finally did a google on it and found this wonderfull poop page. pooping, walking and streaching, have been my reliefs untill now. But i got some new ideas on this page... thank you so much. btw the thing is even on wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proctalgia_fugax

Never thought I'd get ass cramps..but I did last year..like many others,during my period.Horridly painful. I tried keeping my a-hole relaxed (open) 2days before getting and during my period..Might not be a good idea if you have hemroids...It worked for me and I'm ass-cramp-free for several months now :) Hope it helps someone else too. Good luck

I've had these for years and didn't have a clue. Usually strikes in the middle of the night.

First I thought it was bad food. I'd usually try a regimen of taking a poop and a piss thinking that would relive the pressure and pain. I even tried masturbation but that only seemed to make it worse after finishing. I tried the hot bath and just gentle rubbing the painful spot. Sometimes it seems the pain moves around...does that happen to others?

My two solutions are to take a Gas X pill...hoping it's just too much internal gas build up. That helps about 60% of the time. The other solution is a pain pill. I have Lortab for my migraines...so I pop one of those suckers and I'm good to go.

I asked my doctor about this (before knowing about this website and the official name) and he didn't know what the heck I was talking about. Next time I go, I'll be able to educate him. Thanks poop report!

LOL at some of the posts in here. I can offer some helpful advice to anyone suffering in here. First of all what the &*%$ are you all eating?? If you have trouble going, eat less and make sure its fibre. Also increase the water. And cut back the coffee and alcohol. Thats all thats needed. Nature didn't want us to eat hot dogs and mars bars.

Anon wrote:"Nature didn't want us to eat hot dogs and mars bars." This, of course, is utter bullshit...if nature didn't want us to eat hotdogs and mars bars, they would explode before they got to our mouths. In fact, thats all I eat, and I'm regular, punctual, and only slightly brain-damaged.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I've had horrifying ass cramps for years now. I get one once every three months or so. They always wake me up in the middle of the night, and the only thing I can do is pop 5 Advil and wait it out. They are CRIPPLING.

OMG! i had ass cramp once okay? it was a horrible experience and don't want to experience it again. I can't walk properly (near-crippling)I thought i was gonna die. all I can do is fall down on my knees and suck it up.

I still got a fruitful life ahead of me and I don't want to experience it 6 times a year. LIFE'S A BITCH. There's got to be a reason. why me? why us?

Oh! I'm female below 20's. I experience it a week before my mensturation.

I get a debilitating pain. First experienced 10 days after forceps delivery. I have to find somewhere to sit down as soon as I feel it starting to come wherever I am (muddy field:tube station tunnel:Trafalgar Square). I cannot walk talk or stand. Feel blood draining from my head - colour goes too - pain extends to abdomen - urge to poop but feels as though its not from the right place and if I manage to get to a loo I invariably don't need to go . Pain lasts about 20 minutes. I am never woken by the pain and I dont get it if I am sitting or lying still just walking. This seems to make me different from a lot of the others. What is wrong with me?

Nitroglycerin ointment!?! Holy exploding buttholes Batman! It sounds like something a super hero or James Bond would have in his, you should pardon the term, "arsenal".

Now to the matter at hand: I'm glad to know these terrors have a name. I used to have them after taking a dump. I learned to keep the enema bag in the vanity so that it was handy. I would pour quite warm water in it and give myself a bit of a flush. The warm water relaxes the spasm almost instantly.

Nitroglycerin ointment you say. Really?

I've had Proctalgia Fugax since 1995. I relieve the pain in minutes by taking a potassium supplement (I don't go ANYWHERE without a bottle of potassium) or by eating a banana. It works EVERY time.

At the very least, trying it will cost you a bunch of bananas.

I'm a guy and I get these too. BRUTAL. We call them charlie holes (like a charlie horse, only a little higher...) I am having one as I type this. They used to only come at night, now I get them any time, usually one every two or three months. Stress seems to be a factor. I eat plenty of fiber, so that's not it. I'm going to check out the caffeine connection and the potassium solution. Not so sure about nitroglycerine... Massage and/or a good poop usually help.

I'm sure there's no research into this issue, as it's relatively rare and ultimately such a minor pain in the ass (har!), but I wonder if we couldn't assemble some anecdotal evidence about causes.

I know sex is a factor. I'd say I get one in the middle of the night about 3/4 of the time after having sex. And the more intense the orgasm, the more likely the proctalgia, it seems. A definite turn OFF.

