I said other. For me the part about my best poop ever was that it was so long. I'm perenially jealous about all the stories on PR about all these monster logs and the best I can muster is a six inch brown midget baby. It's like being a stray cocktail weenie in a package of kielbasa. (Or, for a better gender-specific size comparison, a soft taco in an order of Chalupas. Whatever.) So when I looked down and saw a great big bowl snake, it was a pretty awesome accomplishment.

The first time in 2 months I pooped without a suppository. Finally shit coming out without shit going in first.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

There is something special about the turd doing all the work itself. Choice 3 (no push) was my pick.

Other. My best one would have to be from this past summer. I don't remember the details of the poop itself, but I felt so great because it was that one magical poop when I became a Shameless Shitter. I really needed to go and the good crapper was taken, so I took the one with the broken seat and unlockable door, plopped down, did the job, and didn't care. It was so liberating! I have been a Shameless Shitter ever since.

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[Insert witty banter here]

Other - my best would be my monster log that took me, my sister, and my sisters mate to figure out how to get it to flush. We tried bleach, bog brush, constant flushing but eventually found a metal coathanger and broker that bad boy up before flushing. The sign of a great shite

I voted "no pushing", but my best one was a combinaton of: no pushing, no smell, size (this one was about nine inches long and an inch and 3/4 thick), consistency (completley firm), painless, required no wiping, it was also a "Mona Lisa poop", and when I flushed, it got stuck in the trap. I had to run the turd chopper in there to break it up.

It was the pinnacle of my pooping career.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Healthy I, very impressive indeed. However, I just read in antoher post you take Sonne's #7. It bulks up everything. I take it twice a year also. During that period, I produce the most beautifully shaped monster shit without having to push nor for most of the time, the need to wipe. Also, the pleasure is doubled since I need to go on most days twice!!!

The best part was the relief. I have had to go so bad at times that finally dropping the load nearly produced an orgasm. Perhaps this could have been one of the choices....(relief, not orgasm).

I picked the no wipe. Ah nothing is better than dropping the cosby kids off at the pool and not having to clean up shop.

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No one is the same after I release my Methane!

I chose other because it was more than one of those options. It was bigger than normal yet required little pushing and needed little wiping. It also left me feeling empty, something that doesn't always happen.

It's got to be the complete package- ease of expulsion, no splashback, single wipe and low odour followed by a one flush exit and the feeling of having liberated 5 kilos of balast. Down Periscope!

I had to go with "other". It was all about the size on my best poop ever. I think I emptied approximately 3 lbs of crap into the toilet after a weekend of eating a bunch of fresh produce and drinking a lot of beer. It also smelled SO gross that it actually made me gag. Normally, my poo doesn't smell too bad and I'm jealous of all you "paint-peelers" out there, but this one was horrific...onions, garlic, broccoli, beer, and mustard all at once. Can't beat that.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

I'm sorry if I'm reading something into the post by El Fartismo that isn't there, but that sure reads like a bigoted remark. Dropping the cosby kids at the pool? Sorry, I'm not finding that amusing at all.

I have a dream of making a turd so nasty that the Bomb Squad has to be called in to deal with it.

I chose other because the bestest poop I had was the first painless one after my son was born.

Fourth degree episiotomy. I think that says it all.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't think anyone has mentioned the COLOR of their best poop. One of my best poops was multicolored. It had 3 distinct segments of color. I had eaten a pint of pickled beets, followed by a quart of blue powerade and a bag of potato chips, and then ate 2 homemade chicken fajitas (which always seem to make green poop!). So the turd was about a foot long, held together all the way out, stayed in one piece in the bowl, and was sporting a rainbow of color. I had to show my husband before I flushed it. I kinda wish I'd taken a picture....

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Actually, one of the weirdest poops I ever had occurred when I got a case of some sort of food poisoning after Thanksgiving. I had eaten a salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, etc., turkey, green bean casserole, and a dish of cranberry sauce.

When I got the shits later on that night, I looked in the bowl and saw lettuce leaves, tomatoes, cucumber bits, shreds of turkey, cranberries, and green bean pieces. All floating in a sea of brown water. It was pretty cool looking, but it kinda scared me too. I had just eaten that stuff less than 6 hours beforehand. And I continued to crap the daylights out of my system for the next 2 days, ending up in the hospital for dehydration :P I told my sister that story and she now calls me "salad shooter"..ha ha

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

I was at a buddies house, I really had the cramps. Him and I being long time friends this was no big deal to crap at his house. It was after that crap that I felt the most Euphoric. I was on top of the world. That is my best feeling of poop.

I picked other because I have unnatural ass ripping humongoid turds.Lots of pushing,crying,
and anesthesia.Its almost like giving birth every week..

