How much you actually like to poop

// 126 Comments
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126 Comments on "How much you actually like to poop"

AssBlaster2000's picture
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This isn't about how funny you think poop is, how much you like to read PR, how much you like/don't like picking it up, etc. This is about how much you enjoy the actual physical act of pooping. Y'know, for a long time, even as a member of PR, I didn't really like to poop, ever since I lost my Game Boy and couldn't play Tetris on the toilet anymore. That kind of changed when I got the butt washer and it made pooping so much more efficient. (Free poop schwag is seriously awesome!) I really didn't mind pooping; it was the wiping that was so tedious. It's still not that fun when I have a super huge shit and kinda feel nauseous afterwards, but that really only happens when I poop super early in the morning. Sleeping in takes care of that problem. Hooray for starting work at 10:30.

The Big Wiper's picture
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I like the sensation of taking a good dump. I also like being social with my significant other while either of us is on the pot. We talk, laugh, plan our day, etc.

Guess that's why I've been on PR for three and a half years!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Double Flush's picture
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I never really put that much thought into it, voted for that one. I usually just do it, accept it, and go on. I don't find it offending in the least bit, but it isn't exactly playtime either. Sometimes I like to relax on my own toilet at home, but that's just for what it is and not for pooping. I see them as two separate acts.

By the way, GREAT idea for a poll. I never would have thought of it!

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So... uhh... erm.... POOP!!!

[Insert witty banter here]

grinchygut's picture
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I had to be honest and vote for the "hurts" one. Every now and then it'll actually feel good - what a relief! - but I've never ever considered the experience relaxing. Things are much better than they used to be though. I used to wonder if I was going to have a monster baby instead of a brown torrent for all the awful cramping, and we had the worst plumbing - I had to plunge every single visit (which also made things worse due to the viscious cycle of procrastination). Darn you, IBS!!! And huzzah for PoopReport, without which I could not have fun and enjoyable poops vicariously through others...

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squeeze and pray.

Today's weather: Heavy downpours with intermittant thunder and pervasive smog. Air quality low.

The Random Rectum's picture
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I love the anticipatory feeling of a bowel movement coming on. The gentle pressure of peristalsis at work and a slight puff of gas announcing the impending arrival of a dump is pure bliss.

When it is actually time to go, I will sometimes hold it in just a little longer. This causes me to get goose bumps and the "Shit Shivers" as I call them.

I'm sure this can all be traced back to childhood, but holding in my poop for a few minutes before I absolutely have to go is one of the most pleasurable activities of my day.

~Keep your friends close, and your enemas closer.~

ToiletmanElgin's picture
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I love pooping almost as much as farting! When Im in the bathroom on the throne its one of the few times i can actually be ALONE away from the noise.

doniker's picture
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I picked "I love to poop" because it was the best choice for me. But it's a lie.

Sure I enjoy the relief after dropping a bomb but the actual acts that revolve around pooping really kinda suck.
When you feel the urge you have to stop what your doing, sometimes have to search for a good clean place to shit then the clean up afterwards is sometimes a bitch.
Then unless you shower you have that "less then clean" feeling in your crack all day.

Their are countless other things I could mention but you get the idea.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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i voted for option number 1, as well. i enjoy it as long as it's normal poop, and not the painful kind.
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i love poop.

i love poop.

PoopReport Sucks's picture
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Wait, why has no one yet commented on "Shit Shivers???"

Let me make sure that I have this right? You hold your dump until you get chills then you let loose? What happens after that, you set a kitten on fire??? You have issues, Dude!!

The Dumpster's picture
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My problem is, I never know what is going to come out until I sit down. Sometimes there are some rude surprises. Also, I usually need to shit at the most inopportune times, like when I am running late for something, or during sex.

Thus, I voted for Proposition 4.

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

The Random Rectum's picture
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Pied Pooper-
If you've never experienced the Shit Shivers, you are missing out on something great.
For the record, I have never set a kitten on fire.