Glad to have found this.

Cured! I got another one today and decided to try the potassium thing. Ate raisins because they're super high in potassium (like 3 times bananas) and the cramp went away in under 2 minutes. WOW! Thanks, Poop Report! You're pooptastic!

THANKS FOR THIS WEBSITE I CAN FINALLY PROVE THAT BUTT CRAMPS ARE REAL. I STARTED GETTING BUTT AGO WHEN I WAS ON MY PERIOD AND MY ASS WAS SUDDENLY STRUCK WITH A PAIN ASS IF I WAS SHITTING BUT IN REVERSE OR SOMETHING IT WAS AWFUL. IF THEY STRIKE WHEN I AM WALKING OR BEING ACTIVE THEY STOP ME IN MY TRACKS AND I AM CLENCHING MY ASS CHEEKS FOR THE NEXT 5 MINUTES PEOPLE DINT BELIEVE ME TILL NOW BUT THEY NOW KNOW THAT BUTT CRAMPS ARE REALL AND NOT A FORCE TO BE RECKON WITH.

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP!

Thank you all for your enlightening comments. I am 38 and have had these nocturnal beasts for as long as I can remember. Not very often thankfully, but still every couple of months. They last anything from 20 - 40 minutes and I have passed out because of the pain a couple of times. I have found that the thing which sets it off is the level of salt in my system. If I eat very salty food, then as my body gets rid of it in the days afterwards, I get an attack. So as long as I can be careful with the salt intake, it helps. I like the idea of the Potassium. I will get some or eat some raisins or something...anything that helps. Normally I am on my hands and knees with my head on the floor, breathing like I did when I was having my children. Sometimes it does strike during the day, but usually only at night. Thanks for all your brutally honest comments - some of them made me laugh!

My two solutions are to take a Gas X pill...hoping it's just too much internal gas build up. That helps about 60% of the time. The other solution is a pain pill. I have Lortab for my migraines...so I pop one of those suckers and I'm good to go.

I'm a female and I have also gotten these pains mostly when I am on my period or about to get it... but I'm not on any of the two circumstances and randomly feeling the pain a few minutes ago made me want to look it up, thanks a lot for the info!

I've gotten them before and they hurt like hell
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Russell the shitting queen

Not only have I had ass cramps but I broke me tail bone when I had my 2nd child. Just the very tip of it, now that shit hurts.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

i just finished a painful attack of proctalgia fugax. i am a woman 40s.

still hurting a touch. gotten them once in a blue moon for 20 years. they are deadly, hurt os bad. i sit on the john for awhile, no pooping, though one wants to. have before and it did help but sometimes you just can't!

after some time it eases but during it's awful awful. think we are all glad we are not alone. just want to crap out the pain.

i always get them like 4 days b4 my period....itz terrible!!!

I had forgotten this thread...I recently had an incident, playing softball. I was making a throw from the outfield, and my right glut just completely seized up...I mean that fucker was absolute stone. I couldn't even walk off the field, and it didn't relax for at least 45 minutes. It turned a beautiful dark purple (torn muscle) and hobbled me for a few days...but outside of being tender when I sat to shit, I had little residual discomfort.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Iam 29 male and i have had these since i was 15 , usually once every month or so infact i Just woke up this morning at 4am with this pain . Couple of things that relieve most of the time is while you are lying on the bed on your back lift up with your hand and stay in that position for a minute or so and the pain goes away , the other one is to get up and do a couple of exercises like up and down movement of your body and jog like you are on treadmill for a couple of minutes.

All I did was go in the waves in Destin last weekend once each day. I woke up to the biggest left butt spasm. It engulfed my left hip and leg. I had to lay with moist heat on it for 45 minutes before i could walk.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

OMG, i never had this in my life, i think it started with a pulled glute muscle then if i would bend down quick or do something like climb stairs or get off a soft leather couch it is like a bomb, you can't move i am having one right now but slight, how is potassium ? Will that work? I am sure i am low on potassium, help any answers will help i work but i am not an exercise person so i sure didn't hurt it doing that.........How could an angel get something so painful, advise please...

I had these a few times. Usually at night and very painful. I did ask a urologist once about them and he did say they aren't uncommon. They are definitely cramps. I'll be sure to try the potassium when it happens again. Thanks, poopreport!

