Men: how you drain that last bit of pee

// 254 Comments
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254 Comments on "Men: how you drain that last bit of pee"

Anonymous Coward's picture

You guys are hilarious

Anonymous Coward's picture

i grab my balls and lift vertically. it gets every drop!

Vercelli's picture

Hi all. I made a comment here in 2008 and I'm back now. Just like Scallydude, I wiped my wiener when I was a little child. I was really careful to dry it completely everytime, I can say that my briefs were perfectly stainless. In school I used the closed stall just like some classmates did.

Things changed when we moved and I attended a new school specialized in PE. It was full of macho sporty boys who often brawled and were full of injuries. Some of them became soldiers by now. At first I thought that they would mock or bash me every day. Fortunately I was wrong: we became really good friends.

But the cubicles were uncloseable and everybody pissed in the urinals which had no dividers. If somebody went to the stall they opened the door and made stupid jokes, bandaged him in toilet paper etc. Until that, I thought all guys at least shake the drops a bit. I was surprised that my new schoolmates never waited even a second for the dribbles. I tried to shake but they said: "shaking is for wussies, do not play with it."

The first weeks in damp briefs were really uncomfortable. A bit later I started to forget about shaking or wiping it even when I was alone. We went to many bike trips with my new mates and I got used to the rushed pee breaks where my dick was still heavily dripping into my boxers when we were on the bike again.
(I may continue later).

Black Zack's picture

Proper Pisser, shaking is under 30 seconds for you?! For me the whole piss is usually under 30 seconds. Actually none of my mates wait more than 2-3 seconds after they finished it, and in our high school you can't shake it more than twice because they will tease you. Boys have to accept the wet spots, even if it's really uncomfortable sometimes. I don't want to be odd so I just bear them. It took me a long time to get used to it especially in winter because I wiped as a kid. Now I barely shake it. I also have a chill stain on my cock when I write this. I think most young guys live with this here.

prarie doggin's picture
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You guys are pissing me off.

Littlepunk's picture

Well, Proper Pisser, you say that:
-You don't have a bath before you have sex and you make your girlfriend smell your used undies after a long day - I would never do this, no matter if I shake it or not.
-In junior high you had skid marks - I wipe well so I almost never have any.
-Your ass was so dirty that you had to scratch yourself through your brown stained undies.
It's your business, but after these you call me disgusting...
I also didn't say that piss stains are manly, well maybe it was somebody else. I think it's a bad habit to piss too fast and it's a downside of being a slob guy just like me. I just admitted it and didn't say you should follow me. Of course stained underpants won't make you manlier.

Proper Pisser's picture

Ok, I couldn't even make it through these comments. I honestly don't pay attention to other people's pissing habits, and I'm absolutely astounded by the number of people who don't properly shake their dicks after pissing. What in the world makes you think it's manly to piss your pants? You're pants pissers! You have pissed your pants! That's not manly! That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. What manly is proper dick maintenance. I'm not talking about wiping, the amount of piss you'll get from wiping your dick is insignificant, if it's more than a fraction of a droplet you can just shake it off. In case you didn't know, piss smells! So you're getting with a chick, you take off your pants (maybe even before you take them off) and she realizes your crotch area smells like piss. Now I'm no 'metrosexual' but my underwear damn sure doesn't have piss and shit stains on them. I got ragged on one time in junior high for having a nickel sized piss mark on my tighty whities, and I've never had a piss mark since. That's kindergarten shit. How much extra time would it take to shake your dick? Less than 30 seconds I'm sure. What are you doing that's so important you'll piss your pants to save 30 seconds? Frankly I find walking around with piss in your pants disgusting. Ladies, I see some of you talking about your boyfriends' pissy underwear. Is this cool with you? And I also hear people mention skid marks. I don't think I've had skid marks since junior high either, when I was too stupid to realize digging and scratching my dirty kid asshole through my underwear wasn't OK. Piss and shit both have very strong odors, and I can't imagine what you people must smell like. As for you guys who think more than 3 shakes and you're playing with it, I say less than 3 shakes and you're pissing your pants. Personally, given the choice I'd rather play with it. And if you think you can't piss standing up without dribbling, well you're just not trying hard enough. I wholeheartedly support the practice of applying pressure to the taint to grab the last bits, and shaking and squeezing to get the rest out. Case closed. And locked.

Littlepunk's picture

I went to piss with four mates some days ago and strangely we talked about the last drops so I thought I could share this with you.
One of them wiped it with tp in the kindergarten but none of us wiped after the age of 6. Two m8s shake regularly, the two others say it's needless to shake and boys must get used to some wet stains. I say that 3 shakes are allowed but I'm too impatient for them.

Annoying Orange's picture

I just shake my ass a bit just like a gogo dancer.

Unmentioned's picture

One thing you didn't ask:
Do you wipe your butt after pissing?

Scallydude's picture

Hi folks, I just can't vote. I could choose all options. It depends on the situation, my mood, the weather, my mates, the colour of my pants etc. When I was a little kid I usually wiped with TP. Later in school I shook 2 times, but sometimes I still wipe if I use the stall and the weather is cold.
If I'm in a hurry, I just put it away. Or when I go out with friends and we piss somewhere I also rarely shake.
I shake well before I go to bed. I don't like to sleep in wet underpants.
Dorm mates usually shake twice. They used to have some small stains on their boxers. I only know one boy named Sebastian who's really careless and piss madly fast but he used to wear black jeans because he likes metal.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Unless your dad is very old or disabled, he's a slob.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

pinkgurl's picture

My dad walks around the house in his boxer shorts.When he comes out of the bathroom after peeing,he always has a big wetspot on his shorts.I do the laundry and on the inside front of his boxers are completely full of yellow stains that even sometimes makes weird designs.Dad also gets alot of pee droplets all over the toilet seat and now i am even use to sitting on them.

Anonymous Coward's picture

Pushing up and squeezing the taint a bit really works. Try it!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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I use the samurai method....I invite my martial arts friends into the bathroom and let them karate chop the last few drops from my weenie.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture

I use the Muslims'way.
i.e apply gentle upward pressure under the base of the penis once you are finished.

dampdavid's picture

Pedro, I can understand your impatience. While sometimes it's not too bad, I usually end up cutting it off a bit too soon due to impatience. Usually as soon as I think I'm done, I just put it back without shaking. There's usually a 2-3 inch pee stain in front as the result. Sometimes I have a problem of putting peeing off until I absolutely need to go, and end up leaking a little on the way there or while getting it out. I've rarely ever gotten a visible pee stain on my pants though, and definitely mind then. Usually my white or grey boxer briefs are more than enough though.
Lately, I've been trying new boxer briefs without the Y-front and I've actually gotten much worse! I may need to switch back... its much more difficult to get out in a hurry, and my underwear is paying the price...

Pedro's picture

I don't know other guys' habits... but somehow I thought that I was more careless about this than it's usual for men. I'm a bit surprised seeing how many of you guys put it back too soon and wear stained under shorts. Now I don't have to worry about being gross.
I've always been impatient when I take a leak. I remember that sometimes I tried to shake it dry when I was a kid but I gave it up because there came always a new drop. I find it useless and I tend to rush it anyway. I mostly wait the end of the stream but not more, I pull back my underpants quickly so my dick used to sprinkle a bit on the waistband and on the front. The outline of pale yellow patches always decorate the front. Sometimes I thought I should be more careful but now I can see that this is common and accepted.