~Keep your friends close, and your enemas closer.~

PoopReport Sucks's picture
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Sorry, Random Rectum, you are right. I shouldn't discount what I haven't yet tried. The phrase "Shit Shivers" just caught me wrong I guess. What someone else does, as longg as it doesn't hurt others, isn't for me to say is right or wrong. Hold your poop, jump up and down on one one foot and diddle yourself.......fine with me!!!

little mrs. giant crap's picture
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I don't like pooping... but i dont hate it. It relieves my stomach ache and it also makes me feel like a new lady. Poop is a weird smell. Sometimes i like it and sometimes it disgust me.

healthy 1's picture
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I voted option #1. It does feel kida' good. _______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Fart Poopie's picture
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I keep getting constipated lately, so I voted option one. It's a relief when I can poop one out and feel empty.

pcpooper's picture
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I think pooping feels good... and I can relate to the "shit shivers", although have never thought of it with that wording!

turdfan's picture
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I really love having a nice, normal B.M. I guess that's primarily because for so many years I was chronically constipated because of not eating enough fiber. I used to take lots of laxatives, and then never know when they were going to work. Usually when they did, it was a major case of the squirts, or either they would dislodge a gigantic turd that I thought I was never going to get through my but-hole.

shit myself's picture
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I can not believe this site!!! Its the funniest damn thing I have ever seen, yes i voted for number one but I didnt think after reading these that I was as happy about it as some others. This was great! thx for the good laugh!

Zachary's picture
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When I take a big poop it feels really good and I'm really relieved. Also, pooping is the one thing that forces me to relax, for some people, pooping is the only time they do get to relax.

Hamster's picture
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I hadn't seen this thread before, but Random Rectum has summed up with his comments about the 'Shit Shivers' exactly how it is for me. Like him, it is a sensation I've enjoyed since childhood - so obviously I voted for the first option.

Bilgepump's picture
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If somebody else already said how you feel, why on earth would you feel the need to leave a comment??? You really are a rodent, leaving little droppings everywhere you go, none of them worth a damn.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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It scares me that we had 18 votes for a colostomy bag! To me there is nothing quite so satisfying as a good dump! All you need is good reading material a nice dookie inducing meal perhaps a candle or two and youre all set. Ahhh nirvana!
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Hamster's picture
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Bilgepump - your last few words just about sum up you and your comments.

MSG's picture
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I always look forward to pooping, and enjoy the act itself. As I get positioned on the seat, I try to anticipate what sort of movement I will have (lately, with my high-water regime, it mostly soft but formed). Then, as the moment arrives, I lean forward, see if the b.m. will start without pushing (most likely not), and push gently. Once the turd has started out, I push harder to get the sensation of a nice long log sliding smoothly and continuously out. I enjoy that sensation very much. If the movement is hard, or harder to move, so that I have to push pretty hard, I enjoy the feeling of the thicker turd coming out. I also listen to see what noises the poop makes while leaving; rarely, it is the "crackle" that so many speak of, but more often it is either quite silent except for splashes, or makes a soft sliding hissing sound, rather like ffffff. When the first wave is out, I wait to see if any more waves will come; if so, I enjoy them as much as the first. The only times I do not enjoy pooping are (1) diarrhea, which I dislike; or (2) extreme constipation, which for me is very rare, maybe every few years. On the whole, pooping is a highly pleasurable activity, including looking in the bowl afterward to see my results.

Toilet Expert's picture
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Couldn't have said it better myself MSG! Pooping is the best! Once and awhile, though, I don't mind a small bit of diarrhea. It has a very cleansing feeling. The trouble is, diarrhea rarely comes in small amounts.

