The most embarrassing bodily function accident to have in public is

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m 1+ points - Newb
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Pooping on yourself (solids). It reeks to high hell.
11% (307 votes)
Pooping on yourself (diarrhea). It spreads so fast.
65% (1758 votes)
Peeing on yourself. It sucks to lose control.
16% (436 votes)
Vomiting. Nobody likes a puker.
7% (191 votes)
Total votes: 2692

136 Comments on "The most embarrassing bodily function accident to have in public is"

prarie doggin's picture
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I'm only guessing but that would probably rank up there with getting your period. Am I close?

Running faster than OJ after the killer.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i just had a huge diorrea explishin wen i was peeing i talk mor later

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Dear AC....I just had a huge coffee explishin all over my keyboard when I saw your spelling.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i was walking into a stor and i had a masive diorrea inssident i cant belleave a body could make that much

prarie doggin's picture
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Chief, you're surrounded by the enemy. Throw out a few lines of bad grammar and spelling to distract them and I will come in and rescue you buddy. Keep your head down.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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PD...dangle a participle to him, he'll grab it and we'll pull him out of that morass.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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We may need some extra help. He's a big boy. How much weight can those participles hold? Really? Good.
Ok, Chief hold on, we got you by the suspenders.
Put down the damn pork rinds, we're trying to save your ass here.
Ok, he's out.
Job well done Bilge.

I need some morass

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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That was beautiful, boys, so I greated all of you.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Where the hell are my pork rinds and hot sauce???


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

darcie's picture
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I would have to say pee. I have only had one accident in my entire life and it still gives me chills it was so embarrasing.
When i was 16 my science class got to take a trip to the city to the museum of science in boston. It is about a 2 hour drive to the city but instead of going directly there we stopped for lunch. I was a fairly new student and didnt know many people and i also was very picky so all i got was french fries and filled up on pepsi. I used thje bathroom before we left but i guess that the drinks hadnt worked through me yet.
Our teacher had planned for us to take the subway in instead of drive because of parking and city driving. By the time we got to the subway station i really was starting to need to pee. One of the girls said she needed to pee jokingly and i chimed in and mentioned i also had to go but i think my need was a little more serious, but not wanting to make a scene i laughed it off. I thought there would be a bathroom on the platform infact i had convinced myself. But after 20 minutes of organizing buying subway tickets etc i really had to use the bathroom. I walked down the platform looking for the bathroom i knew was there but to my utter surprise there wasnt. Now i started to worry. I really had to pee, i thought i might be able to hold it but every minute it was getting worse. I wlaked back to the group and mentioned to one of the chaperones that I was really starting to need a bathroom. "Why didnt you go at the resturaunt" I did i said. she made a face like she was annoyed and said well the train ride is only about 20 minutes and then her attention was pulled away to something else. Now i was really starting to worry and thought began running through my head, should i run off and find somewhere to squat, where could i go and also getting angry that there were no bathrooms at the train. About 5 min later the train still hadnt come and i was beginning to almost hurt. I asked her one more time in desperation if we could run to a convenience store quickl;y and catch up with the class later anything. and of course the train rounded the corner. :she said we couldnt and i would have to wait like 20 minutes and we would be there" Bitch I was obviously ready to pee my pants. We got on the train and i was seriously wondering how i was going to make it.the doors closed and we began to move. I had to go so bad that every stop we made was like a century passing. I finally felt a weird numb feeling from tensing my legs together. I was in tears and i asked if we could get off i was going to have an accident. finally she looked serious and whispered to the other mother we had to get off. But instead of just us the whole 12 kids got off. Of course whenwe got off we were on some random street in boston. aimlessly looking for a store or resturant but all there were were office buildings. We were waiting for a light to cross the street and i felt a wave of almost faintness come over me and i felt my bladder pulse a few times and a little pee started coming out. I held on so tight but it was no use i couldnt even stop it. I could feel spurt after spurtcoming out. the world almost seemed to slow down as i realized i was wetting my pants. not only did i just wet them a little i completely soaked them i honestly couldnt stop. I was crying my face was so red you could have fried and egg on it. I honestly couldnt even move. the crouds on the street staring at me i was on display. Everyone els in the class was sort of in shock, the bitch mother that if she had listened to me none of this would have happened put her arm around me and walked me away from the group. she had a jacket and tied it around my waist but it obviously didnt hide the fact i had just totally peed my pants.
I couldnt stop crying now, i just kept my head down as we walked back to the subway. I thought she would take me back now but she told me we had to go to a store and get a pair of pants underwear and socks. I couldnt f'n beleive it. So i wlaked into this store getting stares with her picked out a pair of underwear a pair of jeans and socks and she asked the sales clerk if i could change in the bathroom. Worst day of my life. I wanted to hit this lady. I changed and tossed mywet clothes in the trash. worst experience ever

lauren54's picture
l 100+ points
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I'd have to say the liquid shits is the wurst, followed closely by the incomplete miscarriage I had while at one of these blind facilities. I went to this rehab center for the blind in Washington state. I'd been to several other hell holes like this one but what happened to me here was well very embarrassing. Lets just put it this way shal we! blood copious ammounts of it everywhere. Down my legs into my shorts into my shoes, it was horrible. On top of that the woman who ran the hell hole wouldn't let me go home.
_______
Everything comes down to poo.

