Which food/drink is the most poop-inducing

// 83 Comments
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83 Comments on "Which food/drink is the most poop-inducing"

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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10 votes and not one comment?
I almost voted for mexican food, but when I saw prunes... well they might be the old fashioned laxative, but they work everytime.

AssBlaster2000's picture
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Hooray! A comment! I hate being the first one to comment on my own poll.

I had to go for coffee. I don't drink it much, but when I do it gets my bowels going within 15 minutes, and then usually I poop all day.

Cracktacular's picture
l 100+ points
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I don't really know if Mexican food is the most poop inducing but it certainly is the most crisis inducing.

Crack kills

Jobber's picture
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Coffee doesn't do this to me, but I dinnk Instant Coffee such as Nescafe, Maxwell House, Kenco, not that ground, expresso or cappacino shit.

I don't drink Beer, only lite Lagers such as Bud, Millar, Koors etc and only a bottle or two of that. As for prunes and other fruit, forget it! and I detest Mexican and other such foods which are so hot as to be a torture to eat and sure to upset the guts. Fast Food? The reason this induces loose stools or diarrhea in many people is that the whole ethos of the Fast Food joint is to get you in, eat, and out as fast as they can. The harsh lighting, the uncomfortable seating, even the type of "musak" played is to get you to eat as quickly as you can and free the table for another customer. "Speed Must Lead" is their motto. If you bolt your food this can cause the gastro-colic reflex to kick in heavily and the contents of the bowel are rushed through in a mushy and watery state as they haven't been long enough in the colon to let the fluid be re-absorbed, and diarrhea results. If you eat the same food at a more leisurely pace this does not happen. Another factor is that the Fries are often cooked in an Olestra based oil rather than natural fats and this substance is well known to block intestinal absorbtion and thus cause diarrhea. So take my advice , don't have the fries!

Gaseous G's picture
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Cracktacular, good term: Crisis inducing.

Poop inducing is one thing, but what sends you into crisis and count down to disaster is what keeps me coming back to PoopReport. What are the foods you would avoid before going on a long car ride with people you don't know very well?

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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AB2K, why doesn't your poll include an option to vote for "all of the above"? As an IBS sufferer, EVERYTHING gives me the shits!

I voted for coffee, though, on the theory that it has the greatest inverse ratio between nourishment and poop.

Also, good thing your poll represents each of the four major food groups: sugar, salt, fat, and alcohol.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Prunes do work. I don't often eat them, but when I have, they have produced the fabled result.

At summer camp, we were often served them for breakfast. I remember one of my cabin mates sitting on one of the open stalls in the latrine one morning joking about this very subject. I was brushing my teeth across the room, and he decided to tease me about what he was up to, saying: "Here it comes, prunes and all! Better get it while it's still warm!"

He was actually a nice guy and pretty funny most of the time. He just had a wicked sense of humor regarding pooping.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points
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Coffee, nectar of the shit Gods. I drink way too much of it but love that first cup in the morning and the resulting evacuation minutes later.

Pantsdown Pete's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I agree that prunes are good, but figs are even better.
And for me, onions usually produce a good result.

Pantsdown Pete

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Yeah, PP, but what kind of result do they produce for the poor souls who must share the same planet with you?

log_blogger's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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This was a very difficult poll to answer. I think it may stem from the fact that, like The Dumpster, everything makes me clutch my gut and run to the the nearest can like a sissy.

Fast Food makes for some big, sloppy, tear-inducing cable.

Mexican food almost always causes burning-hot-lava-sphincter.

Coffee wins for the most predictable and the quickest key to unlock my anal Schlage.

But fruit makes by far the most acrid, paint-peeling, match-book-consuming miasma of all of the choices.

I guess I love them all.

www.mydailypoop.com

www.mydailypoop.com

AssBlaster2000's picture
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I think I have to clarify something. I voted for coffee because it makes me produce a log. However, tonight I engaged in the usual ritual of alcohol and then pre-processed Mexican food. Mmm, mmm, good. Normally this has no effect on me, but tonight, after stinking out my husband and my friend "Fartypants" with a horrible fart, after which Fartypants passed out on the couch (I hope I didn't kill him) I went in the bathroom and diarrhea'd like crazy. Alcohol has only as of late begun doing that to me. I must get starting to get old or something.

Jobber's picture
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Luckily the type of person I would be sharing a car journey with would have no problems stopping were I to need to use the toilet. By and large we Brits don't seem to be so uptight about mentioning such matters to others and would not risk an accident in our underwear out of shyness whether this was asking to stop at a toilet during a car journey or to use the toilet at a friend or colleague's house for a poo as easily as for a pee.