Jimini-crack-it's picture
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I have to admit that pooping has gotten alot more fun now that it is the only time I really take a break from work during the day. I work at a big time ad agency and we work like fucking 15hrs a day. So I try to take a poop or two during the day so I can get 15 mins to myself and not think about work. In some ways it sux, you've got to enjoy the peace but in a semi-public toilet. Having blackberry and iPhone games to play seriously enhances the experience...shit, I'm on the toilet right now thanks to the magic of the iPhone...anywho love to poop, but mostly cause its when I take a break.

Postman's picture
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I love it. Not only does it feel good, but it's also my alone time. It's quiet, I can catch up on some reading, and when I'm done, I can look in the bowl and be amazed at the amount of shit i produced. I mean, what's not to like?

shitake boy's picture
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I voted for "I love to poop". The reason for this is two-fold...1) it is a healthy thing to do, especially the fact that I suffer from IBS, and 2)it is trully a time when I can really say that I am relaxing. I do like it when I get to poop in front of my wife, and she will do the same with me at times, especially in the morning when we are getting ready for work, or in the evening, while getting ready for bed, and we both need the bathroom at the same time. Ideally I like to poop 2-3 times a day, but lately I have been getting 1-2 times each day. As a teen I pooped 4 times a day. I am not shy about pooping. As a whole pooping the one of the times I trully get to relax, it's me, the toilet, and possibly some reading material. On a day that I don't poop, the day is just not as good, and I don't feel clean when I don't poop on any given day. It looks as thought baby shitake will not be shy about it either._______


In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

The Shit Volcano's picture
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My original vote was for "I love to poop", but it really depends on the situation. It is kind of so-so most of the time, not a moment of ecstasy but certainly not dreaded. If I have really bad crampy, liquid diarrhea I LOVE to poop and it feels just as good as taking a piss after holding it too long. If I have a giant log with bumps and sharp points, then no, I hate to poop. But most of the time it's okay.

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I can totally relate to the shit shivers. Wow i didnt even know anyone else experienced those. Its a great feeling to sit down and keep your dump inside for like 15 to 30 minutes and I get chills from it. I love it even more when I can totally concentrate on the feeling and nobody is around talking to me. I love it!

shitake boy's picture
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Maybe someone can explain to me what the "shit shivers" are? I am an intelligent guy, and cannot relate to this "shit shiver" phenomenon. All I know is that pooping is very important to me, and I seriously love to poop. It just feels right.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i like to poop so much to i like the feeling it gives you and the excitement when your almost done...me and my friend have this saying..WHAT R U DOING POOPIN LIKE A LADY...lol its funny

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Pooping is normally a very pleasant experience for me. This statement does not apply to hot runny diarrhea or oversized dooks that rend the flesh of your pucker.

A moderately large turd sliding slowly from your anus is a sensory delight. I have often wondered what it would be like to extrude a turd such as this while sneezing,
scratching an itch, having an orgasm and receiving the news that you had just won the lottery. I think your heart would stop with all this sensory overload.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

i like poop's picture
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i absolutly love the shit shivers and that feeling pooping gives you. Then when i can i go into the shower and give myself an orgasm. o man i love that part of my day

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i voted for i love to poop. b/c i do. theres nothing better than gettin a case of good shit shivers (im glad i know what to call that sensation now) and then taking a nice huge dump. mmm. love it.

shitake boy's picture
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What are the "Shit shivers"? I definitely like to poop, but don't know if I have ever experienced this phenomenon. You can never take pooping for granted. Deep down, I think that everyones loves to poop. If this was not the case, there would not be a fine website dedicated to this most important health topic.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

hayley's picture
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I voted I love to poop. It really is relaxing and does feel good having a big long turd sliding out. I feel so much better afterwards too. But could do without the smell. As soon as I get to work in the morning's I gotta poop, it's like clock work for me. I get cranky and irritable if I go one day without pooping.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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I enjoy a good dump! Of course nowadays you don't have the luxury of bringing in the Sunday paper with you but I usually bring a good catalogue and either shop for my favorite cigars or anything else I might need. Once the farting and dumping are over I feel lighter more relaxed its a wonderful thing!
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AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

prarie doggin's picture
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And I'm sure some of your other favorite cigars are doing the back stroke just below.

