A few years back, I was working in construction. As most construction workers probably know, fast food can be your mortal enemy when you are working out in the hot sun. Somehow that double cheeseburger always ends up coming back to haunt you, usually sooner rather than later.
Four of us had just eaten lunch at a local fast food joint, and the boss decided that he needed something from the Home Depot. Since we were all riding together in the company truck, the lot of us ended up in the store, waiting on our boss to go about his business. While gathering up the items he needed, he had felt the sudden compulsion to let loose the unholy fury of a large chicken strip special into a porcelain receptacle.
I was the one who was chosen to carry the supplies while he took a dump. After about five minutes, though, I began to feel a high pressure system moving into my own lower altitudes.
Surely he would be done before long, I thought, and then I could take my turn in the crapper. Not so.
As the next five minutes dragged by like an eternity, I realized I couldn't wait anymore. I laid the tools down on the nearest shelf and took off towards the bathrooms like an Olympic sprinter. I dashed into the nearest stall, which happened to be the one beside my boss, and half-sat, half-fell onto the toilet. To this day, I have never pooed in such volume, or so loudly. I have no doubt that the sound of now-liquefied french fries hitting the bowl made its way out into the aisles, as did the smell.
Business being done, I used about a half a roll of paper to wipe away the splattered poo from my buttocks, and quietly exited the restroom.
About two minutes later, my boss ran out of the bathroom, looking around, and asked in amazement, “Did you see that guy who just left the bathroom? He took the loudest crap I have ever heard!”
It took me almost a full minute to stop laughing long enough to tell him that I was the one who took the Hiroshima Poop.
The look on his face was priceless, and for the rest of the day, one needed only to mention the word Crap to have him rolling on the ground laughing.