They should send out an email like this at my work. But our bathroom isn't just staff, it's for customers too. But our toilets are always gettin clogged up because some inconsiderate person loves using a whole industrial sized roll of tp, or even paper towels and shoiving them down the shitty toilet and gettin mud everywhere when it overflows.

Only an asshole would put a paper towel in a toilet.

I kinda wonder what hell is like for bathroom terrorists. If the jihadists think they get 72 virgins or whatever, what do these shitheads get? Maybe as punishment, satan would sew their asses shut, and keep feeding them and feeding them and feeding them, then when they have to poop all the bathrooms are filthy and they have to sit on pee and overflow, then when they try to shit, they can't do it anyways cuz their too nervous and their butts is sewn shut. That would be a proper torture for a bathroom terrorist in hell.

This is a good example of ineffective, admin-speak. Like the "considerable amount of paper towels" that are plugging the toilet, the memo is filled with "a considerable amount of yak-yak" that stops-up the flow of information. Here's the essence:

"Some stupid fuck tried, yet again, to flush paper towels down the toilet. To the person doing this, two words to keep in mind if we catch you. Shit. Fan."

This is an ADA violation. (Americans with Diarrhea Act)

they should do a stakeout in the bathroom and catch this douche...then give him a swirly with the shitty clogged toilet. muwahahaha
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Earth,insane asylum for the universe.

Simple: Make the person responsible clear the clog WITH THEIR BARE HANDS.

Two words, air dryer. Works better and will save money. As far as punishment, it sounds like just working there is enough.

LBK, just an update on those 72 virgins. Why don't the terrorists just do the math. There can't possibly be 72 for each of them. West Virginia, Kentucky and Alabama haven't supplied any for years now.

Well PD, that's because all the perverted truckdrivers are stealing them and hoarding them in warehouses on the west coast as soon as we can produce some.

I knew it!

My office once posted notices *inside the restroom* about not putting paper towels in the toilet. And then our entire staff had a meeting with our boss not once, but twice, just for this issue.

It's apparently a big deal everywhere.

be assertive man-I mean if someone is trashing God Gavin' Talent at work- let them play- but if you need to wittness it forget it!-as the sup/mangm. knows-have a light on that says I will shit outside of work-simple-but not in thosese seorios situactions-shit at home save your comp. $$-joker in the frost!^
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Wow!- what a party down below and a couple dancing too

Pootananny, that shit made no sense whatsoever. I'm not like CEP or doniker and negatively critique every comment or article, but I got absolutely nothing out of your comment. Except poop at home, which is a three word sentance that woulda been all that was needed if that's what you were tryin to say.

I agree with Logjam. Despite the offending paper-towel stuffing situtaion, all she really needed to say in the email is, "Stop clogging up the shitter with paper towels. If you did it, go fix the bathroom or be fired."

For her to threaten discontinuing paper products in the restrooms is passive-aggressive hilarity!

PS - What's the point of using paper towels in the crapper? If your ass is that nasty, invest in some baby wipes.

I know that it would never happen, but putting the paper towels on a small table outside the restroom next to a waste basket would make it harder for the offending clog artist to continue his/her reign of terror.

Then again, removing the soap and paper towels and replacing them with a giant bottle of Purell could actually work.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Some dumb-dumb would steal the bottle for personal use. :(

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Maybe maintenance has not been replacing the toilet paper when it runs out .... I would only use rough paper towels on my special places if there were no other alternative. This may be the work of turd terrorist, but I feel like we are missing some key information here.

"Please be reminded that only toilet paper should be used in the toilets. Thank you."

So...what are you supposed to do with the turds?

Weird office.

"So...what are you supposed to do with the turds?"

The responsible thing to do is keep them till they're 65 and let them retire to Florida with full bennies.

Pootananny, is English your first language?

Cannabem liberemus!