shit shiverer's picture
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OMGOMGOMG! I NEVER knew what to call the feeling right before you have to poop... I really like the feeling of knowing that I am going to have to poop and then holding it for 15-30 mins. I only do this when I am alone and can make strange faces if I have to while doing it. Sometimes, the poo starts to come out in which case 1. I have to clean my drawers and get new drawers 2. I head to the bathroom and relieve myself (the rest of the way).. the only thing I have to add to this-- does anyone get really--- artsy--- I don't know how else to describe this feeling--- like I get very creative during this time (NOT with my poop!!!) I always thought I needed to see a psych about this but how the hell do you go and sit in front of someone and say I like the feeling of PRE POOP!?!?!?!

shitshiverer's picture
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OMGOMGOMG-- I can't believe I have a name for what I do--well kinda--- the SHIT SHIVERS!!! I love to withhold going for about 15-20 mins and then I give in. Sometimes tho, I start pushing it out before I get to the potty soooo 1. time to clean up the drawers 2. time to put on new drawers. I definitely need to be alone when I do this. Does anyone get creative when they are withholding???? I think that is SO weird but I get good ideas, not shitty ideas when I hold it in. HA! I think I feel guilty about doing this? Why? I thought I needed psych help. Maybe I do but how do I go to a therapist and talk face to face about poop habits. NO CAN DO. Has anyone gone to the therapist for this?

vegetarian pooper's picture
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I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

last night I felt alot better after pooping because I got bloated a few hours after eating alot of beans(I eat those for protien instead of meat) with cassava root and tofu then when I was done there were floaters but I only had to flush twice because this time I held the poop down with the stick of the plunger then flushed

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

Dump's picture
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Pooping is fun. It is the highlight of my day. Sometimes when I am down I try to force one out to make my day go better. When I fight with my wife I will lock myself in the bathroom and poop. Sometimes I dream of poop. If I could write a song it would be "The way you move me". Plop, blunk!, blush, and flop! Into the toilet you drop. Oh poop, where have you been and where are you going? If there is one thing I need right now it is you in my life. I miss you poop, I really do. Constipation sucks, it destroys lives. Make poop, not war!

Noraa's picture
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The only better feeling than pooping when you really need it is Sex!

vegetarian pooper's picture
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I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

I like pooping..I lose a pound or 2 every night and I feel much after that

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

sittingpretty's picture
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I don't really like pooping. It comes when I'm sleeping. It makes me very sleepy when I have to poop. it doesn't make sense. it is a nuisence to me.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Fecalonious Dump's picture
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Whooaa Noraa...

Fecalfeliacs, fear my butt's wrath...for I too, poo.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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I love pooping. It's pretty much the highlight of my morning. Before I go to work, there's nothing like taking a good shit while reading the morning paper. Kinda helps the rest of the day go smoothly.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points
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Guy I worked with reckoned that shiiting was the 2nd best sensation known to man.
"Yeah, so sex is no 1, right?" we said.
"Nah, getting to 63 and being able to pee OK" was the reply.
I think the "shit shivers" may be related to "Last Fart Roulette", where deep down you know that it is a bad gamble, but you might just be able to put off the trip to the cludgie by letting the fart that is calling go.
Why don't we learn?

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Chief, your comments never cease to amaze me. currently I hate pooping because I am going through an anti gallbladder attack. This basically involves getting explosive shits to the point of me feeling like I am shitting out my stomach lining. After a good week of that I'll be constipated for a week or so and then straight back to the squirts, this should go on for a good month or 2, boy am I ever glad I had my gallbladder removed.
Damn computer, there is no insert sarcasm button!
Butt under "normal" circumstances I truly enjoy a good shit, a nice magazine, and a smoke, ahhh relaxing.
_______
Oops I did it again, I shit when I fart, I crapped in my pants.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.