Man shot over botched booty call and clogged toilet

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”My momma warned me about people like you.” I think we’ve all heard this before. In my house, my father warned me about different people, however, not my mother. He would see someone and say, “Now stay away from him. I know he wants to date you, but he’s got kids. You don’t know how complicated it can get to date someone with kids. The mother might be batshit crazy, like that ex-girlfriend of the surfer you were dating last year.”

If my dear dad was still around today, he would have read this article and told me to stay away from these people. Why? Because one shot the other over a clogged toilet, that’s why.

Down the road from where I live is the city of Lacey, Washington, situated right on top of our state’s capital, Olympia. This weekend in Lacey, two guys, one who owned a house and another renting a room from him, did what guys all over the place do: They picked up two girls from a bar and brought them home. According to the article, everyone was drunk:

”They drank quite a bit,” stated police officer Chris Mealy.

Since I have never heard a law enforcement officer quoted as saying “They were drunk as hell,” or “Man, those people were fucked up,” I took Mealy’s comment as meaning this quartet was downright sloppy drunk.

The problem started when one of the women did what drunken people do. When people are drunk, they have to use the bathroom. But when this woman went to the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. We do not know if she clogged the toilet from taking a giant crap, using too much toilet paper, or attempting to flush a feminine product, but we do know that the owner of the home got really freaking upset about it. How upset? He shot the guy renting the room, that’s how upset.

The details of the argument are rather clear. The women left after the toilet clogged, and the two men started fighting. The fight turned physical, and when the younger man, the one renting the room, got the upper hand in the fight, the owner pulled a hand gun out of his jeans and shot the renter. The younger man managed to get to the nearby hospital (Providence St. Pete’s, which has a great emergency room), and he is recovering. Whether or not the police or the victim are going to press charges remains undecided.

On the other hand, the details of the clogged toilet and they women’s leaving are rather vague. Not to fear; we’re Poopreporters, and we have a pretty good idea of what happened. We read between the lines very well. This probably wasn’t one of those clogs that can be cleaned up with a few towels and a bucket of Pine Sol. This clog probably was a doozie. The woman who clogged the toilet was probably so embarrassed about the incident that she had her girlfriend left, and then the two men involved realized they were not going to get laid. And when drunken people become drunken and sexually frustrated people, shit gets ugly.

I enjoyed some of the comments from the story. Marcus Woodson posted “Stay class Thurston County.” Bullet56 opined that booze is the devil, and the quartet should have just gotten stoned instead. Had the men “invited the girls to smoke out with them, they all would have fallen asleep early after the bag of chocolate chip cookies was gone.” And Reeb may have hit the nail on the head in a few areas. Reeb feels that “adult women should be toilet trained before accepting guest invitations. In other words, never flush sanitary products down the toilet.” Reeb also encouraged the guys in the room to make sure there was a trash can with a liner for lady people, in the instance that they might have to dispose of some of Aunt Flo’s dam stoppers.

We will never know what caused the clog, but what we do know is that clogged toilets and severe inebriation do not mix, because drunk people are in no shape to handle the shit water tide that results from backed-up plumbing.

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3 Comments on "Man shot over botched booty call and clogged toilet"

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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It's not that severe inebriation and clogged toilets don't mix; it's that severe inebriation and guns don't mix. What an Asshole.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Anonymous's picture
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So if the younger man had prevailed and hospitalized or killed the older man through brute physical force, you'd have no difficulty with it? That's the problem with beating on old guys--if they're too old to survive a serious fight and they know it, they'll probably just shoot you. America is really the wrong country in which to go about picking fights. Those interested in doing so should move to a location with restrictive gun laws, where the physically weak are at the mercy of the strong. Most people, admittedly not all, but most who get shot in this country had to work at it.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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It's not clear who started the fight, I would have thought that it would have been the homeowner, but that's just me.

In the end, though, it's not at all likely that fisticuffs would have resulted in anything worse than an ass-beating. Introducing a gun into the equation, however, raises the stakes significantly, and makes death a far more likely outcome.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.