Can't discuss too much about writing on bathroom walls. I was never an artist, just as wiseass who added my own cracks (ha ha) to already active conversations.
Author: "Men are great." Me: "Especially with a little mustard."
Me: "Attention to all who enter. This lavatory has been farted in numerous times, and if you wish to avoid fart stank, please refrain from touching the toilet handle, door handle, paper towel dispense, sinks..."
Author: "Tanisha is a bich." Me: "Have you ever seen the South Park movie?"
Author: "When yer shuving those tampons, think of my fart dick!" Me: "Your dick farts? You should really see a doctor about that!"
But no, I can't say that I ever wrote anything artistic on the bathroom wall. However, there was this one girl who used to write poems. _______Born right the first time.
In the Law Faculty mens' toilets at Oxford, there's a bewildering array of graffiti, including references to Michel Foucault and arguments about U.S. foreign policy. Coupled with something along the lines of "Lonely Bosnian Serb seeks girl for brief, loveless sex and possible Ahmed's." [Ahmed's is a kebab van in Oxford.] Bizarre.
Those who write on shithouse walls can be quite philosophical,the add-on is the height of the art. My favorite was found on a wall at Danang, Vietnam during the war.
Someone wrote; FUCK VIETNAM.
To this was added: JUST FUCK THE WOMEN.
A further add-on stated: HALF OF THEM HAVE VD AND THE OTHER HALF HAVE TB.
To this a philosophical wit added: JUST FUCK THE ONES THAT COUGH.
_______Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
Travelling as much as I do each year, I've had the opportunity to use a lot of facilities on the road. I find that most graffiti falls into five categories: racial, sexual, religious, humorous and political. The first three are the most prevalent, although political will probably pick up speed as the election gets closer. I'll give an actual observed example of each category, and be forewarned that these are not my thoughts but copied.
Example of racial: (FUCK ALL NIGGERS!)
Example of sexual: (BLOW JOB--ROOM 23 HOLIDAY INN--4/12/08--8PM--CURTAIN LEFT OPEN.)
Example of religious: (JESUS SAVES--YE MUST BE BORN AGAIN.)
Example of humorous below the religious comment above: (HE DAMN WELL BETTER SAVE IN THIS ECONOMY.)
Example of political: (HILLARY HAS A BIGGER DICK THAN BILL.)
I think this has been done before, but there's a market for a book on actual graffiti in all categories.
Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!
it has been several years since I have written on a bathroom wall.
I still enjoy reading the stuff on the walls in a public bathroom; especially at bars when I am drunk.
The most written statement if prob.... "if you reading this you are probably peeing on yourself".
I used to go to the same places several times a year, and I liked to write a poll or survey on the wall and read the replies whenever I returned. One time I was bored and drew a square with the heading "wipe boogers here". I forgot all about it and when I returned to the same bathroom about a year later I wanted to vomit.
Wiper - there`s already a book out on this:
The Little Book of Toilet Graffiti by Joseph Gelfer.
Probably there are a few more as well.
Graffiti is as old as mankinds ability to express his/herself in writing. I can only imagine what emotions some of this ancient shithouse writing must have expressed.
Perhaps:
Pharoh sucks ass.
For a good time visit Cleopatra at the temple.
Cicero eats shit.
Socrates eats hemlock.
Diogenes is a square.
Goliath is a wuss.
Then there was the middle ages:
Forsooth varlet, Little John waitest for thee at Notingham.
Meetest me in Sherwood forest for a goodly tyme.
Well...you get the idea.
I guess this is an assignment Dave has given us. Homework. OK, here goes.
The assumption of this message seems to be that an expression proffered for neither acclaim nor monetary reward is art (let’s leave the “pure” claim alone for the moment).
Well, most of what I express is neither for acclaim nor monetary reward. I’m thinking here of most all of the communication between my wife and me. Is it art? My wife will tell you, "Certainly not."
So is it the fact that the expression written on the bathroom wall is intended for public consumption and reaction that makes it art? Well, no. “Call 234-6558 for a great blow job” is not art if what the author really wants is to give head.
I will agree that much of what I see on bathroom walls is art, and better than much of what I see on museum walls. But what makes it art is beyond my ability to nail down. In short, I don’t agree with the claim. I would say, however, that the claim itself is art, assuming it was written on a bathroom wall.
Defining art is as difficult as saying what is funny. A young person slips on a banana peel and loses their dignity, could be funny. An old person slips on a banana peel, fractures their hip and dies in the hospital, definitly not funny.
If I were to attempt to define art I would say; something that is either pleasant to look at, profound, or very thought provoking. Even though I started college as an art major I am not sure what it is.
