How often you take a shit

// 185 Comments
i 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
0
0

185 Comments on "How often you take a shit"

Anonymous Coward's picture

I pressed once a day and then I farted, as if my ass was in disagreement

Anonymous Coward's picture

I poop about 4 times a day, and they're all very large turds! I'm usually in the bathroom for half an hour.I live by myself so it's totally fine. It takes a while for it to pass my anus thought...it's so long! I don't know what is the deal! The toilet is clogged all the time...My girlfriend would just sit there and watch me sometimes it's hilarious.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Dear Desp: Water (lots), fiber (reasonable), and exercise may help; but see the doctor, soon!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Have you asked a doctor what to do?


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Desperate2visitPorcelin's picture

I need help so bad....all I want to do Is poop. At this point I would give my left nut just to have a nice exit exercise on the godess. Usually I go about one or two times a week...and when I do it feels like I pass a bus, but when I look its the size of a bottle cap.....trust me, Ive tried to do everything gand anything....any advice would be greatly appreciated....i strain so hard that I know I'm going to die of a vessel explosion one day.....

Thundah From Down Undah 's picture

I take a such a big one I grow a tail

SLOPPY FARTZ [:

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

A BM in the AM is always good. Especially when you're back to back on a park bench.

I guess.

drunk bum's picture

Two back to back, in the AM.

i just farted and it is nasty's picture

I JUST SHITTED IN MY PANTS WHILE READING THIS

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear shitter ... We don't post pictures of shit here on poop report. We also are not scat freaks who eat shit, no mater what kind of sauce is sprinkled on it. You should surf the web in search of a site, there are many, that will cater to your sickness.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

the shitter's picture

Let me start of by saying I love taking shits. It is such a relaxation to me, if there was ever an occupation that involves shitting all day, well count me in!!!. My ass crack is tingling right now cuz I just want to shit soooo bad. Lets have a shitting fest. EVERYONE POST PICTURES OF YOUR SHIT! BY THE WAY SHIT WITH ADOBO and hot sauce TASTE SO GOOD.

Shittyscottie's picture

I shit usually first thing in the morning and then again late afternoon/early evening. If I eat a of lot fast food in the day, shits CAN be however 3 or 4! The most shits I`ve done is 12 in one day!! WHOOHOO!!

problem lol's picture

i usually only sht once a week, i dont know why

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Cheapie--if your movements were solid and comfortable, you're on the right track. If you had so much fiber that it gave you diarrhea, that's too much, and you can cut back some.

GottaGoGottaGo's picture

All my farts are wet! I shit myself on several occasions, due to the fact I can not use a public Shitter!!! Any advice for the cant shit in public shitter syndrom

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Fiber and water will help, Cheapie; several glasses of water a day, and lots of whole grains, nuts, fruits, and veggies (good for you anyway). That diet and a decent amount of exercise should get your bowels moving better.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

What I have found lately is that my poops go in cycles: for a few days I'll go once a day, then several days at twice a day, then back to once a day for some days, etc. Anyone else notice a fluctuation like that? Right now I'm on a twice-a-day schedule, but last week it was once a day. All pretty normal.

InstantRefritos's picture

Since becoming mostly vegetarian my organic bombing missions are twice a day an very quick.

brandon22's picture

So how did you all like the human centipede? Usually everytime I take a dump I think about it. I would kill someone with the amount I shit. It would leak through the stitches.

123imaguyy's picture

im a 18yr old guy, im not fat like ive slightly got abs with just a little fat around my belly. i usualy take a massive dump about once every 2 days and man is it big...

Mr Cool's picture

I just took my 4th poo today. They arent 4 huge ones but they are decent size ones. Ive only been like this the last few years. When i was younger i was constipated and went like 1 a week. That would pop my insides if that happened to me now. Being hydrated it the key to taking shits.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

MSG, I think "idk" is some kind of code. I played around with the letters and came up with kid and dik. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with kids, but just to be sure, I will run it through my enigma machine and see what I come up with. It may take a few days as it appears to be quite complex. I am planning to have the Chief oversee the operation as I am currently knee deep in my work trying to decode lol.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Today is the 97th day of 2010, and I just had my 174th b.m. (an excellent large one); that's about 1.8 times a day.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

Depends on how long the road trip is !

