How you feel women should shit/fart in front of significant others

// 183 Comments
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I'm a woman, and I shit and fart when and where I want.
22% (1736 votes)
I'm a woman, and I don't shit/fart in public, but I do around my S.O.
6% (515 votes)
I'm a woman, and I cover up my shits/farts when around my S.O.
8% (630 votes)
I'm a man, and I am OK with my woman farting/shitting in front of me.
46% (3667 votes)
I'm a man, and I don't want to believe that women shit or fart.
19% (1504 votes)
Total votes: 8052

183 Comments on "How you feel women should shit/fart in front of significant others"

The Big Wiper's picture
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Everyone knows that women do not shit or fart. They do little pink powderpuffs out of their rear-ends, along with delicate, fleecy clouds of perfumed air that fly out like angels on wings--accompanied by harp music.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pinch A. Loaf's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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God I wish. It'd make life so much easier, and I'd have a large collection of pink powderpuffs by now.

Di Uhreea's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points
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I said not in public but around my S.O.
Once in a while I will fart in public, but not so much that I would describe myself as a public farter.

At a party the other night, I went and stood beside my sis-in-law, farted and then blamed her. I would have gotten away with it if I wasn't giggling so hard. This was in front of a bunch of people I had just been introduced to. I don't know what made me do it.
Beer, maybe? Probably.

Bashful Buns's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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A cute little fart game I play is I'll let one go in the car and blame one of the kids, who then blames the other one. Joke's on them - they never try to blame me!! HAHA - Mom's rule!! However, I would not do that with my hubby around. Just can't bring myself to do it.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points
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I voted for the last choice.

Sure I know women shit and fart but I don't want to see, hear or smell it. Actually I don't want to see, smell or hear anyone's shit/farts but my own.

I enjoy stinking up a place and want it to gross others out...what's the point of blasting some nasty ass if people like it?

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points
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When I was growing up my mother used to blast some hellacious farts, partly due to gall bladder problems. She'd excuse herself, apologize profusely but there was always a little glint in her eye. She'd been a nurse so she'd seen and heard it all and never castigated us for a natural function, (farting in my little sisters face when pinned down was another matter).

From the very beginning I understood women are truly equal in all respects, to believe otherwise would be folly, as stupid as thinking women are more desirable if they have a gaunt hollow Euro model look that advertisers capitalize on to sell junk to perpetuate these fallacies and enrich themselves off the guilt they are selling.

I have no problems with women taking a dump or letting a fart go, it's kinda cute that they feel comfortable enough to be themselves around you.

I know someone will bring up my Regret story so I'll say now there were a lot of things that were wrong with that relationship before she crapped her pants and for the sake of the story I didn't feel they had a place.

Ladies, free yourself from these morons who want you to act like those vapid characters you see in the media, be yourself, you'll be surprised at the number of men who will still hold the door for you...especially the bathroom door.

AssBlaster2000's picture
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To reiterate Bunga's excellent points, the men who encourage farting and shitting now outnumber those who don't 7-4. Not a lot of people but a statistically wide margin.

This poll may be fodder for a future Poopreport. I'm dedicating myself to the cause of liberating women everywhere to be able to pass gas and bust ass whenever they want.

The Big Wiper's picture
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AB2K: You can't count my vote as one of the four. I was, of course, joshing.

Di: I know why you farted that way. It's because you have been on PR for three and a half years.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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When DH and I were first married, one day I wandered into another room to fart. He walked through a few minutes later, and asked, "Man! What IS that? OMG!" And he proceeded to look down the sink, under the couch, etc...presumably looking for the decomposing rot giving off the smell, and he kept complaining the whole while, and he just wouldn't leave it alone. I FINALLY had to say, "Geez, it was me! Get a clue. I WENT into the other room. It would be polite to just ignore it. Have you NO manners? Why harp on it?" He apologized, but I'm still scarred.

3flusher's picture
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Some women don't fart, but often are near dogs that do!

3flusher

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Let er rip! If a guy (or girl) has a problem with me having the audacity to fart or shit he/she can go fap off!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I would have chosen farting as being OK, but not pooping. Of course, if you are in the bathtub and she has to desecrate the bowl, that's fine. I just don't see any reason to put yourself in that situation on purpose. For the record, Mary Mary's farts smell like roses. Mine smell like rotting carcasses.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Anonymous Coward's picture
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This is my first post so I am a coward, but I just have to know... Is it really illegal to fart in an elevator?