I would not eat anything I knew to have a laxative effect when going on a journey, but I don't eat these foods such as ultra hot curries, chillie, tex mex anyway, nor do I ever eat prunes, figs or most fruit or veg, or drink red wine or English "Real Ale" beer. If there is some activity where I feel I may not be able to freely go to a toilet when I need I have even taken Imodium to constipate me as I know that when the event is over I will do a "Whopper" later when the need arises.

This has reminded me of an incident which happened in a friend of mine's family when I was a kid of about 12. He had told me that whenever they went on holiday their mother, a bossy snobbish women who I didn't like, used to dose them up with laxatives the night before to clear them out before they got on the coach so they wouldn't need to go during the journey, coaches in those days didn't have toilets onboard as they now do. I'm glad to say that my mother never gave my sister or me laxatives nor did she use them herself, our bowels were left to follow their natural processes.

However, David's mother DID believe in laxatives and the night before they went off on holiday not only gave him and his sister a dose of laxative but took some herself, his Dad refused to take this and was in a postion to do so but the kids had to do as they were told. Next day he and his sister did have diarrhea when they went to the toilet when they got up in the morning but after they had been cleared out that was it for them and they had no further occurances. Their Mother however had a very different experience, she had taken a stronger dose than them and sure enough had diarrhea before they left the house and he told me she was in the toilet for 20 minutes spluttering and squittering before she came out. They caught a service bus to the main Coach Station but when they got there she clutched her tummy and said that she urgently needed to go to the Toilet again, however she didn't make it and before she got to the Women's Toilets she was taken short and had a bad diarrhea accident in her panties, soiling them and her skirt very badly. She had to go into the women's toilets to a cubicle to get cleaned up and changed , her daughter getting her clean panties, stockings and skirt out of the case (valise) she had packed for the journey. This delay caused them to miss the coach they had booked on and they had to pay again and a lot more for a train to get them to the holiday resort. David told me all about this when they came back from holiday. His Father had been hopping mad with David's Mother over this fiasco. The good thing that came out of it was that his Mother no longer used laxatives after her bad accident nor did she give them to him or his sister again, so for them there was a happy ending to this nasty event.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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Where the HELL is sushi? A night of 151/coke and sushi....who needs Drano. I have changed the color of porcelain from that combo....

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

poopster's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Somebody forgot to put oatmeal on the list...
Mushy stuff in, mushy stuff out.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Poopster, you are wrong. Oatmeal is a great stabilizer of the bowels. One of the healthiest foods known to the colon. Your mushy stuff comes from other sources.

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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BUnga, maybe its not teh coffe that makes you evacuate in the morning. COuld it be that your need to shit arises overnight? Try taking a dump before you go to bed and see if the coffee still make you blow ass in the morning.

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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Oh, Poopster, you're right about the oatmeal.

For those tough clogs, the oatmeal/prunes combo works even better.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Taco Bell does it for me. Real Mexican food is some thing that I have no problem with. The Taco Bell experience is usually compouned by alcohol, so I would have to say it is a combination.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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A bit heavy into the communion wine, eh, Rev?

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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LogBlogger: OMG! "Anal Schlage" gave me tears. Is that yours, or did you blog-lift that term?

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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NOt communion wine. BEER!!!!

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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WE all know you switched the drinks, Reverend.

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Black eyed pees do all sorts of nasty things to my bowels. Horrid, stinky, loud gas and explosive poops. That is the food I'd choose!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

gaseous clay's picture
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it's like this, i can drink water and have to blast some feces...that being said, i don't do coffee or beer, but i have blown paste in shady bathroom stalls after afew adult beverages...everytime i eat i gotta dump...mostly when i take my lady out to dinner, i'm not gonna make it home...now she doesn't like to go out to dinner anymore because i leave her alone at the table and return with a look of triumph that lets every one know that i just fouled up the bathroom...
long live the undisputed king of poop.."gaseuos
clay"...(great at poop, lousy at spelling)...but backed into a corner, i'd go with mcdonalds' breakfast

IBS_Forever's picture
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Well as someone who suffers a lot with the shytes, the one that does it for me is real ale. The more I drink the more I splatter the pan in the morning. But as I like the beer, its something I'll just have to put up with.

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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FOr me its definantly the Mexican. Taco Bell is no prob but when I go to Anita's Mexican Grill, Im shittting as soon as I get home.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
l 100+ points
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Fast food is the worst. It's usually greasy, often cooked under circumspect conditions and--well--I just don't eat that crap anymore.

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

bsjoelbs's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I was snacking on prunes this morning, probably had 3 servings. I took 7 dumps today, and still going.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Good thing it's Sunday. I hope you're done before you have to leave the house, tomorrow!

