poopreport : Poop at the Office :



Avoid The Stairs, And Bring Your Own Towel

Posted 10.21.2001 by Jon (32)

In 1997, my roomate and I both worked in a very nice hotel in Dallas, TX as room service attendants. We were both 19 and basically didn't care about much at the time.

I don't know how this theme got started, but the first really stupid thing my roommate did there was shit down the center (open space) of the stairwell in the 40 story tower of the hotel.

I was standing one story down to get a good view. I saw the log coming right out of his ass (yes, that was a first) and dropping right past me as it accelerated. As it fell, after about 10 stories it hit the rail on the side of the stairs and exploded into about 20 smaller peices... all those continued to hit rails as far down as I could see. No doubt this was a terrrible mess for the poor janitorial staff.

But that wasn't the end of his shit-vandalism. We had joked about dropping one down the laundry chute many times, but were never really serious about it. I mean, there were a lot of people at the bottom in the laundry room 24 hours a day... that would just be cruel.

So one day I'm going about my job delivering a burger to a guest on a weeknight. When the elevator door opens (it's a staff elevator and opens into a staff-only area where the chute is) there he is with his ass in the chute. I barely caught the end of it, but the elevator doors were open long enough for me to hear the screams of the people working in the laundry room echo up from below.

We passed by that room at about about 2 A.M. to see that it was completely deserted, and there were tiny shit specs from floor to ceiling all thoughout the room. It was ruthless, and we laughed for weeks. Quit the job about a month later.
-- Jon

Chip Brown (200) -- 10.21.2001

I once worked a summer job at a small hotel as a bellhop. One Friday night a frantic guest stopped me in the hallway and informed me that "someone left a BM in the swimming pool". Actually, this hotel advertised that it had 3 pools. One was a regular pool, another a kiddy pool, and the third was a whirlpool. It turns out that the shit was in the whirlpool. As I was posting a sign saying the whirlpool was closed for the night, another guest informed me of shit in the kiddy pool. As I investigated that shit I also spied a shit in the third pool as well. This was obviously a organized act of bioterrorism.

doniker (1555) -- 10.21.2001

awesome!!

jgaston (not verified) -- 12.26.2001

I was once working at Hickory Farms and decided to substitute a large turd in place of Summer Sausage. I did the deed, wrapped it up in cellophane, and proceeded to put it on display for a customer. Nobody bought it, however. I quit the job a week later.

Johnny Hotfarts (not verified) -- 12.26.2001

Hi-
I once was driving through Missouri on my way to Tuscaloosa, when I had a craving for a delicious Hickory Farms Summer Sausage. I stopped and purchased one. As I was absent-mindedly fiddling with the radio knobs, I opened the package and took a bite, only to find a half-decayed human turd that smelled like a rotten egg and tasted even worse.

J Gaston- I'm gonna track youdown and make you eat my Poo you sick SOB!

WOLFBAIT (not verified) -- 02.16.2002

Wonder why my towels smell so bad at the hotel.

Cornholio (not verified) -- 06.03.2002

Thanks man I just laughed by fucking ass off! I used to work in a hotel too. The only shit story I ever encountered was after a big party in one of the suites they found that someone had shit in the bathtub and wiped thier ass with the towels. We used to drop shit down the stairwells and the laundry chutes too. Two of the best were: a full set of really nice china dishes down the stairwell and a case of champagne down the laundry chute. The biggest kick in the world would have been to see the face of the poor asshole working in the laundry room.

Iron Ass (not verified) -- 11.29.2002

One time in a laundromat, I had a confrontation with a a rude bitch. She had just tossed her nice white and pink sheets into the dryer, set it for 30 minutes and then exited and drove off. So I went into the bathroom and took a hefty dump on a paper towel, ensured noone else was around and lifted my goodie and carried it over her dryer and tossed it in with her nice white and pink sheets, which will be a nicely cooked brown, yummie (unfortunately, there were no corn or peanuts) and then I left --- Bombs Away bitch!!!

DumpWatcher03 (not verified) -- 03.27.2003

I wish I could have been there to see the shit falling out of his asshole!

slim jim junkie (not verified) -- 05.15.2003

that is the funniest turd terror I ever read. Especially the Bombs Away BITCH Story!

madam shits alot (not verified) -- 06.28.2003

yes your friend:| sure i belive ya

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 02.06.2004

Ah ha ha ha ha!!!!! I wish I'd been there with a camera to film the laundry room's reaction!

sean (not verified) -- 03.19.2004

would lke to participate in your group

healthy 1 (1430) -- 01.27.2007

The poor janitor. Though this is a bit funny, it is also childish and disgusting.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Lame comment! -1 point
LeandraCullen (913) -- 07.31.2008

;D
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

ChiliKahKah (1224) -- 03.24.2009

I am sure that the karma god of poop will serve payback at the tight time

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