BTW I voted for #1 although I technically wouldnt shit anywhere, but any designated place would do... although I have shit in the woods and beind the barn a time or 2.

A country girl~

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points
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Farting in a crowded elevator is perfectly legal and usually scores the most points.

I feel that when women fart around guys, it's a sign of closeness and compatibility. I mean, if ya can't fart amongst the one you love, who can ya fart in front of.

I do not want to hear my new girlfriend fart or smell her poo, although it may be ok. ....no, i am wrong, that's not ok, that's kinda bad.

Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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I voted for #1 because I will poop and fart where I "need" to. If I'm going to be home soon and can afford to hold in the poop, I will. If I'm in public and need to fart, I'll step to a less crowded area.

I can poop/fart in the presence of my husband. The one thing I can't do is let him watch me wipe. I just can't get myself to let him see that, so, if he's in the room, I make him turn around.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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As some of you know, I went from one extreme to the other. The former Mrs. Dumpster could turn a bathroom into an EPA Superfund site quicker than you could say "doniker"; whereas my current Significant Other, Miss Hermione, is very much in the pink powderpuff category. Surely there is a happy medium.

Cracktacular's picture
l 100+ points
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I don't like it, but if I aspire to be shameless, my mate should feel free to be shameless as well.

This is a bitter pill.

Necessary, but bitter.

Crack kills

TrevorBrown's picture
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Ummm are there not any GAY poopReporters, I don't like the heterosexism of this quiz a term like "partner" or something a little more sexually neutral to include any kind of relationship...

AssBlaster2000's picture
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There are gay poopreporters on this site, and at least one has voted on this poll. I was not intending to be discriminatory, but the issue of women farting/shitting in front of men has been brought up several times on this site lately, and I thought I would make the poll about that. You will notice on the women's side I did specify "significant other" leaving lesbians the option to vote if they care. Since the poll is about women and their significant others, gay men are not unwelcome to vote on the poll but it is more about men's responses to their women shitting and farting. However, it would be interesting to note what gays think about their partner shitting in front of them. Anyone care to weigh in?

The Big Wiper's picture
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Neither my partner nor I have any problem sharing all aspects of the bathroom. We regularly converse in there as we do in other rooms of the house. Frequently, one of us is shaving while the other is on the pot. We consider it a part of life, and no big whoop.

P.S. AB2K, the originator of this poll, is a very understanding and enlightened person regarding the entire subject of human sexuality. I would say that the overwhelming majority of PR posters are heterosexual, and the poll was reflecting a popular issue with them.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
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Trevor, TBW emailed me shortly before he officially "came out" on this site and asked me how I thought people would take it. I told him not to worry; most of us hetero guys have some lesbian tendencies ourselves. However, I just got back from sharing a three-bathroom ski condo in Park City with five girls from my high school class (of 1975). Actually, it was more like a 2.1 bathroom condo, as one of them was out of order as far as solid waste was concerned. (I'm referring to one of the bathrooms; as far as the girls themselves, I'm trying to get my diary of this trip transcribed for posting on the forums.)

Anyway, my point is that spending that much time in such close quarters with that many middle-aged women would make anyone question his sexual orientation, and it gave me a very different perspective on how to answer this poll!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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How is it the subject of gay equality must come up even in a shit poll? Is there no sacred place a person can go without hearing a gay foul cry?

At least the Big Wiper didn't get his panties all in a bunch!

a country girl~

Poo Zombie's picture
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There was no "hold it at any cost til you can dump in complete stealth" option so I went with the third.

There seems to be an idea that über-Shameful women like me are that way because we feel our partners would stop liking us, think we're disgusting, et cetera if they saw/heard/smelled us poop. I think in some cases (as in mine) the male would think no less of the shameful female (and in some cases she knows it) for pooping, but we ourselves on some level think it's gross, even if we also think it's funny as hell. And we don't want to be caught doing something that we perceive as disgusting. In short, the Shamefulness is sometimes a result of our own warped attitudes and not those of our partners.

Not to sound egotistical, but AB2K, with whom this debate originated, did have a particularly scornful and vitriolic response to a story I posted recently which illustrates the extent of my shamefulness, and I do have to wonder humbly if that story set off this debate.

The Dumpster's picture
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PZ, I'm enjoying wasting my morning chasing you all over this web site, but I really cannot agree at all with your statement above that "AB2K, with whom this debate originated, did have a particularly scornful and vitriolic response to a story I posted recently which illustrates the extent of my shamefulness...." First, here is what AB2K said, in response to your story entitled The Secret Battle: "Holy crap. The contents of this story were funny as shit but I am left without a single nice word to say about the reason for it. Been with your boyfriend three years and you have to take diet pills so he won't see you shit? While I can attest to the fact that twelve-hour night shifts fuck you up in every way possible, I can't see altering my diet so that my significant other won't see me shit.

