Do women really poop less frequently than men

// 128 Comments
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128 Comments on "Do women really poop less frequently than men"

Nine Inch Log's picture
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This was a difficult poll. Generally I poop once a day. I think I'm getting a bug though because the past few days I have been popping a lot.

As a student (and a poor one at that) my diet changes a lot, and hence, so does my poop. It makes for some rather odd situations.

Oh, idea, we should create a classification of all the different poops that we, as poop reporters, experience. Maybe we could create a poop journal.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Crissi's picture
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I'm a college student who has had squat pissing down to a science since I began high school as a freshman. I have an older sister who showed me how to do it and it makes sense not to sit on a public toilet seat.

I poop less because when I'm away from my dorm room I just don't like doing it in a public place. Although my roommate thinks I'm strange, (she thinks nothing of shitting in porta potties or even the really dirty I-80 rest stop toilets and in gas stations) I have for years "held it" until I get home. Often that means, I lose the urge/need to go until the next day.

Just this morning I skipped the first few minute of my biology lecture because I was constipated and wanted to poop in my dorm rather than in the much larger and less private restrooms in the science building. On Saturday, I was shopping at the mall and although I peed once, I held my stool because the bathrooms are so heavily used and I just don't feel good about "sitting down" unless it is a real emergency. Perhaps I've just rationalized that my poop isn't going to go anywhere if I just hold it in for a few hours.

One of the worst experiences I had came a couple of summers ago when a friend and I were at a Yankees game and the large amount of pop I drank signaled that I needed to take a definitive dump. The weather was so hot and humid and I got nauseated to the point that I finally gave in and quickly sought out a stall and sat down to take what turned out to be one very large shit. Even though I put toilet paper down first and covered most of the seat, I still felt dirty about sitting down and not holding it. I showered as soon as I got back to the dorm and my friend who thinks nothing of sitting on public toilets said I may have been raise to have some sort of phobia.

That may be but I still believe that pooping should not be done in public unless it's an absolute emergency. That's why I poop less frequently than my women and male friends.

Dainty Dooty's picture
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Having grown up in a family of five girls and three boys, I can say that males emit at least twice the volume of females, simply because they eat so much more. The frequency doesn't matter; only the quantity of output.
As a woman, I can assure you that I put out no more than one small, perfectly formed, aroma-free nugget every other day. Like most women, I am a delicate creature with a refined digestive tract. I wipe only because it's more cultured to do so, not because it's needed. One or two squares of scented tissue are all I need to restore my confidence in having a fragrant rear. When I hear of women who have experienced unfortunate fecal events, I can only assume that they resulted from duress when an uncouth male urged them to eat more than their systems were used to.
Gentlemen, we ladies are like tender flowers. How could you possibly ever think our defecatory habits could approach your less-evolved traits? I shudder at the thought. Of course, society has changed to one of less civility, but please, let's draw the line, shall we? We need not discuss this rather off-color topic in a public forum, need we? It's...it's...scandalous! (I've blushed the entire time as I wrote this!)

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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What do you mean do women poop less frequently than men? Everyone knows women poop pretty pink powderpuffs all the time, round the clock, 24/7, like little angels on the clouds.

So, no, women poop far more frequently than men to keep our environment lovely and fragrant and pastel precious.

Any questions?


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Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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TBW, I think you need to use the restroom because you're full of crap.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points
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Werewolf, there is a great concept known as sarcasm.

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Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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I know... I just utilized it! Isn't it nice how things work out?

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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I am a guy, and usually poop only once per day.

The Big Wiper (1834) -- 12.19.2006
What do you mean do women poop less frequently than men? Everyone knows women poop pretty pink powderpuffs all the time, round the clock, 24/7, like little angels on the clouds.

So, no, women poop far more frequently than men to keep our environment lovely and fragrant and pastel precious.

Any questions?

Women also poop more than men, because us men convert some of our shit into bullshit, which comes our of our mouths. That and hot air.

_______
"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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Finally a man can admit that fact! I congratulate you, healthy 1! Why is it that when we women rant about that, men don't agree with us? It's crazy!

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

runninggrrl2's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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I know I poop more often than my husband does, but when he does poop, the quantity is enormous. I think it's because we have such different bodies and lifestyles. I eat lots of veggies and fruit, work out a lot, and have a small body. My husband weighs twice as much as me and eats entire pizzas at one sitting.


