Editor's note: this tale of joy was originally posted on the forums.
My friends, it has been a while. But since my last post, I have entered the realm of the executive bathroom.
I'm not an executive, but I am moving up the food chain of employment; and with that there are benefits. Free health insurance, three weeks of vacation, free education, and now the executive shithouse.
This place is on par with some of the nicest golf courses I've ever played.
Imagine opening a nice solid oak door with a simple "Gents" sign on it -- by turning a golden handle. Not a knob, but one of those handles that you see on the front doors of some houses.
Upon entering, you would be treated to shiny hardwood floors in front of you, with a white marble sink to the left. Two basins with the built-in soap dispensers with that foamy shit in them. Behind the sink is a mirror that has some designs etched on the sides. Several towels rest on a stand next to the sink, with a laundry basket to the side. More towels are in a cabinet in the stand and every day they are swapped out by our amazing cleaning lady. Yeah, she rocks.
On your right there is a small black leather sofa. A two-seater. Real nice and soft, it is very good if you're waiting on a stall, which rarely happens; but I like to sit on it. Beside it is another little stand, on which is a phone. A phone in the shitter? Why? Hell if I know. I don't use it. I usually just sit there and finish reading the paper.
So back to the room: straight ahead is a magazine rack!!! It usually contains a few copies of CADalyst, two local newspapers, my current Guitar World, and a few others, including Playboy! The stalls are made of oak, extending from the floor to seven feet above the ground. Doors are also oak, with gold hardware. It's sweet.
The first stall is a basic sparkling white urinal, with the auto-flush feature. Stall Two is a normal shitter, but it does have a cushioned seat. Nice feature. Not auto-flush -- which is nice as well.
The second is the typical handicrapper. It seems to be a good bit higher than the other toilet, maybe by six or eight inches. It has the normal handrails on both sides -- gold color as well. It also has the cushioned seat. This one does have auto-flush, which I hate, but it was designed so a handicapped person wouldn't have to fuck with flushing. So I understand. The stall is nice and roomy and gives you more than enough room to stretch out and have a poop.
It's sweet and I enjoy pooping there. I try to plan my BM's during the week, so I can use my new executive shitter.