"I think I've been with Mr. Blaster too long and am therefore out of touch, but girl, you need to let that man see you shit and fart NOW. Ever heard of women's lib? You need to do women's shit lib. Why should you hold it in for him? Does he hold it in for you? I bet not! Let 'em rip. He probably will never hear it over the surround system. Men with sweet electronics don't pay attention too much else."

This was neither "scornful" nor "vitriolic," but rather an encouraging and much-needed wake-up call to you to get your head out of your ass! Furthermore, if you hang around here long, you will find that AB2K hasn't got a mean bone in her body, but is the gracious hostess of PR, lending it that kinder, gentler touch which hyper-intellectuals like Dave and Bill Gates so often seem to lack.

I would seriously recommend that you find somebody else to pick on besides AB2K. Why not devote your energies to telling us what was the small step towards shamelessness at work which you alluded to elsewhere?

The Big Wiper's picture
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Dear, a country girl: I published your comment above about 'gay equality' to illustrate several points.

First of all, Poop Report is not a sanctuary for people who want to impose their religious beliefs on others. It is a clearinghouse for those who want to discuss the equalizing effects of going to the bathroom. The humorous and intellectual fallout from such discussions is designed to bring people together, not emphasize their legitimate differences.

Secondly, the poster who interjected the gender question in this poll was answered respectfully and thoughtfully by the originator of the poll--AB2K. To the extent that the poster seemed a bit contentious, she went the extra mile and expanded the focus of the poll with her comments in a non-judgmental way.

Thirdly, I do not wear panties. I wear boxers.

PR is not a church pulpit. If you come here, don't expect your particular denominational views to be reflected or supported. In general, religion and politics are dividers.

Poop is the great equalizer.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Big Wiper:

Sure sounds like I just heard a sermon from the poopy pulpit.

Maybe you should change your name to Poop Preacher.

But thank you for not censoring my post. You know theres something very wrong when a person gets censored on a web-site focused on fecal matter.

Oh and BTW... I know many gay people who are very religious, so what really is your point?

Mine was... stick to the shit subject and we will all be truely one!

a country girl~

Cracktacular's picture
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That's right TBW, boxers are where it's at. And I agree with you. There are plenty of sites on the internet where people can go look for something to be offended at and get their daily dose of pissed-off-ness. This doesn't need to be another one.

Don't hate da playa, hate da game, yo.

Crack kills

The Big Wiper's picture
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The tenets of Poop Report are not a religion, country girl. I was stating them as a reminder. And just as your comments were not censored, so Trevor's comments were not. Often threads evolve and veer into tangents.

Other than that, you appeared to be quite threatened by Trevor's comments. Compare your response to AB2K's. It appears to me that your view of 'all being truly one' does not include same-sex oriented people.

Can't let that pass without saying, "We do belong. We are your neighbors. We are everywhere. Always have been. Always will be."

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
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I can't shake the vision of TBW in panties.

Poo Zombie's picture
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Bravo, TBW. Dumpster, I definitely do not enjoy being chased about PR and criticized, but for the record I was not "picking on" AB2K. Her scorn for Shamefulness is well-documented and, in my case, given the extremes to which I take it, probably well-deserved.

Further, this poll is an excellent way to demonstrate to shameful women that we are, in the main, being ridiculous. If our SOs find out that we shit, they are not going to projectile vomit and pack their things, or whatever it is we think they would do. Chances are, they won't notice or care. So while there is no need to immediately dump with the door open, the point is, we Shamefuls could stand to relax a little, which is easier said than done.

The Big Wiper's picture
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Dumpster, you are spending way too much time with the Victoria's Secret catalog!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Dumpster's picture
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PZ, you have to understand that this web site is the ONLY place I can safely chase a 21 year old girl around, and, as you are an excellent new PoopReporter (in addition to being way young enough to be my daughter), my "criticisms" of you are well intentioned, and I thank you for taking them that way.

TBW, I have regrettably reached that point in fatherhood where I have to get home before Little Dumpster does so that I can hide the Victoria's Secret catalog from him. As a primer on female anatomy, though, it beats heck out of the Sears Catalogs that you and I grew up with, doesn't it?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Threatened? Not at all
Offended? Pleeeease this is a site about shit.
Tired of cry-babies? Definately!