Katsat2's picture

This forum still keeps developing. It's good but why don't you visit misterpoll dot com and answer my polls:
1. Guys only - dribble after pissing
2. Guys and peeing - new version
Please help to make them better! It's only a minute, they're quite short. A similar poll by another author:
Guys underwear and peeing.
I would like to see at least more than 100 votes for each of them, but they're all under 100. There are far more votes here.
Thanks.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I don't think anyone's fully free from a small wet spot on their underwear. I'm resigned to the fact that there will always be a small-medium wet spot on the front of my briefs. Usually its no bigger than the size of a quarter, but when I'm in a rush sometimes things get a little damper down there. A few times I've started peeing before I'm fully out, but that's pretty rare. Usually what happens is there's still a little left in there when I close up, that likes to spread into a sizeable wet spot up front. While it does tend to show on my white briefs, I've never really minded that much. My best friend is the same way. He can get away with a little more since he wears colored boxers. It's just part of being a guy...

Derrik's picture

man, I thought I was the only one with this problem. like right now, I was scratching my balls, and my hand now kinda smells like pee. and my boxers do too. I hate it. I thought that maybe it was because I drink a lot of coffee and coffee is a diuretic, and maybe it affected my peeing. but evidently this is common to many men.
i've almost decided to wipe with tp every time. even if I shake and shake, and even try to squeeze out the pee, it still drips a few drops out after being put away. the extent to which I go to drain it all makes me look like I'm playing with myself at the urinal. jeez, it sucks.

Radu's picture

I was in summer camps where the facilities were also really poor. There were only 1-2 toilets for many kids and there were a long concrete hole with a common flush next to the wall. We used that not only as a urinal but many guys pooped there too. There was no TP so some boys didn't even wipe their butts. I used tissue paper for poop but I recognized that the nomadic environment made us more careless about pissing. In school shaking was usual but by the end of the camp we just peed next to that concrete hole in a line and tucked our wieners back without any dripping time. Once we played card in our room wearing only shirts and underpants and the sizable wet stains from a recent pee slowly dried between our legs while we played. I remember I won a drink like a base for later wet spots :) What about your camp or trip memories?

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Tiny.....To not be snobbish around those who are not as financially advantaged as oneself is an admirable trait. Your parents taught you well.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Tiny Michael 's picture

My name IS Michael, and my age is 24. I am now very tall, and the origin of 'Tiny' in my name I will explain some other time, but comments on this thread regarding wetting underwear and the floor of the loo or bathroom has reminded me of an experience when I was a young teenager.

Church choirs virtually closed down during school summer holidays, and young Christians had annual conferences at different churches in our diocese over a long weekend. Some slept over in the church hall rooms, one for boys and one for girls, but some stayed in private homes. We had more fun in the church halls, but one year I was put down to stay on my own with a couple and their daughter, several years younger than myself. (In a room in their attic on my own, I must add. This room belonged to an older boy in the army, whom I only met several years later.) Washing facilities were primitive. I was used to a shower at home every morning, and I had a boiled kettle which was poured into a bowl in the kitchen, and the family kept out of the way when they knew I was there. (Actually, there were no showers in the churches either - I don't think we came home smelling very fresh.)

The toilet facilities were in an outhouse. There was no lock on the door. Worse still, there was no light. Even worse, the seat was a long wooden one which stretched from wall to wall, and the middle didn't lift up. I was at the age where a certain part of my body was inclined to be very stiff in such situations. So, I could not trust myself to stand and point it in the direction that I wanted it to go. I couldn't see what I was doing. I had no alternative but to sit down, dropping my trousers no further than I needed. At home, our mum (I have an older brother) was very strict about us leaving the toilet which we used as we would want to find it - seat and floor and inside the pan. (We are grateful to her that she taught these standards, and we internalised them and made them our own. Although it was August, it was quite dark when I arrived back at the house after the evening sessions of the conference. I felt round for the chain to pull, and eventually found it.

In the morning after breakfast - they gave me a very hearty traditional English breakfast which we didn't have at home - I would say "I'm just going outside". This time it was for my daily post-breakfast operation - what one of my friends euphemistally called 'sitting with my trousers round my ankles', when we 'slept over' at his house or ours. Actually, the wooden seat was very comforable and warm to sit on. There were 2 kinds of paper available - a toilet roll, and some ripped up newspaper. I used the roll, with several layers of thickness, making sure that my fingers didn't touch my bottom. When I got to the church, I washed my hands in the men's facililities. (I also took some paper handkerchiefs of my own out on subsequent mornings, because they were obviously not a wealthy family. I trust that they didn't check the amount of paper I had used each morning, and think that I hadn't wiped my bottom!)

I had been brought up in a comfortable middle class home, with good standards - but one of those standards was not to be a snob. There were people much worse off than we were. I kept in touch with that family, and visited them when in that area, though always making sure to 'make myself comfortable' before going to see them. They have now moved to a house with 'mod cons'.

PS What prompted me to write: when I urinate first thing in the morning, I often still sit down, because of 'morning wood'. as my pyjamas are coming off to go in the shower. I do sit down to urinate when having to use facilities in other people's houses, and I like cups of tea. (I can't be bothered with the view that this makes me less manly.) I don't have bowel movements in other people's houses unless I 'sleep over'.

Anonymous Coward haha good one's picture

USE TP...

Radu's picture

Do you mean wanking in the underpants and wearing it after that? No thanks, I think most guys don't do this, at least here. It's disgusting. And I don't believe that any kind of stains attract too many girls, that girlfriend was the only one who was into pee dribbles.
Once I saw something about this in a book in university. It was an old research about the village life and traditions around Timisoara and an easy girl who was with many lads said that Germans always had dirtier undies than Romanians. Knowing my old classmates it's hard to imagine. More stained undies than Stefans'?!

prarie doggin's picture
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So Radu, what would be considered lazier than shaking it? I'm guessing that stain would be quite larger and would attract a lot more Romanian girls.

Radu's picture

This poll is funny. Here in Romania young lads are similar in peeing like everywhere else. In schools I knew shakers and also dribble dudes. A classmate once wore white shorts before the summer vacation and he was a typical impatient one so the yellowness developed on the front from day to day and everybody could see it. Nobody commented it. That boy Stefan also played soccer sometimes with a long fresh wet stain on his shorts which went down his leg.
I usually shake it but never enough I think and in school it frequently happened that I just zipped back quickly like Stefan and other friends. When I was 16 I had a girlfriend who really liked the stains. She told it to me when I came from school and tried to hide my white briefs cause I didn't shake that time so yellow spots covered the front, it spurted even on the waistband. She said she wanted a typical lazy guy like me. Of course I didn't want to be cleaner than Stefan in that year.