Everything comes down to poo.

Anonymous Pants Wetter's picture
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Peeing embarrassing? I LOVE peeing in my pants!!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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lauren54.......I would think that solid shit would be more like wurst but I could be wrong.

APW.....We would all love to pee in your pants.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Bulbous Object's picture
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Solid poop.

Why?

Unless you have incontinence issues, it's something people expect a person to control. It's something that can be hidden if you run like hell before you're found out. You look more like a baby if you don't have incontinence issues, but still accidentally crap your pants.

deejayabb's picture
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I must say that to have diarrhea all over ya self is the worst feeling because you know everyone around you knows the odor of it and there is just no way out of it.... My story is really gross and embarrassing because it happened at work!!!!! I had croup, which is a seal like cough, I was trying to catch my breath so I went towards the door to catch some fresh air, gagged, threw up and had diarrhea on myself at the same time to say the least I was mortified!!

Embarrassed Miss's picture
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Having a violent diarrhea accident in my panties without question. No hiding what you have done and sometimes it happens completely without warning. It has happened to me quite a few times both when I was in school and later as an adult. That horrible sudden cramp and rush of warm mush followed by that awful smell and the terrible realisation that you have just messed your knickers again. On several occasions I have thrown up too and on many of them I have been left crying with shame whilst crueler people have laughed and pointed at me.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Embarrassed Miss ... Thank you for a well written comment that required no editing. I was getting ready to change the s in realisation to a z to conform with American spelling norms when my attention was caught by the word "knickers" which, along with your e-mail address, gave you away as being from the UK. I often wonder how the rift in spelling came about.

In any event I feel your pain and hope you have very few instances of humiliation because of these occurrences. Has your physician checked you out for IBS? Good luck in the future.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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2 nights ago I had the most embarrassing thing ever happen to me and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I was at a friend of a friend's party where I didn't really know anyone and was trying to make a good impression. I'm pretty sure it was something I ate at the party which caused my problem. I had been at the party for a few hours and was thinking about making a play at the female host who was a bit of a hottie so I sat down on her couch which from memory I think was white and watched her dance for a bit. Whilst I was sitting down watching her dance I felt sudden overwhelming pains in my lower stomach and bowel and then a few minutes later I realised that my pants felt wet. I had had a few drinks by this stage so I wasn't completely aware of everything going on so I went to the bathroom and checked my pants and it was then when I was overcome by extreme fear and embarrassment. I had been hit with sudden onset diarrhea and it had penetrated through to the outside of my jeans. As soon as I realized I left the party. Once I left I was hit with a second wave of fear after deducing that there was no way that I HADN'T stained her couch. I didn't sleep for 2 days worrying about this and now I have the dilemma of whether I should follow up with a phone call to ask the girl out for a drink, as she may have deduced it was me who stained her couch and I may be confronted with a very embarrassing accusation, but if I have gotten away with it and don't call her, it would be a wasted opportunity.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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AC ... I checked this out with a young girl I know and she said nothing turned her on more than the guy who shit on her sofa calling for a date.

Good luck buddy.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

craptrina's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I would have to say the most embarrassing is diarrhea, followed by urine. At least with the solid turd it doesn't soak through your dungarees and slither down your legs into your shoes.

Travis's picture
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I picked liquipoo. I've had it happen to me before in public and it's the most embarrassing thing in the world. Back when I went to school I had to ride the bus from the farm I lived on. I woke up late and had to rush to the bus before it left, despite really having to go to the bathroom. My bus ride always took about half an hour to get to school, and after 10 minutes it was already getting to be too much. By the time we reached town, I couldn't fight it anymore and had to let some out. But once you start it's hard to stop, and so I ended up letting out practically everything out. And the worst thing was that my spot in the bus was right in the middle so the smell spread fast. I looked around to see if anyone had noticed the smell yet, and it looked like the coast was clear. When I finally reached my school I was almost positive people smelled it, because their faces looked disgusted. I waited for everyone to pass me before I got up and went inside. And as luck had it my friends showed up at the same time as me. One of them was like, "holy crap, something smells like shit in here". I nodded and quickly made my way to the bathroom. It took me a good 10 or so minutes to clean up the mess I made, and then I put my underwear in my backpack and made my way to class. Thankfully I was wearing dark jeans so it didn't show up on them.

diaper lover's picture
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as a person who wears diapers. i think that solid poops in public r the worst because there is vvery few excuses you can use because usually you can hold it in for awhile. diarrhea is bad too but has many excuses as well as peeing and vomiting. that is my oppinion tho

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points
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I had a friend vomit into a trashcan at the subway station after a night of drinking. He just smiled after, said he felt better, and hopped onto the subway car. A few horrified people stared while I laughed my ass off, but I think him having diarrhea would've been much worse.

diaper lover's picture
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i think solid poop would be the most embarrassing because you have very few excuses

prarie doggin's picture
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I agree Dr Scully. Diarrhea would have been worse. It's much harder getting your ass up onto a subway trashcan. Don't ask me how I know.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
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Easy answer, the Hershey Squirts. People may initially feel bad for you but once the stink hits them, they will hate you.