BTW TBW... you are the one that seems threatened by religion. I never mentioned it in my original post. Just making an observation on how some people groups take a subject, any subject even a shit/fart survey, and attempt to make it a platform in which to push their special agenda down everyone elses throats... which BTW is the beginning of a very stinky movement.

Yes indeed I came here to engage in shitty stories, not to be lectured about inclusiveness.

I for one Vote for the Solidarity Shit Movement and to leave the rest of the steamy stories for the Liberal AND Conservative medias to spin.

Stirring the pot!

A country girl~

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Well, Country Girl, why don't you join us instead of posting anonymously? You sound like a political conservative at heart, and, goodness knows, C. Everett Poop and I can use all the help we can get!

I can't be homophobic. I don't think most people who are gay choose to be that way, and it is certainly not a lifestyle I have ever heard anyone wish for their own child, but I simply know too many classy people like TBW to generalize about a whole group.

You are right; we should focus on this site on the things that unite, such as #1, #2, and even #3, and not on the things that divide, such as religion and politics. However, poop is such an integral part of everything else we do and are, that it is hard to compartmentalize sometimes.

Anyway, come on and join PR, and give us your best (or worst) poop story! This is a big tent!

The Big Wiper's picture
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When you make non-inclusive comments, you can expect that certain people will react to them accordingly. There is very little censorship on this site. So get used to a wide variety of opinions not exclusively focused on poop.

That's the genius of Poop Report, and it's definitely not a place for hide-bound traditionalists.

As for my views on religion: I consider myself a highly-spiritual person, but to overlook the fact that the Religious Right has declared war on same-sex oriented people would be folly on my part.

It's an ongoing battle I willingly undertake when I encounter misinformation on the subject. So get used to it.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Poo Zombie's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I don't get the big hullaballoo over sexual orientation either way. Why does anyone care who someone else chooses to sleep with/form relationships with? What the hell does it matter? This completely farcical notion that gay marriage threatens straight couples is especially preposterous. It's not as if straight couples have set forth a shining example of marital values. The very idea of anyone getting all high and mighty and trying to tell another person what's right and wrong for everyone just infuriates me for some reason. But back to the topic at hand. TBW's description of his and his partners' comfort with bathroom activities intrigues me. Are there any women reading PR who feel this comfortable with their SOs? Is Shamefulness primarily a female trait?

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Country Girl
What exactly is the gay poop agenda?

TBW
Does wearing panties make me gay?

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Anonymous Coward's picture
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TBW:

The root of gay contention over the marriage controversy stems not from my views or the religious right's, it stems from the Word of God. The RR are just the mouthpiece of such. For such a "highly spiritual" man on a mission to "wipe out" a "injustice" rooted in God's Word I am suprised you have not yet discerned this.

Ephesians 5:31 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

This and many other bibilical passages are what marriage is based on.

And of course the PR is not a place for traditionalist to express views... not with The Big Wiper standing guard over it with a bottle of Citrate of Magnesium in one hand and an enema bag in the other... ready to fight the big poop fight!

Now I think I understand why you have taken the name The Big Wiper.

A country girl~

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Just to set it straight or er a, make it clear.

I am not a homophobe. I love all people. Even those who hate me for my beliefs.

BUTT we all make mistakes dare I say it, SIN.

The problem I have with many is that they staunchly refuse to admit it and rationalize to fit their needs.

Yes I am far from perfect. Yes I am a sinner saved by grace. I would probably be chastised by my Church going friends for even being here talking about shit!

Mock me, Banish me, Sneer at me if you must.

The Truth in His Love always Wins...and Farts ARE Funny!

A country girl~

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Without getting into the theology of it, which is out of place here, let me just say that I am not interested in ANYONE else's sex life unless I propose to become involved in it myself. Needless to say, this results in an extremely limited field.

Well, I suppose that the humorous angles of some people's bedroom exploits are worth delving into, since all bodily functions are somewhat related. But as to the propriety of others' domestic arrangements, I will share my views if asked, but I am not out to impose them on others, and certainly not on this site, where discussions on axiology, soteriology, etc. are about as out of place as going to Kroger for brain surgery. After all, I am divorced, and, even though I was the innocent party, that makes me an outcast in some people's eyes.

"Let he who is without sin among you..." go back and be a little bit more honest with himself.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points
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I absolutely HATE it when threads get derailed so badly. The question here as I see it is why can't women be comfortable with a natural body function. If she was shopping for instance and had to use a public lavatory (or works)
shouldn't she be allowed to release a big fat jobbie which makes a loud "Kersplosh" sound as it falls into the pan? I say yes.