I get muscle spasms in my buttock specifically my piriformis and I have gotten them in my anus in the middle of the night and awake. I almost cry from the pain as it is so mean.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

yes, I have had Proctalgia fugax off and on over the years- I didn't know it even had a name until I started looking it up on the net. Messaging didn't seem to help, but something else did- and I haven't seen any mention of it on the web(don't ask me how I figured this out, but as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures). If you are up for it, try- um- well, masturbation. It seems to be the only thing that actually works for me!

Ah..masturbation....the great equalizer of kings and peasants.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I cant think about masturbation when im having an ass cramp.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Can't be any worse than thinking about an ass cramp whilst masturbating!

believe me, it is the last thing I want to do when I get an episode- especially when it usually happens at 3 am! Once, when it happened during the day, I had to limp off to the public bathroom at work to "initiate the cure"! Sometimes I worry, "what will I do if I ever get in a car accident and lose both my arms?"
The pain is so debilitating, I think it would be really hard to endure waiting for a pill (or some raisins?) to kick in. At least the masturbation cure is almost instantaneous, and all-natural! My theory is that, when your foot cramps, you bend it to get it out of its locked position. You can't do that with anal muscles so easily, but an orgasm moves muscles that you didn't even know you had...I did notice that someone else using this site tried masturbation and it didn't work, so I guess it doesn't work for everyone- also, I am a girl, so I can't speak for the guys out there with cramped asses.

I just had a cramp an hour ago. I fine-analy made the connection to Google the term "AssCramp". And low and behold , we found each other. I reached another level of consciousness now that I know others have felt And know the horror as I do. We are truly cursed and damned. I am a 39 yo male that has had this affliction for 14 years. During my first 5 or so years , my cramps were only a few times a year. Now They occur almost weekly. Rough , powerful sex is the most obvious cause for me. Followed by lack of sleep, stress and sitting at my computer desk all night at work. The combination of all of the above all butt guarantees the visit of the ass vice.. For relief I would try to walk it off, visit the toilet, massage and stretch my gluts. Also, hot pads, and NSAIS. Usually , I would have to try and wait it out. Sometimes for over an hour.
Recently , I have been successful with meditating and relaxing mentally during the event. I imagine myself far out in space, far from my body. It can work. I haven't been on my side on my tile floor in a year.I look at the affliction as maybe a conscious expanding moment , it has turned me into a masochistic person. After all our bodies are doing this to us. maybe it's a metaphysical transformation visiting us to bring one to their knees, to their zero point , and the person has to accept and live with this event.
If it wasn't anal cramps , it would be some other mental load we would be handed. It is our lot..

I'm not accepting any such thing as my lot. I'm being healed.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I get some severe ass cramps as part of my monthly lady cramps. They go from my pelvis, down along through the sexual organs, vagina, and up through the ass and asscrack. OUCH! But, normal, I suppose.

I have suffered from anal cramps aka ass cramps for five years. I am not a juck food eater. I even went to the doctor and discussed this issue. He recommended a high fiber diet. I supplement my diet with liquid fiber and still I have these terrible pains. They seem to occur most often after I have ejaculated. The cramping has become so bad that I don't rarely have sexual intercourse with my wife because of the pain that follows. My doctor has prescribed me a mild muscle relax but it just makes me sleepy. This is a real issue and it isn't because I eat poorly. There is a name for this condition and it is called Proctalgia Fugax. There is no cure and all one can do is attempt to manage their pain and discomfort to relax the muscle from cramping. Movement and pressure only aggravates the situation. If one is able to run HOT water, warm is not good enough, over a wash cloth and apply it to the outside of the rectum while laying on your left side the cramp subsides more quickly. I have had cramping go for as long as 30 minutes. This may seem funny, but when you're the person going through this discomfort it isn't a laughing situation. I hope this information is helpful

Proctalgia Fugax - Latin for "My Fugging Aching Arse"

I've had about 6 A$$ Cramps over the past 2 years (41 years old). Glad to see I'm not alone, and can get a decent laugh about it. Thanks!

Put your $$ in the bank instead of your ass and it will quit hurting.

I always get the sharp shooting pain when I'm on my period. Its been happening since I first started my period at age 11. So I know it has to do with menstruation. It feels incredibly painful to where I can't move and I quench up in agony. It doesn't last long but when it comes it feels horrible. Interesting to hear others discuss it. I thought I was the only one.

