Yo, Shitty, so you like droppin' da poops in da same stall? When the Markster be droppin' multiple dooks in the same day, he always chooses a different stall for each drizzop. The Markster's lucky, since his dope fly office building be having four stalls in each boom-boom room.

After I've dropped da poops in one stall, trust me, don't nobody else be wantin' any of that stall fo' the rest of the day. Not even me!

Stay off da pickles, dude. Markster out!

You mention "being concerned" about stray shit on your shirt and pants. Next time you mention your clothes, it's to change and dryclean them. Exactly how bad was the damage? We want details!

Pickle in, pickle out...

Hot Mama? Are we talking about pickled sausages or pickled cucumbers? I love to eat Tijuana Mama sausages, and I drink the juice, too.

This reminds me of the first scene of a movie called "Employee of the Month" starring Matt Dillon. Ever seen it? Rent it. For the first five minutes worth of one-liners about the bum next to him on the bus who has just shit his pants, it's worth at least $3.50.

Stay away from the Hot Mamas, Shitty Shitty. You're not the kid you once were!

Pickles are a great diet food, thats for sure. Along with air popped popcorn, pickles are one of the best diet munchies around.

Commode-O, when are you going to be back in the forums?

That poor toilet. You sure did abused that one bad. If it could talk, think what it would say about you. If I was that toilet, I would forever be scared just seeing you walk into the bathroom the next time. I would be afraid that I was going to have to go throught that torture by you again.

great story

Young friend:
You seem a little ashamed to admit that you are a toilet. You tell us how you would feel "if" you were a toilet... but i can see through your charade.
U R A TOILET. B PROUD DAMMIT!

Anytime I want a cleaning out its cooked onions. Cannot handle them. Last night I made a beef stew with pearl onions. Love em. When I say I can't handle them its fobidden if I have to do anything/go anywhere the next day. First the gas, and a few hours later some of the most satisfying shits I ever have. Wouldn't want to subject the public to it but theres nothing like a great cleaning induced by cooked pearl onions.

Wierd, Really Wierd

If I did admit it Shitass, what kind of abuse would I be subjected to? At times could I expect to get the same kind of abuse the guy above gave the toilet he used?

That would be a pretty rough life to live. I don't think very many guys would feel sorry for me either.

Wow, great story! I have heard of people being allergic to MSG..what is that? A food additive? From what I understand, nearly all restaurants have food with MSG in it, and will usually tell you if it doesn't have MSG in it. If that is true, that would explain the 'near death' experiences I have had after eating at McDonalds...much the same as our 'pickle-lover' friend! Yep, whenever I feel a little constipated, I take the kids to McDonalds for a little "Happy Meal!" And usually feel much better in the morning. Of course, it always gets worse before I feel better.

And perhaps save a little money on those overpriced laxatives....lol

Oh, by the way, young friend...you want to talk about abuse? Be sure to click on the "Fun with Feces" and then "The Longest Two Days" if you want to read about getting shit on!

Incidentally, I think toliets get a lot of respect...those porcelain gods are always there for you when you have been drinking too much! I have witnessed plenty of people with their arms wrapped around the toilet for 'support' and comfort in moments like this! Sure, they may not hold your hair back for you, but they do provide a nice cold place to rest your forehead!

I have a coworker whose name is--I kid you not--"Gordon Howard Strain," and naturally we all call him "Gee Howie Strains." Howie will get on these eating fresh fruit kicks, and you know what eating a lot of fresh fruit will do to your stools. When he sits, it is the most amazing cacaphony of watery, farty, wet, splashes you ever heard. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "thunderjug." Plus, he grunts and sighs and moans like a pig in the slop pen.

When he is on one of these diets, every time he heads to the head, we send out a Code Brown around the office, and as many of us as can discreetly fit in will follow him just to listen. Sometimes I take my hand-held dictaphone in there and record it for the benefit of the ladies.

P.S.--Over on the Forums, in a post under Poop Stories entitled "Most Embarassing Moments on Dates" (I think), I tell about the night Howie shit in his suit in a really upscale restaurant on his first date with the lady.

I'm sure that you have taken it easy on Hot Mama, sice this occured.

Instead of drinking the pickle brine, wouldn't you be better off buying a sports drink like Powerade of Gatorade to replace any lost salts?
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Hot Mama's pale in comparison to giant Hebrew National Kosher Dills. My local store used to carry them and I would clear them out (sometimes buying 10 or more at once)!Eventually they replaced them with Hot Mama's, but I don't particularly like them. Anyhow, just thought I'd drop a line because there aren't many people out there that TRULY appreciate a good pickle.

Pickle Lover, to you I recommend the movie, "Crossing Delancy". It's a dreadful movie in a lot of respects, but it does involve people who love pickles.

Haha man, awesome post.
Made me laugh big time.
Ima watch out for the Big Mama!

I will give away my age and tell you about pickles when I was young.
After school a friend would accompany me to the store next to our school when we had money.
Money was hard to come by in those days but if we had 5 cents (a fortune) we would buy a "nickel pickel" rather than a candy bar. My friend would drink the juice from both pickles.
I loved the pickle but didn't really care for the juice.
That was in the late 1940s, you can't buy much for 5 cents now!

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

The 5 cent pickles are long gone, but you can still make a dirt pickle for free.

Thanks for this story. Lately I have been putting pickels in my ceasar (bloody Mary) drinks. One night I had so many pickels I took six huge shits in the morning. Then I took two diareah pills before my walk. About a 1/4 mile away, not a toilet in sight, the rumble started. It was either going in my pants or on the sidewalk. There was a bridge with a column. Went behind there and barely got my pants down before the volcanic eruptions. I like pickles but I think I will be off them for quite some time.