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

What is an idk? Dear No go, your friends are correct: once a week is not normal. You need to do these things: (1) Drink lots of water, more than you think you need; (2) Eat lots of veggies, fruits, and high-fiber foods; (3) Get at least some good exercise every day; and (4) Find a regular time to go sit on the toilet, preferably when you think you might get some results. In other words, encourage your system to produce! That's what it needs.

The no go trip!'s picture

I rarely go to the bathroom! I go maybe once a week. Everyone keeps telling me this isnt normal but idk what to do about it!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I shit 7 times a day and am REALLY skinny!

about to crap's picture

im gonna go take a shit right now a big one. one of those dense owns that scrap all the little stragglers along the way then u dont have to wipe. when it drops my bung is gonna still be open and the waters gonna splash for even better cleaning. make sure i flush first before i pee dont want pee in my bung.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Ohhh Brandy, I'm so diappointed. All this time I thought you were wearing brown stockings.

brandy stain pants's picture

i doody all the time. ruin my panties alot. its funny when it stinks and runs down legs.

Anonymous Coward's picture

-----
those who poo one or more times a day have on average a lifespan of 2-3 years longer than those who poo less than 3 times a week
-----

no shit ?

Anonymous Coward's picture

How much do you earn taking a dump ?! Find out at http://www.wagemydump.com

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

My output has been varying somewhat, once or twice a day. On Sunday, though, I ate large quantities of rice for both lunch and supper. As a result, yesterday (Monday) I had three large and satisfying bowel movements, at about 5 a.m., about 8 a.m., and about 8 p.m. That should mean a lesser output today, especially since I ate lighter yesterday; but we'll see.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Yes, indeed, Daphne; perhaps I could sneak in a few ambiguous word choices that might refer to our subject ("a strained metaphor" "you need to push on to clarity" "you got that out of your system" etc.).

On topic: Just one movement each on the last two days.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

MSG, sending their letters back with red corrections all over them is a great way to relieve stress.

You may have some fun, too!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

I voted for the "I'm full of shit" option.
Thats what people tell me.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Nah thats what the kids are for.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

When you make that trip to the curb with your cans, do you also bring out the garbage?

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I shit once a week it's like taking the cans to the curb for trash day....if those cans were giant logs of fetid putrid shit that is.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Daphne, it never occurred to me to try to send a corrected version of one of the Nigerian letters; I have been too afraid of letting in some virus or access to my accounts for some scam. But it would be intriguing.

To bring this poll up to date: The one choice it didn't have is "once or twice a day." That's what I'm doing now. Two today, just one yesterday. If I poop twice in a day, the next day's first (likely only) poop will be later than usual in the day.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

ashlyn63852 on 08.31.2009 said, "wow you peole or a bunch of farts i guess u come out of the ass"

I checked your profile and saw that you claim to be 25 years old. Can you tell me how, in a quarter of a century, you picked up virtually no abilities in written expression?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

5 days no shitting

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Chief, you take a break from grammar officer for awhile. PD has demostrated that he is qualified in policing the illiterate crowd. It is a very difficult job to read unpuctuated capital letterless runon sentences. I personally get a headache from it, so I just don't read the long ones. So rest that big heart of yours so it won't stop ticking and listen to your doctor.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

ashlyn63852, thank you for reducing the size of your posts while maintaining the same level of incoherence. It must have been difficult.

ashlyn63852's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

wow you peole or a bunch of farts i guess u come out of the ass

ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Chieffie, you got your angina attack while reading an illiterate post?
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

No, I prefer to use a cordless drill. It's a lot more portable.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

So that's your secret Postman. Do you bore yourself with an auger bit or one of those spade drills?

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Every morning, about 7:15. I'm so regular I bore myself.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

prarie doggin said, "Chief's gonna have a heart attack.

I apologize for the delay in replying to this thread but I was hospitalized with severe angina. I think I am OK now but my doctor tells me I should avoid reading posts totally devoid of any semblance of syntax and imbued with nasty spelling and punctuation. Gasp!!!!!!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

ashlyn, please keep in mind that most of us on here are old farts who aren't into texting or Twitter. And also, the "Shift" key is on your computer keyboard for a reason.

ashlyn63852's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

i think i dont fart till i have to poo i will fart and then i will fart again and i realize i have to poo i just keep passing gass till i eventuly make it to the tolit or poo in my pants :) :p

ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

*catching breath from laughter*
Thanks again, pd. Laughter is truly the best medicine.
Our Red Heeler hasn't gakked anything lately- he's not much fun at all.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Due to miralax, of course.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I voted as I'm a shit machine.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

