Does your anus hurt after you poop?

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198 Comments on "Does your anus hurt after you poop?"

Bilgepump's picture
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I had to vote "Sometimes" but not for the reason mentioned...it depends on if the cat is declawed or not.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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I would think it would depend on the type of cat too, Bilgey.

I'd much rather wipe with a freshly groomed Persian than a Sphynx. Although the Sphynx would be better for multiple usings between extensive cleanings...or is your kitty paper disposable all-around?

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Bilgepump's picture
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Couple of "swirlies" and let them air dry, Queenie.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Miss Simone Scat's picture
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Nice visual Bilgey.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Pantload's picture
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A lot of times I'll have to blast a few smarmy messes out over an hour or two. That can most assuredly make one's bung an uncomfortable place.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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Ahhhh. Drip dry!

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Postman's picture
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Depends on the kind of poop. The other day I ate half a bag of Fiery Habenero Doritos, and the next day I took a dump that felt like flames shooting out my ass. My asshole burned the rest of the day, I'll tell you that.

Fudgepump's picture
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A couple of weeks ago, I passed something that felt like a chunk of stucco, and it did some damage on the way out. Not only did it hurt then, but for the next few days every pinch reaggravated the problem. I don't know if it was a stretch or a little tear or what, but it took about a week to fade away. A week and a couple doses of Miralax to ease the extrusion process.

shitwit's picture
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Fudgepump- you pooped out something that felt like stucco???? What have you been eating? Are you dehydrated? Holy shit!

I voted that my anus doesn't hurt after pooping. But only after my poor bum healed after natural childbirth. It's not totally healed yet... but close enough I guess.

But.... I suppose I should say it sometimes hurts. I've had "exhaust pipe syndrome" from eating atomic wings before.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Fudgepump's picture
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Yeah, Shitwit: I probably was dehydrated. My colon and I have developed a very close relationship over the last couple of years (Intellectual Crap - "...The Brink..." 9/6/06). Unfortunately I'm back on goddamn chemo (again!) so my fecal functions can be shall we say...dicey from time to time.

The Shit Volcano's picture
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Fudgepump wins the cake for making me laugh today.

Anyway, I chose sometimes. If I have one of my fatty, post-gallbladder shits I often end up with a throbbing ass. I'm not sure if this is from the sheer for or from the strain of trying to get it out.

Otherwise, my ass behaves itself.

_______
What if everyone farted at once?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Medical Shit's picture
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The doctor gave me a very powerful anti-biotic.. it caused my asshole to burn every time I dropped a stink pickle.. Also lately while i am trying to Detox myself.. my shit has became super-smelly and super-big which hurts my asshole.

Frank2401's picture
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_Fudgepump, it sounds like a few weeks ago you passed a "fecaloma" -my cousin had this problem while on chemo and stem cell treatments. Anyway, she would take one day out of each week and just drink organic vegetable/fruit juices. This would prevent the fecalomas and also give her liver a rest. Sorry about the chemo, I know what she went through and it wasn't pretty.

Miss Simone Scat's picture
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MS, Stink pickle.. LOL Don't know why but that's funny.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Hi I have a question conserning two things, my stool and my head. I have had a on going headache for about four days. Its like a headache i have never had before. Its mostly in the back of my head and on my forhead. Then the third day it started to feel better and by the fourth it bearly hurt.I am a germ freak and afarid of germs. So i bought this brarret and put it in my hair without cleaning it. Then I took it off cleaned it with alchol and because of my stupidity I put some alchol on my head because I was afarid germs were there. Could this have anything to do with my headache? Then I had a bowl movement and it was like diareah and it was tan. Then on the toielt paper there was very lite pink liquid and a very little amount of it. That same day i had a fresh fig. I only had one could that happen to do anything with this? Oh I also have been constipatied my whole life.If any one knows anything please HELP! Thank you so much.

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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Maybe you're so full of poop that it's filled your head, AC.

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Fecal Follies's picture
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"Sometimes" vote here.

At one extreme or the other of IBS, major pain in the O-ring.


_______
And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

healthy 1's picture
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Generally pain free on my end (no pun intended).
_______
"Thunder in March betokens a fruitfull year" .Or is it "Thunder in March, frost in June"?

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

MSG's picture
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Rarely I get what I think is a fissure in my anus, but even then what hurts is not the pooping, but the wiping. At least 95% of the time, probably more like 99%, my pooping and wiping are quite painless. Most of the time I am fortunate enough to poop where I can clean my anus well; at home I use a dab of Noxzema on the last set of paper when wiping, and at work I have some skin lotion that does almost as well. If I poop at a store, I just moisten the last paper with saliva, and it does decently. In all of those situations, no pain. However, if I do get one of those fissures, I notice it perhaps slightly while my turds are emerging; but even if I didn't notice it while pooping, it will come to my attention big-time while wiping. That can be a slow and painful process, improved at the end by the Noxaema if available. The worst part of that is getting poop in the open wound of the fissure during wiping; I don't like that at all. The poop itself, on the way out, doesn't seem either to widen the fissure or make it hurt. Aside from that rare occurrence, pooping is a pleasurable experience for me.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Wow I just whent for a 3 second shit and then afterwards it slowly started to hurt like I had pulled my anus or something and it got worse and worse for the next 2 minutes and its gone now. I thought about suicide five times in those 2 minutes. Hopefully that doesnt happen again.

