Poop For Peace Day: April 17, 2009

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(New to Poop For Peace? Get lots more info here.)

Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur, Congo, Somalia, Mexico... across the world, violence and anger overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications, unable to move past our quarrels to embrace common humanity. Since difference is all we can see, suffering is all we can expect.

That's why you should go poop right now.

Because today, April 17, is Poop For Peace Day.

Poop For Peace Day is not about protest or partisanship or politics. Poop For Peace Day is about acknowledging the fundamental basis of shared humanity: black or white, liberal or conservative, Christian or Muslim or Jew, we are all united in struggle against the tyranny of the bowel.

So print out your Poop For Peace guide sheet, drink some coffee to get things moving, and head off to the bathroom. As you grunt out your morning constitutional, think of the billions of people all across the world who are undergoing the exact same struggle. Think of the children of Iraq and the children of America. Think of Obama and Sarkozy and Kim Jong Il and bin Laden, and think about the fact the twelve hours following Taco Bell are going to unfold for each of them in the exact same way. Think about how our differences are irrelevant -- we're all human beings. Our poop proves it.

Empathy through excrement. Brotherhood through bowel movement. Utopia through undulating butt pythons. Today, April 17, 2009, war is over -- if you grunt it.

So go to the bathroom and drop a grumper for your fellow man. And then come back here and proclaim it to the world.




poop for peace

Get ready for 2010's push.


For six years we have pooped for peace, and for six years the evildoers among us have feigned constipation and thus prolonged humanity’s suffering. Which means the brown-splattered dove still sadly circles, an olive branch in its beak and a bit of toilet paper trailing from its foot, waiting for a nice, solid log on which to alight and end our strife.

So we'll be pooping for peace again in 2010. Submit your email address to get news and updates as this year's Poop For Peace Day approaches, as well as to get an email reminder on the day of the glorious event.







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58 Comments on "Poop For Peace Day: April 17, 2009"

Anonymous Coward's picture

you know this can be a T.V show.LoL..you guys are funny...where do all the poop and fart end up....
Mr X

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Anything festering for PfP 2010?


_______
"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

What does it mean to blow your mind? Does your thoughts blow up? Neurons escape from your ears in a cloud of smoke? Brain matter blows your eyes out your head?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Fogless's picture

I pooped after eating a bunch of Halloween cookies so it came out mostly orange and brown.

I thought about world peace, and how all people poop. It blew my mind.

ac's picture

im pooping for peace all the time sometimes the pain of my brothers and sisters around the world get put through me sometimes the pain is so great that i cry and tap my feet while having a sheet
(shit)..

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Thank you, hitcliff. Not all of us are great. Some of us are fabulous.

hitcliff's picture

a very interesting site... so much new information. have never thought about pooping that way! have surfed the internet for anything of the kind with my favourite search engine, but found none. you guys are great!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

AC, please pull up the story "Colonoscopy, we all must open wide" from the archives. I had posted a little ditty on it you can sing while the doctor is getting ready to medically rape you. It should help you relax.

Jack, my mind tends to work in random bursts and seldom have I been able to go back and add to my work. I will have a look at this one. Thank you for your compliment.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Hello All,
Just wating for my prep work to kick in fo a colonoscopy. Wish me luck. I'm a bit freaked out by the whole thing.

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points


prarie doggin (3036) -- 04.17.2009
Let freedom ring.
Let your assholes sing.
Let the whole world know it's the day,
Of peaceful splattering.

Let the weak be strong, may your turds be long.
Flush them all away, there's no guilt today.
It's peaceful pooping day.

Sorry Martina,

PD, I don't think any apologies are necessary. If Martina could see what she has inspired I think she would be honored, at least she should be. How about finishing this one and posting it on the parody thread in the forums....I'd love to but I don't posess the talent.
Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Hey, watch who you besmirch with that Earthling epithet, Chief. This may be your insane asylum by birth, but it's only a temporary billet for me.
_______
Mork calling Orson. Come in Orson.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I am sure the world is a a more closely knit society thanks to the straining and grunting of those who participated, from the heart of my bottom I can only say "thank you my fellow earthlings."


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

the poop one's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

On poop for peace day, I waited for the feeling... that feeling of the urge to poop. I waited for many hours and finally, 11:30 p.m., I knew it was time. I only had a half hour left to finish, which is plenty of time.... sometimes. I pooped for peace that day, no magazine and no cell phone to distract me. I just enjoyed the moment, thinking about all the people that had pooped for peace that day... It was a beautiful moment. I enjoyed every second of it.