On the topic of the Law Faculty toilet cubicle I told you about earlier, I went in there earlier today and it's been repainted. All the graffiti is gone. :-(
Logjam, I'm sure it's just an honest mistake that you put Bilge's phone number in your post.
Well I'll be damned, Prarie. I thought the number had a familiar ring to it, but I swear it just came right off the top of me head, um, tip of me tongue, er, whatever. (Bilge, you owe me big time for the free product endorsement.)
I work in Maintence and I have seen it all. I would like to make those whi write on walls clean it off,as punishment. Because it it very hard to remove from stall walls .
Yeah, and while we're at it, let's get whoever spray painted the porno on the ceiling and walls of the Sistine chapel to clean it up.
I don't know that I'd agree with the idea of 'purest form of art', but I'd have to say that in a large company (like the one I work for) with many shithouses, spread all over the city, the humble dunny wall is a place to communicate with other employees. Apart from the usual 'Joe Bloggs is a dickhead', the messages can sometimes brighten up an otherwise boring or stressful day. The walls can provide an arena for a public slanging-match between two or more employees, to see how cleverly and wittily they can slag-off each other. Not unlike the humorous postings by pd,Bilge, LJ et al.
This has been the best day of my life, I have gotten so many calls from chicks offering to do strange and exotic things to parts of my anatomy I had virtually forgotten about!!! I owe you very big time, LJ!!! _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
On the other hand, I've gotten some very strange and offensive calls from guys asking if I would strange and exotic things to them. one left me a voice mail, and sounded suspiciously like Prarie Doggin...Jersey accent and all. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Generally I despise stall writers. Its not art, just malicious destruction of property.
Saw one thing that almost made me roll though one time:
"Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit and only farted."
I think college graffiti is the best. When I think back to my days at old MU (Marquette University) I think back to our wonderful bathroom friend the Moleman and of course his home on Goose Island. And of course the fact that Marquette was in Wisconsin led to another crapper character called Mr. Cheesehead. Those of you not familiar with him would soon be as the arrows pointed to familiar parts of this body the Cheetoes and his cheese balls and of COURSE when he went to the mens room it was to take a cheese whizzz. OMG I am splitting my sides laughing here. Then there was the song quotes I think most MU students loved Peter Gabriel and the line Grab Your Things I've Come to Take You home. I would say it was slightly snooty bathroom humor. I guess a collegiate crapper should be taken to a much higher level._______The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!
What was that song... Jenny I got your number How do I make you mine... 867-5309
Some gems I've seen:
"Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand."
(Seen in a bathroom stall on Univ. of Oklahoma Campus.) "Flush twice its a long way way to Austin"
"Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to poop but only farted. Later on I took a chance tried to fart and crapped my pants."
"Some came here to shit and think, I came here to shit and stink"
I think I posted this on a previous restroom graffiti thread, but I'm too damn old and lazy to look for it: Folks who write on shit house walls roll their shit in little balls folks who read those words of wit eat those little balls of shit.
Yeah yeah, I know, its as old as dirt, but still one of the better ones I've actually seen. _______ The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
In a stall someone writes: "For a good time call April 635-9832" Is the writer an artist? Probably not. Someone else latter adds: "Did you get crabs too?" Then later on another scribbles over the old saying: "the sink is low and the soap smells funny." (urinal) After a while the whole bathroom is cloaked in a shroud of overlapping witticisms. The final product can take on the appearance of art in a collective sense, but does that make each individual contributer an artist? Hard to say. If the writer means to be artistic then yes, but some art is accidental and grows independent of the contributers intentions.
I saw the complete version of one of the above:
"some come here to sit and think, some come here to shit and stink, but I come here to scratch my balls, and read the writing on the walls"
Good friend of mine who is a runner saw this one on a morning run in a port-a-john in Tampa, FL: Here I sit cheeks a flexin', just gave birth to a ten pound Mexican.
With respect to those "toilet seat protectors"
I was minding my own business one day when I heard a dad explain to his son that he needed to use a butt-gasket.
On another day, I was minding my own business when I looked on the wall next to the toilet seat protector dispenser and saw a handwritten note that said "Cowboy Hat, FREE, Take One."
Perhaps, at a certain Minneapolis airport bathroom stall there could be a note... "Here I sit with toes a tappin tried to crap but it did not happen."
Aussie versions: "Some come here to sit and think, some come here to wonder; I come here to shit and stink, and fart like rolling thunder"
"Some come here to sit and think, some come here to shit and stink; But blow me down and strike me pink, the wogs come here to eat and drink"
"Best way to drown a wog- Wait til he's having a drink, then flush"
"How to save an Arab from drowning- take your foot off the back of his head"
-Authors unknown.