Wow! I just endured one of the worst butt cramps of my life! I'm a female and, like many others, it only happens during my period. As if periods weren't bad enough!! I wish there was some sort of preventative. I am just glad to know that I'm not the only one! :)

I have had and known about these cramp for a long time. I have a method for relief that works pretty well for me, so I thought I would post it in case it works for someone else too.

Find a place where you can sit with your legs straight out in front of you, your feet against something and your back against something. If you have a wide hall that may work, or the right length of couch. A bathtub works well if it is the right size for you (this combines well with a warm bath, but if you're in a hurry just sit in the empty tub).

Press the balls of your feet firmly against the barrier there, and your back against the barrier behind you. Press with your feet as though you are trying to stand up on your toes. I usually find this makes the pain go away in a few minutes. If I don't do it it will last for much longer.

Sometimes it works better if my legs are completely straight, sometimes I need to have them a little bent. But it is important to push with your feet and your back.

I hope this can help someone out there as much as it has helped me.

I've been keeping a very private log of when my sphincter cramps (SC's going forward) occur in hopes of avoided future seriously painful episodes.
About 5 years ago, my SCs went on for 2 days and the ER kept sending my home with different pain killers and muscle relaxers. It turned out to be ulcerative colitis (ulcers in your large intestine that basically cause your colon and part of your small intestine also to swell and close). It's a pretty serious disease. I'm sharing this because if your SCs continue, you should really get a colonoscopy or talk to a GI Doctor as it could signal a bigger problem.
Anyways, I still get SCs that are unrelated to ulcer flare-ups. They are soooo brutal and I'm so glad to have found this site with some ideas for controlling the pain - thank you!
What I think causes my SCs is dehydration and/or not enough stretching before or after long runs (I'm training for a marathon and have had significantly more SCs recently). If anyone else has been trying to figure out what causes this, I'd be interested in hearing your theory...

Oh My Goodness! I'm a 15 year old female and i know what its like! It's like some of the girls said. It mostly happens on your period. For the first three days or so..and it hurts like HELL! Do you know how painful it is to sit like that having really tight cramps(me being a heavy blood flower...)around my bladder and at the same time...MY ASSHOLE HURTS like a constant sharp pain! I just do my best to play it off but damn it hurts! I sometimes have a tear or two forcefully come out my eye and i just wipe it off like nothing. And im like I WANNA GO HOME!!! Oh, and I have to sit like that for SIX EFFING HOURS!!! AT SCHOOL! but what usually relieves it is taking a dump as soon as i get home. I ALWAYS have the runs, not constipation. So its like a nuclear bomb going off in the bathroom!(hate to say that for a girl but since everyone else is...)
But hey! After i do it I'm like THANK YOU GOD!!!! Sadly I still have painful cramps afterwards that dont go away unless I take some midol..but its WAY more tolerable.Rather than having painful cramps and painful asshole cramps at the same time I can't even sit down some times I have to lower myself slowly or an ETREMELY sharp pain will come and thats when im struggling not to cry. I'll just put my head down on my desk if I can't and cry real quick then wipe the tears away like nothing happened :)

[Moderator Note] The above post has been edited for spelling and to eliminate the "text speak" and random punctuation in the middle of sentences, but the content is unchanged. Now normally I'm no Grammar Nazi, but in this case it was so horribly bad that it made my eyeballs hurt.

Dx, if the pain is so bad that it makes you cry, why haven't you told your mother to take you to the gynocologist? You should not be in that much pain. Get it checked out, would you please. My heart goes out to you.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I have anal fissures. I read that some of you guys get to go to the bathroom and get rid of the spasms. My spasms start b/c I go to the bathroom, an activity I used to relish doing two times a day. Now I am scared and scarred. Afterward the pain is so bad I see stars, and I can't walk. It is so relieving to see other people describe the pain that I feel, b/c no bobdy in my life believes me when I tell them how intense and debilitating this pain is. I lose all train of thought and non of my prescribed pain meds work. I went through a 100 capsule bottle of Advil in one week. Right now I am trying to recover enough from an episode so I can get to the pharmacy and get some Licdicane. This message board makes me feel normal.

i got this for like 5days know... it really hurts... :/ how do u make it go away? n y do i have it ?