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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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Normally I poop at least twice a day, but lately things are working a little slowly due to the fact that I'm pregnant with lil' shitwit #2 (who we also found out is another boy!! - thought for sure he was a she!). But when I'm not prego or on antibiotics or taking pain killers I can usually produce some turds about 2 or 3 times a day. Hubby is the same way, but maybe even more often than me sometimes. We both love to shit and are not afraid to shit when the need arises.


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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Chuck's picture
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In the mornin', in the evenin', ain't we got fun... . Twice a day it is.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooperb 9000+ pointsc 8000+ pointsd 7000+ pointse 6000+ pointsf 5000+ pointsg 4000+ pointsh 3000+ pointsi 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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I did a little math. Here's the breakdown by gender thus far:

Men 2x+: 40%
Men 1x: 44%
Men -1x: 15%

Women 2x+: 26%
Women 1x: 38%
Women -1x: 36%

So there you have it. Women poop less than men.

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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The women who voted on this site poop less than the men who voted on this site, I think you mean. However, it would make sense that we poop less than men; we, unlike many men, don't eat a whole restaurant's worth of food in one sitting.
Look at how many people voted. Apparently we have a lot more men than women on this site...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Recto Magnifico's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Werewolf, you're going to find this shocking, but for some unknown reason guys seem to find it a bonding experience to share stories of gas and crap with each other. Yes, it's true, we're afraid to show affection to each other, but a very manly substitute is found in the reverent, sincere statement, "Dude, that's awesome" when another fellow relates a story of how he cleared a church with a fart, or dropped trousers in a KMart and laid a loaf in the men's fitting room.
Women, mysteriously, find other things to talk about when they're together, and at least on the surface they feign disgust with men who seem bent on telling them about the supersized, corn-laden turd that they just jammed down the drain.
You are the exception, not the rule, as you're now learning. We need more like you.
Now, let me tell you about how my life changed recently when I started eating that hazelnut bread. You won't believe when I describe the amazing expanding turd I took this morning.....


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Livin' La Vida Caca!

Livin' La Vida Caca!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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Ooh, doo tell. I love stories.
Seriously, if that's the beginning of a real story you have, I'm sure we'd all love if you submitted it. I submitted a story entitled "The Christmas Showdown" like three weeks ago and somebody (ahem, Dave) hasn't put it up yet. At this point, I won't be offended if it's never put up, I'd just like to know why I haven't gotten a response about it at all...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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My girlfriend, the colonically challenged Miss Hermione, owns a mail-order catalog company which sells, well, shall we say, nice home accessories. One of her best-selling items is monogrammed toilet paper, and at Christmas, she adds a line of Christmas toilet paper. I ordered some this year, and Hermione called me, saying with disgust in her voice, "I hope you're not planning to use this in connection with some of your bathroom humor." [Of course I was.]

"Sweetie," I reasoned, "why do you think most people would buy it?"

"Well," came the retort, "my customers only want their bathrooms to look festive for the holidays!"

I'm sure, m'dear; I'm sure.

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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If they really were trying to make the bathroom festive, wouldn't they use something a bit more obvious than toilet paper? Last time I checked, toilet paper was used in Halloween festivities, not Christmas. What, are we going to TP our Christmas trees this year?

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

freddy krueger 16's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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On the men vs. women debate, I agree to the fact that whoever eats more, poops more. Since I'm a man I can attest to that. I eat a lot and therefore poop pretty damn frequently.

fred kruga!

freddy krueger 16's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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It has always been once a day. Enough said.

fred kruega!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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werewolf poopin...: there is a backlog of stories to be posted on the Front Page. It can often run behind several weeks. Dave-O gets tons of material all the time--some of it unpublishable and some repetitive--but sometimes he just gets overwhelmed.

PR around Christmas has always been characterized by either reruns or the assembly line on the Front Page temporarily frozen in place until the New Year.

