This is a great idea.

But of course it could only work at a small business that doesn't use a janitorial service.

I could have used something like this to keep all the scumbags at my workplaces from trashing my favorite stall; the only problem would be how to hide the thing at night when the janitors came in.

To the extent your major object was to keep out the smell, it would obviously only work perfectly in a one-holer. Why not just lock the outside door of the one-holer, and put an out-of-order sign on it? I suppose the risk there is some suit getting involved and telling you to clean it up.

In an emergency--keep a box of those big, wooden kitchen matches handy. I've never yet been in a bathroom where striking two or three of those wouldn't make the air at least breathable. My ex-wife used to leave the loo smelling like a mustard gas factory, and that's how I learned the match trick.

Donikers comment is correct. At 5pm everyday, brien and I carefully stow away Gibby overnight out of the bathroom so the janitors dont find him. The next morning we change his wardrobe and put him back in.

I will be smiling all day thinking of those fake legs! This is way too funny. It's also a great idea! Thanks for the story!

I was wondering if you changed his clothes to keep them from suspecting. It seems like you thought of everything (hopefully none of them read Poopreport)!

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

Very clever Lyrad! You never cease to amaze me with your ability to accomplish ANYTHING!!

Oh great, I shit my pants because of HALF a dummy?!?!?

You will have to keep us posted as to how well this system works over time. I, myself, would start to wonder after a while because of the frequency of this mystery person's bathroom visits and the lack of smell coming from said person's dumps.

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

I think that somewhere Ferris Bueller is smiling. Toss in some robotics or sound effects and this idea goes from clever to genius.

If only I could figure out a way to make this work at school. Technically there is two stalls but one is missing a door and someone is fucking always in the other one. Damn community college.

_______
poop makes the heart grow fonder

Hah! That's great! Great report and great idea! I'm so glad your invention is working out for you. I can defitnitely see how you would come up with something to deter people from stinking up your nice, clean bathroom, especially when they have one of their own.

Maybe Gibby needs his own patented carrying case so that they never see "him" come out of the restroom--just pretend you've got a gym bag with you. (I can see the marketing ploys now!) You take his change of pants cuffs/shoes in with the bag and carry him out at the end of the day and no one's the wiser.

I had to crack up at "Gibby". My sister and I call those gross leftover crumbs of crap in the toilet that didn't flush, "Gibs" (short for giblets). I can't tell in the written word if your pronounciation would be a hard "G" for "Guy-in-bathroon" or the soft "g" that sounds like a "j" as in giblets, but either way, I got a good laugh! :D

_______
'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

I'm relieved to see that the people who work in the restaurant have their own bathroom, otherwise I'd call Poop Nazi on you. And, since they have their own bathroom, I wonder......is because their bathroom is so dirty? Is their boss a turd burglar? What's the deal? I have so many questions.

You must try to find out for us!

Your bathroom IS very clean.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

This concept was actually used in a movie, "Narrow Margin," a thriller with Anne Archer and Gene Hackman. Half a male dummy was placed in a bathroom by Hackman to throw the killers who were pursuing him and Archer off the trail. It worked. By the time the killers kicked in the stall and discovered that the 'shitter' had no trunk, Hackman and Archer had gotten a healthy lead on them.

I don't think this qualifies as a poop scene for our archives, though.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

I find myself an older, wiser woman having read this story, because now I know the term for floaty pieces of crap that linger in the bowl. Toots, your gibs made me laugh really, really loudly.

I'd like to find myself an older wiser woman, but I'm afraid I can't afford the surgery, and I haven't the power to make time go faster...

I really must fabricate something like this myself the next time my workplace is hostile to pleasant dumping.

I'd be slightly worried about forgetting it or someone discovering it and them disposing of it.

For variety you could lay a copy of a cross word puzzle book or a Reader's Digest on the floor. Great story.

_______
The Psychic Pooper

The Spirit Moved Me and Look What Happened

Talking to Spirit

This is the sort of ingenuity which keeps North American industry ahead of the pack. Great story and invention Lyrad!!!