Also, it wasn't 72 virgins, it was 72 virginians, who like getting boinked in the butt and turd terrorists really like that, don't they?

Cannabem liberemus!

Wipe your butt with your finger. Then send Phillis a (well finger printed) memo about how you are doing your part! Hell... Send her one every day.

I will try to remember

I suspected garden101 all along...its always the quiet ones.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

For all the people who are upset about paper towels in the toilet... have you checked to ensure that there is enough toilet paper available? I know I can think of one time in my life where using PT (as opposed to TP) was justified -- I barely made it into the bathroom at Staples before my butt exploded. After the relief of losing potentially 10 lb. of explosive poop particles, I noticed with abject horror the complete lack of toilet paper.

Luckily, I was able to sneak to the PT dispenser to get some towels to clean up with, and after that explosion, I wasn't about to place them in the trash. It was Staples' fault for the lack of TP in the bathroom.

So... what I'm saying is... if you don't want paper towels in the toilet, ensure there is sufficient TP.

LOL. I have laughed on this thread. I think it is abusive to the workers to withhold TP. That is the problem, not enough TP stocked in the BR. Logj what are full bennies? their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I'll field this one, LJ. "Full Bennies", SP, are twice as much as "Half Bennies" and infinitely more than "No Bennies".
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

That's the greatest explanation of anything I've ever heard of bilge. I'm sure that clarified it up real good for lil miss sittin pretty. By the way, sp, how ya been? I think I cured my problems: chinese food, mainly RICE! Oh, and I've had to use napkins from my lunch that just happened to be in my pocket because I had a runny nose due to allergies and didn't look before I sat down and had no toilet paper. My ass was rough for days.

I suspect that the fiends next move will be to wipe their ass and then leave it on the floor beside the crapper.
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My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Bilge.You failed to mention that full bennies are only half as much as double bennies.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

And absolutely nothing about Benny Hill.

...unless we want to consider Benny's bennies.

How about Benny's bevy of bodacious beauties?
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

We have 'progressed' to the new, low-flow toilets in our building at work. After several incidents of not only clogged toilets but clogged master drain pipes (I'm sure that's not the proper terminology, but I'm no plumber), our building manager has come up with a grand and glorious suggestion/comment re: this issue. "Why are people shitting at the office? They should shit at home."

For some reason, I am almost inable to dignify such stupidity with a retort.

Did SittingPretty ever solve the bennie conundrum?
"Benny" reminded me of the story about British Army personnel refering to Falkland Islanders as Bennies due to their common usage of pull-on wooly hats, like that worn by Benny in the shite sit-com Crossroads.
They were ordered to stop using the nickname immediately.
They were then known as "Not-Bennies".

I had a situation yesterday at work that was rather depressing. I went into my "office" and there was a big pile of tp and dry shit sitting in the bowl with no water around it. I flushed a couple of times and finally thought I had got the clog gone, and our toilets flush with a lot of force and water, so I sat down and shit and when I stood back up again I realized there was no water in the bowl and my runny orange shit was just piled up on the bowl. I tried to flush and flush and flush but to no avail. I had to leave my office in horrible condition. Luckily today tho, it was all clear.

Just to be spitefull I would find out where Phyliss the administratot poops, then I'd piss on the toilet seat._______
Sorry---I farted!!

I assumed when I read Logjam's comment that "bennies" translates into "benefits"; but I suppose I could be wrong.

I work in retail, in a mall. You don't know toilet art until you're forced to use a very public public restroom every day. Eight stalls, hundreds of ill-mannered mallrats... endless possibilities. I've seen poo in places that defy logic.

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You and Your Beer and How Great You Are.

And I'm sure that defy gravity too.

I have a friend who works in a gas station and he went into the single person men's room to take a piss and got a big surprise. Every square inch of that bathroom was coated in shit.