Bleeding butt, it sounds like you need to see a doctor. If your anal fissure hurts that bad(it happened to me) then it me be so deep that it is to the muscle(happened to me). The only way to fix it is by sphincterotomy. My anal bleeding was ignored by my parents in childhood. By the time it showed it's face ugly was when I was thirty-one years old and out of town, in L.A.. I was pooing pure bright red blood when I was even pooing!
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for the recommendation on potassium! I just had my first episode during the day, I have them quite often during the night. It seemed to last forever. Or maybe it was just because I wasn't half asleep and being woke up feeling like someone is taking a razor blade to the inside of my rectum! Either way, I got online to see if I could find a remedy, I was dying... found this site.... and ate a banana....almost instantly IT HAD STOPPED!! Many kuddos!!!

Good for you. I think we tend to take electrolytes for granted when we're younger, but as we age, it's really important to keep our muscles working properly. The heart, especially... potassium is crucial for that potassium pump.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I never knew there were this many ppl suffering from this I find it can happen after sex just from the sresses it takes on your body during orgasm I don't know if others found this because I didn't read through all the posts but as far as going through this pain it happens ot me during the night especiLY codler nights ad it last for about an hour best tihng to do is show nurefen nd massage the sphincter i wud not wish this on my worst enemy i can almost say I know what it is like to give birth.

AC, define show nurefen nd, please.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

SUDDENLY from past few days i am having pain in the ass i am unable to sit,sleep or walk comfortable, i dont know a damn reason as this is first time i am experiencing it.i do drink cofee and exercise daily , but this is first time and unable to talk to anyone bout this as this is so disgusting.
any remedy ?

Yeah, I got ass cramps. But different than what most of you are complaining about on this thread. Never had them before in my life and I'm 35. The difference is that each cramp is relatively short and it happens frequently, and has been going on for the past week. Each cramp lasts for about 5-10 seconds of level 10/10 pain (I've had kidneys stones before and this pain is right up there.). My first cramp was so bad that I passed out on the bathroom floor. I can have 5 episodes in a couple minutes. But, most happen with several minutes in between. They can happen randomly when I'm just lying completely still in bed, or predictably, when I urinate, when poop is (trying to) come out, when I cough, when I try to hold in fart, when I get startled by a sudden loud noise. I can trigger it whenever I want to by clenching my anus. I'm just physically and mentally tired from all of this after a week. I've been in and out of the hospital for tests. I've had a CT scan, x-ray, a few (painful) rectal exams, a sigmoidoscopy. Doctors have not been able to find anything conclusive from these tests, which is a good thing (don't have cancer or other serious disease) and a bad thing (don't know what it is) I guess. I've been given the nitro cream 2%, which I thought helped a bit but only for a little while, the cramps still came on, but gave me some annoying headaches so I stopped it. I thought the cramps were being caused by being constipated, but after being on laxatives for 2 days straight, the cramps still happened with nothing in my colon. I've been given Vicodin for the pain, which helped, but was scared about getting constipated again, so I stopped that and started taking Advil instead. Right now, I've been trying to relax and prevent the cramps to let my little anus rest and recover a bit. I take warm sitz baths and doing anal stretching exercises. I've also been adding bananas and dried prunes to my snacks for potassium. It's been helping and my cramps are slowing a bit. I'm trying to figure out what caused this in the first place! Any ideas?

Make sure you have food in your stomach when you take the Advil, anal retentive.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I've had these cramps for up to 17 years now. It always happens when I'm in dire need of dropping a duce and have been holding it in. The pain is so intense it almost paralyzes you from doing anything else but doing lemaz breathing until it passes. The easiest way to explain it, would be like having a charlie horse in your sphinky. Worst pain I have ever felt bar none, and I have had several broken bones. Sometimes its as if my butt hole knows when I'm next to the toilet, and then I will sieze up in pain and even though I'm inches from the toilet, I cannot move until the cramp passes... All sympathies to fellow SC 'ers (Sphinchy Crampers)

I've been getting these cramps quite a bit, usually in the middle of the night but sometimes during the middle of the day. I can't predict when they will happen. If it's possible, taking a dump will usually resolve the situation fairly quickly. However, in the absence of a shit, I've found that sitting on the crapper with my knees spread an leaning forward as if I were going to take a dump helps immeasurably. What never seems to work is lying down.

