Padded toilet seats, yea or nay

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40 Comments on "Padded toilet seats, yea or nay"

shitwit's picture
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I HATE padded seats! Especically the vinyl padded ones that make your skin sweat and give you the impression you've pissed on the seat while also shitting your pants. I'm all for comfort, most of the time, but the throne needs to have that utilitarian feature of a hard, cold seat.


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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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I must say that I happen to agree with shitwit here. Give me a hard toilet seat that is TIGHT on the toilet. I tell you, there is NOTHING worse than a loose toilet seat that slides from side to side no matter how many times you tighten those hand tighten screws underneath.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

GottaGoGirl's picture
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UGH! We had a squishy toilet seat when I was a kid; I hated that thing! Besides being sweaty, it made this *whoooshphfffft* noise every time you sat down! Then when you stood up, it would re-fluff itself, making a high-pitched whining sound like a balloon shrieking.

Horrible.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I'm with GGG. The noise from these things is awful. Plus when you get a crap on the seat, it leaves a permanent stain that even bleach won't take off.

Nope, I'll take either a shellaced hardwood or a painted compressed wood seat over the padded variety.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

healthy 1's picture
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There's nothing that I hate more than a padded toilet seat. grrrrrr.

Luckily, I have rarely had the inconvenience of using them. The last time I did, my ass got all sweaty, and stuck to the seat.

Now, whenever I have to use a toilet with a padded seat, I simply put my feet up on the seat, and squat.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Queen of Sharts's picture
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I must say this has always been an issue with me. Why the hell would someone want this? It's sweat inducing, and when I use it, it feels like I'm crapping my pants. It ain't natural. Plus, like a cold pillow, a cold seat can be quite refreshing. And I agree about the loose seat-- screw that thing down, people! We need ballast!


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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Interesting. I hate the padded toilet seat as well. I'm not opposed to a little more comfort while sitting on the throne, but those padded seats aren't cutting it.

Maybe it's time for a new attempt at the padded seat. Perhaps one that is not so squishy and doesn't suffer from the deflate/inflate annoyances. Gel seats comes to mind. What would the appropriate cover for the gel be though? I don't think I'd like the fabric typically used on cycling saddles as I couldn't help but fear that it could hold on to bacteria.

So a new padded seat that uses gel, isn't as squishy, undecided coating material.

Would it be nice if the seat had a heating option? I live in Hawaii so cold toilet seats aren't so big an issue here.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I just threw my padded toilet seat away. It made a rather nice resounding THUD! in the garbage bin at the Fish Lake Valley dump. Just a little remodeling in the new house and this fucking thing was the first to go.

I hated that damn toilet seat. When entering the bathroom and looking upon it the seat looked like it could accommodate even the widest asses in the world. When you sat on it, however, the opening of the seat closed down so small that even an anorexic American super model would miss the bowl. It was so fucking stupid.

There was just no damn way to use this thing without getting piss on the front and crap on the back. I actually had to change positions depending on what function I was using just so I didn't mess up the seat. And it STILL happened. When the house got hot in late spring the bathroom smelled like piss because the seat, toilet, and floor (which is carpeted, ew!) had dribbles on them because of this stupid seat. We were cleaning the toilet on a daily basis.

Worse still was the fact that the plastic cover on the padding cracked, exposing the foam inside the seat to the air. If some unlucky soul happened to sit on it AFTER some one else peed and missed (which happened a lot) said second sitee got a nice yellow squirt in the rear from the crack in the seat.

We chucked it an got a nice wooden seat. Alas, the toilet needs to be replaced and the seat slips and rocks on the bowl. Now whenever you sit on it, the seat slips to the side and pinches your ass. I guess we can never win in toilet hell.

_______
If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Big Wiper's picture
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Padded seat in padded cell--
Whoops! I've gone to pooping Hell!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Queen of Sharts's picture
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Also, what's up with those seats that have the coins embedded in them? That's fricking weird.


_______
Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Hey, TBW! You could turn that into one of those six-word-stories!

And Queen, they have those resin seats with all kinds of stuff embedded in 'em! I almost got one with a bunch of tiny duckies for the kids' bathroom, but it freaked out my son.

stool pincher's picture
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The partical board seats sometimes break in half when my fat ass sits on them and what if your pecker was under the front right then? How about a nice plastic toilet seat that has a crack in it and pinches your ass when you sit on it?

The Big Wiper's picture
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Yeah, GGG. Why couldn't I have thought of that one during the contest we had?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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stool pincher (not verified) -- 01.22.2007
The partical board seats sometimes break in half...