Mike D's picture

Zack, I feel like I can identify with your roomate! I'm pretty careless when it comes to pissing, and my briefs are always yellow and sometimes a bit damp in the front by the end of the day. Occasionally I start pissing a bit too soon before my penis is fully out of my underwear. I almost never shake it when I put it back in. I wait till I'm done most of the time, but almost always end up with a significant squirt or 2 left. I've only seen one friend as bad as me- I was waiting for him to finish pissing in the locker room, and I guess I was rushing him, cause when he turned around (he was just wearing his boxer briefs) half his crotch was wet and he let out a small stream of piss that fell to the floor. He didn't seem to care, but it was definitely noticeable, and we just laughed it off as I ran up to the urinal to piss. I wasn't one to talk, since there was already a growing wet spot on the front of my briefs from waiting to piss so long.

Black Zack's picture

Sometimes I do 1 or 2 quick shakes but usually I just put my penis back in my boxers. At least I wait till it stops. I had a roommate who always finished his morning piss in his mostly white briefs and left the toilet with long stains quickly spreading on the front of his undies. I rarely have so big stains like that guy, only if I'm really in a hurry, but I feel the stain after every piss. It's the normal part of being a guy.

JOE COOL's picture

I always squat a little bit and push up btwn my legs, that pumps out the last drops and a shake or two.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I don't know about it being a macho thing to stand far back, maybe, but I did know a couple guys in highschool who would stand back quite a bit in PE, and their boxers were usually pretty stained and wet in the front when we were changing. I'm probably somewhere in the middle in terms of how far back I stand, and rarely shake so I usually get at least a quarter sized wet spot in my boxers, sometimes more if I'm impatient.

Lonely Long Distance Runner's picture

What a long discussion! Sometimes I also wonder why are some guys such in a hurry at the urinal. But you forget about a simple cause. It's a macho thing to stand far from the urinal, and pee with a strong stream. Guys who do this can't start and finish pissing normally because the first and last spurts are slower and the boy stands far enough to piss on the floor if the stream is not strong enough. They can't really avoid to leave some on the floor this way but they minimize it with zipping back too soon. Some schoolmates who played the tough guy stood astride a bit, quite far from the urinal and zipped up before the jet completely ends. The less they left on the floor, the more they had in their boxers. Once a roommate borrowed my jeans and when he gave it back the inner side of the front pockets were full of dried piss stains. When I pee, I stand closer, and shake well. So: what about you folks? Do you stand close or far, shake or no shake? I ask it because I think closer+shake and far+no shake are more typical than the two opposite options. But I don't have so many occurances about my mates peeing methods like some people have here above, so maybe my theory is false. What do you say?

Anonymous Coward's picture

I sometimes shake, sometimes just wait till its done and put it back in. Its not usually that bad, but the front of my boxer-briefs are always a little yellow by the end of the day.. There's usually a wet spot if I peed recently...I've found there's usually a few drips left regardless...

survey: 1E, 2C, 3C, 4D, 5B, 6E, 7A 7F, 8D, 9C, 10C, 11B, 12C

prarie doggin's picture
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Yeah LBK, I even hated beating up those kids lest they manage to shove their hands in your face or some place worse.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

I had a buddy growing up who did the same thing. I swear I don't think he ever wiped his ass, just for the fact that he could wipe shit on pens and what have you and toss them at people. Anything that would go down his pants you would pray to god didn't make it back to see the light of day because they would be forever defiled. Those were brutal times for him, as I pounded him regularly during those years.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

The ass crack is the best place to keep a pen (or spoon) handy. Or a Slim Jim (wrapped of course).

Hey BM, I am currently in the arctic snowmobiling about 20 miles east of the date line. It's now 2:14 pm, and I am going out for a frappaccino. Let me know if the poofterometer picks it up.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

pd,
I have a work-buddy who (many years ago) had this habit of "browning" things. Things like pens and pencils would take a trip down the back of his pants and then be replaced in their original positions.
Hilarious.
This same bloke used to like tormenting Boofhead (see the story), and was once in the meal room on a hot summer day, sitting back, with his hand down the front of his pants.
He said "You know how on a hot day like today, your nuts get sweaty and itchy? You know how good it feels to scratch 'em? You know the best thing to scratch your nuts with?"
With that, he pulled his hand out from the front of his pants, and produced a teaspoon, and proudly proclaimed-

"Boofhead's spoon!"

_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

*throws up in lovely technicolor* I'll use my own.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
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Leandra, I suggest you sniff the pencils before you use them.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Ack, now I associate my sub doing that as well...UGH!!!
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Well you asked and I had to make it apply so there ya go. Now you know. And I wouldn't be saying something like that if it wasn't true.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Oi. I didn't need to know that (does he really? OMG)
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Vin diesel, same as the engine. Which really isn't that great since he does gay porn and I'm sure he also has a scat fetish. So maybe diesel isn't the right name for him.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Lots of times! He's kewl like that. How do you spell his name?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

No that wasn't quite right. How often do you have this sub, because you need to spend more time with your teacher.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

I love the guy, he's the bomb dot com, but he never teaches anything. He reminds me of a really fat Vin Diesl (I have no idea if that's how you spell his name)
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Three cheers for the sub!
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

No, I had a sub that told me to fuck off. I want my other teacher to come back so I know these things!!!
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Well duh leandra, when you're standing upside down all day, of course your shit's gonna be all retarded. Didn't you learn anything in school?

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Water circles the bowl, and sink in the opposite direction south of the equator.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Ow, soda thru the nose, very uncomfortable. Do things really go backward and everything in the southern hemisphere?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Scumbag, did leandra hack into your account to write that last comment. I'm sure BM's pooftometer went thru the roof. Or I guess since he's in the southern hemisphere, thru the floor. I couldn't imagine being upside down all day long. Your shit goes up, your dick goes down, it makes no goddam sense. I need to go to the southern hemisphere just so I can watch the toilet water spin bass ackwards.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

...fine then. No more Twilight. From any of us. Deal?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

*cradles bollocks, minces to the kitchen singing 'YMCA'*

Poopsy McGee's picture
l 100+ points

"Has bollocks, cups them as you would a baby bird..."

If you weren't so perpetually light in the loafers, you might be able to handle a tug on the nuts. But, since you are a stinky old poof, and like to be handled like the delicate flower you are, I guess it's strictly caresses for you.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

We don't tug our bollocks, we caress them, scratch them, play with them, adjust them, generally treat them nicely, but tugging our bollocks would hurt. We tug our todgers. But the rest is a succinct enough definition, Poopsy.

Poopsy McGee's picture
l 100+ points

Oh Christ, the way you glossed over what constitues girly, El Scumbag....really?

That makes me wonder how you would sum up the term "manly".

"Has bollocks, tugs them daily. Likes beer, boobs and boobs with beer on them."

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Hmmm... I guess that one looks good on brown shoes and one lookms good on black, Leaky.

Which reminds me that we have a band over here that I'm rather fond of, called "Shit & Shine", who are an aquired taste and who sound like they are gargling shinola and carved their instruments out of shit.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points

Will his windows fall out? - wait, no that's putty.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Scumbag, you're so full of bollocks! You have such control over the english language but I wonder if you could tell the difference between shit and shinola.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

I fear that some colonial readers may require a translation of this colloquialism. Therefore:

'Teeny' is a corruption of 'tiny' but also refers to things specifically to do with teenagers.