Don't get discouraged if something of yours doesn't show up right away. Just keep submitting interesting material.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
l 100+ points
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That explains that. I was afraid my stories were just crappy (and not in the good way). Just today I submitted a story about a cat running around and spraying poop all over the room. I really hope you all enjoy it if it gets put up.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Ana Lee Ficksatid's picture
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I really believe there should be separate sites for women and men. I mean, there are things we gals would like to discuss without those hairy-assed near-apes listening in, aren't there, girls? I'd like to describe how my kulo looks like a dark tan asterisk, but all that would do is serve to inflame the passions of some of those 1,000+ post beasts who lurk here trying to pick up us women who aren't retentive about their exquisite poopholes.
Ugh! Men are disgusting... it's unfortunate we haven't found a substitute for them!

Grumpy's picture
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Thanks to my laptop and wireless, I was taking my daily grumpy as I read this. And although 7:15am is my usual time, kids opening presents broke the cycle for one day...so today's 2 day load was more than sufficient to keep wife and kids not only out of the bathroom but on the first floor for the entire meditation.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Well, what's stopping you from creating that site? Let us know when you have it up and running, okay?

queen of SHIT's picture
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Men shit more than women, huh? that's a load of bullshit. I'm a small built 16 year old girl and on average I produce 3 to 4 decent sized, mounds of shit each day. I guess it just depends on the person. I eat a lot so obviously I shit a lot. But I don't agree with people who say that women shit less than men.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Sorry, I poop less than once a day most of the time. In fact, I may not go for more than three days. It's not that I'm embarrassed about it or that I'm holding it in. I just don't have to go. Can't disprove this myth with my ass.

_______
If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I have the attitude of Crissi's roommate. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Staying in your dorm room because you're close to crapping time is INSANE as is all the seat-covering at the ball park. My only turn-off is urine on the seat, and as with most women, I feel that can be easily wiped off before you sit down. Women like Crissi obviously can't be happy people going about their daily business being afraid to crap or pee in public. I have a very traumatic question for Crrisi: what are you going to do when you eventually have a job that requires you to be in a large office tower or on the road eight to twelve hours a day? When you eventually have kids, will they be freaks too?

Practical Patti's picture
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I'm in college, a science major, involved in student activities, and I work a part-time job. My problem is that I have a boyfriend who is two years younger than me and he has some of the same attitudes as Crissi about using bathrooms away from home.

I've had male friends tell me they see him put three or four layers of paper or the toilet at Pizza Hut and when he picked me up at the airport when I flew back to campus after break, he had to move his bowels but the held it for the 90 minute drive back to campus. I couldn't believe it. We stopped once at a truck stop so I could pee and get something to drink. But he is reluctant to sit on a public toilet when he sees that a cleaner dorm one will be available in a few minutes. Holding it in like that can't be good for him, but when I mention it, he says this is the way he has been for years.

Whether it's peeing or shitting, I go as soon as a restroom is available to me. I select the cleanest stall and don't worry about sitting down. My only problem is that sometimes I forget to check on the toilet paper's availability, but that only means I need to go to an adjacent stall to sit and wipe. My boyfriend his so many good leadership qualities but I just don't understand why he's so scared of a public bathroom. My mom says that women are suppose to be "fastidious" and not the guys. She can't figure him out either.

I used bathrooms away from my dorm three times today and gave it little thought. Why is he so traumatized by it? He definitely defies the adage that men poop more frequently than women.

Bashful Pooper's picture
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I don't know why it is but I guess I side with Cassi. I'm a bashful pooper when I'm out in public. I can squat piss by hovering over a toilet like the best of them, but when it comes to pooping, I usually just hold it until I get home from work. I work in a factory, the bathrooms are old and grimy. In a couple of the stalls on the metals side, you can't even see what you are sitting in because the light is so subdued and and the seats are black. Also, we have some women that will just go in and sit for five or ten minutes just to get off the floor and get a break. You can tell because they just go in, plop themselves down, and there's no noise out of the toilet paper roll and, of course, there's nothing for them to flush. Some of the younger workers--who can start at 18 or 19--are the worst offenders. When I have to poop I hold it until I get off at 4 p.m. and I go at home. The toilet is way cleaner and I am a lot less stressed. I pee once each day about noon, but I don't directly sit on the seat to do it. My metals partner, who is right out of high school (a drop out!) excuses himself to take a shit at least twice a day. He's gone about 10 minutes each time. He seems to enjoy crapping at work. I'll pass. I think its gross!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I'm a 15 year old girl and I'm pretty slender and athletic. I have very unique bowel habits. During weekends/breaks/summer, I go once every day, once every other day, or even once every three days or so. During the school week, I go once or twice a day. Also, I try to go at home but if I have to I do go in the school bathroom. I think it's because I am more anxious at school. I do not really have an opinion on girls and guys and shitting. But I do agree on if you eat more then you shit more. It just makes sense!

freddy krueger 16's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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You know, I honestly don't think gender matters when it comes to how frequently people poop. As was probably said before here, it entirely depends on the individual. Their own digestive system, the way it digests food, and how much food they eat makes the difference.