My favorite poem from a stall wall:
When I was young and had no sense, I touched my dick to an electric fence. It curled my hair and fried my balls, and made me shit my overalls.
The most amusing one I have ever seen was on the back wall of a portaloo at a music festival, written in the authors own chunky brown crayon. "Maybe it's because i'm a Londoner?", alongside a smeary palm print, a rudimentary signature perhaps?
I wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but i'm pretty sure it wasn't art...
Sounds like we need some new ones:
"This may sound like a real tall tale, But once I pissed on a live 3rd rail. It made me twitch. It made me dance. And leave a burnt brown dookie in my underpants."
Scratched into side of condom-dispensing machine:
"Worst chewy I ever tasted".
I think my all time favorite was written on the inside of the stall door. It said, "let's play toilet tennis, look to your left." After looking left, on the wall was written, "look to your right." Needless to say, on the right wall was written, "look to your left." I had to chuckle.
I work in Maintenance, and I have seen it all. I would like to catch the little bastards that write on walls and make them clean it off. It does take a lot of work to remove writing from walls
Wiper, I think there's another category on bathroom wall writings - juvenile rantings. You know the ones, "I LUV ARNELL" and then a few days later "fuk u bitch arnell's mine" This usually will be followed by "I'LL KICK UR ASS. WHO R U?" to be immediately replied with "you dum bitch, if you don't know who she is, how will you kick her ass???" And so on. These are my favorite.
I just wrote on a bathroom wall not 2 days ago. Just for this reason, I carry a midget Sharpie (that seconds as a keychain because it's got a little ring on it). Sometimes I'll see a gem like the examples above, and the urge to stir up a little trouble in irresistible. It's fun to visit the same bathroom stall to watch the progression of the flame war, and to see who joins in, and how long it lasts before it's washed off.
Incidentally, I loved writing on the walls in junior high. I used to draw odies all over the place.
_______.....hugging bunnies since 1969 www.daphneszoo.com
Many yeas ago, when I was getting divorced, I wrote on the wall. "For a good time, call Penny" and her number. She called me later, and thanked me!
I have also seen a recent trend in writing on toilet paper and hanging it up somewhere that people can see it. Most of these are political statements, like the few sheets of paper that say, "Wipe for Bush", or make various comments about the economy and the oil industry. It's a really odd trend, but it saves bathroom walls that some of the above janitors complain about. _______Born right the first time.
"Wipe for Bush"?!
I don't think political comments should be considered vandalism, anyway. Rather, raising awareness of political issues is a public service, even if done via the medium of defacing toilet cubicles. (Particularly with the current importance of ensuring that Obama does not become President. We're all screwed if he does.)
Several years ago when I was a shift supervisor in a metals service center, I loved to write on the bathroom walls. One of the other supervisors was a self-important, ass kissing bastard whom I could not stand, so I drew caricatures of him on the wall whenever I went to the crapper.
This guy looked like he stepped straight out of a 70's porno, with his bushy mustache, shaggy hair, and shirt unbuttoned low enough to show off his gold chains with the medallions half hidden in his chest hair. He was perfect for artistic poke-funnery. I drew his picture a lot. So much so, that each new drawing captured the attention of the entire shop and caused all sorts of speculation about who was doing them.
Periodically the maintenance staff would paint over the graffiti in the stalls, giving me a fresh canvas to begin anew.
Goodonya, AD!!! Long ago, I worked with a bloke who stood out from the crowd by his amazing propensity for bullshit. This guy had been there, done that, bigger and better than the rest of us. The best part though, was that he had a head that looked like Roger Ramjet, so he was great fun to draw on toilet walls. It was so easy to draw a cock'n'balls with little arms and legs, with Ramjet's head on top. He blamed me for every single one, but in truth, there were a number of us doing it.
I think he still hates me.
I don't think I've laughed this hard in a long time.
Three instances come to mind, none of which are particularly funny, but all of which have stuck with me. The first event occurred when I was attending the local community college. There had recently been a series of articles in the local newspaper about the Vietnamese immigrant community's achievements, especially a full-page article about their commitment to education. Shortly, thereafter, somebody penned in one of the stalls in the Math & Science building:
"Vietnamese students are much better than American."
I couldn't help myself. I took the bait. I replied:
"While that may be so, in the end, your children will be more like me than they will like you."
The second instance, during the same time frame, occurred in one of the stalls in the English dept. right after mid-terms:
"Party at Gatsby's house. Everybody's coming."