Deja Poo's picture
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If it only took 3 seconds to drop, it probably wasn't a turd; it was probably a Solid Rocket Booster from the Space Shuttle.

And it hurt for 2 minutes after a 3 second crap? That means that it hurt 40 times longer post-partum than labor and delivery. Jeez, for one of those 30 minutes shits, you could be suffering almost a full day!

Crapping is a marathon, not a sprint.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Starleen's picture
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Just know that it is this site that sent me to the doctor, and guess what. Colorectal cancer. Caught in time, we think. I had a colon resection so things are much smaller in there. But, anyway, I'm going through chemo and my butthole hurts! I go to the bathroom between 6-20 times a day and it's fine when the stool is harder. Problem is, most of the time it is soft and sticky, so I must wipe and wipe and wipe. The skin "right there" is bleeding and it is excruciating. And my poo seems caustic-it burns all day long if I don't get it all off of my skin! Baby wipes hurt like salt on a cut. I'm in pain hours every day. Has anyone had this soft caustic poop/bleeding anus skin prob? Is the radiation I had 8 months ago still affecting the skin? I told my colon surgeon and he didn't seem to care. He got the tumor out and he's done, it seems.

prarie doggin's picture
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I voted "sometimes", but that was a long time ago. These days with my IBS, I am just shitting axle grease, and that does'nt cause any exit distress. I can remember one time that I ate a whole bag of pumpkin seeds, shell and all. The next day it felt like I was shitting barbed wire.

Dookie of Earl's picture
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A few weeks ago I went do "Don Pepe's" for some authentic mexican food. Started with a basket of tortilla chips and 2 bowls of salsa (moderately hot), then threw a couple of their chile rellenos on top of that (loaded with cheese and grease, then choked down a house special fajita plate (chicken, beef, and shrimp), with a generous portion of rice, beans, and guacamole on the side.

In retrospect where I really went wrong was smothering the whole lot with their habanero sauce (not sure the brand, but Habanero was the only word of "English" on the bottle).

Well, let me tell you, the next day was like something out of a "Hellraiser" movie. It felt like pinecones being shoved out of me with a wire brush, and I don't know if it was blowback or something, but the whole area burned. Not just my sphincter, but the inner 3 or 4 inches of rectum AND my cheeks as well!

I've never been hit with pepper spray, but I expect it's not that bad after what happened that cool winter morning. The pain came in throbbing waves and I couldn't wipe for about 15 minutes. I just kind of sat on the bowl drip drying keeping my tender cheeks spread trying to allow a little cool air onto things.

After the sharp burn subsided a bit I was able to mop up a bit with some TP, that really only spread the burn around more, another 15 minutes or so of intense burning, and I could stand. It was a couple hours still before I could sit down.

Eating at Don Pepe's is kind of like being a honey-bee. There's something delicious in your mouth, but always a vicious stinger in your tail.

Damn you Don Pepe.

prarie doggin's picture
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Splash that area with some aftershave, and you will be alright.

poopcrayon's picture
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i voted sometimes. because there are the days when it feels like the turds are wrapped in acid (for no reason) for their fun journey to the toilet. i tend to walk noticeably slower when that happens.


_______
all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

all aboard the farty train to pooterville

Anonymous Coward's picture
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almost after ever shit i need to shower and wash my anus cause if i don't i get this griddy feelin between my asscheeks and it drives me nuts even though i wipe till the paper has nothing left i still get this feeling and it drives me nuts that i have to deal wit this cuase i can't poop unnless i plann to shower right after

prarie doggin's picture
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AC that post almost drove me nuts.

MSG's picture
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Try using Noxzema or some skin salve or ointment on the last bit of toilet paper. If my anus is almost clean, that will clean the rest of it and leave a nice feeling behind. This helps even after meals including hot sauce, hot peppers, and the like.

turdfan's picture
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Sometimes the skin around my butthole burns an hour or two after I've pooped,if I've passed some sticky turds and then had to wipe a long time. I found that applying some metholatum solves the problem immediately.

