When your fingers accidentally contact your anus, you

// 66 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

66 Comments on "When your fingers accidentally contact your anus, you"

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

As I age, my medications change, resulting in changing my poops. Now the beginning of my poop is often hard and lumpy, but the rest is softer, often leaving a soft piece that doesn't fall off. In wiping that, I often break through the paper because it gets so wet. As before, I simply continue wiping until finished and then wash hands thoroughly. It still works.

Jack Schitt's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Call 'em out Daph!

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

No you don't.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

poopfingerlickingchild101's picture

after i take a huge dump,I take my fingers stick them up my butthole and lick them clean.Then i got into the cat litter pick up more poop and start rubbing it all over the house so my parents have to clean up the cats mess.

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points

(Methinks the Chief has had a bad experience...?)

The same goes for men, too, please! And for the same reason.

Or just eat right and have only healthy one-wipers which don't stress the tp breaking point.

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Ladies in particular, wipe that asshole extra well, I'm sure you realize that when you are doing a sixty-nine your asshole is in very close proximity to the nose of the one you love, keep that asshole clean!!!

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Call of Doodie's picture

Hey guys, a new PoopReport member here. I voted for "Get another handful of TP, and just keep going." - reason being that I wet the TP and squirt a little anti-bacterial hand soap onto it too for my initial wipes (definitely the first couple of wipes anyway), so it's not so much of a problem for me due to the soap helping out with the cleanliness. I wash my hands afterwards too (as is expected), and I also usually have my bowel movements before showering in the morning, so I always make it a habit of being very clean in both of the discussed areas by the time I'm done showering.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Yes A. Nal.....Wiping is a waste of your time, I'm sure the members of your family who have to seek medical treatment after you pass them food with your shit stained germ encrusted fingers would agree. Wash your hands for the sake of others, you selfish bastard.

Your English is a little off also, rather than "are for" you should have said "is for."


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

A. Nal's picture

Honestly, who has time to wipe, let alone wash their hands these days? I go right from the crapper, to the dinner table. That's what underwear are for.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Chief I'll have to pass, maybe Bilge would be interested. How can pork be bad I mean has this dude ever heard of BACON! The greatest mofoing thing ever!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

DungDaddy's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Peanut butt'r, ur some sort of scat freak, rntu?

No meat has a higher rate of protein synthesis in humans than swine flesh. Neither is any meat tastier. God created pigs that we may eat them with eggs or in a burrito accompanied by beans and rice. People who believe otherwise are in danger of damnation.

Seriously, why would pigs evolve the way they did - just a big hunk of meat with eyes, so friendly and agreeable when domesticated, and so darned delicious, not to mention efficient in the digestive tract of humans - if it weren't by some higher design?

I've talked myself into it: tonight, it's the Taco Van for Pork Carnitas and Chile Verde!

PS. If you touch your poop, WASH YOUR HANDS NOW!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

peanut butt'r.....If meat is gross and pigs are poison how do you explain the long and healthy lives that have been enjoyed by cultures such as the Inuits and plains Indians who subsisted mostly on meat. I think it is actually normal for poop to be stinky. Now if you will excuse me I am going to have a walrus blubber sandwich.

Mrs MC....Would you like to watch me open a door with something other than my hands???


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

If you open doors with not your hands then what do you use? feet?
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

peanut butt'r's picture

my poops are chocolate chips and lemons and peanut butter and beans and cheese and salad. I open doors with not my hands. I hide from coughs of slob ass people who don't cover their coughs. I can feel when there's germs around and avoid breathing. I don't really get sick. if I feel I might, I chew up a few thousand mgs. of vit c ascorbic acid pills and it kills it off before it can settle in... tomorrow is too late.

so my poops are basically sanitary. so I don't even care that much. but I still wash off my fingers. I heard in India they wipe with one hand and eat with the other. seems a slight bit foul if u ask me... but its true as can be.

oh yeah PS... if ur poops stink ur killin urself. meat is generally gross. pigs are poison. stank poop means ur food was imbalanced for ur body.

make organic pooples not war!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I like to do "crazy shots". While being spun around on a bar stool chug a bottle of grain alcohol and eat a habanero.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I do a woman shot. No lime in the eye.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I like to do "man shots". Drink a shot of tequila, snort the salt and squeeze the lime in my eyes. It really gets you going at happy hour. But soak my bloody fingers in it? That's plain crazy.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I prefer a salt and lime juice scrub to keep the bones white and lemony fresh.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