The last occurred a couple of years later and, while it makes no sense whatsoever, still has my mind boggled. A friend and I were drinking at this dart bar in the little, hick town that I grew up in. This town is located about as far as one could ever hope to get away from an institution of higher learning. I'm standing there at the urinal unburdening myself when I notice just above the pipework:
"Hester Prynne"
Nothing else. No "For a good time call" comments. No "The original Pillory Clinton". No "Who's your daddy?" Nothing. Nada. Zip.
Through the beer goggles, I was't been able to make sense of it. Was I really that drunk that I missed the joke? How could standing there with schlong in hand possibly be related to Nathaniel Hawthorne's work? Was it the name of some arcane, one-hit-wonder band, of whom I had never heard? Arrggghhh!
I wrote beneath it the only thing I could think of at the time:
"A"
It was lame. I knew it. But I was drunk and was easily distracted by other things.
I went back to my stool and resumed drinking with my friend. Shortly thereafter, my bar buddy went to relieve himself. When he came back he mentioned both of the comments on the wall and how surprised he was that anyone who would inhabit this bar could be so well read. So, we had a nice conversation about the "The Scarlet Letter". I was profoundly amazed to find out that he had read the book since (1) his idea about art leaned towards Def Lepard as loud as possible and (2) he was in this rank beer bar, in this podunk town, tying one on.
15 years have since passed and I'm still trying to figure out what the dumass who wrote this was trying to say. Hopefully, I'm not the only fool that's been perplexed by this for so long, although I suspect that I probably am._______My special needs kid crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.
Ive always been bemused by the writing on the library stalls. Its so disgustinly SAPPY for the medium... "You're beautiful!" "so are you!" "thankyou" Flower, etc. and of course the ever-present disscussions of birth control ;)
Though i really should see what the shitter-less stall has for grafiti one day...
AC3, I used to observe the same problem at the library stalls in my college. It's like everyone came into the bathroom high on pot (which they probably had, judging from the suspicious perfume in there). I had particular fun adding a little bit of ugly to their "pretty" commentary, such as a dog bent over pooping on their smiley face flowers. (I guess that kind of makes me like the Blue Meanies from Yellow Submarine, which have always been my heroes.) _______Born right the first time.
I saw a note on a wall that simply said, "makin' Texans." I just thought that was darn funny.
Here I sit cheeks a flex'n Giving birth to another Texan
What is it with Texans?
Theres an old joke about the tall Texan that died, and they didn't have a coffin big enough, so they gave him an enema, and then buried him in a shoe box...
Oldest joke in the book (though not written on the wall): Two Texans were pissing off a bridge.
"Dayam", remarked the first. "This water's cold!"
"Deep too", added the second.
Just goes to show, everything's bigger in Texas. _______Born right the first time.
TSV, there was one I heard on the subject of "everythings bigger". It goes a bit like this. Guy from Jersey visits Texas and is bombarded by that phrase. He goes to a bbq and after downing several "bigger" beers has to go to bathroom. On the way he gets lost and falls into a pool. He is floundering about and a Texan yells "are you ok". He yells back "I'm ok, just don't flush it".
Hey Chiefthunderbutt, I laughed so hard when i read this one that I started crying and choked on my own spit. Good work!
"Graffiti is as old as mankinds ability to express his/herself in writing. I can only imagine what emotions some of this ancient shithouse writing must have expressed.
Well...you get the idea"
There are plenty of bars and music venues in my small town who either encourage writing on the walls or do not wipe the marks off. Most of the stuff written on the walls is interesting: quotes, poems, political statements. The other stuff is the lame stuff you see in every public bathroom. But is it art? I don't know.
. At the lowest point on the door, in letters so small you need to lean foward.
"You are now shitting at 45 degrees"
saw this at a supermarket once: flush twice, its a long way to the deli!
I enjoyed the comment stenciled on the walls above the urinals in the public restrooms of the 1974 World Fair in Spokane WA: "Please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinals. It makes them soggy and hard to light..."
A funny poem:
Here I sit all brokenhearted, Came to shit, but only farted! Then one day I took a chance, Tried to fart, but shit in my pants!
I once saw: "I *heart* James". It couldn't have been a day old at the time. I happened to know who it was that wrote this and I heard of 'her' James, so I carved right next to it "not gonna last".
They broke up less than a week later and the writing was painted over soon after. My carving, though lives on.
At my college, we had 3 frat houses, and all of them had attitudes of "We're Gods. Worship us, you low-life peasants, 'cause you'll never be one of us." In the crapper outside of the cafeteria, I scrawled "Does (SigmaPi/TauKappaEpsilon/ThetaChi)spell 'Asshole' in Greek?" A few days later, someone else wrote "Yes!!!" _______You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
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