Where is the grossest place to unexpectedly find poop

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45 Comments on "Where is the grossest place to unexpectedly find poop"

healthy 1's picture
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There should be an all of the above option.

The only kind of poop I would want to see in my bath tub, would be that poop soap. Other than that, no brown tide for me.

In the car is just as bad. I can imagine the stench in a hot 120+ degree car. Ewwww.

In my shoes isn't as bad. Shoes can be thrown away, and feet washed.

In bed is disgusting. I don't mind rolling in the dough, but rolling in the doo is just plain nasty.

The fridge is equally as gross. I keep my food in there and ABD (already been digested) food need not apply.
_______
I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

daphne's picture
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I picked the bathtub because the fridge was just too bizarre of a choice.

Incidentally, I have found a turd in my bed. "Freshness Date for a Turd" in the forums, May 2004. The horror.


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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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Oddly enough, I HAVE found poop in every one of the choices offered except the fridge, (that's just bizarro) and the car.

I voted for the car because it's my last sanctuary. If I find poop in it, I'll sell it and get a moped.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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I had to go with fridge. The tub I can just spray and rinse clean, the shoes I'd just throw away, the sheets would be goin' in hot water, and my car would have to go to the detailer.

But the fridge would have to be emptied, wasting a lot of money, THEN I'd have to clean and disinfect it, AND I'd have to go shop for more food. I wouldn't be taking any chances of E-coli or some other yucky thing taking up residence in the chill chest.

The Big Wiper's picture
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When I think of the fridge as an option, I think of Jeffery Dahmer. Is that gross enough for you?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Bunga Din's picture
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All of these choices were RANK. The grossest I've ever found poop was at a family restaurant I used to frequent when drinking. It's like a TGI Fridays called Kelseys. One night after several drinks I went to the washroom and there in the middle of the floor was a pair of huge white jockeys almost buried under a mound of soft serve. I had one of the fastest 12 drink pisses of my life and went back to the bar and called Sandy the bartender over.

After I told her the situation she dispatched some poor custodial kid to deal with it. He went in and was out from his reconaissance in record time, he called Sandy over and kept shaking his head, she seemed pretty firm with him and he went into the back and emerged later with garbage bags on each arm, and a towel wrapped around his head over his nose and mouth to deal with it. The rest of my pees for that night were deposited in the Mr. Sub next door.

Bilgepump's picture
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I have had turd in the fridge...had something wrong with me and the Doc asked for stool sample, and provided me with the "kit". I know some of you must have dealt with the "kit" before, a much too small poly glove, a very tiny specimen container, and a fucking popsicle stick. I pooped, glopped a few stick-fuls of sludge into the jar, and all over the sides (god damn it!), screwed the lid on and jammed the damn thing in the fridge until my appointment two days later. My wife, not having caught up on the events of my Dr's visit yet, opened the fridge and almost added to the chilled poop collection I seemed to have started. It took quite a bit of explaining, and showing the directions to her, to calm her down. I had to bleach the damn thing once the whole ordeal was over, and restock the whole thing as well, which, on reflection, probably wasn't a bad thing.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Toots N. McCrack's picture
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I'm holding off on voting for now because I can't decide between bed and fridge and car.

Any unexpected shit is gross, and the bed and car are the hardest to clean or throw away (and most loved). Also, is it smears or a whole load?

Fridge? Is it properly contained or just sitting there without any barrier? Working with animals, samples are kept in fridges, but stored in several layers of plastics so that there is no contact with things around it. But finding it unsuspected in my own personal FOOD fridge with nothing surrounding it, as natural as the way it was born? THAT would be the worst!

I'm also tempted to say fridge because the description was funniest: 'Just-- Why??'


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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Queen of Sharts's picture
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If I found poop in my fridge, I'd need to move. The circumstances as to why poop would end up in my fridge, might be a sign for me to join the witness protection program. Sorta like "Luca Brazzi sleeps with the fishes", I don't want to find the symbol for "Queen of Sharts eats shit", either.


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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

AlienPoop's picture
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I Agree with queen of sharts The fridge would be very bad also, It was actually a TIE for me between fridge and finding one in the bed... AlienPoop

Pantload's picture
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There's just no way a piece of crap is finding it's way into my fridge. I guess the medical description could be the only way, but that little sample jar would be triple zipplocked and wrapped in four plastic grocery bags stuffed in some small compartment that would henceforth be bleached.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

GottaGoGirl's picture
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But, Pantload, the question is not "where would you rather PUT poop?" The question is, if you were the victim of Turd Terrorism, which location would gross you out the most?