This is giving me ideas about our often nasty "ladies" (and I use the term so loosely it's practically diarrhea) We have a very large oriental demographic in our company of several hundred employees and some of the women who regularly frequent leave, among other charming presents for the rest of us to encounter (and void contents of stomach) things like the 'leftovers', the forgotten flush with a coiled brown cobra lurking at the bottom of the bowl, ready to terrify any unsuspecting stall visitor, the 'drippy', well while this is, strictly speaking, not poop, nor urine, and is rather sanguinely colored...I think you get the drift, finding drippy on the rim of the toilet, the seat or the floor produces an instant and sharp about face and onward forging toward the next available stall for a look/see. Toilets are routinely not flushed, seats tinkled on (thbough our employer generously supplies each stall with seat covers and we have a full time toilet maintenance lady) and various things in the actual bowl that no one's tender eyes should be exposed to. They also constitute the worst olfactory offenders due the peculiarites of their 'cuisine' and the type of foods/spices/et al that they eat regularly. Survival strategy consists primary in cutting to mouth breathing at the first delicate note of something cadaverous being extruded. These extrusions zre frequenly accompanied by snuffling, snorting, groaning and grunting. Those are usualy the cues to us to finish asap, zip up, wash hands, all while carefully mouth breathing and to make good our escape. Still, sometimes it is just not fast enough to avoid hearing a freshly made Egg Poo Yung squirted out or a Nanking Nuke deployed. Then it's run for your life & make haste to sound the alarm via the PFN (pooping friends network). We shall have to look into a female version to try to safeguard a few stalls at least, or perhaps our 3 stall Safe Haven...hmmmm Thanks for this wonderful idea, Lyrad!
- Dedecorus Cacator

Lyrad, I am only waiting until the right circumstances occur in my life to copy this idea. It's genius!

I think for fun, you SHOULD give Gibby some reading material, once in a while, as Psychic suggested. For realism!

Oh my! Think of the props you could use! A bottle of sodapop. A magazine between his feet (open, of course). A lunch bag.

A briefcase. Newspaper. Starbucks commuter mug.

Dangle an Ipod cord from the paper holder. Shaving kit. Fake laptop from IKEA (again, on the floor, open between his feet).

A bucket from KFC. An accordian file-folder. Or an actual accordian! Okay, no. That'd be dumb. But you get the picture.

What else?

What else?

An additional set of legs.

I am in awe of your genius.

He needs a Journal of Ass Production. For sure.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

As awesome as I think your little toy is. If I really had to take a shit and found it was only a pair of pants. I would take sweet revenge and totally take a dump in GIBBY

_______
40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

Great idea!!!! It sounds like that dude needs his own private stall, some place in the middle of Area 51.

A few yars ago, at my old job, we had someone who somehow would get toilet paper all over the floor. To this day, I can't figure out how grown men that (should) know better, can defile a bathroom worse that a class of pre schoolers.
_______
"Thunder in March betokens a fruitfull year" .Or is it "Thunder in March, frost in June"?

This is a fantastic idea! I love it! If only I'd seen something like this back at my last job. It would have deterred the poop-n-run terrorist that would always leave turds in the toilet (and no toilet paper! ew!) and just leave the ladies room! We knew exactly who it was too. The only thing I did to deter that behavior was the ol' celophane on the toilet bowl trick. We knew exactly when she would go in there so we had it already for her. It worked too! She came out of the ladies room with her jacket tied around her waist to hide the pee that must have gotten all over her legs. The crap-n-run stopped for a little while, but resumed again a few months later. Oh well, we tried.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I just really want to know-- did you ever see those guys poke their heads into the bathroom, only to dissappointedly turn away, and go back to their own stinky bathroom?

I would imagine it would be most gratifying to see these guys deterred by Gibby and shuffle off back to whence they came.
Just that look on their face when they realized they had to watch the disspapointment of a clean crap dissapate as they went back to their own facilities.

Did you ever see the reaction?

_______
'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Fake legs! This might explain a few questions about my local crapper. Great pics by the way.

It's especially ingenius that you picked a box the perfect size so that you can put him on the back of the toilet and not have to worry about him falling off (that would be a disaster if one of your restaurant working friends were in the bathroom when it happened).

The more time passes, the more I like this idea. Great thinking Lyrad!

_______
Holy skid marks Batman!

Oi. I hope sometimes it was a dummy and not a person hearing me grunt as I try to fit my big pregnant belly in the stall and crap with hemmerhoids hanging from my bum.

In response to "Toots N McCrack". Brien and I have both witnessed a couple rejections thanks to Gibby. It is absolutely hilarious. Brien gets scared though, he thinks the restaurant guys are on to us but I think he is just paranoid. One problem we do have is some of our coworkers that we told Gibby about are getting lazy and forgetting Gibby is in there and turning off the light. If the restaurant workers walk in and Gibby is pooping in the dark, it will probably blow our cover. But Godspeed, Gibby is working hard and working well!!!