'Girly' - specifically girl-ish, relating to subjects for which females have a fondness, like romantic novels, cosmetics and the appeal of boy bands.

'Bollocks' - the most versatile swear word in the English language which can be used in at least a dozen contexts. Specifically meaning testicles, but generally used contemptuously to describe the worthlessness of something, lies and untruths, nonsense, or to mess something up. As in "What a load of old bollocks that new James Bond film is", "Don't talk fucking bollocks, Vicar, of course Jesus enjoyed a good dump!", "Sorry President Bush, but what you are saying is complete bollocks" or "No mate, I'd better not have a Guinness before my big date, 'cause if I fart it might bollocks up my chances".

Paradoxically, adding "the" before "bollocks" implies the opposite, in that if something is "the bollocks" it is superior, as in "that new album is the bollocks" or "Am I any good at footie? I'm the bollocks pal...". "The dog's bollocks" implies even greater superiority.

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Poor BM had steam coming out his ears this afternoon.

The voice of sanity

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

I must say BM, I apologize for perpetuating the twilight bullshit, as I'm rather sick of hearing about it from my girlfriend, and then have to read it here in random ADHD trips by leandra, but at the same time, I'm not agreeing with her but rather making her miserable by antagonizing her with the thought of the characters layng massive loads. But we really have seriously derailed in the last few stories.

spattacus's picture
l 100+ points

I just googled teeny girly bollocks and got.....
Did you mean: tiny girly bollocks

The results that turned up below would definitely NOT be of interest to Leandra; however they do look more interesting than Twaddlelite.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Sod politeness. I'm sick of hearing about teeny-girly-moisty-knickers-pretendy vampire shit here.
If I wanted to discuss teeny-girly-bollocks, I'd find a website which caters to such nonsense.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

Don't worry BM. Eventually, once a certain (admittedly loveable) young lady realises that despite the occasional thread derail, people would rather discuss scatalogical matters, she will stop going on about it and talk about shit instead, but at the moment everyone's too polite. Be patient. It'll get back on track eventually.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Sorry, I'd just visited another thread, and it was chock-a-block with teeny-pretendy-vampire bollocks.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

I think I'll go steal a Twilight comic (so no money goes to the author), and rip it up page by page, and use the pages to commit unspeakable acts involving dog poo.
Call me a flaming asshole if you like, but I'm SO-O-O sick to death of having these threads polluted by mindless kiddie-drivel.
This is supposed to be a POOP HUMOR SITE, get it?
POOP
HUMOR!
There is NOTHING REMOTELY CONNECTED TO POOP HUMOR in the ramblings of teeny-pretend-smexy (whatever the Hell that is) vampire fans and their borderline-psychotic fantasies.
Jesus Christ.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

People actually do that??? !!! I'm never going to the pool again.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Good point there blind mullet. I must say, there have many times when I have thought that'd it be a very satisfying feeling to either pee while I'm laying in bed or to shit myself when I just can't wait anymore, but I know the cleanup would be a bitch, and that's rather embarrassing no matter how good it feels. And leandra, since you think it's so gross, I'm assuming you haven't willingly peed your pants in a while. You don't ever pee in the swimming pool or shower? It's the same feeling.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Okay, nasty!
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Aaah... go ahead. Pee in bed. Its a lovely feeling, and as long as you're using the rubber bed-sheets, the pee will only mix with last night's KY anyway.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

I admit, there have been many morning will I'll be sleeping so hard I don't know I have to pee, so my brain starts fucking with me and makes me dream I'm doing something and then takes me to the bathroom where I'm peeing for days, then I wake up and freak out because I've gotta piss really bad before I pee in the bed. It's a horrible feeling.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

If I wake up late, I've probably peed in bed.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points

Wow, I have never read somany comments at one time, and I'm so glad I found this as this is a problem I've been having for a while. Apparently when my bowels decided to leak my dick decided to do the same. I thought I was finished peeing the other day at work, shook my shit, stuck it in my pants, and next thing I know, I released a ton of piss that was holed up in there and had a lil wet spot on my jeans. I was pissed. Luckily with jeans, it's not as noticable. I used to have to wear khakis at my last job and it was real bad. But I shake and shake and squeeze and shake and I always still leave a lil. And I hate too when I piss while shitting, then stand up to wipe and realize I gotta piss again, so I'll wipe, turn around and pee again and go about my day. And scumbag, I sit to pee in the mornings when I have a morning wood. I'll sit real far forward so I don't shoot myself and let it go and it's orgasmic. If I wake up late tho, I just pee in the shower.

Katsat's picture

Hi Dan! Thank you for the efficient answers. My habits? I shake it well because I can't stand the chill spots. That's why I would like to understand my ex-schoolmates. Sometimes I followed their hassle when we peed together, and I always wondered after that: how could they forget about the wetness so easily? It's not so bad, it just constantly comes to my mind while I would like to do anything. Sometimes we walked after a fast piss and I thought I was the only one who felt it constantly while they maybe didn't even recognize the cold feeling, it was so natural and common for them. So how does it work? Otherwise isn't it strange that peeing your pants is childish but having big stains is manly for many guys? I also don't understand why do some boys tease those who wipe the last drops. Yes, pee stains are the norm in many schools like you said, but why?

Dan the Dribbler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Hey Katsat, sure.

14. When I was younger, I shook once or twice sometimes, sometimes just putting it back dripping. While part of it was just a gradual thing as I got older, I remember noticing that my older brother almost never shook, and in the dirty laundry his briefs always had large yellow stains in front (along with some pretty bad skidmark). My father was the same, and maybe part of me thought it was more manly, I'm not sure...as the years progressed into highschool and all, I just got a lot worse.
15. Only when changing, etc.
16. Not too much in highschool, but in college a buddy of mine always work out together and in the locker room we've had a few good laughs over whose underwear's in worse shape by the end of the day. Im usually a little worse, but we're both usually still a little wet from a recent pee..
17. As for piss stains being the norm, it was more something I noticed than heard people talk about. Most guys I knew just accepted it, though it wasn't nearly as apparent for guys who wore boxers. Some athletic guys had pretty stained underwear though. To my knowledge, no one did the stains on purpose, though a couple guys were really bad with both wet piss stains and thick skidmarks.
18. I definitely notice the wetness a bit more in cold weather, though its not too bad. I do remember noticing it when I took my first SAT. I almost didn't make it after the first section of the test, and squirted a bit into my briefs before the break. By the time I peed and came back, there was a small quarter sized wet spot on my jeans, and the front of my underwear was completely wet. I remember fidgeting and being very distracted during the rest of the test.
19. I generally don't wear light shorts so I don't have to bother. As for swimming, I have both trunks and speedos, and am actually much more careless, simply cause it doesnt show or Im already wet. If Im in the water, I'll just pee there, and if Im out its just whatever. A couple times I've started peeing before Im properly out, and went back in the water to cover it up.
20. I would say generally the more athletic guys have the worse stains. I guess some of it may be a get-up-and-go attitude, not sure.. Most stains I've seen are an inch or 2, though there are always a few guys that are better or worse (me being in the latter category). One of my friends is just about as bad as me, and on several occasions I've actually noticed a small wet spot on his jeans after a recent pee.
21. That sounds about right for me, though I cant speak for everyone. While some of it may be its a "man" thing, a lot of it is probably that combined with guys just wanting to get in and get out.
22. I have noticed that on a few occasions both by my friends and by me. I remember once me and a friend were peeing on the way to a friend's party. We were in a rush, and I told him to hurry up, causing him to zip up while some pee with still spurting out.