The point is, it entirely depends on the individual, not gender.

Custodial Matron's picture
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I have been a custodial matron in a public high school for 34 years. There are more than 2,500 students in my school, which is one of the largest in the state. While the restrooms are thoroughly cleaned once each evening, it is my job, among other things, to make regular visits to each of the 13 girls restrooms every couple of hours to make sure there is adequate toilet paper, overflowing stools are dealt with, the soap dispensers haven't been vandalized and, in general, the restroom is operational. In the past two years, I've had graffiti patrol added to my job. That entails checking every door and partition for gang-related, lesbian-related or otherwise actionable or offensive messages that are left. All major messages are photographed by me and given to campus security.

I believe the girls are pooping more frequently now than in the '70s, '80s or most of the '90s. I don't know the cause but more are using the bathroom immediately on arrival to school before first hour. All too many are leaving what my colleagues and I call a "calling card". An unflushed stool. Also, in the past few years more are spreading toilet paper (often way much more than necessary) on the seat and they wipe and think nothing of leaving it and their shit for someone else to flush. All to often I have to flush in one visit 10 of the 12 toilets in each wing. There's also another spurt in pooping 6th hour--immediately after lunch. There's more to the cleanup at this point because a larger number of the students use the 35 minute break to urinate and that means a couple of complaints each day about urine on the seat and a lack of toilet paper. It is during this part of the day that we have our largest vandalism problems. Idle time can be dangerous!

I've also found that the freshmen and sometimes sophomores use the bathrooms more frequently and they tend to be the most abusive. I've been doing my maintenance checks 8th hour (the last period of the day) and after school when groups of girls have walked in. One may have to urinate and the others will wait. Often I've heard "I need to take a shit but I think I'll wait till I get home" so there's still some that prefer the privacy of home. The many students who stay for athletics or school activities don't have that choice, but they tend to be the most courteous and overall respectful. They pick up after themselves!

Stu-Co Chick's picture
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Being a member of our Student Council, I spend up to 16 hours a day at school with my classes, after school sports and other activities. On the average day I pee three times or four times (depending on how much pop I drink!) but I have not yet once pooped at school this year. It's difficult to express but I just don't feel good about sitting down on the school toilets to poop because I'm able to pee by hovering. There have been times during team practice when I've felt like pooping but I hold it until I get home. Then I have one very quick and satisfying bowel movement. I've always been reluctant to poop in a public place. On the other hand, my boyfriend will frequently excuse himself when we're walking in the hall to lst hour and go in and shit. He thinks nothing of sitting down on the toilet at school, but the thought of it just grosses me out. He says there's nothing wrong with shitting at school, but for me, I'm going to continue to hold it. My kid sister, who is 12, feels the way I do about public toilets. She said she went all five days at church camp last summer without moving her bowels;when we got home she had to try three times to get it out because it was so large. My boyfriend thinks that is hilarious; my mom says "holding it" is good experience for when we are traveling and clean facilities are not available. My best friend on Student Council goes in regularly every two or three hours and sits down directly on the seat to relieve herself. And she thinks nothing of it.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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"Holding it" is not good for you. I'm sure your mom is a great lady, but she's doing you a great disservice by teaching you to do something that can be harmful to your health. Holding it in for five days is not good for you, your sister, or anyone. It's not something that toughens you up or makes you stronger and you're going to regret it in the future when you have to rely on medication to relieve your constipation. If you train your system not to go, it will have a hard time going and going right when you're older.

If you're that worried about cleanliness, take some dissinfectant wipes with you everywhere you go and wipe the toilet seat with them. If you're out camping an there are no port-a-potties, get over it and poop behind a tree, then wash your hands. Your ancestors did it, and they obviously survived long enough to make sure you made it along.