I suspect that the forward leaning position as well as the pushing of a poop stretches the cramped muscle, whereas laying down puts slack back into the cramped muscle allowing it to cramp even more.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

My cramp starts out as an intense burn in the sphincter that travel up the rectal wall. It's killer.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Well, it's nice to see that I'm not alone, anyway. I just had baby 12 days ago, and in the last couple of days, I've had my first ever episodes of cramping there. Usually moving my bowels helps, but the pain is so bad it really takes my breath away. I will have to see about potassium supplementation, I'm already taking a pretty high dose of vitamins to support nursing, but I can see that I might need more. I eat a pretty high fiber diet, and have been trying to walk more, although still pretty achey after pushing an almost 9 pound baby out. I sincerely hope that this gets better soon on its own, because while I can imagine bringing this up at the doctor's office, I really don't want to have that conversation.

Glad I've found this, I also felt I was alone with this and was a serious problem.

Some tips that worked for me: I believe so far is mainly related to food and dehydration. When I eat a lot of sandwiches or drink lot's of coffe I get it more frequent. Also excersising help. So what ususally helps for me when I'm in pain:
- drink as much water as I can
- walk, jump, excersise
- sometimes helps to put cream on my finger and stick it up in my ass and massage a bit from inside
- sometimes if I feel the ned of the poop in my ass, to move a bit with my finger

So far to my experience to when it happens:
- after a very hard stool
- during night/sleeping (I wake up I'm in pain)
- lot's of coffe / bad eating / bread / any food that makes you dehydrated (like coffein, dry bread)
- lack of excersive
- sometimes I felt it after sex (not anal, I'm a hetero male) (also maybe dehydration?, I sweat a lot)

Hope this helps someone as the other posts helped me

I used to get it back in my heavy smoking,drinking, junk food soda pop eating days (I rarely have any health issues once you cut out those factors and make exercise as much a part of life as sleep,feed,fuck.)

My advice for cramps and external hemmerrhoids is aloe+ strongest capsaicin (cayenne powder) you can get. make a little paste or mix the powder in some lotion with an eggbeater or something.

I'm tolerant to it as I drink it and heavily season all my meats with it +topical use but your sensitive butts won't EVER be tolerant to it. Apply generously bare through the first 5 minutes, then 10 minutes of lesser but still annoying burning then it becomes a vicks vapor rub like tingle for about 30 minutes. During and after the tingle sensation pain is relieved and usually the cause too. Just be careful not to get it on the balls. Yeeeouch.

As for the enema's well man I can't recommend that. MAN! Better have some fatty stuff like olive oil and milk to put in there ASAP.

I noticed that applying the stuff near the hole in large strength (160k+ HU) stimulates bowel movements big time. I didn't feel any urge to go and like 3 minutes after putting it on it hits. I suggest eating lots of fruits or those little fiber bars if thats your thing prior to using as you will be able to poop out a cobra.

Remember capsaicin is FAT soluble so water is useless for removing it. Keep things like olive oil and milk handy should you get it in your eyes/upnose/ are a wussy about bum burning which is what will bring all the blood and nutrients which fix your problem btw so try n deal with that one.

Alcohol works too but I don't feel right putting grey goose on my hole and it seems like a bad idea. This stuff will cure acne right up too (it is a sunburnt feeling for 10-15 minutes like retin-A in sunlight but it goes away and once the sensations stop you can go into light without melting) + if you get a hankeering for something spicy you can lick your lips 4 hours later.

I KNOW that I am NOT a candidate for capsasin on the o-ring.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I awoke last night with the deep ass pain described in this forum, and also lower leg severe cramping and pain, although at slightly different times.

I've had the ass cramping and severe pain for years. It usually comes in the very early morning hours, 1 AM to 3 AM or so, and wakes me from a sound sleep.

My solution to alleviate the pain, learned from a medical journal many years ago, is to eat a few crackers washed down with warm water.

It works within few minutes every time.

I have never had ass cramps but if I get them I think I will modify the remedy of the AC above and try a few pretzels washed down with cold beer.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I am a 27 y.o male.

The first time this occurred was when about 20 years old and at the end of an examination period at university. It came on early in the morning and I almost passed out from the pain.

I visited a specialist and this condition was diagnosed after an endoscopy (which may I just add was a fantastic experience to go through as a young male - not!).

Over the years I have noticed that whilst I cannot eliminate the cramps from occurring, the only way to reduce them would be directly impacted by my lifestyle at that point in time.