MSG's picture
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I had a different sort of pain about the anus yesterday. I had my normal morning poop, then during the afternoon, at work (school), I went into the men's room and had a quite large satisfying b.m. of several sizable turds. No problem then or with the wiping; but maybe three hours later, at home, I noticed a slowly-growing sensation of pain right in the anus, a fairly sharp, quite noticeable ache. I was seated on a hard bench at the time; perhaps that caused it. Anyhow, I soon got up, went into the bathroom, and massaged my anus (including the anal canal) with Noxzema. The pain went away quickly and has not returned. I had experienced that feeling a few times before, but very rarely.

heinzbeans's picture
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i voted sometimes, only whenever it is a huge one, normally not.

turdfan's picture
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Today, I had a really long dry type turd, and usually I end up having to pinch those off after the've poked their head out only about an inch, and then flush the remainder out with a bottled enema. This one was barely wet enough to pass on it's own, but I had to strain a while. My anus hurt for about 10 minutes after that one, but the pain was well worth getting rid of that thing without the enema routine.

Riding the pain train's picture
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I've never been to this site before but am I happy I did today! Yesterday I was working my job in an ER when I had that instant "oh-my-God, where's-the-closest-bathroom, I-can-hardly-think-straight" moment right before ED (explosive diarrhea) does his thing. Well ED has decided to visit for 24 hrs now - don't know if I have IBS, a bug, food poisoning, or what. But man does my anus hurt! Its been throbbing and writhing in pain since about 6PM last night. I don't have any Noxzema and the thought of going out into public to buy some makes me want to cry. However, hearing everyone's whitty one liners and sarcastic remarks has brightened my day and made me feel less alone. Thanks all! Happy pooping!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I just took the most painful shit. It actually felt like a gopher or small rodent coming out of my asshole. It hurts like a mother now.. Wow.. I feel like I want to commit suicide.

note to self: do not eat buffalo chicken pizza.

I am immortal, u r not! ha ha ha's picture
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I sumtime's feel like life ain't worth living anymore, basically cos this illness is so painful! The last time i did a poop (1 week ago), the stool wudn't stop comin out. I had 2 keep makin hot drinks & drink them while sat on the toilet!! I actually thawt i woz gonna get diahorrea, but i didn't. Thankgod! I don't know which is worse. The huge, hard, painful stool or the diahorrea! :|

MSG's picture
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I noticed the anal pain again a few days ago and immediately made a connection: I had been sitting on a fairly high stool with a small round flat wooden seat. I think the seat was too small to give adequate support, and the muscles around my anus were trying to compensate. I got up, walked around (my students were taking final exams), managed discreetly to massage the area (I'm sure it looked like I was scratching an itch back there, if anyone saw it), and felt the pain gradually lessen. I'll not sit on that stool again for any extended time.

David Brown's picture
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I wipe with cheap toilet paper that falls apart as it is grooming my ass and I wind up wiping with my finger that has broken through the weak tp fibers and my nail usually scrapes my friend.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I got major hang time when i jumped out of my window one time.

wtf gay...'s picture
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I just took a shit earlier, but as i was wiping I hit a weak sensitive spot in my ass while wiping and it started to bleed a bit. I got worried as not sure if I wasn't going to get an infection or not. Haha, but I think I'm fine.

Bilgepump's picture
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Who's shit did you take? Did you have permission to take that shit? Why would you take a shit? Were you out because you underestimated your need for shit for the weekend, so you borrowed one from someone else? Are you now in a shit deficit? Is there interest due on the shit you took?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

ass_onfire's picture
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you guys kill me

HERSHEY HIGHWAY's picture
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After a meal at my butcher friends house that entailed enjoying four kinds of meat, I woke up the next day feeling ill. To cut a long story short I had pushed my little hershey highway to the brink and ended up in hospital. I thought for years my abdominal pain was hereditrary as my anglo family shoveled down antacids after every stodgy meal. Turns out my pink and brown sock was shagged and doc on call souvenired a couple of feet. Ever since backing one out has been aan ordeal- going into labour with a bum baby after every meal. I used to enjoy a good sh*t now I am like a little girl on a first date all frigid.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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used to love a crap now too scared of that big brown bear jumping out of the cave

MSG's picture
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I haven't been able to wipe as clean as I'd like when pooping at work (school--I teach), and it now feels like I may have a tiny fissure; it hurts a little after pooping. I did my Noxzema cleanup afterwards, but I can still feel a slight pain maybe half an inch down and left of my anus. Maybe I'll get a little jar of Noxzema and take it to work.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Just take it in the ass a few times and it will be all fine.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i have had diarea fro the past 2 days and my anus is sore it feels like it is open all the time

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Perhaps the all-time funniest thing I have ever read:
http://www.zug.com/scrawl/analbob/analbob2.html

james shit's picture
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i took a dump the size of mount fuji my anus is bleeding and the prag is massive

Crap Muncher's picture
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how come when if i wake up really early in the morning to go somewhere or to work, my stomache hurts ALOT and i I sit for an hour, shit a little every 7 minutes or so? pretty wierd.. I think i need a colonoscophy