And Katsat, what are your habits like?

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Ooh, that's what you meant. No can do,I'm on a sugar high, can't waste it.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Only if you promise to type with both hands behind your back so I can keep up.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

All you people come to the chatroom! i have Pixy Stix!
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Wow...I still agree to disagree with the bit about libraries, BM.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Thanks, BM...I love you, man.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Yes, ooky.
Ooky is a normal reaction from a normal bloke when put in position where he's not very comfortable.
Its the reason I avoid public libraries (nerdophobia) and public toilets (poofophobia).
No, hang on, "phobia" means an irrational fear- these are genuine concerns.
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

hinky? have a case of the willies?
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Ooky?
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

uh, this phrase: "-description of dribbler boys: look, style, personality, size of stains, type of underwear,"
Is a very good beginning of why I am all ooky.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

I really don't see why Bilge. You need to get a grip there my friend.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

You think? Well,while you're wallowing in indecisiveness,I'm gonna hide out in the forums.
_______
The Original Grasshopper

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I think this guy is creeping me out.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Katsat's picture

Katsat

Hi Dan the Dribbler! Thank you for your answer! I can see that you are a typical example of the mystery I would like to understand so I hope you will return sometimes to this forum and answer some more questions. Otherwise anybody else who usually/sometimes doesn't shake it can answer them.
14. You said you were more careful when you were a little kid. Did you shake then or just wait the end of the stream? When did you change your habits and why? Because there are boys who wipe, but give it up when they start the school, where nobody else does it. Others give up shaking off the last drops because of the same reason, while some kids are the same dribblers in the kindergarten too. Do you remember how did this happen with you? Could you give a short description about those boys who put it away really fast and maybe made you change your habits?
15. Do you remember any cases when you wore only stained undies for anybody to see? Have you ever had embarrassing situations?
16. Did anybody ever comment your dirty underpants for example in the locker room, or roommates etc.? If yes, what did they say?
17. You said piss stains were the norm. Did you just see their undies, or heard them talking about this? Do you think anybody made stains on purpose, not only after pissing?
18. Do you remember any times, when stains became uncomfortable because of cold weather, or you couldn't concentrate for something fe. in school because of them? Or did it come to your mind in any other situations when you were doing something and it disturbed you?
19. Are there any special cases when you are more careful - for example when it's very cold or you wear light shorts? Because I know a boy who even makes big yellow stains on his white football shorts in summer. Or what about being on the beach? Are you more careful then or do you walk around with the same spots on your speedos?
20. How serious stains have you seen on others and how could you describe these boys - are there types (personality, style or body) who are dirtier and hastier? Did you have classmates or friends etc. who had really big stains like you, or what sizes were the average?
21. What do you think about Littlepunk's opinion who wrote above that putting it away too soon and making a mess inside is an instinctive thing for males? Or do you think any other causes of this?
22. Did you ever recognize that you made somebody finish it faster when you go to the urinal together? Do you think you made anybody really change his habits and become quicker?

So shortly I'm interested in:
-peer pressure for being careless and fast,
-uncomfortable feeling because of the chilled wetness in any situations and getting used to it,
-description of changing habits: what did you do before and after, becoming less or more careful etc.,
-description of dribbler boys: look, style, personality, size of stains, type of underwear,
-what do you think about the basic causes of leaving stains in the undershorts?

El Scumbag's picture
k 500+ points

I really enjoy sitting down to pee. An old man once told me that if you want a REALLY good piss, sit down and do it, leaning slightly forward, becayse it drains beautifully and effortlessly. He was absolutely right. When you are absolutely bursting for a piss, sitting down and letting go is wonderfully satisfying.

The added advantage is that those last few drops don't leak out into one's underwear either. Personally, I HATE that. Standing at a urinal, a fellow can piss happily, think he's fully drained the pisspipe, shake the drops off, put Percy back in his holster, zip up, turn away from the urinal and suddenly - "phhhshhh!" the last cockful of pee in the tubes leaks into the boxers. If a chap is wearing light grey trousers, it leaves a tell-tale "wet penny in the pocket" and it's really rather unseemly for a gentleman, don't you know.

Another reason for sitting down to pee is that in negates the need for aim. I'm not at my best in the mornings, and if I've got a congealed joy plug in by tubes from rogering the other half the night before, one can point the old fellow in the right direction, but the subsequent golden jet can go anywhere it damn well feels like.

Yet another reason for sitting down is the absence of stray drips around the outside of the toilet bowl. The stream of urine may be whoosing into the bowl nicely, but stray drips tend to leak and run backwards just underneath my japs-eye , falling on the floor, usually without my knowledge. This, I find, is a problem that uncircumcised fellows like myself are prone to. But don't get me on that subject though because I'm anti-circumcision and once I've started I'll never fucking shut up.

Dan the Dribbler's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Exslob, I feel like my current habits are those of when you were younger.. I usually just put it back when the jet goes weak, as I tend to wanna get on with my day. None of my friends shake either, almost all put it back dripping. In high school, pee stains were just the norm, though I have to admit I've gotten worse in college... maybe something about being away from home. Boxers aren't really good for me-I wear boxerbriefs or briefs, as they're better at soaking up the leftover piss. I usually only have a spurt or two left, though every now and then I just cut it off with the zipper and end up soaking the whole front of my underwear. Usually it doesnt show through on my dark jeans though, so I don't mind. The whole front of my underwear is constantly yellowed, and I always have a 4-5 inch wet patch on one side from a recent pee. A few weeks ago however I really misjudged myself and cut it off thinking it was ending, only to find out I had QUITE a bit more left. I ended up pissing the whole front of my pants right in front of the urinal. That was bad. I have tried to be a little better since then.

Oh, and as for Katsat,

1F, 2D, 3C, 4E, 5C, 6E, 7A 7B 7D, 8E, 9C 9D, 10C 10F, 11B, 12B

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

:D Kewlness. I'm bored...gwar again.
_______
Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

you're right, LC, it wasn't, but its true. Been sober 7 and a half years now, and am nicely tanned, rather sickly yellow. Liver has healed nicely, and one day, PD and the Chief will be able to feast on it with some fava beans and nice chianti, with no risk of rotten meat.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

:( Bilge...not cool...
_______
Peace, Love, Twilight.

The Original Grasshopper

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'd have beaten you both in the yellowing...drinking myself into jaundice...
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Hell, I would have just bought yellow underwear.

Blind Mullet's picture
k 500+ points

Dark 85 writes "During the sexual awakening outer gender marks are highly important, and they aren't separable enough from the essential marks. For many kids the yellow stains belong to the willy like the red fingernails belong to girls."
Wow. If only someone had told me that during my pubescent years, I would have regularly peed my pants, just to show the girls what an up-and-coming sexual dynamo I was. Does it logically follow that the bigger the piss stain, the more virile the young man? If thats the case, I should have emptied my bladder completely into my duds, filling my shoes in the process!