That's a good household hint there MMC. I'm sure people across America will be walking around with bloody (but germ free) nubs tonight. I would go one step further and splash them with some aftershave as a final touch.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I find that steel wool and bleach work wonders when my finger touches my hiney hole. I feel that if I scrub until the first 2 layers of skin come off I can be halfway certain that I got the poo germs off.....but just to be safe I'll scrub till I see bone next time.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Rim Runner's picture

Obviously I haven't finished wiping yet, so I usually wipe it off on the next wad, remembering which finger/thumb caught it and which side, and then continue wiping until I draw more blood than poop residue. At that point I flush and then proceed to wash my hands. First concentrating on the aforementioned digit which had the point of contact and then doing an overall cleansing with soap and water. I do however try not to sniff the fingers in case I find it appealing.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

DP, "picking your nose" was such an obvious choice it would not have made sense to list the rest. Nothing like a hairy nostril to scrub off the butt butter.

crysta1544's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It just seems instinctive to sniff the fingers after coming in contact with anus.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Anyone who enjoys the smell of their own farts would, I am sure, smell their finger.
Cheryl Crow's recent comment about wiping with one square of paper makes me think that she must smell her finger quite often.

--------------Eat chiles and feel the burn!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

chocolate finger anyone?'s picture

well when my finger accidently slips right up my anus i would smell it then clean it off with soap and a scrubbing brush even then your finger still smells of raw fart so you gotta wait 3 days or so till it dont smell anymore!
and try not to bite your finger nails -.-

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Hey, why isn't "Pick your nose" one of the options?
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Sometimes when I wipe my finger goes through or past the paper and touches my anus. Not a big deal; a little bit of poop on a finger is easily washed off. I continue with my wiping until I am finished, including wiping the finger that touched my anus, then I wash my hands thoroughly. In fact, after every bowel movement, whether I touch my anus or not, I wash my hands thoroughly _before_ flushing the toilet so as to avoid getting bacteria on the flush handle. I do not intentionally touch my anus while wiping, but it has happened, one way or another, hundreds of times, and I'm still here. Just wash thoroughly; it's OK.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Other: I like it clean

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points

I assume this question refers to touching the butt-hole during the wiping process. I've never done that, but when I finish wiping, and the last piece of paper is clean, I always check my butt-hole and surrounding territory with my fingers just to double check. Works good for me.

Willy Belldne's picture

Am i really the only one? I love a good deep dig, then do the "Scratch & sniff" ummm! there really is nothing quite like a good deep breathed lungfull of my own unique warmed "brown diamond" sigh i like the smell of my farts too. i can go deeper into it ,cough, if you like?

monkey boy's picture

i actually do a lot of those. first, i smell my finger (i have accidentally hit my own nose with a poo finger trying to sniff it). on a rare occasion or two, i've even had to do a double whiff becuase of the unique aroma. after the initial sniff, i'll get right back to work cleaning up the ole back door. once that job is finished i'll grab some more TP and wipe the dirty finger down and flush my bizness, butt TP and finger TP away forever. then i wash my hands - thoroughly. and to wrap the whole process up, i'll go into my den and sit naked on the couch and bite my toenails. i love tina craft.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points

There is no "x" at the top right of me screen, just a magnifying glass. I guess that means that I don't touch my ass intentionally (phew, caused I was worried there for a minute).

Thanks for the heads up AB2K, I wasn't sure how to tell intentional from accidental. Now I know.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Northy's picture
l 100+ points

When I had the dreaded 'roids I had to apply cream onto it - this tended to mean running my finger across my a-hole a few times to make sure I was creamed up. This was followed by a good 5 minute washing of my finger then sniff to make sure I got rid of any dirty germs

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points

hey, i don't want people thinkin funny things about me FP, and ab2k, i didn't mean to ruffle your feathers if i did, haha i just thought it was funny that the question explicitly pointed to unintentional contact with the anus. i'm really surprised no one else is as concerned about getting shit on their clothes as i am. if contact occurs, that is what i am most worried about, not having a shitty finger or whatnot,m that'll wash off, but getting poo on your shirt or jeans, that would just be a day ruiner for me.

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Honestly, I think it's pointless to get up and wash your hands if you're not done wiping. Just finish up, then wash your hands well with hot water and soap, and you're good to go.

It's very rare that I get my own poop on my hands. I can't remember the last time that's happened, but I do get poo on my hands more than I would like. You see, I have a very wiggly child that is still in diapers. Sometimes, it's unavoidable. I wash my hands several thousands of times a day.

I like how you felt the need to add a disclaimer, Sharty, so that everyone knows you don't intentionally touch your anus. To use internet speak, I lol'd.

