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 The Great Poop Sync Of '06Posted 04.03.2006 by AssBlaster2000 (1117)
About four years ago, some of us on PoopReport pondered an interesting quandary: if two people eat the same, will they poop the same? To find out, it was decided that Dave and I would need to try it and see for ourselves. For three days, we ate exactly the same diet. Unfortunately, we did not poop the same poop. Dave's poops remained plentiful, whereas mine remained at the slow pace of one per day.
A few months ago, while reminiscing about the Poop Sync so long ago, Dave and I decided it was time to pass the torch to a new generation of PoopReporters. We already knew our own results -- but were we typical poopers? Perhaps one of us possessed an abnormal butt. Would two other poopers be able to sync their poops? Two dedicated PoopReporters -- The Shit Volcano and Cracktacular -- volunteered to find out. For three days, each adhered to the same diet, as listed below.
Both Cracktacular and The Shit Volcano are healthy adults in their mid-twenties (according to their PoopReport profiles, anyway). Nevertheless, although they ate the same for three days, Mr. Cracktacular and Ms. Volcano had very different results. Ms. Volcano is expecting her first child, whom she refers to as Gordon, which was probably a factor during this experiment. Exactly how her state would affect the experiment we did not know -- but quickly into the experiment it became clear that The Shit Volcano's output volume was drastically reduced. From the mouth of the Volcano herself: I found my experience with the Poop Sync very disappointing. My last shit was twenty-four hours before the Poop Sync began. It was one of those poops with the little marble-hard pellets, and there weren't very many of them. I'd hoped that this change in diet for a few days would bring spectacular results; but, alas, nothing.Mr. Cracktacular fared much better than Ms. Volcano. On the modest diet, his output was quite considerable. This experiment was conducted almost two months ago, on Valentine's Day, and poor Cracktacular had the misfortune of a breakup during the Poop Sync, which I am hoping was unrelated. However, his anal output was prodigious the entire time. Here is how he documents it: Allow me to begin by saying that I went into this project with a great deal of enthusiasm. I have always loved pseudo-science, so Mr. Wizard and Bill Nye, while a little square, are cool in my book. Hopefully my blow-by-blow account will help further the knowledge of PoopReporters everywhere.So there we have it. Two people, one diet, and once again two different results. I find it most interesting that, just like last time, the male participant in the Poop Sync pooped more than the female. It leads me to wonder if men poop more frequently than women, even if they both eat the same food. It also leads me to wonder if Poop Syncing is something not achieved in three days, but rather over the course of several years of dietary synchronicity. Mr. Blaster and I have been cohabiting for about three years now, and eating a very similar diet, and I find that we both poop once per day on average. The size of his poops are larger, naturally, because he eats more; but our relative output is similar. However, both of us pooped the same before we lived together as afterward. I am inclined to speculate that we simply have similar (slow) metabolisms. My hypothesis is this: if we got two poopers of the same gender and similar body types, the results of the Poop Sync would be much more balanced. Do any poopers out there have any light to shed on this? Have you ever Poop Synced, either willfully or by accident? Do the members of your household poop similarly? These are questions which our pooping society here needs to explore in depth. Post new comment
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