How to steal an Aussies beer:

Hey, look over there maite! It's a Groit Daine abowt to gak a wallaby cahcass.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

MSG, do you ever send one of those scam letters back corrected in a reply? I have to admit - I've been tempted.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

...when we're not busy watching dogs vomit. :)

_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

phew likeIthogt Iwasther only ome who colden tunderstand a friigern thing that pervius postsiad.
We Aussies might seem a bit thick, but at least we can string a sentence or two together.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I was glad to see that post was lamed, I got a headache trying to read it.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

School's about to start. I teach high school English. If I had Ashlyn's post, I could mine it for errors for at least a semester (I use error detection exercises in my classes). I can't really do that, so I guess I'll use the next Nigerian windfall letter. To return to topic: I've been pooping once or twice a day most of the summer; two good movements today.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Fuck, I couldn't get past the first line, I felt my IQ diminishing drastically, so I bailed out.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Chief's gonna have a heart attack.

ashlyn63852's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross ok i was in my cozey 1 bedrom apartment with a bathroom right across the hall. i was sitting there and i felt the erge to poo i havet pooped in about 2 weeks and i wanted to see if it was finaly time to drop a load. yea i dont like to eat lots of fiber so i have a hard time on the comode. so i went in and shut the door and began my work (alest tryed to) so im sitting there and all i am doing is farting farting farting and farting.with major butt cramps !!! so then after mabe 2 hours i dicited it wasnt coming so i went to sit in my living room and continue to watch tv. the nextday i had a date with my girlfriend.we went to the steakhouse i had rice with black beans and steak with some chilli. it was dilishoue.so we ate and i was in the car to take her home i felt the erge to crap !!!! really bad !!!! so i started to drive fast and preying to god to hit no trafic or bumps !!!!!!!!!!! so then i finaly got her home and i manged to hold it so far i drove back to my house with a filled butt hole of gass and who knows what else in store !! (poo poo and more poo) so i ran upstaires and sat down and just farted farted farted and farted. god was i mad !!! i wanted to crap!!!! so i dicited to just let it coe when it needed to come ! so the next week i felt the erge again i thought if it dosent blow i dont know what i will do. i ran up ther and i just farted farted farted and farted ! i was ticked of ! i want to POOP !!! now i didcited to go to the docter. the next week i arrived i went in the room and asked me to drop my pants i thought he was gay but then again doceters are suposed to do that so hes not. so then he go this glove and put jelley on it and told me to bend over in a football position he touched my testicles and told me i had a nice size (ok now he is gay) but mabe he int it in a heathey way but aneyway then he got blue jelly stuff and put it on his finger and showved his finger up my butt crack !!! it felt not very comerotble. while he was feling around he rold me to lay me down and told me i had had the poop in my rectum to long so he had to go up my butt and pull poo out. i got wided eved and he got this thing and i poped open my butthole he got a needle thing but he told me it wouldent hurt he then i fent a jerk and he told me tostay calm then he told me to stand up and squat dowm then he told me he was putting a silverlineing around my butt hole so i felt my hole fell air around it then he gave me a smock and told me to try to go poop in the bathroom i went into the bathroom i had to walk like a pinguen and there about an hour later a log came out from heaven above ! i pooped !!!!! yea yeSSS!!!! i went back to the room and told him i pooped he toled me to lay back down i thought he was going to take those thing out of my crack but no he got his finger and felt around somemore and said well your not done pooping yet. i need an x ray so i went to the x ray room and he told me to squat he took pictures of my but and my dick.... i wonder why aneyway he told me i needed to go back to the room i did he told me to lay down he took the lineing out and told me to squat again i did my butt burns by the way then he got this opening think and open it bigger then he mesured the size of my hole. then he took everyhting off and out of my butt and told me to go in this room with him it was empty with nothing in it just a bench and a sink and a table the doctor reached in the cabnet and told me to walk over to the table and hold on to t and squat like i was going to poop on the floor then he got his gloves on and got that opening thing again and opend my butt hole so big then he was holding the butt crack holder hing and told me to push ! i felt like i was giveing birth !!!! thenhe let it go my butt crack colapsed closed. he told me i was the most difficult paitent he ever had the we went into this room with a chair and it was above this back tunel thing it was emberising. i dont know about you but i like to crap in privacy. then he told me to squat in feldial posiston he got this thing and it was metel it felt like he shoved it in m butt crack and took me to the bathroom not the same one as before he told me to st on the tolit and try to poop but nothing came then he told me it squat and push really really really hard i did my but hole finaly became open on it own and he showed the opener thing up it aganin ! he told me to sit likeypou are on the tolit in thin air then he tolf me to try to poop i didn want to do my doodies in front of him but i had o i pushed and pushed nothing then he said fine he put to of his fingers from each hand on each side of my but and then told me to barley push i did and a log fell out and another and another abnd then one was big he then took his hands outand said do ypu feel better i did he put a ring up my but and told me that my butt hold was o small ! so know i crap everyday and its always a huge log sio yea