It all starts right after I eat a whole gallon of Pickled Eggs and a whole bunch of boiled potatoes. Those bad boys gave me the farts soo bad! they were the silent deadly type, they were HUGE rippers! and along with the noise..they stunk. They could kill a small animal they were so bad. The farts ran out and the Shits came..oh boy did they come! They came and they came! I didnt ever think they would stop. They werent huge logs, and it wasnt all liquidy...kinda inbetween. Lots of people call them the Hersey Squirts..or the Scoots. I was in the bathroom nearly and hour and a half. That bowl was full of shit 2 inches away from the top! I couldnt get the stink out for months! It wasnt my most pleasent poop...but the most accomplishing feeling ive felt in a long time.

I must say the COMBO of no wipe and no push is prolly the one I speak of more than any thing else

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always curtesy flush .... i mean always

i chose other,this poop was like 20 inches and took two flushes and a nice buttering

I was traveling with my best college friend in the summer of 2002. Earlier in the week we had booked a hot-air balloon ride. There would be a long line and waiting list oo we could pay a little more up front and book an actual time for the two-hour ride. We took the latter option. I had not pooped during the first five days of the trip, probably due to the change of climate,schedule, diet, etc. Whether at our hotel, museums, other attractions, etc., I would feel full, find a restroom, sit down and try to go,but to no avail. Out of frustration at the amusement park, I sat down for at least 25 minutes, thinking that I could get my activity going, but not quite! I was brought up to be very clean about myself which means I put paper over the seat before sitting down and it becomes precarious when constipated not to get off the paper when repositioning, etc. is needed. I'm a hover pisser and about a half hour before take-off, I went in to pee. While hovering, I slipped on a sheet of wet toilet paper on the floor in front of the stool, and my right foot went out from under me. Since I had lifted the seat (friends several years ago in school convinced me to do that because they sit directly down and prefer dry conditions) I ended up stopping my fall by placing myself over the front of the bowl. Within seconds of finishing my pee and wiping, I was buttoning my shorts when I realized my opportunity to deposit my five-day inventory had arrived. I immediately placed myself on the stool (the first time in years I hadn't covered a public toilet seat)and within a minute, completely evacuated my bowels. Thorough! Complete! One hundred percent satisfying! I grabbed for the toilet paper roll and found that it was almost completely unused. I figured I would need it all and then some because of the decisive dump in the bowl. Wrong! It was one of those straight-and-downs that took only two wipes. Then we were off to the balloon ride, with no time to spare. While we were drifting over Chicago, I couldn't get the "Up,Up and Away" song that I had sung in high school chorus out of my head.

My best one has to fall under 'other': making a janitor at an all-boys high school yell at me through the stall. I have a severe egg allergy and I had stupidly eaten some of my friend's fench toast, which has eggs in it. So right during the middle of the day, when the janitiors come to clean the bathrooms, the tide came in. Big time. The gas burbling around in my intestines was making more noise than a really loud fart would have, to the point where people next to me in class were giving me looks. So class ends and I make a beeline to the nearest crapper, right across the hall. This being an all boys high school you can imagine the state the toilet seats were in. After thorough gift wrapping of the toilet seat, I drop my pants and barely make it to the bowl before all hell broke loose. It sounded like I was drowning a cow in a vat of jell-o, not to mention the smell. The "firey brimstone of hell" can only begin to compare to the sulphorous reek. Of course, I'm so busy that I don't notice the janitor come in. So, when things quieted down for halftime, I hear someone pound on the door and start yelling at me that I'd better not be making a mess in there. He actually waited until I was done to make sure I didn't paint the walls. Oh the memories!

It happened my junior year in college. I had just gotten done with my poli sci study group and was pissed as to why my boyfriend was late to pick me up. I had to shit but didn't want to miss him. He comes in 45 minutes late because he went back to his dorm (at least a mile on the other side of campus) to take his dump because he doesn't like going in the restrooms at the student union (too big, too dirty, I forgot the rest of his sad story). It was dinner hour and practically all the students exited for the dining area in their respective dorms. I told him he was a whiner. Women use public bathrooms at least twice as much as men and that we don't complain. The deal I presented:

1) he would go into the nearby mens room and
designate the worst stall.
2) if he would watch the entryway door, I
would go in, do my complete shit within
three minutes and come out with a smile on
my face.

My time by his watch was 2:21. He inspected the bowl, complete with the toilet paper I wiped with. We dated for another two years after that and he never complained about using public restrooms again.

Combination of minimal push and near orgasmic relief after depositing one held in for some time. Ecstasy!!