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points
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Taco Hell usually makes me poop more than anything else, and it's always the runs...

_______
I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

[Insert witty banter here]

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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I have never seen a good word on this site for Taco Bell. I wonder how they stay in business?

And, do the people who work there eat the food?

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points
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Dumpster that is a GOOD question? So does anyone here (including guests--you can post too) work for Taco Hell?

I'm pretty sure they don't want to eat something they deal with all day. I worked in a dollar store and would go elsewhere to buy the same stuff. Weird.

_______
I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

[Insert witty banter here]

Chico's picture
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You need to add another option to the poll: Dairy products. I'm lactose intolerant. Really, REALLY lactose intolerant. A spoonful of ice cream would put me down for a week. A piece of pizza would kill me. Straight from solid to a liquid in no time flat. And don't even get me started on the gas...

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points
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So I've heard of lactose intolerance, but not to that degree. The one guy I actually know will eat anyway and just have explosive gas later. I feel bad for you, Chico!

_______
I'm the only geek I know who has to flush twice. Or who clicks on links in people's sigs.

[Insert witty banter here]

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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actually, dumpy, i've defended Taco Bell on here numerous times. just not lately, cuz there's just no talking sense into some people. and i'm tired of trying.

also, as to your question about how they stay in business, a lot of people mention getting bad poops after eating it, but don't necessarily say anything about not enjoying the food. sometimes good food is worth the pain we may suffer later on. i'm pretty sure there's a discussion on that very subject somewhere on here.

for the record, i eat at Taco Bell often, and have never experienced anything other than the slightly burning poop that accompanies most spicy foods.

vive la Taco Bell!
_______
i love poop.

i love poop.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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*whispers to WP* Pance, I love Taco Bell, too; we can be poopitically incorrect together. Mmmmn... Chalupa.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points
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Sorry Miss Pance and Miss GGG, but Taco Bell always becomes Taco Hell. What you see in "This Old Toilet" is usually the case, but sometimes there is paper there.

_______
Um, yeah. My sig. So, about that... I'm not doing one this week.

[Insert witty banter here]

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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well, that may be the case for you, dear Dufya. but there are plenty of us who experience a feeling more comparable to heaven, than what you so blasphemously refer to as "hell."

triple-G, the nacho cheeze chicken chalupa with extra sour cream is probably my most favoritest foods in existence. t'would be a sad life, indeed, for miss pance if such a thing were never discovered. truly a culinary delight, the likes of which i've never seen, before or since.

ok, i'm getting kinda weird now.
_______
i love poop.

i love poop.

Anonymous Coward 69's picture
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i just ate taco bell and shitted my life out.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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That's not possible, else you wouldn't have been able to type.

Viva Chihuahua!

sharty mcfly's picture
l 100+ points
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nachos bel grande! and enchiritos. nothing wrong with the ding dong, sometimes you pay, and sometimes you don't. cigarettes keep me regular, along with their best pal coffee.

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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I'd have to say all the above will induce a shit storm catastrophe. Especially if you eat and drink them all in one night.

One other perpetrator of the runs for me is grape koolaid! Don't know why. We just don't get along!


_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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Prunes / Prune juice. Or worse still, a combo of everything above.
_______
It's not nice to fool mother nature.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

wiarumas's picture
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coffee gives me gas in the morning... 5 minutes after my first sip i feel my bowels start moving and the farts commence.

Anny's picture
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Usually anything from Taco Hell. Even eating the mildest tacos will get my guts churning like crazy and get the gas, the runs, etc. Plus sometimes pizza will do it. Drinks that cause the runs? Sometimes coffee.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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If i eat anythin mexican, i have about 2 hrs before my boxers will recieve the meal!

Toilet Expert's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Prunes seem to have little to no effect on my digestion. Don't know why... I had to vote for fast food. A couple of hours after eating, I get a huge load of shit that smells really bad.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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Coffee always gets things moving for me, but food wise, onions and beans. Either one of those will have me shitting like a demon the next day.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I have heard a theory on Taco Bell's food. A friend told me everthing comes dehydrated to the restaurant. There are boxes of beans, sauces, and salsas that say ADD WATER in the directions to prepare. This is not only because what we'll loosely call the "food" keeps longer, but also because it would be lighter to ship across the country. If all those beans and sauces were hydrated, they would weigh more.

I don't know if it's true, but more than one person has said this to be true. So, maybe the reason Taco Bell gives you the runs is because it's got a less than normal water/to/solid constitution. Or maybe there are preservatives in the dry mixes. These could cause one to be sick, especially if one of the preservatives is salt. Salt would extract water from your body.

I picked coffee, by the way. It's a rarity that drinking a cup doesn't doo the trick.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com