Would you be most dismayed to find caca in your Van, your Vans, your Vanity, or your Van de Kamps?

The Shit Volcano's picture
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Yes, I'd say fridge for sure. How the hell would it get in there in the first place? Unless, of course, I was at a raw food extremists house, then maybe it wouldn't be so bizarre to find it there. Some of these morons actually eat their poop thinking they'll get nutrition out of it. (I've also recently learned that the same doctor who recommends feces eating told his followers to re-eat their vomit. I've got some puking to do myself right about now!)

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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I bet the doctor that told people to eat their poo and their vomit knew that it wouldn't be too hard to end up doing both at the same sitting.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

shitwit's picture
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I voted for the car simply b/c my car is new and I'd HATE to have to find another new car all over again! I could clean just about anything else and move on.... but the car? Certain odors just WON'T leave a car - ever!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
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My thoughts exactly shitwit!

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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Last week I was in the shower and a sudden urge to fart came upon me. So of course I began to lean into it and it blasted forth. However as soon as it left I knew it was a little too juicy. My mind said uh oh then dont look behind you dont look behind you but I did and it was the Homer Simpson DOH! It was a spectacular fecal splatter pattern I must say.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Chuck's picture
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I will have to go off the board on this one and say "in someone's mouth". A feces-eating fetish is worse than gross.

ThePoopMime's picture
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there should be a other option ...... once after walking my dog I gave him a hug and came away covered in dog crap. Apparently he rolled in dog poo and I didnt notice till it was to late. Thats the worse for me I ended up with shit all over my shirt and arms. oh and I agree with Chuck that whole eating shit thing make me throw up a little in my mouth.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

Toots N. McCrack's picture
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Ha! Yes! On your loved one if you just gave them a hug and it got on you!

I was holding off on voting before becuase I wasn't clear on if it was a whole shload or just smears (which has actually happened in varying degrees-- stories for later)(and from a COMPLETELY unkown source or just unexpected one), but now that you say that, I (unoffically) vote for that!


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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Fecal Follies's picture
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Of all those horrifying choices, I went with the fridge.

GACK!


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And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

bigjesus's picture
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On my upper lip. I have drinking buddies who do a stinkfinger swipe move sometimes, and, well... you get the picture. The revenge involved fromunda cheese. Aside form that, car. Bed is gross, but understandable from a certain perspective. Like, if you're sick and have the trots and are sleeping... I'm not sure, but it seems plausible. Fridge has been explained away already. I was skeptical, but the more I thought about it, medically requested and contained poop in the fridge is not really as bad as it could be. Poop in the car? How would that occur? Maybe that crazy asstronaut lady had a shart while she was hauling ass to get to her romantic rival and it flew out of the top of the diaper... Also, I'm reminded of the first Jackass movie. Ugh.

Pantload's picture
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Pretty damn funny GGG. If I were a vic of turd terrorism I'd still have to go with the fridge. That would just stick in my mind every time I opened it's door no matter how well I would clean it. Crap is NOT food even if that's where it got it's start.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

GranniePanties's picture
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Ugh, I'd have to say fridge. I'd have to throw away all the food, including the pickle in the peanut butter ice cream jar.

Bilgepump's picture
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Uh, Grannie, that ain't no pickle, and it sure ain't no peanut butter ice cream...

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

GranniePanties's picture
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xD Thanks for the chuckle.

Crunchy Frog's picture
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I've plumped for bed but not my own thankfully. I worked in the laundry room of a hotel for a very short while and on my first day there a load of sheets tumbled down into the big metal basket that was at the foot of the laundry chute.

They looked ordinary enough until we unfolded them and found a huge amount of very sloppy stinky shit in them. Where the sheets had been folded had served to make what was already a quite considerable amount of shit look gargantuan. There was a chocolate smear of about 18 inches wide by some 10 inches or so deep. It was absolutely caked into the sheets.

They didn't need to be thrown though and I raised a chuckle when we discovered the people next to lay in them were a devoutly religious couple from the States who were over to see their family and also some preacher chap who was appearing locally.