So Close Yet So Far Away's picture
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The runs for sure. I didn't need to use the restroom all day, despite hanging out with a girlfriend and pigging out: lunch) Ramen, snack) pineapples with chili powder, dinner) All You Can Eat Korean BBQ. I was about 30 minutes away from my house after dropping her off, when I felt that telltale rumble that meant impending doom. I figure, I'll try to make a break for it. One more right into my apartment complex and a park later, I didn't even make it out of my car. I could see the stairs leading to my apartment from where I was parked. How could relief be so needed yet so despised at the same time?

Conner's picture
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Defo Diarea Had bad diarea in my white pe shorts at sports day, year 10, ready to do the 100mts,just gushed all down my pale legs and filled my socks and shoes. was so embaressed just walked into changing rooms and put my school uniform over all the mess and walked home, bad school day that was, ohh well it happens

prarie doggin's picture
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Chief, can you take this one? I've got a massive headache. Thanks buddy.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
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Glad to be of service PD, just a minute while I determine what language Conner is speaking.

Τι στο διάολο προσπαθείς να πεις Conner ;


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Dr Scully's picture
l 100+ points
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Chief! When did you learn to speak Greek? You continue to amaze me..

Anonymous Cow's picture
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A friend and I were dining at the much esteemed McDonald's. I had a Quarter Pounder Meal. Unfortunately, I decided to take my first dosage of Metformin along with that meal. One of the side effects? Diarrhea.

My friend insisted that I walked down with her to the bus stop, eight blocks away. On our way there, I felt my stomach rumble. My friend asked what that noise was. I told her I didn't hear any noise...

So we were waiting at the bus stop, when I felt some stabbing pains in my stomach. The bus happened to be TEN minutes late. I kept pacing back and forth, taking deep breaths. Finally, the bus showed up.

I ran home as fast as I could. I have asthma and was not in the best shape. I thought I was going to make it, until I reached my block. My body couldn't take it any more. I felt my expensive black underwear fill up with something warm as I sped towards the door.

My bemused cats watched me as I hurled towards the bathroom. I sat my ass down on that toilet and let it all out. It was one of the best feelings ever... I guess. I threw out those undies in the trash immediately, triple-bagging them. I washed all my clothes and took a thirty-minute shower.

Needless to say, I haven't been back at McDonald's since then.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Metformin is for type 2 diabetes. So the fact you have not been back to McDonalds might save your life. Might I suggest you take your medication again next time you are at KFC, Taco Bell, Krispy Kream, Etc.

Anonymous's picture
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suffering from IBS: once my bf and i were lying in his bed and i started to have really BAD GAS. i couldn't control it! thank god he was asleep. then after all that i had really bad cramps and some more BAD GAS. but i made it to the loo just in time. diarrhea was awful. my bf was still sound asleep (deep sleeper) and so i cleaned up and got back into bed. later on (like 1am) we both woke up and he decided that it was time for some "fun". well i couldn't turn that down, even though i was still pretty gassy. so we're having a good time and i start farting again. (he doesn't care cuz it didn't smell - awesome guy!) so we're reaching the climax and the cramps come again! "OHHHH NOOOO!" was all i could say. "do you have to go?" he asked. i nodded and flew for the loo. after i took some meds for the diarrhea we went back to bed and he still wanted to get it on again. so we did. then without warning i had explosive diarrhea all over us!! it was the worst night ever!

Anonymous's picture
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Diahorrea all the way.

I have on, off bouts of it every few weeks and have had for a while, luckily I've always made it to a toilet though.
However, I was the park a few weeks ago, my friends and I were having a couple of drinks to pass the night away and every public toilet in the area was locked, so the girls had a spot in the bushes, as disgusting as it is, people need to pee. Anyway, I went to the toilet and whilst weeing I realised that I needed to shit and it was just gonna come out whether I tried to stop it or not, so I crapped in the bushes, had to use my gloves to wipe and throw them in the bushes in front. But as I had gone where the girls were using as a toilet, I had to try and cover my messy shit that had run halfway up the rock behind me. I felt like a cat as I tried to kick dirt over it. Although no one saw it, I quickly left and went home before any of the girls came back complaining of the smell and that they'd stood in shit...

Anonymous's picture
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I never peed, pooped or farted in public but once. In high school my stomach started gurgling and I started salivating. I just made it to the girls room where I threw my entire breakfast up, most of it went in the toilet but some sausage and egg chunks went on the floor. For the next two days I hurled continuously.