ok wow i was totlay shocked and by the way that was gross

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I can honestly say I have NEVER taken a shit in my life. I have left plenty of them, though.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture

found this by accident when doing research from another site, that claimed people who received pleasure from taking a shit, had psychological damage.
I can't imagine even putting into order the amount of psychological damage i do have, but i still seem more together than every US president since IKE.
anyway, i go three or four times a week.
but, i eat only once a day, in an effort to look anorexic and scare people, because people in this world need to be shaken out of their reverie of shit worship!
---another brown world---

yoyoyo's picture

I take a shit every morning around 10am..i drink two cups of diet coke and does it.. i feel the urge ,hit the toilet and slide right out..sometimes my turds are like 8 to 10 inches long..man it feels so good

Anonymous Coward's picture

I am taking a shit now as I take this poll. Talk about irony.
(BTW for the record, I voted for the "two to three times a day" option)

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points

One time per day assuming no trips to the Mexican restaurant ! If so, two trips to get rid of chaco tacos.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Forget about those chain pizza joints. Stick to the hometown pizza places. Order a large with pepperoni and jalapenos. You'll be blowing fire out your ass the next day.

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

I don't know why that pizza gives me the shits but pizza hut or other companies don't give me the shits. Maybe Domino's is just bad luck for me
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Russell, after my pilonidal surgery I had a few cases of Screamin' Shits, but I don't recall any Dominos pizza being involved.

Knowmy Shit's picture

Food in food out 24 hour transit time 3 meals 3 poops (i wanted to answes that "Mr Hanky")

Anonymous Coward's picture

i poop once a week

Russell's picture
l 100+ points

I shit three times a day. Sometimes, I'll take four dumps a day. And sometimes, if I eat Dominos pizza, I get the Screamin' Shits!

Russell the shitting queen

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Amy, your first mistake is waiting till you get home to poop. If you have to shit while you're at work, go for it. Damn, more than likely they don't pay you enough anyway, so if you get that urge while you're at work, do it.

There's nothing like sitting on the pot, squeezing out a dookie, and getting paid for it. You and everybody you work with is making all the money for your company anyway, so don't feel like you're screwing your company because you have to shit. Fuck them.

Did I happen to mention I'm a union steward?

Amy's picture

I typically poop once every 3 days. When I was in my teens and college years it was more frequently (maybe twice a day), but age (45) and the stresses of life put me where I am today. Thinking about it, I would frequently ignore the urge at work and was able to wait until I got home. Since then my body has adjusted to where it is now and I get the urge, on average, every third day. But with less frequency comes larger and more time-consuming bowel movements, and also with more urgency. It takes a good 5 minutes on the toilet with on-and-off pushing and is usually very solid, but gosh it feels good to be rid of it. Sorry, TMI, but this is the place to explain and its not that often I can talk about my bowel movement habits.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Oh my shit...I just urbandictionary-ed Angry Cullen...jesushchrist.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Hey, yeah!
*Light bulb goes on above head*
Thats why Michael Jackson was such a good dancer!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

...I don't know how to respond to that...scared...
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Ever wonder why most men can't dance. Just try dangling two sweet potatoes between your legs and you'll see why.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

I don't know Leandra. I timed the mister once and he scratched his balls for 10 minutes before he noticed I was staring. I asked him about it and after a strange TMI conversation I am convinced I would rather have a period than have to deal with my precious organs hanging and swinging all about down there.Sounds dangerous.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

You really don't want to trade...trust me...there's a reason it's called the curse.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Y'know BM, you bring up a good point. With all the complaining women do about their periods and stuff, they should try having our ball problems for a day. I know you'll agree........ Well I'll agree for you......

help

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

In my case, I tend to forget whether I just started scratching my nuts, or if I've been doing it for a while.
Rather than risk only giving them a short scratch, I give them the benefit of the doubt, and scratch 'em a while longer.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

And when you get to Chief and my ages, it takes even longer, 'cause we have farther to reach.