I have, more than once, heard my boyfriend--who is a "chief engineer" [read: executive toilet plunger and fixer of broken shit] at the local hoi polloi hotel grumble about PT used in place of TP. I gently remind him that if his guests weren't such shitheads, he would be bored shitless every day, and have jack shit to do at work. That said, I understand his shitty outlook on work. I wouldn't want to fix overflowing crappers, either.
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Proving that girls really do poop since 1984.

Yayyyy! Someone has Demodex as a front page name. I'm actually surprised it took this long!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Ha, as I said in the ol' bio...I've been around a while. I just never registered because I was too busy screwing around on the internet, doing other things.
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Proving that girls really do poop since 1984.

Perhaps, the next memo will be about corporate butt plugs or diapers.

Not to cause anyone to turn the color of a good spinach poop...But my office has blessed us with high power, motion sensing, craptastic restrooms. I prefer the first stall, out of 3, cause it is closest to the closet that stores tp if it runs out. I also believe that it has the most powerful flush(I think it is closer to the main pipe). Courtesy flushing only requires a slight wiggle. The stall walls and doors go all the way down to the floor giving me the peace of mind that no one in the lobby will notice my feet as the ones that just caused the flush fest......Sometimes I will drink an extra cup of coffee just to have to go at work.

Welcome aboard Pickey. Glad your employer has graced you with pooping accommodations that are to your liking. If you hang around long enough, you may find you will become less pickey. The whole world may become your oyster, er, Kohler. Someday you will be able to Squat anywhere, n-Leaveit

Our poopers at work have automatic flushers that go off the second you lift your butt cheek to wipe. I had one flush once when I farted. They are supposed to save water, but any motion (or noise, apparently) sets them off so they end up flushing about 5 times per poop/pee.

I stopped at the Misissippi rest station near Alabama yesterday for poop and the tiolet flushed auto matically on me at least three times and do you know that the water still wasnt clear of my wastage. It wasnt my fault to whomever came behind me in that handicap stall. sorry. i coulnt make it flush when i wanted to get rid of my pile,.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I work in an office primarily of women. And gosh, women are worse than the men! We have co-ed bathrooms and the ladies are so gross!

Sorry ladies but you can't blame bloody liners on the guys! Our office has moved from one building to another in the last 2 years. The first building we were in had seperate bathrooms and it was very disturbing. Had a lot of UNFLUSHED mess! Or worse, overflowed and clogged toliets.

I understand crap happens, pardon the pun. Especailly in an ancient building with poor plumbing. But for godsakes be responsible and turn the nob to shut off the water to the toliet and use the plunger. I can't tell you how many times I had walked into our restrooms to find crap everywhere!

Once it was so bad and I had to use the toliet quickly that I left and went into the mens. Thankfully no man was in there and I was able to get out before being seen. Then had to report it to our management. I was told to get a mop. I laughed and went back to my desk! A memo went out the next day very similar to this one but they took out the t.p. for a few weeks. It still didn't help.

In this new building we are in the bathroom doors can be seen by all. There are two single toliet rooms so either sex can use them. As pay back I drink lots of coffee and don't use the putrid Lysol that they have for a freshener. And leave the door wide open. Take that!

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Happy Pooping!

This as least sounds like a legitimate reason for the admin to post a bathroom memo. At my office, the miserly front desk lady actually posted a memo solely to request that women spray the air freshener "when necessary." She also reminded us grown adults to wash our hands. Since "when necessary" can be a subjective thing, I wondered why she didn't just put one of those non-spray fresheners in the bathroom? I made sure to use half a bottle of spray every time I was in there until the can soon ran out. Then lo and behold, the non-spray freshener shows up in the bathroom the next day and the memo is gone.

Dear AC.....You would be surprised, possibly not, as to how many grown adults do not wash their hands before exiting the bathroom. If your shit doesn't stink, which seems to be your opinion, then the air freshener is unnecessary. You should be ashamed of your self for wasting resources.

Sounds like the so called Paperwork Reduction Act.