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Starting Over Shameless: The Interview

Posted 03.16.2004 by doniker (1517)
Hello, my name is Doniker. I am an alcoholic. I haven't taken a drink in -- oops, wrong website...

Hello, my name is Doniker. I am a Shameful Shitter. I hate shitting in public places. I would rather subject myself to hours of stomach and intestinal pain than relieve myself in a room that might possibly be cohabited by another human being.

Shitting at a place where I work has always been a problem for me. Having a co-worker witness me enter or exit a bathroom stall is a great fear of mine. I have always had envy for a guy that could walk into a bathroom full of people, enter a stall, drop his drawers, and noisily fart and shit as if it was as routine as breathing.

Since my wife has been after me to get off my ass and stop sitting around getting drunk all day, yesterday I went on a job interview.

It was a lame warehouse job in a company of about fifty employees. I arrived about a half-hour early with an urge to shit. Normally, I would have held it, but I was already a little tense, and holding it makes me feel uneasy as it is.

I found the men's room, a three-stall/two-urinal set-up. I jumped into the furthest stall from the entrance and sat down for a relaxing dump. But before I could even muster up my first fart, some guy walked in and got into a stall -- not the one next to me, but the one closest to the entrance. He immediately started to piss, and then I could tell that he let loose several turds from the sounds of the splashing. I just sat in silence, figuring I was going to be there for a while.

Sure, I might get this job, and it would be great to start fresh as a Shameless Shitter; but do I have it in me? What would people think of me? Would they be able to tell I was really Shameful and see right through my act? I mean, a Shameless Shitter should be shameless in other situations as well. I feel he must be an open, talkative-type person and not get easily embarrassed or intimidated. There has to be more to it than just being able to squeeze out a loaf with pride. Sure, shy and/or arrogant people can be Shameless Shitters, but there still is somewhat of an embarrassment factor because they are quiet, cocky, or won't look you in the eye.

So suddenly I began to smell the most horrendous odor. I don't know if this guy even knew I was there or even knew what a courtesy flush was; maybe enjoyed his own gross smells, or maybe he was trying to have fun by choking me out of the room. I had to put my shirt up over my nose to stop from gagging.

I had yet to get started with my business when some other joker enters the room. This guy screamed out, "What the fuck... it stinks it here!"

The culprit then said, "It's what's left from that rotten salad I ate yesterday. I got the shits forty-five minutes after I ate the goddamn thing."

Then the joker said, as he apparently used the urinal, "And you guys tell me I stink up the bathroom."

Within a minute, both guys were washed up and out of there.

Sitting on this most likely germ-infested porcelain throne for nothing, and feeling rather discouraged after having done absolutely nothing, I still wipe my ass due to force of habit; I throw the clean wad of paper in the toilet, wash my hands and exit the bathroom with a turd packed in my colon.

There were about seventy people interviewing for this crappy $8-an-hour job. Times are tough and the job market is really bad here in Northeastern Ohio. I probably won't get this job or ever become a Shameless Shitter. It takes the right personality to be a Shameless Shitter -- I don't believe it is a learned science.

-- Doniker



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C Everett Poop (not verified) -- 03.16.2004

Everyone shits Doniker. Why be embarrassed about it? Just let it rip and to hell with what people think.

Chip Brown (201) -- 03.16.2004

See I knew you always admired us shameless shitters! You created my militantcy. I do it for your own good.

...and why should the guy give a courtesy flush for some shameful dude cowering in the corner stall? Stand up and shit like a man.

Slim Jim Junkie (not verified) -- 03.16.2004

Perhaps by using the behavior modification technique known as DONIG EXACTLY WHAT YOU FEAR, you might eventually become more of a shameless shitter. Eventually, the fear is reduced, and the "Opiate of the masses" known as taking a huge dump will make you reconsider holding it in.

The Big Wiper (2240) -- 03.16.2004

We've discussed this before with great interest on The Forums because it gets to the essence of what this site is all about. The last thread we had offered several opinions, and the one that made the most sense to me was that the whole shameful/shameless quandary was a combination of both environment and the person's brain chemistry.

One or the other of these factors could predominate in certain people to the exclusion of the other. I think it is possible to modify one's behavior through a concerted effort in some instances, but I also agree that there are people for whom even that prospect is overwhelming.

A truly shameless person can get about his or her business quicker and without subterfuge, and I think that makes life easier. But I accept the fact, as doniker states, that this remains a major issue for the shameful all their lives.

Slim Jim Junkie (not verified) -- 03.16.2004

Yes TBW, you are correct. Often people need a certain medication because theraputic talks don't work for them. Other times, an event happens that is stressful, there IS no amount of thereapy to erase the effects.

The Shit Volcano (3646) -- 03.16.2004

Come on, doniker! You haven't experienced shitting until you make a good SPLASH! in the pot with a room full of people. Let loose! Feel the power! Poo!!!

Poonurse (1313) -- 03.17.2004

How's about this for Shameful? I fart when I pee. Very loudly. I can't control it, so even when I am just sitting down to pee, I cut a big one.
There is a bathroom right next door to our nurse's station at work, but I can't use it because everyone will hear me fart. So I have to go all the way down the hall to the other one.

The Shit Volcano (3646) -- 03.17.2004

Let the farts fly!

ex-lax_ohmygod (not verified) -- 03.19.2004

the funniest incident of public shitting was when my i had the urge to shit but i couldnt becuase it was a ghost turd it was actually a piss movement. this was at a j and busters and i happened to have a whoopee cusion. so i put saop and a litle water in it so it would sound like dirrhea and let it fly lol it was funny imature but funny. whos says you need to be mature to have fun?

Poopedem (55) -- 03.19.2004

I always find it a little easier to shit in public by letting loose and flushing at the same time. It cuts back on the smell and the noise all in one.

dane (not verified) -- 03.30.2004

Some advice please, i donīt consider myself to be a shameful shitter but recently i had to stop off at the truck stop to unload a big one. i gets in the bathroom, thereīs 2 stalls both in use i only have to hold on a couple of minutes when one guy flushes comes out the stall and says with a smirk on his face "sorry pal i used all the toilet paper", i feel panic run down my bowels which makes the need to shit even more urgent and realise that the other stall wonīt be free soon enough. Being optomistic i decide to use the tp free stall. My first slight embarassment is the huge fart that erupts out of my ass like machine gun fire followed by the plopping of 5 or 6 shits. Im sitting there trumping wondering whether to ask the guy in the next stall if he can pass me some paper but im too ashamed after my farts and decide to wait for him to leave so that i can hop into his stall and wipe myself. As it turns out a queue has formed and i decide to leave unwiped and drive to the next stop whilst my pants receive a skidmark from hell. So, should i have asked the guy for the paper? I have since become more shameful of my farting habits on the toilet which have caused great amusement in the past.

Deja Poo (606) -- 01.10.2007

"Everyone shits Doniker. Why be embarrassed about it? Just let it rip and to hell with what people think."

Every guy masturbates also. It doesn't mean, however, that I'm going to "hoist the main sail" with anybody around me.

(Don't deny it, CEP! You know you do, just like every other male over the age of 12. If you don't, then you're either dead or a quadraplegic. In either case, you wouldn't be posting on this board.)

For the record, though, I'm a not-so-paranoid pooper.

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