My best shit ever came at about 10:30 a.m. on December 4, 2006. After I left the court room and my divorce was finalized, I went directly to the ladies room, had to stand in line about 10 minutes because several jurors and trials were on break, and when I finally, got my stall, I opened my purse, pulled out a half page article and pix of my ex from our local business journal, placed it floating in the center of the toilet, and I sat down and did the shit I had been holding since before I left home. The seat had pee on it and was cold but I didn't care. In my mind, I remember recalling a line or two of the old Barry Manilow song, "This One's For You!" I flushed with relish and then went back to my office.

LL - brilliant - I salute you!! What planning! And a fellow shitter with the confidence of knowing they can hold on as long as needed! I think you'd be a worthy site member!

Lizzet reminds me of my best poop ever, a few years before hers, but nevertheless, fabulously fulfilling. My boyfriend of 9 months had not only been cheating on me, but also gave me an STD (something he continued to deny!).

I borrowed a friend's car and staked out his apartment for several nights and made special plans for the evening and early morning hours of the exact day of the six-month anniversary of our breakup. I'm 30 and typically I have my morning poop right after I get to the office. I was quite miserable the entire day before the planned "celebration". Because I'm very regular, carrying a full load of poop around the office all day was not that pleasant--and I'm sure there was anal odor from the full pack I carried throughout the day. It sure felt strange the three times at work when I sat down to pee, and ended up going back to my cubicle with my growing weight of waste.

I set my alarm for 2 a.m. and went to his apartment complex. With more than 500 units, there's usually someone coming and going, but I had my messge to leave and my anus was in agony. I walked parts of all four floors of his building to assess security and by 2:30 a.m. I knew I was ready. I had consumed 20 onces of Dr. Pepper and with the help of ample gas (my late father called it his "dispatch diesel") I squatted over, pulled down my jeans and panties, and by placing my butt up against his door,and in five secnds completed the celebration dump I had so carefully planned. It was a large, basically soft pile which at its peak was about 2-inches high. Unfortunately, I didn't have my purse and any tissues with which to wipe, but I pulled up my panties and jeans, and walked two buildings over where I had stashed my car. I drove about five blocks over to a 24/7 BP/Amoco station where I sat and cleaned myself up. Because of the looseness of my deposit, my pants were in pretty bad shape and I just left them in the trash can at the station.

I told my best friend at work about it a few hours later (yes, I had to go in or I would be docked)and she ended up buying me lunch. She thought it was a great idea and the next day put a web site address on my screen for an entrepreneurship training program being offered by a university nationally. It's aimed that those over 30 who want to start a firm around a new service or product. I'm thinking about sending my $100 deposit in!

The best part of my best poop experience turned out to be when it was over. I was plugged up with a monster turd that I thought I was never going to pass. Finally when it got about 2-3 inches out of my butt-hole, I realized that it was going to go all the way. A minute of two later, it slid out at about the speed of light, and crashed into the water, with both ends of it up on the side of the bowl. It's ironic that I thought it was going to be my worst poop experience, and turned out to be my best.

It's hard to remember the absolute best from 65 years of pooping, but one of the best had to be after a long meeting. It was a very dull academic meeting--mandatory--at a local motel that had a large enough meeting space. At the end of it I had to pee and I felt a poop coming on, but I just wanted to get home. I don't remember what the lunch had been, but it was large and filling, though by the end of the meeting it was some hours ago. Despite feeling the fullness, I went to my car to drive home. Normally the need-to-poop feeling will go away after a bit if I ignore it, only to return later. Not this time: with each mile the pressure got greater. I tried relieving the pressure by farting, and succeeded in making a lot of noise ("tooting like a brass band," as the saying goes), but the feeling just got more intense. I even changed positions to some extent on the car seat: still more intense. It did not feel at all like diarrhea; in fact, I could feel the rough hard beginning of the turd trying to break through my sphincter. Finally I got home and walked as fast as I dared to the toilet. Once there, I dropped pants as quick as I could, sat down, and let nature take its course: the monster turd started out by itself, and only as it was partway out did I need to give it a slight push. It felt huge: thick, hard, sort of lumpy, and LONG. What a tremendous sense of relief, as it slid majestically out! It was truly an exquisite feeling, one that I was reluctant to see come to its inevitable end. Finally it was out, and I was empty--in fact, spent. The whole frantic journey had climaxed with this movement. I wiped: basically clean paper. I looked: El Monstroso, well down into the hole around the bend, yet stretching up out of the water at the front of the bowl; I estimate at least 18" long, lumpy, dark brown, and probably 1.3"-1.5" thick. It seemed a shame to flush it, but I did. I think you can see why I entered "other" among the choices. I think the best part of it was the utter satisfaction of feeling that huge turd leaving me, after the long anticipation.