If you eat well, exercise moderately, drink lots of water etc. - the instance of an attack reduces. What you tend to do to your body during periods of stress (drink, eat poorly, lack of sleep) can increase chances of an occurrence.

Treatments I have found over the years to have worked:

- Stimulating around the rectum whilst pacing steadily through a space around the house.
- Any kind of ointment that can - what i call - distract the pain through a burning sensation. This can include tea tree oil, strong alcohol etc.
- My most bulletproof treatment is running a hot bath and make it as warm as you can sit in. After a few minutes the attack will go. This works every time. If you don't have a bath or a lot of time you could also use a decent sized bucket and try to 'sit' in it. I find that the bath is ideal as the warm/hot water not only covers your bottom but your lower abdomen and even your privates. If anything a hot shower can help as long as you get something warm.

I would tend to agree with some of the posters on this forum that sexual organs could have an effect on Proctalgia fugax as I have had attacks after some activity. I have also found that if warm water is used as a treatment some attention to your lower abdomen and sexual organs with the water can assist.

I hope some of this helps!

I have this pain right now...And its always when I get my period. So, I dont know if it has to do with that or what... Not everytime I get my period, but I noticed that when I get them, its during my period (usually the first day or two)

AC 10.02.09 writes:
"Treatments I have found over the years to have worked:

- Stimulating around the rectum whilst pacing steadily through a space around the house."

***Hilarious mental picture***

"- Any kind of ointment that can - what i call - distract the pain through a burning sensation. This can include tea tree oil, strong alcohol etc."

I've been terrified of getting throat cramps, so to prevent them, I've been applying strong alcohol down it for years, and it seems to be working.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

OMG okay im on the pill and i missed my period for like 3 months then when i got my period i had and still have sharp pains around my bum and vaginal area sorta of like getting electricked shocked kinda?

its really painfull and sometimes i cant sit down =/

BTW im from new zealand =]

jesssss,
Sorry to hear you're a Kiwi- you have, like, my condolences.
Now, go Google Frank Zappa's song "Valley Girl", and maybe you'll realise how ridiculous that type of speech is.
Then, go and talk to your fellow countrymen and develop the other "World's Silliest Accent".

Go buy some fush & chups, get a cairn of Coke out of the chully bun, end watch Tum Funn on tillivushion.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Try Ben Gay but be careful how far you smear it !

OMG....i cant believe i found this website but im glad i did. i feel so much better knowing im not the only one

i have gotten them when i shit... but between me balls and my ass.. and it sting but goes away.. like its connected to my balls some how.. any answers???

A few hours ago I had an ass cramp! Damn I hate them. I am at work and it is so hard to cover up the problem you are having. I went to the bathroom to see if I needed to pass some poop. A little bit came out but it didn't help at all. I went back to my desk hoping that it would go away but it didn't. I had a partial erection which has not happened before. I went back and sat on the toilet again. Too much pain! I tried to go for a walk around the building but I got halfway through and the pain got really extreme. I limped my way back to the bathroom and sat down again. I was in pain for over an hour. This was the first time I got light-headed. It finally passed while sitting on the shitter. I had a banana around 6:30 this morning but I still had an ass cramp around 10:00. I am at my wits end. If I could cut my sphincter out, I would. THIS SUCKZ!!! I am a 44 year old Male and have had this issue for about three years. Every two months or so. At night, or during the day. It doesn't matter.

Just had an ass cramp after sex--and I get them once in while if I have had a good strong ejaculation. anyhow I found this and keep reading and now it is gone. I did take Vitamin pill, Ibuprofen, massage anus and a couple little shits. All good now going back to bed.

Wow! I'm not crazy or dieing! While on my period last month I had excruciating pain in my rectom. The pain was associated with menstrual cramping, making the pain unbearable. It happened in the middle of the night. The pain was awful, I was pail, shaky, and clammy. I finally laid down (fetus style) in the bathroom floor. Luckily I got to the floor before I passed out. This was the first time it has ever happened to me, I didn't know what was going on. After the pain let up, approximately 10 minutes later it came back. I had taken pain pills earlier but nothing seemed to help. I finally took pain medicine with oxycodine in it and it went away. Does anyone know what caused this? I read through a lot of the comments but I never saw a true answer. Anyway, I'm glad I googled this, now I know I'm not alone, crazy, or dieing.