I do like the idea of 'David Letterman's Stupid Poop Tricks.' "Sink, poop, sink!"

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Another reason to look at your poop: My turds usually float cause they have trapped farts in there and, as they bleed out, they sink!

There`s nothing better in life than downloading a yard or so of quality coiled floater.

My poops are always under water submarines.

If I were to have a floater, it would mean that I could make a life raft, if I were to be stranded on a deserted island. (ew)

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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

all poops sink. but will it float you for ruthlessly retarded individuals who spend all day in the blog rooms or whatever the fuck you call them discussing your poops. this is whats wrong with society. not criminals. its the idiots. the idiots that live in their moms basement bad mouthing poops who float. fuck you.

Hey big dump,
I have my own basement, and I make over 100k a year, and I still like a good poop story. So, _low me please.

As the parent of a special needs child, I take exception to your blatant disrespect for the retarded. You should be so lucky as to be as happy and as loved as my son.

Besides, his are mostly floaters. As are mine.

My answer isn't up there, if my poop floats, it gives me a target for pissing, trying to cut the bastards in half....I simply have far too mush fun in the bathroom...

First post!
Oops, guess not.
Okay, then, my 57th point!
Yay for me!
Okay, okay, I'll answer the survey: If my poop floats, it means I've once again mistakenly crapped in the big toilet full of mercury we keep for emergencies.
At least I can grab it easily with the salad tongs to get it out. Always look for the silver lining. That's just the way I am.

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Livin' La Vida Caca!

I've heard from trusted sources that healthy people's poop should float. Sometimes mine does, sometimes it doesn't. Depends on what I ate.

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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Hey, Bilge. That comment about your having far too *mush* fun in the bathroom is pretty funny, whether it's a typo or an accurate description. Line of the evening!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Bilgepump, so after you poop, do you stand back up to do your cut-the-logs-in-half game? Otherwise, I can't figure out your pee angle.

Mine usually float. HOWEVER, I read an old post about rhoids and there was a horrifying picture of one so I decided that I ought to start taking metamucil. Since then, my poops have been sinkers. I don't think that's how it's supposed to go.

Methane in your poop makes turds float to the top of the soup! Turds tell all, fart igniter indicator.

Pucker wrote:

Pucker Up (11) -- 01.11.2007

Bilgepump, so after you poop, do you stand back up to do your cut-the-logs-in-half game? Otherwise, I can't figure out your pee angle.

I can't tell you, you'll have to wait for my new reality show.

Has anyone ever had this happen to them? You poop, it sinks, then you hear the sound of soda fizzing and you look to see where it's coming from, and you realize your turd is fizzing?????? I've drank lots of soda (and eaten pop rocks - haha) and taken fizzy dumps before. Is it possible that the soda's fizz never escaped in a belch so it's gotta come out the other end? Maybe this is one for Motherload....

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Shitwit: definitely. However, I never drink soda or eat poprocks. It must be methane??

Fizzing Methane? Is that a new punk rock group?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

big dumpah (not verified) -- 01.10.2007
all poops sink. but will it float you for ruthlessly retarded individuals who spend all day in the blog rooms or whatever the fuck you call them discussing your poops. this is whats wrong with society. not criminals. its the idiots. the idiots that live in their moms basement bad mouthing poops who float. fuck you.

By the sound of it, your poop sinks because all of the air went to your brain.

If we bother you talking about poop, then why in the hell did you waste your time and ours, posting such a stupid comment???

I don't sit behind my computer on PR all day long. I run my part time business from my own house, and when things get slow, I visit PR to kill time.

Floating / Sinking poop.

It might be possible that metaboilsm has a role in wether poop floats or not.

My poop always sinks, yet I have the health and stamina of a teenager, and I am also fairly gassy. So the gas theory and health theory don't make sense in my case.

It would be nice to hear from Motherload to shed some light on this (fecal) matter.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

To All ShitFizzers,
The recipe calls for 1 cup of flour and 1 tablespoon of baking soda, not vice versa.

You people are all as crazy as "shit"!LOLOLOL

I believe that fecal fat content has somewhat to do with the buoyancy for poop. Certainly the density of differing post digestion residue would have an effect on it.