Daphne, melon baller for the young lady.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Leandra, when it comes to ball scratching, we guys are thorough...it can take up to four hours for a good ball scratch. Major league baseball players with their little "cup the sack and shift" aren't real guys...
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Hmmmm, never gave that much thought Leandra. Too busy thinking about....uh other thoughts.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Shouldn't you guys....IDK...have a job, sleep...read....do normal activities?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Christ, isn't that enough? Thats a full day!!!
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Isn't that all you males do?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I assume if AC's a male, he will also have time for beer, ball scratching, and thinking about naked women.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

6 times a day? Do you have time to do anything else?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Anonymous coward's picture

I take a shit often four times a day. Its not unusual for me to shit more than 6 times a day. Its not very convenient and my butthole always hurts from wiping so god damn much

cyemore butts's picture

whoouldn't it be more propper to say your leaving a shit then taken a shit couse your not realy taking it anywere right well least i'm not taken a pice of shit anyware get my point .

KingofTundra's picture

I shit ATLEAST once a day...i work out every day and eat fibers....i get rid of my food!! thats why im in excellent shape...i have a nice glass table and a plasma in my bathroom....get stuck on my laptop for atleast 30 min when im shittin in the bathroom...ilove shitting its so peaceful...i also have a separate heater/ac in my bathroom....i cant shit when its cold no fukin way...shitting is good, very good..alright peace

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Well I certainly shit an awful lot, and enjoy it enormously, so I consume a lot of high-fibre foods, like muesli, oats, bran flakes, wholemeal bread, vegetables, fruit, cereal bars and the like, in order to crap more. Food moves through me quite quickly and I suppose on average, I shit an average of 4 times a day, although it can be as little as 3 and as much as 5 and still be fairly average for me. There are occasions when I have had only one or two, but on those occasions, there's usually something wrong, like I've been ill or something. For instance, the last time I crapped this infrequently was 3 weeks ago, when I was in hospital having surgery on my teeth, so the morphine in my system affected my pooing rhythm for a day or so. Generally If I have less than 3 a day I start feeling strange and grouchy, so I need to crap lots in order to maintain my sense of well-being.

I usually have to poo shortly after I wake up, and rarely get a chance to go back to sleep if I wake up too early, because soon after I open my eyes, the need to defecate follows the need to urinate. The next one usually comes mid-to-late morning, followed by another around lunchtime (or just after) and another just after dinner. Other shitting episodes may occur at various times of the day, depending on what I've eaten.

My record, without diarrhoea, is 8. This isn't nuggets but full-on logs. It was after 24 hours eating nothing but a couple of bowls Swiss-recipe muesli for every meal.

If I ate less fibre, no doubt I'd crap less, but I fail to see why I should. I love shitting and I love farting, and fibre enables me to do this as often as I wish. I consider shitting to be virtually a hobby.

Corporate Crapper's picture

Everyday, usually post morning coffee. Oddly, often on Fridays, I get the need in the afternoon. If I get in early, my office's bathrooms are still nice and clean. Later in the day they get the used feeling and smell. Nothing overtly nasty, most of the time, but just not that clean feeling.

The toilet water has a light blue tinge after the cleaning crews clean it. It is a very modest joy, but I do like it when I get in early enough to use a "blue toilet".

Ryan D.'s picture

well im 14 and i find myself in the bathroom stalls at least 3-4 times a day, and at least 20 mins during my lunch. does anybody shit this much?

woahHAI's picture

I always used to take a shit like 2 times per week until early this year, around March, when I had to get an enema up me to help get it all out because I was really full of shit, constipated, I had bad stomach aches everyday (the pain went around to my back), and whenever I touched around the right side of my stomach I felt this really sharp intense pain. So after that I straight away made the decision to go at least once everyday, and it's goin cool x]

cute_fuckin_2-m's picture

I'm actually taken a shit while I'm writing this lolz :-)
I shit once a week.. That's if I'm lucky ! I don't know why thoo & I'm so skinny. By the way, I'm a girl also. So is that bad?