La Petomaine's picture
l 100+ points

I did the blessed deed three times. Sometimes I curse my bowels for tending to constipation, but I bless Phillips Caplets for being there for me. And on this day I am also grateful for Cottonelle Wipes, so my butt doesn't get torn up by dry T.P. alone.


_______
Have a crappy day!
La Petomaine

Have a crappy day!
La Petomaine

Anonymous Coward's picture

My husband started the day off right and shit his pants for peace. After getting out of the shower, I noticed a clean bag in the bin and asked why he'd taken the garbage out already. He replied that not only is he a peace pooper, he's also a responsible peace pooper!!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I finally pooped at 7:30 this morning, too late for April 17th in this country, but somewhere in the world, with all the different time zones, it must have still been April 17th somewhere in the world.

RoboCrap13's picture
l 100+ points

As I approached the Hollywood Bowl, I knew the orchestra was moving into position. I took my seat and waited.

The concert started with a light, relaxed piece in the key of F performed by the lower winds.

The rain started, and the sound added to the performance.

I sat quietly listening to the passage of the various movements: The first one was smooth and calming, and it left me feeling peaceful.

It was quickly followed by a scary one that was biting and explosive.

The final movement started slow and then strained into a great screaming crescendo until it finished with an unexpected note that left the audience breathless.

Paper streamers crossed the room as the crowd cheerfully prepared to leave.

And I was happy as I heard a roar of thunder and watched everything clear out of the bandshell.

_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Very nice Daphne. Did you and Mr. Daphne do a drive by on the way home?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

I'm a hypocrite, you see.
Mr. daphne said to me.
Here were are, eating well,
But it's dreaded sashimi.

"Yes," I said, "I know it's true."
"My fish in tanks know not a clue."
"That I every one month or two"
"Succumb to raw fish as a food."

I had sashimi and a great poop. I even wondered while meditating about the fact that my feet stuck to the bottom of the bathroom floor - until I saw that the restaurant had 3 aroma sprays available.

Next year I will remember who I am and have a humongous spinach salad.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

PD, I'll give it a shot, but pooping now is kind of like showing up for a party after everybody else is already wasted.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

So, Mr. T, when you were setting there on the throne having dropped off the kids, was it then that you were contemplating your good fortune or were you, like me, playing Brickbreaker on your Blackberry?
_______
My special needs student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

DR T's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I pooped for peace about 1:30 PM local time. I had almost forgott about today till I had my pants down. Then I remembered! I thought about how fortunate I was to have a place like home to poop in, when so many others were without a "pot to poop in", pun intended!

I did three logs aproxmatly 6in long and 1.5 around, and one about 4in long, to finish up with.

It was a pretty dark brown color with streaks of green through it (from last night's green beans) and would have made a nice picture, suitable for framing!

Cleanup was very easy on the ass, requiring only two wads of paper.

I sat there on the white throne for ten minutes, being greatfull for all I had, before flushing this masterpiece of poop down the drain.

I wish for you all today, a great poop like this one.

T

Browntown Fog's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

3 2's #3 sweaty...itch kept me thoughtful. Peace.

II

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Postman, I'm not sure what time zone you reside in, but you have at least 3 hours left.
Make yourself a snack, some coffee, grab some magazines and get on that pot. You can do it. Remember the postal creed.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

This turned out to be a rare poopless day for me, so I was unable to do my part. Sorry.

If a global nuclear war breaks out, I'll take full responsibility.

cornleg's picture
l 100+ points

I produced a bowl of Deuce soup for peace today...It's dark hearty broth was chock full of onion skins, tomato bits and of course corn. It was preceded by a town crier that announced its arrival with YOT! SQQQQQQQAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNnnnnnnttttsssssss....
_______
Don't move the truck I'm still on the bucket!

Don't move the truck I'm still on the bucket!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

MSG...Add in the other animals and earth is one gigantic poopfest!!

br>_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I pooped for peace early this morning, as usual, thinking that, as always, a few million other human beings were feeling their turds descend at exactly the same moment as mine. I doubt many of them were thinking of it the same way I did; but pretty much every day, I am aware that, on average (if people poop once a day on average), with 6,000,000,000 people, there are 250,000,000 pooping every hour, 4,000,000 and change every minute, around the clock, 24 / 7 / 365. What kinship we have in this very physical realm with all other human beings!