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ points

Sharty, that was no accident, call me a prude but we don't really want to hear from people who are contacting their anus intentionally. I figure if you have a legitimate reason to touch your asshole (suppositories, manual disimpaction, and the like) you're probably going to wear rubber or latex gloves or wash your hands a freakin' buttload afterwards. If you're touching it intentionally for a non-medical reason, take your mouse, move it up to the top right-hand corner or your screen, and click the "x."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Ew. Just ew. I not only wash my finger, I smell if AFTERWARDS to make sure there's no poopysmell on it.

Ack.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Anonymous Coward's picture

I recommend not contacting the anus of a stranger. It hurts when she turns around and belts you in the mouth. Owwwwww

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Contact with the anus is usually made through BM, not AM or FM.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

I've been thinking (that always spells trouble)....contacting your anus. Hmmm, does one use the telephone, shortwave radio or semaphore. Once contact is made, how is a relationship formed? Once formal contact is established with your anus, is it socially acceptable to seek contact with other anuses? Please elucidate on the societal mores and norms involved.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I think all of those who mentioned smelling their finger are telling the truth and nothing butt. (Not a typo.) Who hasn't smelled their finger after wiping from time to time as a precautionary measure?

Did I miss? Did I hit? Do I stink? Let me think. Let me sniff. Get a whiff. Yes, it's true. That's an ewwww.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Fecal Follies's picture
l 100+ points

Sharty has an echo. (Mod's note--Sorry, I saw the extra post and deleted it before I realized someone responded to the duplicate. Oops.)

I vote for "more TP and just keep going". If there's been one breakthrough due to cheap-ass quality TP or Horrible Wipe-Resistant Cement Poop, there's very likely to be another.

Those hands are going to get the heck washed out of them when the wipe-ola is done, though!

This actually happened to me Saturday night at an SCA event while someone was waiting around for me to come out of the bathroom ... argh ...

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points

question, the poll specified accidentally, wouldn't it be worse if your fingers contacted your anus intentionally and you didn't wash them? for the record, i don't intentionally touch my anus with my fingers.
usually if breakage occurs i wipe off, finish wiping, and then hobble to the sink steps away from the shitter with pants either around the ankles or clumsily pulled up with the non defiled hand. the defiled hand is held as far away as possible... and then washed vigorously, i don't want shit on my clothes. then after i have raw red hands i finish dressing and go. obviously this isn't the same routine i use in a public bathroom.

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

Poopgirl (78) -- 10.23.2006 "I finish wiping, then wipe it off, then use hand sanitizer to get the invisible poop particles off."

Hand sanitizer takes SEVERAL MINUTES to become effective (so don't pick up that sandwich just yet), and it only kills about 98 - 99% of the bacteria. The bacteria left have a resistance to the sanitizer and will not die from it. These bacteria multiply and pass on this resistance. Therefore you are left with a whole bunch of bacteria that cannot be killed by the sanitizer and are more harmful then before. So basically hand sanitizers are fine to use when you simply can't wash them but they should definitely not be used as a substitute.

WASH your HANDS.

Now, go eat your sandwich.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I think what I meant to say is that our babies are not always exposed to the same things in the outside world that we are. They don't use public restroom toilets, go to work or school, or otherwise get exposed to filth and germs. It is not as easy for us to tell what we have been exposed to on a daily basis, where as, unless our kids are older and at a daycare center, it is easier to tell with them. Therefore, it is not always as gross. Cleaning up a kid's poop becomes gross, in my opinion, after they have grown a little older and go off to daycare and school, where we are not as certain of things they have been exposed to.

That, and as adults we tend to try to be more clean, and getting shit on one's hands is most definately NOT clean. A baby can't help it and needs someone there to clean it. Grossness becomes irelevant.

_______
I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Poopgirl's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


I finish wiping, then wipe it off, then use hand sanitizer to get the invisible poop particles off.
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Poop on!

-Poopgirl

juicyturds's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
juicyturds
i smell my finger then wipe it off

juicyturds

Anomalous Coward's picture
k 500+ points

What you have on your fingers when they contact your anus may determine the answer. If for instance you have superglue on your finger, you will be walking funny for a while. If you have Bengay you will be running verrrry fast. If you have poison ivy....you will be scooting your butt on the rug like a dog.

Northy's picture
l 100+ points

I only tend to sniff my finger when I'm not entirely sure whether full contact was made with the old A-Hole - if contact is made then I wipe it off with TP & keep going finishing off with a thorough wash

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm not entirely sure what AB2K meant, there, but it has to be funny, cuz I'm giggling.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)