The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Anomalious Howard's picture

If you shake it more than twice,
Your briefs won't be wet and nice!

___________
I also can draw this line what members have!
I'm a Genius.

ExSlob's picture

I know a guy who wipes his penis and he said some years ago that this'd been always a real secret for him how can most boys get used to the wet stain sticking to their dicks. I admitted to him that this is really strange and I could only answered to him that I'd usually had that chilled feeling as far as I can remember and it's normal for men. He compared his French and American college experiences and said that French boys are much cleaner in skid marks on the back, but frequently have bigger pee stains on the front, so he described me as a typical French. He's true because having a brown stain on the back is a real shame here, so I wondered after talking with him: why are we so careless about the other half of our underpants?
Katsat answers:
1A, 2C, 3C, 4C, 5C, 6E, 7A, 7B, 8D, 10A, 10D, 10G, 11B, 12D.

Scorpio's picture

My father suggested my younger brother be cleaner earlier but nothing changed. Dad said when he was young, shaking was the norm, while nowadays there are more and more extremists. In his workplace urinals are blocked up by the wipers' TP so gumboots are needed to reach them, while his son (my brother) evaporates his wet pissy boxers in front of the computer after arriving from school. Skaters piss in the bushes on the street etc. My brother said to me later that Dad has a vision about the yellow apocalypse drawing near.

Suzie Q's picture

ExSlob, your girlfriend is a genious! Now I'll go and buy a sewing kit, I'll wait my 24 y/o boyfriend with thread and needle in my hands because I haven't seen him in stainless undies yet. Problem solved.

ExSlob's picture

ExSlob
I don't know too much about developmental psychology but Dark85's expert's opinion and other guys' comments show a really crazy side of teen lad groups which I know too well. Now I shake 3 times, but when I was a 14-18 yrs old French punk kid I usually put it away just when the jet subsided so I felt my penis spurting a lot into my briefs or boxers after every piss. My friends did the same. When we visited English festivals and took quick circle pees nobody shook it or wait for the last spurt to come, we zipped back together and if somebody hadn't finished pissing yet he had to cut his piss stream with the jeans' zipper. Our undies were soaked during every concerts, in the school locker room, and sometimes (not frequently) it showed on our jeans too. Now I think we were funny little lads feeling very manly and scandalous because our dicks and upper left thighs spent years under large smelly masculine stains. In winter sometimes I felt like I would have put ice cream between my legs but I rather bore it than shaking the drops. I have to laugh when our high school doctor comes to my mind, she thought we had got a secret type of minor incontinence when she examined us half naked. We wore white boxers and the left legs were amber yellow with palm sized wet spots around the flies from our latest urinal piss in a break. She became desperate and interrogated us about drugs (we never used drugs).
Later I turned back to shaking, although the wet fabric on my willy doesn't bother me, all lads accept it because we have it 5 times a day or more. My problem was the smell, and I think my girlfriend would sew over my penis foreskin with her nice new sewing kit if she could see me in such dirty boxers only once. Otherwise I still say bad boys never wipe after pissing, that's for girls only so I wouldn't do it even if there was TP at the urinals. So I've become an average shaker and when I remember my teen age I have a bad feeling that our underpants were the only places where we realized a perfect anarchy.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

To the AC who posted on 12.11.2006.
You say your father taught you, at the tender age of seven, to shake your weenie with two hands after
peeing! Are you, by any chance,
John Holmes?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Amateur Observer Aaron's picture

I was late in getting to my grade school son's parent-teacher conference last week, so I didn't bother to stop and shit at home. After the meeting, I sought out the closest bathroom to the classroom. There were two stalls, both doorless, and a kid sitting in crapping in each. The boy in the first stall caught my attention because it looked like he was finishing because you could hear the plopping stop and he reached over, took some toilet paper and started wiping. I guess I got my hopes up too soon.

Then this boy, who was probably 7 or 8, pointed his penis down and started what was a fairly lengthy pee. What was noteworthy, also, is that he had both hands in and involved in the "aim". And then to further complicate the pain in my anus, he uses both hands to rub his penis on the front of the bowl about a half dozen times in order to dry it. Finally, he looked up at me and said something like "I'm done" and left rather hastily--without flushing, of course.

The Factory's picture

I met the after-pissing problem once on a web forum where a black teenager wrote exactly my opinion about this. So I just copy his comment here:

"I don't get how guys can take a piss so damn fast. From the point when the pissing sound into the toilet stops, about 2 second later they're out the door. WTF. I am a guy and my friends always finish before me and call me slow. But what about the trickle?! Even once you've finished pissing there's always still a some urine inside your d1ck and it slowly comes out in little drops. I take my time to 'jerk' the piss out of my c0ck tube, which takes anywhere between 10-30 seconds to get all of the piss out and wipe my bell end and underbelly of my knob head where piss has usually run down a bit. So do most of these guys (which means virtually all guys) have soggy wet penises which leak into their boxer shorts once they hurridely walk out of the toilet? Must stink and feel very uncomfortable, which I have found on the rare occasions where I've been really pressed for time and done what other guys do."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Poopreport - the Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor. There will always be one-liners and jokes around here as well as serious contribution. It's a good balance.

Bilgepump is a punctuphobe?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I keep approving your comments, hoping someone can make sense of your long-winded blathering...but from this point on, I'll let someone else put them up.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Dark85's picture

Punctuphobe, you remind me for the Chevy Chase movie Cops and Robbersons, when by a thermocamera the neighbour's burning cigarette was showed where he moved in the room, but Mr. Robberson had a doubt what if it was something else. So if you used to keep a small, round shaped burning and smoking stick in your mouth which is not a cigarette, then I'll admit my deductions are craps. For example if you don't stare your neighbour at the urinal closely, but can't help just hear the sound of piss stream, would you think he play the sound from mp3 to mislead you about his pissing style, while he does something else?
Otherwise my comments just have a different style but it doesn't mean I take this forum more seriously than you. But yeah you're right in one thing I have a dozen strange hobbies and they all drive people crazy.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'm a punctuphobe.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Bilgepump! Your post contained 57% consonants, 40% vowels, and 3% punctuation. So... What do you have against punctuation??? You grammar basher!!!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Don't take it personally, you aren't that goddamn special, I'd hit anyone staring at me while I pissed, gay or straight, so lighten up. As far as taking these poll figures seriously...come on, surely you aren't using that for REAL data? And your hobby...well...good luck with that.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Dark85's picture

