Do you also fart at the same time as you poop

// 36 Comments
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36 Comments on "Do you also fart at the same time as you poop"

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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"A fart's the cry of an imprisoned turd." According to Coprologist, this phrase originated with Benjamin Franklin, but I'm not so sure. Any other thoughts?

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Once in a while, yes, I will fart. It really depends on a lot of factors at the time of my shit. Food quality, how much air was swallowed, moisture content, ambient air pressure, viscosity, amount of time imprisoned in the bowels, etc. It does not seem to matter if its diarrhea or not, because some of my more solid turds have rattled windows in Dyer. However, I do fart EVERY time I have diarrhea.

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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i am personally amazed that i am only 22% of the populace that farts and poops most of the time. I just let them fly. I am proud to be the Thunderous Crapper. I fart long loud and proud baby.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Always, a fart is a turd, honking for the right-of-way

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Pantload's picture
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Usually a couple of farts are the red flag that I better start hustling my ass across the vast warehouse I work in or it's for sure I'll have a serious problem and end up with my namesake. A good fart after blasting a turd usually tells me to stay put, there's more on the way! And it feels great, too.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

JamieTeal's picture
l 100+ points
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I have a tendency to belch in the bathroom. I figure, if you're doing all this other impolite stuff, there's no reason why you should arbitrarily hold in gas at the top.

freddy krueger 16's picture
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I almost always rip several wet, raunchy farts before I take a dump. It may be three hours or two minutes before I do the deed, doesn't matter. An I can usually distinguish my pre-dump farts from my regular ones. My normal farts are usually very short and have minimal odor. However, if my farts smell like shit, are wet, or I can't stop farting, I know I will probably be sitting with my trousers down very soon.


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fred kruega!

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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Nothing says "must shit now" like hot stinky farts that just won't stop!

I'll ususally fart while pooping. Sometimes they are real music from the ol' ass trumpet, but sometimes they are almost totally silent. That's the kind that there is no bunghole flappage, just an open pipe straight from the bowels to the bowl!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Kesa, my husband belches while pooping, too. I don't think I've ever heard him burp whilst peeing, but often when he's sitting on the pot, he rumbles from both ends.

But I don't usually fart at the same time as pooping, unless I've waited too long to go.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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While pooping, I almost never fart. Usually, about 15 minutes before the urge hits, I have a few silent farts that smell like a cross between wet oak leaves, and rotten pumpkin hulls.

So, the silent farts are just Colonel fart, announcing that General Shit is on his way to report for duty (or in this case, doodie).
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Michael Milken's picture
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Farting is a leading indicator that the bulls are about to stampede through the porcelain market. I would suggest that you heed the advice of your analyst (even if he is an asshole) and dump everything you've got before the bottom falls out.

shitwit's picture
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HaHaHaHa, Michael M! Very cute! I'll take that advice to the brown bank!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Richard The Turd's picture
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The farts are the final negotiation stages for releasing the hostages from Prison brown eye

Here I sit all broken hearted, went to shit and only farted

Ass Rocket's picture
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I let the pressure build then . . .
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!
I try to see if I can get the "soft serve" effect.

loaf pincher's picture
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always remember a fart is just a turd honking fot the right of way and like bad drivers it usually gets impatient and runs the light anyway

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I just wanted to know if anyone here farts after the poop. My fiance thinks i am strange that i fart before i shit. As he puts it, you have to let the cork out before the gas can escape...

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points
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This is very similar to another question on the board. Anyway, I usually don't do any significant farting when it's turd time. However, I usually have about a 30 minute prior warning fart that I'm going to try to start saving to release at about the same time as my turd buddies. I don't know if the fart will arrive immediately before or after the turds. I'll be satisfied either way.

turdfan's picture
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Well as a follow up to my previous post, I managed to save my warning fart this morning, and lo and behold, it arrived simultaneously with the load of turds, blasting them all out at once.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Most of the time my farts are the silent but deadly warning that the brown bomber is on his way. Occationaly I'll fart during in between logs to clear the road of debris.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Most mornings when I get up I fart within minutes; then it is a while before I poop, anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. Sometimes the farting is fairly constant, but more often it is just a toot or two, then a settling down to wait for the poop to arrive. I rarely fart during a bowel movement; when I do, it is usually the signal that a second wave of poop is descending and I'd better stay put on the pot. More usually, that second wave comes without fanfare, just a renewed feeling of fullness, without a fart. Very rarely, I fart after the b.m. is done.

vegetarian pooper's picture
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I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

during my afternoon poo today(I poop times times a day and again at night)..I farted so loud it was like a firecracker exploding on the 4th of july!

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

hayley's picture
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I always fart before my bowel movement happens. Once I start farting I know it won't be long that the turds will soon be plopping. It's like clock work. As soon as I get to work in the mornings I gotta shit. I do pee every time I poop even though it doesn't even feel like I gotta pee.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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When I know I have to go to work I always have to shit, too. Along with the nausea and anxiety attacks its how I know it's time to start the day.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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I have been known to fart so loud it actually stops conversation in the mens room and then of course I always sayyyyy........................................
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AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

LukeC95's picture
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yes, expecially in public toilets!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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When I poop I always fart a lot, not small farts but giant wet smelly ones. Usually I have to change my pants, then I have a few escapees during the BM (escapee- a fart that slips while forcing poop. often smelly).

for chisters sake's picture
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you know you are finished going poop when you go pee...

Anonymous Coward's picture
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All I know is when Im in a public bathroom I try to fart and shit as loud as possible. And smile while Im doing it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Well AC, So that's all you know? It sounds like a minimal amount of knowledge to go through life with, I can imagine the following conservation.

Judge: Any idea who committed this murder Mr.
AC?

AC: I try to fart and shit as loud as possible when I'm in a public toilet, that's all I know!


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Hey Chief, if I was going to knock off a bank, I'd rather have AC for a partner than someone who would leave a trail of pork rind crumbs.

Anonymous's picture
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Most the times I do fart while pooping and it just all comes out so fast. Usually when I fart while pooping, its explodes all down in the toilet and it burns alittle sometimes.

Anonymous's picture
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A fart is just a prelude to a turd.

Anonymous's picture
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Some come here to sit and think. Some come here to shit and stink. But I come here to scratch my balls and read the writing on the walls.

Anonymous's picture
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Farting with fecal discharge is like icing on the cake. You wouldn't be satisfied if you got an ice cream sundae without the whipped cream, cherry, hot fudge, and peanuts, right? That feeling of non-satisfaction is the same as what I feel when my turds exit gas-free. My bowel wouldn't feel empty. A fart with a turd means it's a great day!

Anonymous's picture
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Ugh. This is hilarious but I can't believe poops are toxic and so smelly. I rarely fart and poop. However sometimes my tummy hurts after pooping.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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So you say you rarely poop anonymous? I think you're full of shit!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!