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Let the word go out
that shit is no slouch
Let the war-lords know it’s the day
to cease their blood-letting bout.

Yes, this is the day
when shit shows us the way
So all poopers please shout
Peace and poop: together we lay.

Logjam

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points


I pooped for peace earlier this afternoon in the Family Restroom at the local Target. And what a great poop it was. I actually am going to make another contribution to Poop for Peace in the next five minutes, for there is a rumble in my bowels.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

High noon...wanted to leave a shit that had some sort of meaning...sadly, I'm bleeding again, necessitating another fucking trip to the doctor.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Let freedom ring.
Let your assholes sing.
Let the whole world know it's the day,
Of peaceful splattering.

Let the weak be strong, may your turds be long.
Flush them all away, there's no guilt today.
It's peaceful pooping day.

Sorry Martina,

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I pooped today, as I do everyday, for pleasure and comfort. But given that in this case these more selfish interests don't seem at odds with the cause of peace, I will toss my hat in the communal shit pot of peace lovers everywhere. Let freedom plop.

Logjam

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Harleydude.....You sir are a disgrace to other Harley riders. Throw away the licorice and make that poop green by drinking lots of black beer. Although I suppose that if you must eat candy, licorice is the manly choice. Don't get caught with anything sissy, like a cream puff.
But I commend you for pooping for peace.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

harleydude's picture

I pooped for peace today. But it was green because I ate 1/2 bag of black licorice. Green poop is awesome, but it did freak me out a little.

Crapola's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

I pooped for peace at the break of day, 6 AM New York time. Hoping all our poops will bring a new day... of peace in the world and world unity.


_______
Piece Out!
Crapola

Piece Out!
Crapola

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

PR needs another pooet, todlosicasso. Welcome.

BTW, I'm not familiar with "todlosicasso". What does it mean? Is it Italian for "shitbird"?
_______
My special needs student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I just pooped in San francisco

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I am loading up on bourbon, pork bulgogi, with extra chilies, and a large side of homemade kimchi, I plan on pooping for peace again tomorrow.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

muddywaters's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Peace! However, what came out of me this morning was more like the fires of war.

muddywaters

Anonymous Runny Coward's picture

I have the runs, does that count? If it does then I have lots of pieces (ha ha)for World Poop Day. uh uh.....gotta run... got more pieces

todlosicasso's picture

I let a few go
just so you know
Set the poop free
to bring peace to you and me

pooping Jesus lover's picture

This is a great day!! Jesus pooped and I'm pooping too. Enjoying your website!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Just out of curiousity, Danny. How did you announce your intentions? Did you go to each of them and say "I'm using the bathroom in 5 minutes, so if you need to brush your teeth, you might want to do so now." or did you just holler out "Sweet Mother of Gawd, somebody get the plunger. This is going to be huge!" or did you just let out The Fart Heard 'Round The Apartment?
_______
My special needs student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Congrats to you, Paddy. Welcome to PR.
_______
My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

bodski's picture

Today, at the break of day, I marched with vigor to my pocelain chalice and pooped for peace. Upon completion, I inspected my peace offering and realized that I had also pooped for diversity, which somehow seems philosophically consistent. Lettuce, corn, asparagus, cheese, italian parsley, hamburger, greek olives, hard-boiled eggs, flax seed and oat bran; a variety of colors and food groups from separate meals shared in multiple settings, all adding their unique giftings, yet somehow demonstrating in unity. The total was definitely greater than the sum of the parts. Peace, everyone!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Deja Poo......You are so right. All the problems of the world, famine, pollution, shortage of resources, etc. can be directly or indirectly blamed on overpopulation. Political and religious leaders don't take a stand on this issue because it would make them unpopular.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Paddy Cakes's picture

My Piece is your PEACE...Done !

dannyboy's picture

I did it.., sort of!

I sat down, as usual right around 10 am, announced to the world (OK, apartment including wife, daughter, niece) my intentions of pooping for peace, went in to the bathroom, sat down, and then forgot about everything, had a pleasant and very peaceful normal poop, flushed, came back to work, and then realized I forgot the poop for peace business! Will try again later, but it WAS a peaceful poop...

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points

Ahhhhhhh the pause that refreshes....I just took a Weight Watchers dump...yes there is a new classification of poo...It is high in fiber but it also CAN produce some extremely dirty farts so please proceed with extreme caution. That might not JUST be a fart. So my WW dump was very inspiring all in the movement for PEACE. To everyone a good day AND a good dump!
_______
AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

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