Bilgepump, I still didn't expect that you would be the first person who offer a gay bashing to me in my life. Very nice. THE NUMBERS ARE ON THE TOP OF THIS PAGE where you are now, you only can't see them if you haven't voted the poll yet (please do it and see the results! 1051 men answered yet). Actually this discussion is about them, and not about writing silly jokes for each other. I just compared the statistics here with the memories which everybody has. You don't need to directly watch a schoolmate or a guy at a public urinal more than 2 seconds to know what does he do at the end, and I can tell you that my classmates always watched me much more when we took a piss than I watched them, mainly because they were so curious about the only maybe-gay boy's habits they knew.
They discussed their pissing methods with me like they would thought I knew more about penises than them. A shaker proudly said he shakes well, not as slob as his quick zipper mates with pee spurts in their briefs etc. Teenboys can be really funny. The urinal wasn't enough for them, they climbed up the partition of stalls and stood on the neigbour stalls to watch if I poop or piss in there so I pooped with 4 faces above me because they couldn't believe I also peed standing. I can't say I would like to punch them in their face, because they always were and always will be in numerical superiority - 94% straight to 3% gay, 2% lesbian and 1% bi&tra. These are the biological conditions of the human race.
I have never lurked around urinals, I just spent 25 years in educational institutions and you know, gays are also used to piss. I am sure if you would have spent 3X1 minutes among partly naked girls since Reagan's years till nowadays on every schoolday plus two breaks in the girls locker 2X3 times a week, you would've had some observations about them even if you weren't fixing them constantly.
Staying with percentages, about 75% of my comment was based on about 10 shorter forums which discussed the same topic from different countries of the world, both gay and common forums, I just summarized them here, on the largest central one. Or did you think I traveled around the world for this? Finally the end of the comment was a parody of developmental psychology which used to be homophobic sometimes so fooling it is something like a hobby for me.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

I'd love to know where this guy gets his figures from....and how the hell he didn't get the shit kicked out of himself trying to obtain those figures. I wanna punch him in the face just thinking he may have been watching me piss.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

You know way too much about how guys shake their dingies.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The expert's opinion - by Dark85's picture

Hi Miguel, I also think that wiping is a bit over-represented here, but if I only look at the relations of the three urinal-type options: shake 27%, trash-squeeze 12% and nothing 31% (together 70%), I can tell they really fit my observations during 3 decades. At the urinal a bit more than the half of lads take care of the drops (27+12=39%, a bit more than 31), and shaking is at least twice as common than squeezing (27 to 12 percents) - it seems to be exact for me according to my memories (I am in the 12% as a quick squeezer/trasher/milker).
I can even take them apart: about every third shakers do it for a long time, so about 9% do even more than 10 shakes, while the others usually keep the 3 shakes rule (for me it's the 2 milks rule). The undie stainer 31% has two main groups: the bigger half of them (around 17%) wait for some drops dripping down without shaking before tucking away, so sometimes they're more careful than some dudes who shake too soon. For the fastest 14% pissing is a speed race so these boys usually wear soaked underpants from the last spurts. Of course these are only my estimates based on memories.
So what about the too many wipers? Maybe more men use the stall for pee like we would think, Miguel. Another solution is we both have occurances mainly of windy younger dudes' habits, especially in schools. And in schools or anywhere else when there are young guys of the same age together, a boy never wipes his penis if he don't want to be an extreme odd. Never. I can tell you it's the same in the whole world except for the muslim countries where wiping or even using water is a (frequently ignored) rule. So don't ever think they're cleaner, even one shake can be queer (you know it's pursued there) so if there is no TP or water, boys finish fastest right there.
In every other countries shakes are permitted (in continental Europe even without count, in the Anglo-American countries 2-3 shakes), but shaking can be uncool in many lad groups anywhere. It's typical in the Far East, especially in Indochina (based on older web forums on this) where shaking is less accepted and dudes are less embarrassed of wearing yellowed undies than usual, some even use them as a symbol of masculinity wearing the dirtiest pair and dribble the most on purpose for locker showing on the days when they have PE.
In Latin America guys become careless mainly because of the tropical weather which can cause so much sweating that they have spots everywhere with or without that one. I know that many lads wear two underpants in these countries to at least minimize the sweat stain on the jeans butt etc., so shaking the drops is not a strategical problem if you have 2X2 sweaty layers under your pants.
In contrast to Latin men, Russian and other Slavic boys don't use the two underpants version, although they would need it more because of hard winters. In Eastern Europe group pressure is a typical risk of health, cigarettes and alcohol cause higher male mortality than female. Many guys wear a summer-type pair of undies in the coldest weather - for example one layered boxers - , as a part of the stupid "I'm not cold because I'm tough" story. If you add the tendency of spurting the end of piss in them when boys take a circle piss - well, some blokes must be careful not to break down their magnetic needles before they defrost at home. Boys don't change their peeing style by the seasons - some of them are always careful, while others are always fast.
I experienced that the pee stain is a gender symbol for kids and adolescents when the personality needs more confirmation than later. Although it's just a myth that girls are always clean - they dribble more from biological causes - the stereotype hints they're dry because they usually wipe while boys don't. I experienced that most shakers want only minimize the stain's size, but not avoid the stain itself. During the sexual awakening outer gender marks are highly important, and they aren't separable enough from the essential marks. For many kids the yellow stains belong to the willy like the red fingernails belong to girls. (Fetishes also based on gender marks as we know). The man's sexual role is the letting out, while the woman's is the reception. Boys' stains symbolizes the ability of letting out, while girls' ones disturbes this system of signs because letting out is not their role. The missing of an outer mark can also be a disturbing crossgender thing for teens, and because the difference between gays and transsexuals is still not known enough, they can say wiping is pansy although it's not true.
So we can't judge the wipers percentage only based on our school memories.

Miguel's picture

I still can't believe that 23 percents wipe after pissing. I always thought boys never wipe their dicks and I don't know anybody who would ever miss TP at the urinal. If there are some guys who wipe I don't think they're more than some percents. This forum made me observe my classmates a bit when they're half naked in the locker and I admit it's gross but all of them have stains on their underpants, yellow, damp or both. If I saw one pair of clean boxers, next day that boy had the biggest dampness. I also asked my older brother about his mates and he said that he couldn't shake when they take a piss together because it's embarrassing.

Anonymous Coward's picture

I run my weinie through the wringer of an old time washing machine. "Look Ma, no pee! No wrinkless either! No grandkids either..."

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

Urine smells. Maybe most men don't like the idea of their underpants smelling or being stained by human waste by the end of the day.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Miguel's picture

I'm surprised how many of you guys wrote what Urine Heep above that you can't stand the piss stain in the underpants. I never thought earlier that it could be uncomfortable for males. Maybe it depends on our surroundings - as far as I know Latin boys don't shake. I don't watch just hear the sound that my mates zip back in the second when they finish like me. I think if somebody accept this during his childhood he won't have any problems with it later. That bit leakage don't hurt you, why is it bad?

Urine Heep's picture

I know an emo guy who just tucks his dick away when he's still pissing. It's strange for me because I've never seen anybody else doing this. He wears black pants and boxers which hide stains but I'm sure he has them. The wetness bugs me if I forget to shake, it's cool he doesn't care of it at all.

Littlepunk's picture

1F, 2C, 3C, 4D, 5C, 6E, 7B, 8C, 9D, 10E, 11B, 12C.

Bogdan's picture

For Katsat:
1E, 2C, 3C, 4C, 5C, 6E, 7A and 7F, 8B, 9D, 10B, 10E and 10H: once I heard some boys calculating how many hours they save per year by putting it back hastily, they fooled a classmate who liked maths (and was more careful at the urinal).
11D - I never, but my brother once lend me only black boxers, he said I would destroy his tigthy whities.
12A - I was the worst around 14 yrs old when I always zipped back without shaking.