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

It's because without your gall bladder, you are passing the food more quickly. In, and out!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

deuce dropper's picture

That friend who is soiling the sheets needs to see a doctor. Anal leakage is not only gross, messy and stinky, it is unhealthy. I personally poop after every meal. Used to poop at most once a day until I had my gallbladder out, now it's like clockwork. Don't know why.

hayley's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I poop once or twice a day. As soon as I get to work in the mornings I gotta poop. Then sometimes again in the evenings I gotta poop.

vegetarian pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

I have been pooping 3 times or more a day since I stoped eating meat over 4 years ago before that I only dumped a small amount once a week and back then it took me 20 minutes to push out 4 inches now it only takes 5 to ten minutes usualy 5 to dump a foot of poo and it don's stink nearly as much as back then

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

Anonymous Coward's picture

I take a shit three times a month

Fat Sister inlaw's picture

My sister In law is on the thunderbox every hour having a dump and at night she gets out of bed every 2 for one.I know if she don't cus she will have a shower in the morning as soon as she gets up cus she has shit the bed.I confronted her about this and she just went quiet and wouldn't say any thing.She also will not go and see a doctor.She is 5foot 3" and about 190KG.We go through over 4 rolls of paper per day(260 sheets per roll)Do all fat people shit like this?Or is she just full of shit. :)

Lubriderm's picture

I go twice a week. My shit just flys out of my ass in an orderly fashion. Actually, I could probobly win a contest on the "longest piece of shit" because I only go twice a week. That way, it gets really really long.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Not needed, Chief. Hahaha, JK, it rly wasn't but... prarie doggin- in my abcense I have been studying stealthy ninja-things...heehee :D
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Thanks for the scratchy toilet paper tip greenpoopertrooper, I have been using it in place of masturbation.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

You must re-enter that thread greengrasshopperpooper. Don't forget to remove your contacts before the acid soaking.

Anonymous Coward's picture

i shit two times in week, i am skinny

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I really don't want to revisit that thread, I'll have to soak my eyeballs in acid again.
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Actually GPT, if you read one of my poems, in particular in the 2 girls one cup thread, you'd know I'm kidding.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Heeheehee, going back to the Brown Line of silence, are we, PD?
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

LIAR!

woman do it's picture

woman poop... i for one poop at least 3 times a day

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I have a septic system at my house and it will hold just so many shits before it needs to be pumped.I consider any dump taken away from home a victory. Money in my pocket if you will.

Lance's picture

What is it about so many people--on this thread--and others being reluctant to take a shit whenever they need to when they are away from home? I prefer to shit away from home. First, my wife doesn't complain about the smell and I don't need to use the plunger (about 50% of the time because of the Jimmy Carter-era toilet in our apartment). Second, I'm not about to go out of my way to hold my shit until I get home from work or my evening college classes. I simply find the first bathroom, select the first stall and I'm down for the dump. Sometimes I'll even go in and sit in the bathroom at a Subway or a 24/7 coin operated laundry before I go to the bus bench. I've had close calls a couple of time when the buses are behind schedule or stuck in traffic. In fact, about five years ago I met my future wife while waiting for a unisex toilet at a convenience store. I take as many shits each day away from home as needed. To me, the complaints listed by some of the other posters just don't add up.

Vanilla Dolphin's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I can always count on at least one horrific morning diarrhea, almost always immediately after breakfast. Then, it's guerilla warfare for the rest of the day, with a very unpredictable and erratic shitting schedule.

_______
"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points


I usually shit twice a day. There are some times that I even shit 3 or more times a day. That is always dependant on which direction the IBS goes that day. Sometimes, there is a day that I do not shit at all, needless to say I really feel it until the relief comes. I always shit anywhere that i may be when the urge hits. I am a shameless shitter, and not afraid to go wherever and whenever the need hits. Truth be known, when I was in high school, I rarely shit during school hours, instead when I got home, I bee-lined it to the upstairs toilet.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

I usually go once a day but when I had amoebal dysentery in Asia I thought about 96 times a day would be better.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Caitlyn's picture

I crap at least once daily. It's usually between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. or about 90 minutes after I've finished my breakfast. However, that will unfortunately change again next week when I start my junior year of high school. Just like Sittin* & Shittin' Sadie posted (10.02.07), I, too, don't look forward to using the bathrooms at my school. They suck. Just as Sadie said she did while she was in high school, I try to hold my craps until I reach my after school job which is at the mall. The seats and toilets at Target are much cleaner than at my school and I have time to relax a little so I can completely finish my shit. About 2 or 3 times a month I'm forced (a few seconds away from an accident!) to sit down at school, but I just hate sitting on those toilets. I've tried to shit standing up over the bowl but I'm not able to produce. I'm able to squat though to pee and I've become quite good at that. My older brother (2 years) use to tease me when I'd ask him to hurry when he was driving me home from school because my ass was ready to explode. He craps every day at school and even with no doors on the stalls, he thinks nothing of it. Must be nice!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