But wouldn't a tape of someone farting and grunting (perhaps placed in a pants' pocket) like RoboDump also alleviate any growing suspicions someone might have with Gibby's constant appearances?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

I like the sounds idea, but you shouldn't use them all the time. That's where my plan comes in. Every day when you change his pants and shoes, change his prop.

Although, you'd have to change the prop once or twice during the day, too. But that day's paper should be sufficient. The restaurant boys will get used to the fact that this guy reads on the john.

Heh. Another thought. Have him looking at a 'Playboy' centerfold placed on the floor. Then they'd realize that he'd be in there a little longer from time to time.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Excellent idea TBW! Man, how I wish I had a way of perpetrating this on some deserving individuals.

Im sorry to say that yesterday around 3:30 central time, Gibby was found out. It turns out that the restaurant workers complained to building management about a gentleman who had been in the stall all day. The building people went intol the bathroom and were screaming at the stall for about 30 minutes. Then they came to us and asked if all of our employees were in the office. They beleived that someone had, had a heart attack on the toilet and they were ready to call 911 when Brien had to tell them. Needless to say everyone started laughing. There is one woman who works with the restaurant workers who was making fun of them and laughing at them. It will probably be pretty tense for awhile. Brien and I are extremely sad. Gibby can never be used again in this office. Thank you everybody for beleiving in Gibby and all of your kind thoughts.

I'm going to have to go take a Zoloft. (*sniff*)

Bummer :-(

Why not just put up a mean sign for the restaurant workers instead now?

Along the lines of: "Your shit stinks to high heaven. Please use your own bathroom."

Or would that be too much?

_______
It's YOUR cat, YOU get his poop out of my sink!

_wHAT A CLEVER IDEA!!!______
Producing waste since 1967

Very clever solution!

Someone asked how they would hide the device from the night janitors. If your bathroom had drop ceilings, you could stand on the toilet and pop open a ceiling tile and hide him up there.

In the movie TOYS, LL Cool J is in the loo and uses a dummy to hide which crapper he's using.
The legs fold out of a duffle bag that he lays overtop of the bowl. Mind you, he was squatting on the bowl in another stall.

_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

nice story, reminded me of when i was working nites at my fathers machine shop about 30 years ago. the building was partitioned to accomodate 2 companies, and we had gotten the (formerly) ladies room, with just 1 stall. a pair of old pants and work boots were employed on any new worker, much to our sadistic delight (and his chagrin). i can still hear the words "man that guy is still in there" just before the hapless freshman runs out to the parking lot to find a couple of closely parked cars to grab on to. thanks for keeping this prank alive and well, and i can only hope someones grandchild will do the same some day

That is genius!!! OMG, you could probably market this idea....even as a prank...

This is a great idea!

It reminds me of my method for preventing tall people from sitting in front of me in the movie theater. It never fails, when I don't reserve the seat in front of me, some tall guy with a short girlfriend comes into the row in front of me. His girlfriend sits down in front of the empty seat beside me and he sits directly in front of me. It is never, never, NEVER the opposite! I'd move to the other seat, but it is usually the one that puts the screen at an annoying angle. (I like to be centered. I know, I'm a dick.)

I discovered that if I took off my nasty, stank-ass tennis shoes and placed them on the seat in front of me, no one sat in it. The minute the lights went down and everyone settled, I removed the shoes without anyone noticing and slipped them back on. I have since had boyfriend-shadow-free movies.

Same principle with GIB. Great stuff!

_______
Born right the first time.

Can I get one?

_______
Did I just fart?.... Oh shit! NO!!

I'm confused...

When you leave the stall and leave Gibby in there, how do you lock the door behind you? Most bathroom stall doors can only be locked from the inside.

My fathers business was destroyed in the 1967 riots in Newark, NJ and he was forced to take a temporary building that had only one (stall) crapper. I worked part-time there (I was only 14)and pulled this prank several times on new employees. I just used a pair of work boots, and pair of pants, but managed to make a couple of guys go out in the parking lot.

I figured I'd repost the story AFTER logging in this time.

I get children at work who like to lock the men's stall and crawl out under the door. They think it's SO-O-O-O funny.
The lock is the sliding bar kind, so I just lower a broom handle over the door and push the bar out of the way.
I used the same technique in reverse to lock the door when the crapper was broken last time.
_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....