And don't forget:
You will surely do the shake and dance
If you pee on an electrified fence!

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

If you want to do a new idea, How about "dick diapers." They could be available in 3 sizes. Small, medium, and Chief Thunderbutt. Colors... Could go with different skin tones, or camo and glow in the dark. Instead of all that shaking and wiping, men would be wrapping the package on the counter. For wife's and girlfriends everywhere, every night would be like Christmas.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

PD.......If worse comes to worse and your mutilated body is cremated I have a cousin who works in the Moon Pie factory. He can have your ashes mixed in with the filling.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

shadow_'s picture

I said I think that is the best way, I didn't say I or someone should always fallow it.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Eureka Shadow. Toilet paper dispensers next to the urinals. Why didn't I think of that.

shadow_'s picture

I think the best way to get rid of the last bit of pee is to squeeze and then wipe till there's nothing left.Just like healthy_1 does.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Bought some RC in Shop Rite just the other day.
I have to admit, other than Coca Cola from Mexico (real cane sugar) the RC is my favorite.
Moon pies are available for me at Walmart.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

RC Cola and moon pie. There is a trip down memory lane. Do they still even make RC?

prarie doggin's picture
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Sorry Bilge, no Trevor suit. I will be going incognito. Baggy polyester gym sweats, sleeveless t-shirt, and gold chains.
Chief, if I don't make it, I want to be cremated with the remaining moonpies. Sorta like a giant s'more.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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PD.......Sob......sniff.....the moonpie thing has made you a Tennessee folk hero,,,,,thanks buddy!

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Wear the Trevor suit...it will help cushion the severe beating you're gonna end up getting.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Well guys, you've all been good to me so I'll take one for the team and try to answer Katsat's survey. I'll hang out in one of the Turnpike restrooms and watch everyone pee and shake. I'll interview them about their peeing histories, check their underwear, measure stains, and make suggestions about their peeing habits. I'll hand out Moon Pies to all who participate. Should be a short night.

Katsat's picture

Dear ChiefThunderbutt and anybody else who can't/don't want to answer 5., 9. and 11. questions - just leave them out and write only about your own habits! Thanks.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

Sorry guys, but I measure two inches..

(from the floor)

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Katsat.........Many of the questions you pose ask me about the post urination habits of my pals. I'm afraid that I avoid, with a great deal of dedication, even glancing at their weenies or the pummeling they give them upon completion of their urinary task. . I just can't imagine saying, "just a moment, let me check that thing before you put it up."

Squat........I might add that I do not wear Bermuda shorts.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Katsat's picture

Hi guys I recommend two polls exactly on this topic on www.misterpoll.com so please answer these 12 questions either here or there! Here you can use the numbers and letters to be shorter, for example 1A., 2B., 3C. etc. and write some comments on it if you would like to.

Poll name: Guy pissing habits (part 1 and 2)

1. How do you dry your penis after pissing?
1A. I shake a bit
1B. I shake till I'm sure it's OK
1C. I wipe it with TP
1D. None, I just put it back when I finish
1E. Sometimes I shake, sometimes I just put it away and go
1F. I don't dry it, I put it back really fast, when it's still dripping
1G. Other, please write it here:

2. Do you feel wetness in your underpants after peeing?
2A. No
2B. Sometimes a little
2C. Usually
2D. Always

3. Do you hate the wetness, like it, or don't care?
3A. I hate it and try to avoid the wet stain
3B. I don't like it but I got used to it
3C. I don't care if it's wet or not
3D. I like it and save some drops in my underpants on purpose

4. Do you usually see piss stains on your underpants when you change it etc?
4A. No
4B. Only small spot(s) where "he" rests
4C. Bigger dried yellow stain(s) than my penis head
4D. Bigger wet (and yellow) stain(s) than my penis head
4E. Long wet/yellow stains all over the front

5. What about the other guys you know?
5A. They shake it
5B. Most of them shake, but I know some men who just put it back
5C. They usually just put it back wet, only some of them shake
5D. They shake, and some of them wipe it too
5E. Other, please write it here:

6. What was the worst condition of underpants you have ever seen wearing by a guy/yourself? (I don't mean incontinence, only cases of carelessness).
6A. Only small yellow stains
6B. Bigger dried yellow stains than a penis head
6C. Bigger wet (and yellow) stains than a penis head
6D. About the half of the front was covered with piss stains
6E. Almost the whole front was wet and/or yellow

7. If you sometimes/usually don't shake after pissing, why? (Please choose more than one answer, if you want!)
7A. Because I'm in a hurry.
7B. Because my mates also don't do it.
7C. Because I don't want they say I'm playing with it.
7D. Because piss stains are manly.
7E. Because I like the chilled stain cooling down my dick.
7F. Because I have a wet spot when I shake too, so it's needless to shake.
7G. Other, please write it here:

8. Do you wear clean or dirty underpants right now?
8A. They're clean.
8B. They have small dried piss stains.
8C. They have bigger dried piss stain(s) than my penis head.
8D. They have a small wet stain because I peed not long ago.
8E. They have bigger wet stain(s) than my penis head because I peed not long ago.
8F. I don't wear underpants at the moment.

9. Have you ever seen guys pissing without shaking their penises when they finish?
9A. I have seen somebody/some guys who just put it back when they finish.
9B. I have seen somebody/some guys who put it away before finish dripping.
9C. I have seen somebody/some guys who put it back really fast, maybe when still pissing.
9D. I know somebody/some guys who never shake(s) after pissing.
9E. I have never seen this.

10. Have you ever experienced or heard about a peer pressure in public/school urinals to finish pissing fast? (You can choose more answers).
10A. Yes, they said that wiping is childish.
10B. Yes, they said that wiping is pansy/only girls wipe.
10C. Yes, they limited the number of shakes to less than 4-5 otherwise it's a wank.
10D. Yes, they said that shaking is unnecessary, because it's useless against wet spots.
10E. Yes, they said that a real man don't care about the wet stains, just get used to them.
10F. Yes, they laughed at somebody who wipes.
10G. Yes, they laughed at somebody who shakes.
10H. Yes, in other way (please write here):
10I. No, I haven't experienced/heard anything like this.

11. Have you ever suggested anybody to change his pissing habits?
11A. Yes, I said to him that he should be more clean and more careful about the stains.
11B. Yes, I said to him that he should be less careful and should be faster.
11C. Yes, I said both versions in different cases.
11D. No, I never did.

12. Have your habits changed in time?
If you're between 10-25 yrs old:
12A. Yes, I was less careful when I was a little kid.
12B. Yes, I was more careful when I was a little kid.
12C. No.
If you're older than 25:
12D. Yes, I was less careful when I was between 10-25 yrs old.
12E. Yes, I was more careful when I was between 10-25 yrs old.
12F. No.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

Chief! We might be brothers. I have a tattoo. It is on my upper calf. It is of a rooster, with a rope around it's neck. That's correct! I have a cock that hangs below my knee.