An Average Shitter's picture
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I'm an averge 16-year-old, not involved in any student activities, other than getting credits so I can graduate and go on to the next level and get more credits so I can graduate. However, I can sympathize with Stu-Co Chick. The toilets aren't always clean at my school and the jocks and students in activities are going to be using the facilities much more than the once or twice a day that I do. However, when I feel I need to move my bowels or pee I get right in there. If that means getting a pass from my teacher, I do it. If that means waiting in line during a class passing period, I do it. If that means, going at the end of lunch or the end of the day, I do it. I have never worried about sitting on the seat. I just do it! Sometimes there's some pee splattered, but I just wipe it off before it I sit down. I NEVER HOLD IT until I get home. Just yesterday, the stool I had chosen (all ten others were in use!) was stopped up but I still sat down and contributed to it because....well, that's the way I've always been taught to do it. I have some friends like Stu-Co Chick who will never sit on a public toilet whether it's to shit or pee. It's something they need to get over because our daily "needs" come first!

loaf pincher's picture
l 100+ points
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if it's not 2 a day it's not me

Brandon the patient's picture
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so this is all interesting. i am a college student and a human sexuality major so i know that all bodily functions are normal and even the interest in human defication is normal. but i am also a cancer patient and at the age of 22 i have never "pooped" everyday. alot of people say they normally do every day or more than once a day, i dont and my doctors say its very normal. id say i poop once every 2-3 days, and its not painful or abnormal. my roomate is one of the people that goes once and even more than once a day, and im just not one of them, im also not a very gassy person at all, compaired to all of my guy friends i pass the least amount of gas from either end

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Crissi's very eloquent story at the top of this thread is typical of so many men and women. I'm not criticising - that's just the way they are. I was just the same when I was at school. But it explains so well why people have problems in later life. How do people lose that inhibition, embarrassment or feeling of dirtiness? I don't know the answer for everyone. In my case it was the power of the mind. I had to say to myself 'this is crazy, I want to shit, I'm going to shit! It's natural, and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about' And it took me a long time to get over those feelings.

Diva's picture
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To me the most telling part of Crissi's post is: "Perhaps I've just rationalized that my poop isn't going to go anywhere if I just hold it in for a few hours". She takes the road of least resistence, apparently going back about five years, because her older sister showed her how to squat piss. I sit down to pee three or four times a day, and in hot weather when I'm drinking more, even more. Last night, after getting off work at 5 p.m. (and having peed four times at my manufacturing plant where I'm a receptionist), I was at my first bus transfer point when I got my first feeling that my bm was ready. Instead of rationalizing that I'll be at my apartment in a half hour, I just walked across the street to the Texaco station and got it over with. It was easy for me because that was the fifth time I had SAT DOWN away from home that day. If I had STOOD four times and then needed to sit, using Crissi's thinking (and this is scary!) I would hold it in until I got home. I don't, by the way, worry about sitting on public toilet seat and I think the members of the "papering patrol" just shortchange those users coming in an hour or so down the road. We have a salesman at work who has great analysis for people like Crissi: "another graduate of the Wacko Jacko Academy."

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Diva, I'm sorry, I just don't think that the Wacko bit is fair! This site tells us that there are so many kids (and older kids!) who just don't like doing it is school, public toilets, etc, for various reasons. As I've said, I was like that till I was about 20. I just felt embarrassed about pooping 'in public' and was ashamed to do it - totally stupid I know, but lots of us were the same. It was nothing to do with hygene in my case, but it would have been if I'd listened to my mum. If I'd told her I was going to take a dump in a public toilet she'd have been horrified and said, 'can't you wait till you get home?' I doubt that she ever shat anywhere other than her own home or a hotel. Fortunately though, I've got over that, and now I do it anywhere, but I know a few ladies of my age who still 'hold it in' till they get home. I think Custodial Matron is right though, there is a slow change in culture, and less people are shameful shitters than when I was at school.