My output varies, usually two or three times a day, occasionally once in a day. Almost always I have an early morning movement, say between 5 and 6:30 a.m.; then sometimes another one (like today, shortly before church, at the church building) later in the morning. On about half the days I will have either an afternoon or evening movement as well. They are all normal, well-formed poops. Yes, I admit, in my 66 years I have probably pooped over 50,000 times, possibly a lot more than that. I enjoyed most of them.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dr, Creepy............I think you have confused
egress orifices. Beer should ultimately come out through the bladder and food through the anus. There will be some overlap of orifice responsibility but not that much. I speak from the experience of a lifetime of overindulgence.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

3 times? A day??? WTF?!? I'm lucky if I shit once a day!!!
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

The Original Grasshopper

Dr Creepy's picture

I shit at least three times a day and often as many as five (even six). I don't force my shit but I just can't stop shitting. You could say I'm a shitting machine.

It seems the more beer I drink, also, the more I shit.

Cloggy's picture

i dont have a naturalcycle so 3-4 if im lucky, im a bit sad these days without the best nutrition. i think its because my colon is clogged from previous constipation so the all bran aint gettin through, im gonna do a "fast" to clean things out in 2 days.

Colin's picture

I shit 1-2 times a week :P

Anonymous Coward's picture

So I'll live 2-3 years longer, but over 70 years, I'll have spent 6 years on the toilet instead of 3 weeks? Plus I'll have killed hundreds of trees from all the T.P. I use.

Scared Shit's picture

yes what if you poop 5 times a day?

Anonymous Coward's picture

What if you poop 5 times a day?

Anonymous Coward's picture

if you poop less than 3 times a week, your colon is in bad shape, those who poo one or more times a day have on average a lifespan of 2-3 years longer than those who poo less than 3 times a week

Teddy's picture
m 1+ points - Newb


_______
teddy Well this is definately a shitty subject.To Bigwiper i can answer your question.You are both winnes in this.Now if you dump 3 times a day,then early of a morning you are full of crap but at the end of the day you are empty.Now the person who dumps 3 times a week is full till he dumps depending on the time say its at nite.Well at nite you have had 3 dumps he has had his one so i would say your equal at this point.But excuse my pun here but as a daily check to see whos more full of crap he is definately loaded on the days he don't dump as to your 3 times everday so your both empty at times but he is full more time than you are.

teddy

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

S&SS - you are right, of course. Holding it in does lead to constipation. And I imagine an enema is gross too! Needing to shit three times a day seems OTT to me - but, as I always say, we are all different. I'm much more like your bf in my pooping habits, but I don't think you are paranoid.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

My average is once per day. I'll go in streaks, if you will. Noon seems to be the current streak.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

Just once a day for me. Pretty much the same time everyday, too. Now that's REALLY boring.

Sittin* & Shittin' Sadie's picture

I generally have to shit within 30 minutes to an hour of a meal. As a college student, that means I generally don't make it out of the dining hall in the morning without sittin' & shittin' and by 1:30 p.m. I'm waiting for my Intro to Business lecture to get out so I can get onto the stool and relieve myself. Usually I'm in the library about 7 p.m. each evening when I again have to sit and shit. It's not that much of a hassle on campus because the restrooms are pretty clean, but when I'm traveling I do worry about sitting on the much more heavily used toilets at places like Interstate rest stops and gas stations. My boyfriend, who shits once or twice a week and usually in his dorm, laughts and says I'm paranoid. I don't think I am. I just see no reason to hold it in and later get myself constipated. A couple of times last year in high school I tried to hold my crap in until I got home and I got so constipated that I had to give myself an enema. I found that even grosser than sitting down on public toilet seats.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points

You sound just like me Turtlehead!! What was it someone said, 'never go at the first alarm'?? Or something like that!

Thunderous - I just don't think I could do it in full view. Full respect to you - you're obviously far more shameless than me. I'm happy to 'play to an audience' behind a closed door, but ....

Turtlehead's picture

I shit every other day normally. Like right now I am starting to feel the urge. The last time I clogged the bowl was on Sunday. I will probably hold off until I really need to go.