Also, in light of SamDamnit's most recent revelation I believe it is every Poopreporters responsibilty to visit the forums and see exactly what sort of leader he is, I publicly called for his impeachment and hope the rest of you agree and support me in my quest to find a unifier, not a divider, to lead us.

Dumpster, you said "After all, I am divorced, and, even though I was the innocent party" and further said "Let he who is without sin among you...". So you were innocent as judged by whom....who should not be judging.....hmmmmmm, let me just state from my own sordid past, there is no such thing as an innocent party in any relationship, we are all fallible, we make mistakes.

Peoples sexuality on this site has become a contentious issue for some, I for instance have been getting NO SEX of late, and after the most recent letdown by SamDamnit's bevy of busty babes I'm getting even more contentiouser, and this really affects the quality of my posts. So if you ladies want quality posts from yours truly your gonna have to give up some lovin for Old Bunga, by the way, I don't care if you smell up my washroom, just make sure you don't use the guest soaps.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Bunga, if you're not with the one you love, love the one you're with.

I have been asked to investigate certain illegalities in the Dammit Administration, perhaps leading to Articles of Impeachment. But we need a blue dress. Any volunteers?

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I would like to state for the record, that I did not touch that man! The photos of me lifting up my blue dress, to expose my panties, was just a tongue in cheek tribute to the great J. Edgar Hoover. I am not gay....... not that there is any thing wrong with that. I do however believe that we need a law that keeps shameful shitters from marrying the shameless. As it says in the Excretiastes 2

"Woe on to the shameless that besmirch the shameful. Let not the two reside together under one roof."

SamDamnit!
President and Commander and Chiefof Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

AssBlaster2000's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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All I have to say is damn, here I am sleeping until 1 in the afternoon (went to bed at 4:30 am) whilst controversy is a-brewin' on the Poopreport. All that I could say has been said already; thanks TBW and Dumpster, you guys rule.

PZ, I owe you a quick apology for sounding vitriolic, but the truth is, as I did say in that post, that I've been with the same man so long that I've forgotten what it's like to worry what a romantic interest thinks of you, including your shit stink, and it's not so much as I think badly of you but I just don't understand the motivation, and yes, this poll did take some of its inspiration from your story. I guess I'm just a shit feminist. I want all women to be liberated.

Stormpooper's picture
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All hail president SamDamnit!
Down with the turd terrorists!

The Big Wiper's picture
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Well-said, AB2K!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Big Wiper's picture
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Poo Zombie, about your question to me: I think one of the reasons that my partner and I feel so comfortable with each other in the bathroom is that we are both men. Our anatomy is the same.

To some extent, when men and women cohabitate, they must adjust to the realities that different anatomies create in regards to bathroom habits. Let's face it. Men and women do go to the bathroom differently at least part of the time. Expectations of privacy may also be different for women and men. I debuted on this site detailing my experiences using open stalls and having diminished expectations of privacy. Women may grow up with greater expectations in some cases. These things then get reconciled during marriage, etc.

I hope this answers your question, Poo Zombie.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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There is a sort of dichotemy with women and bathrooms. Their facilities generally offer more privacy, yet they seem to enjoy using them at the same time, more than men do. This is evidenced by their behavior at night clubs and restaraunts.

SamDamnit!
President and Commander and Chiefof Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Bashful Buns's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I think it's so we can keep on talking. I don't usually "invite" other females to accompany me to the bathroom unless I have to bitch about the company being left out of the bathroom (ie. usually my husband).

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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ATTENTION ALL POOP REPORTERS:

Have you seen this at the bottom of SamDamnit's recent posts?

"SamDamnit!
President and Commander and Chief of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean"

I am afraid our good friend Sam has become drunk with power. He took a questionable election plurality, secured only by the connivance of well-placed cronies in positions of high authority, and has begun governing as though he has an overwhelming mandate. Furthermore, unlike Bill Clinton, who signaled right and turned left, Sam signaled left but has turned right. All that we in the world of Poop hold dear is in peril. I heard that he has broken diplomatic relations with The Cameltoe Report, and that he is considering preemptive action against RateMyPoo.com.

For more on this breaking controversy, see "A PoopReporter for President" on the forums.

Remember the words of the great Lord Acton, "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." The time to act is now, while some vestiges of freedom still remain. PoopReporters of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

(Plus, I'll bet he looks awful in a blue dress and a pair of panties.)