Former Matron's picture
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Hamster,you bring up a good point: although our parents raised us with a "Why don't you wait and poop at home?" message, the students today have less inhabitions. I did custodial work during the day shift for four years at a high school before I was promoted into management. This was 1995-99. Like custodial matron, I was AMAZED at the number of girls who would be seated (almost every stall)within five minutes of us opening our doors in the morning. Also, so many of them wipe and think nothing of just pulling up their clothing and leaving their crap. One more observation and this deals with the hygiene issue. Less girls are taking the precautions to prevent themselves from sitting directly on the seat. However, I agree that there are clogging problems with the few that insist on sitting on "nests" of toilet paper and then just wipe and leave. This would not be scientific research but my Aimee is very reluctant to crap and pee at school because of all the "messes" left. She's a junior and said many of the underclassmen play around and seek to "mess up" the toilets. Therefore, the "I'm gonna wait until I get home to shit" attitude that Custodial Matron describes.

Mariah, Class of '08's picture
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It's interesting to see what the Matrons are writing about us. Me and my boyfriend have talked about our families and how rushed we are. I share a bathroom at home with my sisters, who are 10 & 7. Since our school starts at 8 a.m., I need to be first up and out. I wake up at 7 am., and because I shower before head, I don't even stop in the bathroom. I simply dress and in outta there. I do the drive-thru at McDonalds for breakfast and eat it when I arrive on campus at about 7:30. At about 7:40 I'm done and I go in for my morning crap. It takes me less than five minutes because it's ready to come when my butt hits the seat. By the time I get back into the hall, my boyfriend arrives. Like me, he showers the night before because he shares his bathroom with both a middle school brother and sister. He brings me a Starbucks which I take into my first hour class with me. He drinks his on the way and in the parking lot, so his main stop before first hour is to go in and pee. He goes in to shit right after school and then he goes to athletic practice (he's a three-sport letterman). I pee before going to the mall for my part-time job at Penney's. Unlike several years ago when the Matrons were students, don't think our class is home as much. Hence, increased us of the restrooms at school.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Good point Mariah - I'm sure this is a common situation. I'm not sure whether or not to envy your regularity though! Healthwise, probably a good thing - but I like the variety and unpredictability!

Former Matron - I just think schools should be more 'shit friendly'. Toilets should be clean, secure, well lit and regularly serviced. Whatever the reason, it does the body no good to hold it in till getting home. I know, I did it long enough!!

Poop Observer's picture
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The Matrons, Hamster and Mariah add important points to the discussion. Every student is different, has been taught differently, and handles using the bathrooms at school differently. However, it all contributes to one big problem that is getting worse. I'm going to be a junior this fall so my observations are based on my first two years at Southwest High.
Like Mariah, my friend Karen craps at school just before first hour and is usually in there around homeroom time when I pee. We sit right on the seats since they are relatively clean that time of morning. I crap at noon, usually right after lunch. I sit right down to save time and this is especially important since I lose a couple of minutes shoving paper off the seat. Several times this past year, it seemed like there were four or five LAYERS plus a bowl of unflushed shit. I tried to prevent a clog by flushing all the paper in three rounds. Then I sat down for my shit, which only took a minute because I had been holding it in for a while, and I reached for the toilet paper, and there were only two sheets left. I don't think the freshman girl after me was very happy when she went for her grab of the paper. And, because I did extra janitorial duty, I had to run like hell to sixth hour class. However, by seventh and eighth hour, my friend Emily has gotten a pass to go and has come back to our biology lab, sometimes with some discomfort, saying she's going to hold her shit because the toilet paper is all gone, the hover pissers' aim hasn't gotten any better, and that there are foreign items such as bottles, CDs and a computer mouse floating in the bowls. Emily told me once when she had to pee real bad and there was no toilet paper for the seat, she went back to class, got her book bag and used a textbook on each side of the seat for a cover.

I just think the matrons get tired of picking up, more accurately cleaning up, after young adults who should know better. My mom is a Southwest High graduate (Class of '90) and she says the problem has gotten worse.

Hannah's picture
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I poop once, and sometimes, depending on how much I drink or eat, twice a day; my boyfriend will hold his poop, even until the next day, if need be. My situation is very much like that of Practical Patti's, except we're still in high school. For example, yesterday I pooped twice at the beach and today once at the pro baseball game we attended. Compared to last year, the beach bathrooms were pretty clean (at least I didn't step in shit as I positioned myself to sit on the toilet like last year)and when I got done I told Kevin he should go in. He said it wasn't an emergency and he could wait until later when he was in a cleaner place to sit down. When we got done at the beach, I went in to pee and change, but again he didn't want to use the bathroom. He did pee, though, when we stopped for gas at a reststop on the way home. Today, I went down and peed twice at the stadium and had a full shit. Kevin went down with me once and was only in the bathroom for a couple of minutes, even though I was in a line that snaked out into the hall for 15 minutes. About all I can get out of him is that he doesn't like sitting on public toilets. I don't find it to be a joyous occasion, but it's a necessity and I've never been into the seat covering and hovering that a few of the girls are at school. I choose a stall, sit down, eliminate, wipe, wash my hands and walk out feeling relieved. Now I just need to find a way to get Kevin over his fear of public pooping. He'll eventually enjoy the feeling too!