Hanus Anus's picture
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I'd have to agree with healthy 1, that there should be an all-of-above. Lacking that, disgusting as some of the others are, i went with fridge (very well contained stool samples notwithstanging). I would be highly offended to find, say, a moist log on a plate, sitting amongst my food.
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Happy crapping! (_o_)

Happy crapping! (_o_)

loaf pincher's picture
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i would say fridge but this gives me a whole lot of ideas

Miss Simone Scat's picture
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_Church would be one. ______
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

Chuck's picture
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This weekend I opened a car trunk then found poop on my ring finger. How in the world did bird poop find its way under a hooded latch? Don't give me the Oliver Stone, magic turd theory.

poopin 24 7's picture
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Hanus Anus- you seen Garfield a Tale of Two Kitties? One of the specialty dishes is known as the Carlisle log. Can you guess what it looks like? lol

SamDamnit's picture
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On my hand. Goddamn porous toilet paper!
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

MSG's picture
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I will have to go back and vote on this one because when I first read the question I couldn't think of a time of finding poop in any of those locations. However, I have had to store stool samples in the fridge (in a big HAZMAT container), so I could vote that. The most unexpected place I found poop was in my own pants! It happened this way: I was at work and had to go. I had a fairly large, normal b.m., a little soft at the end, and managed to drop the book I was reading. I got up off the seat to get it, sat back down, and wiped myself. Then I got dressed, smelled an unusually vivid poop smell, and decided to investigate. Fortunately, I was still in the bathroom, so I simply re-lowered my pants. In doing so, I suddenly felt something moist and of near body temperature on the back of one leg. Upon lowering my underpants, I saw a decent-sized turd in them, just having rubbed parts of itself down my leg. Obviously, when I got up to get that book, a hanger-on turd fetched loose and landed in my undies. Yuck! Long and not very successful cleanup job.

Fast Down Carolyn's picture
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The grossest place I ever unexpectedly found poop was in the summer of 2006 at Miller Park in Milwaukee. As college students, my boyfriend and I went up there for a baseball gaem. By the 2nd inning, I had to pee and I went down to a restroom and a line that was considerably long. I was starting to hurt real bad, and after about a 10-minute wait I noticed mysteriously that no one had gone in or come out of oen stall and that the door was ajar. I mentally already had myself sitting down and feeling relief before I even got to the stall because the lines were moving very slowly. The lighting was very dim and to add to the problem, I had my sunglasses on. I went in, latched the door and dropped myself onto the black seat just as my bladder was about to seep into my pants. Immediately, I felt a squish under the largest part of my left thigh that I thought at first might have been a large amount of sweat from my butt on that humid day. My pee was done in just over a minute and I still felt something odd under my thigh. I got up to grab the toilet paper and wipe and looked down on the old black seat to find four inches of smashed moist poop amost equally deposited on me and the seat. It was even grosser than the time as a middle school student when I had to both have diarrhea and puke at the same time while my older sister was playing in an orchestra concert.

MSG's picture
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At church this morning I visited the restroom to pee; it is a small unisex bathroom complete with sink and toilet. The toilet water was empty; however, near the bottom of the rim, at the extreme left side of the bowl, were two small bits of poop sticking to the porcelain. My question: given normal seated posture and normal trajectory of descending poop, how did that poop get there? Either the donor was sitting sidesaddle on the seat (a near-impossibility as the sink is immediately adjacent), or he exploded sideways (wouldn't a cheek get in the way?). Odd.

prarie doggin's picture
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Could it be a miracle?

BIGNICK's picture
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_______
BIGNICK
BEING THE JOKESTER I'AM I POOED ON A PLATE AT MY BUDDYS HOUSE WRAPED IT IN CELOPANE AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE. HE STILL DONT KNOW I DID IT.
HEHE

BIGNICK

prarie doggin's picture
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Im outta here. Can't top that one.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I have read of people who work in restaurants spitting on peoples food as revenge for some slight they think they have suffered.

I wonder if anyone has ever been so pissed at a customer they actually served them the proverbial
"shit sandwich"?

I voted for "in the fridge",
but "in the food" would certainly be worse.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
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in my mouth or on my face. as a mother i have many times seen something brown on my kid and said to myself what is that i think i'll taste is and find out. don't ask me why i thought this i just did. luckily i have never tasted shit, it has always been chocolate or dirt.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
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Chief, a while back I was listening to a Detroit talk radio station and the subject of discussion was so called food terrorism. One particularly disturbing caller said he hated his job so much that he would nightly shit into the pot of simmering chili being made for the next day. I guess the smell would be overwhelmed by the volume and the shit would disintegrate, but what really disturbed me about this was that the eatery he worked at (names were not allowed) very closely described a place I used to eat at regularly in Detroit.

Please tell me Chief, please please. Isn't chili supposed to have some corn in it.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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PD...........Were the corn kernels plump with sweet tasting centers?, if your answer is yes things are OK On the other hand, were they merely empty shells?........

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
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Chief, as soon as I finish this last case of Listerine, I'll give it some thought.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Lye is a good breath freshener & general oral cleanser, it eats away your cheeks and lets the air flow through.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!