I always wish for a sinker when I take a dump. I sit on the toilet and cross my fingers cause I hate floaters. I hate having to flush 3 or 4 times to get the damn thing down

Ok, my deuces sink. Fast. The only thing that's ever floated in my toilet is vomit.

None of the above. My take has always been gas content. Then there are the phantoms that are just barely bouyant, so that inertia carries them to the bottom—into the pit—then they float back up inside the trap. (Sorry if i spoiled the mystery for anyone.) ;)
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Happy crapping! (_o_)

bad health one will be my luck i am about a 50/50 sink float i've had some that kind of do both just gently sit there half sunk moping around like a dog with no leg to hump

Mine usually sink, but once in a while they float. I've noticed that the larger, more "normal" turds tend to float more often than the small "sticky" turds that I'm cursed with when I'm plugged up from not drinking enough water.

When I get a floater, it means that it is time to make a TP and toothpick sail.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Sink or swim? Well, this morning I had a Zankou Poo which begs explanation. Zankou Chicken is a Mediterraen restaurant chain in Southern California that make the best rotisserie chicken you can imagine.

The chicken comes with flatbread and a DELICIOUS garlic sauce that you spread on the bread. The oil content is...oh...30 weight or so. But I can't resist it. I always get extra sauce and a ton of those little hot yellow peppers. I ate about 8 of those peppers with my meal last night.

I had a hot soufflé flamé floater twice this morning so I'm apt to believe that it is in fact fat content that determines floater prestige. It had the consistancy of chocolate mousse.

My dog, Claudine Longet, actually entered the bathroom and stuck her nose between the seat and rim to examine the savory redolence.

Sam you are a riot!!

PdG - I'd love to try that - the food that is - but I'd be amazed if it caused me to do a floater. It would be worth trying the experiment though.

Seriously, I think floaters and 'sinkers' are just down to size - big ones just sink!

PdG - I'd really love to try that - the food that is - but I'd be amazed if it caused me to do a floater. I'd go for it as an experiment though.

Seriously, I think floaters and 'sinkers' are just down to size - big ones just sink!

PS - what a name for a dog! Brilliant!

if your poop floats you may have gall bladder problems

I have noticed, in recent days, that I have more floaters if I don't chew the cat well enough....

It's not to do with the chewing, Bilge, but the fur factor.

I keep telling you that you've got to PLUCK those suckers before you eat 'em!

I want to know what I should eat to stop mine floating. It takes 3 or 4 flushes to make them go away, and still sometimes I have to smash them up. Sometimes I forget to do it and am really really embarassed when a visitor goes in after me.

To the AC above a ways, I have had gallbladder problems and the floater/sinker ratio did not change after surgery.

Mine are usually a mix. The big part of the poo sinks to the bottom and the little bits float on the top.

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What if everyone farted at once?

latley mine have all sank and gathered next to each other worrying me that there was a plunging soon needed but alas the were much more plyable than i thought. For the most part floating logs is my specialty and a regularity

My poop usually sinks after a heavy drinking session... No idea if that helps at all!

If my poop floats I think it means more fun playing battleship in the tub.Of course you need a few subs to round out the game.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Mine almost always sinks, but on the few occasions when it floats, I credit the floatiness to gas; I often fart a lot before, and sometimes after, passing a poop that floats. Of course, I fart before one that sinks, too--but I still think the floaters come from gas, which can come from any number of things I eat.

My dook always floats. Explosive diarrhea is especially buoyant and quite adhesive - generally speaking, my average bowel movement looks as though the septic tank has reversed itself and has blown a raspberry in the bowl. In fact, I'd be horrified if there came a time my diarrhea DIDN'T float - I rely on it to prognosticate my future. It reads kind of like tea leaves, and a thick, sudsy, soupy brown assplosion, mixed with copious amounts of vegetables, blood, mucus, and bile is an indication of good tidings and smooth sailing ahead. A infusion of quasi-digested corn represents prosperity.

So, yeah - I voted for Letterman!

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"...you guys are missing the genius of Turdgutson's idea. We should certainly not be shitting in the sink, but why not invent a Toilet Disposal? Your tampon, giant turd, or some hooker's hand won't flush? Just flip a switch!" - SamDamnit