Public Pooper Holly's picture
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More than 90% of my poops are away from home. I work full-time, take graduate courses, and have an active social life so, without hesitation, when I have to unload it's the nearest bathroom, always. I have a boyfriend like Hannah's Kevin who, until two months ago, would make up the same excuses to "hold it in." One Friday evening we were at a bar, and after a few drinks, I excused myself to the bathroom. Liquor physics me (something I learned after my first drinks in high school--but that's another story)and there was a four-deep line, so I apologized to Trev about being gone so long. That proved to be a great segue into me touching his hands and asking him why I've, in almost two years of dating, never known him to poop in a public bathroom. It turns out that his fears go back to 7th grade in middle school when while pooping in open stalls, certain boys who appeared nervous, unsure of themselves, had small organs which they tried to hide, etc. were by today's standards, bullied and harassed by the jocks and physically larger and more confident boys to the point where the Kevins and Trevs just learned to "hold it in" rather than endure the punishment. I explained to him what's wrong with the way he was treated and that the best way is to strike back and not to let something from 15 years ago impact his life today. Now Trev may be pooping more frequently than me. We stopped for gas and a six-pack last night just two blocks from his apartment. He went in and pooped. Yeh!

Bryan's picture
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Very enlightening story, Holly. And I especially feel for Hannah for her resilience after stepping in the poop on the floor of the toilet stall and still maintaining that attitude that you have to sit down and shit when necessary, even in a public place, in order to get that walking out feeling of being "relieved". Unfortunately, my girlfriend of about 18 months is nowhere near as successful with public pooping. Like Crissi, she's been peeing standing up since middle school and even when we're in relatively private places such as our university's theatre (where she does set construction and costume work)she still will not sit down to pee. We have two small unisex cast bathrooms and accidentally once this spring I opened the door,and there Melissa was peeing standing up over the toilet. When we're together and when she has to shit away from her dorm, she'll walk from the student union nearly a mile away to the fine arts building and that unisex bathroom or walk all the way to her dorm room. We've been at the Civic for concerts and Melissa will want to bypass dinner afterwards so she can get back to her dorm room and move her bowels. She will reluctantly pee at such places, but she refuses to sit down on the seat and shit. During spring break we drove back to Chicago where both of our families are from, and we stopped several times on the Interstate for rest stops. I took one huge dump one night about midnight just outside Iowa City but found there was no toilet paper on the roll in my stall. I found the same was the case in each of the other three stalls. I asked Melissa to go into the ladies room and get me some. She said that served me right for not covering the seat with toilet paper first, but she brought me a whole roll of paper. Even after she took over the driving, she gave me a lecture about all the skank things that were probably eating at my body from just four or five minutes of sitting on that evil seat! She said she had been holding her shit for a few hours but we were so close to home that a few more hours wasn't going to make any difference. We're great friends and care for one another deeply, but in the pooping department she's no competition for me!

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Bryan - due respect to Melissa, but 'skank things eating at your body' - rubbish! She's got a thing about sitting on public toilets - so have a lot of people - but really she'll do her body more harm holding her shit in!

Poop observer - I sympathise with the freshman girl and Emily! All that wasted paper and none left for the proper purpose! Mind you, the freshman should learn to look for paper before she shits! Best thing though, as I'm like Holly and do most of my dumps away from home, I usually have a few tissues in my pocket for just this situation!!

Hannah - it may not be easy with Kevin - not all shameful shitters can be converted as easily as Trevor!! It can be a deeply ingrained thing. It took me years to convert. Best just to gently persude him its better for his body, he's really unlikely to catch anything, and it is perfectly natural. And at least you set a good example too!!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I average one and a half poops per day. I guess that makes me a bi-sexual.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan