" to the press.

Did the controversy help sell art?

The controversy has both helped and hurt the sales of my artwork. Before this my clients had more control over the finished product and I had time more time to consult and send progress photos. Now the atmosphere is less relaxed. The past seven weeks have led to a factory-like environment. I'm very pleased that more people are interested in my work. I'm just worried that I won't be able to keep up with demand.

What now? Are you going to sue? Are you going to continue teaching? Are you going to move?

My future is so uncertain right now. The dismissal has led to quite a few offers for legal representation and the teaching positions offered are out of area. My community was supportive before, during, and after this controversy. I really don't want to leave.

No hope for appeal within the school system, I take it. So if you're going to fight it, it's got to be through the courts?

Not going to let me dodge the suing question? It will be through the courts.

You've become a media figure. Twice you've been the big thing in "odd news." How does this make you feel? What's it like to know that literally the whole Internet is talking about you?

I'm not comfortable with it. I was completely content producing artwork, under a pseudonym, as a side business, and I very much enjoyed teaching.

What do you think about the coverage of the story? Fair? Truthful? Did they get the facts right? Did they blow things out of proportion?

I'm not happy with the news crew that showed up at my house. I thought that a little aggressive for an "odd news" story. They did get some facts wrong, but I think they did a good job with the information they had. The school system's story kept changing, and I didn't return any media calls.

Dave, I really appreciate the support that I've gotten from you and your readers. Thank them for me.