What are you talking about?!? Who the hell has a toilet seat made out of particle board?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I think if you were to saw many toilet seats in half, you would find a particle board core surrounded by a fiberglass or other hard plastic shell.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Really? I never thought about it, before. I figured they were all resin or something.

Bigassman's picture
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You know i never liked thoes seats ever on time i was taking A crap and it just felt like i was craping my pants

_______
If you have to shit you shit. But if you are not close to a shiter shit by a tree but if there is not a tree go in a bag and if there is no bag shit your pants

Shit shit and shit

Fecal Follies's picture
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Hm, I think I voted incorrectly.

My mental image of a "padded seat" before reading the comments was a most bizarre one - large amounts of eggcrate foam swathed in velvet. So I voted under the "never tried one".

In the middle of reading the comments the light bulb went on! THOSE nasty things! Ugh! Butt-sweat factories ... my Mom had one for awhile. Finally the rest of us managed to convince her to get rid of it.


_______
And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

Terd Ferguson's picture
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Hate 'em. They are always, always, always cracked when I encounter them, and as mentioned above, make strange sighing noises before they proceed to pinch and scratch the backs of your thighs. You don't know what's inside that perverted split. It's just not natural.

The Big Wiper's picture
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Now I know it can't be good that there are toilet seats with cracks in them. It's quite enough that toilet seats always have cracks on them.

Ba-da-bing!!!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Anomalous Coward's picture
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They do make a satisfying pop followed by a sort of wheezing noise when you slip and land on one hard. DO NOT ask me how I know that.

Needsmorefiber's picture
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I like the squishy ones!!! they aren't so bad. No cloth just plastic over cotton!!! its the perfect crapping place im telling you!!!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Sitting on a padded seat is bad enough. But how about sitting on one when you come in from the swimming pool, and your suit is wet, and your cold wet buns come in contact with that awful ooshy gooshy seat.

Hanus Anus's picture
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My girlfriend (who just performed her Poop For Peace) absolutely hates padded seats. I can take 'em or leave em. If the seat is well designed, padding is not needed. Cloth covered? My god! Does such an idiotically unhygenic thing exist?
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Happy crapping! (_o_)

Happy crapping! (_o_)

loaf pincher's picture
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no i always seem to find one that has a small cut just big enough and in the right place to pinch my fat white ass

turdfan's picture
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I've never tried one, and I can't see any need for one unless it would be for one of the small (not elongated) toilets. The elongated ones support your butt and thighs very comfortably, but those small ones (from what I can remember) can be a pain in the ass (literally) Not only are they uncomfortable, but they are so small there's almost no way I can get my arm between my legs to wipe.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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The Spider Man padded toilet seat that I bought was pretty flimsy, but most of the higher end ones that I have tried, are rather nice. They are not as cold.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I agree with the seats you are reffering to, butt I have been using these for years and they are great. None of the problems listed above.

B-1Bomber's picture
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I like the padded seats. Hardware sores carry better built seats than you would purchase at Wal Mart,Kmart,Etc.

poop cheerleader's picture
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I have only used a padded seat while peeing, and I thought it was rather comfertable. Pooping I can see would be a much differint story since you are sitting a lot longer, and solid stuff is coming out in stead of liquid.

shitake boy's picture
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I kind of like them, but my wife absolutely hates them. She said that they are hard to keep clean. We had one in the master bath for a while, and we just couldn't keep it as clean as we wanted to. My wife ultimately demanded that I get rid of that seat, and buy a nice wooden seat, and did so. I now would prefer not to have a padded seat. I find that padded seats hinder my shitting activities, and things don't move as easily.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

MSG's picture
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In my experience the padded surface usually cracks sooner or later, exposing the innards of it and making it impossible to clean well, sometimes leading to pinching tender skin. Don't like it.

Padme Azz's picture
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WHOA smelly nelly! All this hatred towards the padded seat yet it is winning the poll. I HATE hard seats. My experience on the throne must be one of luxury. From charmin ultra tp to the best and highest quality padded toilet seat.

Sure, it takes me a while to do the job which usually causes me to break a sweat but that happens on the hardcore seats as well. As for the seat shifting position mid-poop - I honestly don't squirm all that much, I sit, $hit then tp it.

I am honestly shocked at all the anti-cushionism!!!

Does anyone here know who makes the highest quality padded toilet seat and/or where I can find them? Thanks!!

Postman's picture
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Sorry, Padme Azz, I've never been able to find a real high quality soft seat either. I always buy the 10 dollar Wal-Mart seats. They last for about a year or 1500 sits, whichever comes first.

ChiliKahKah's picture
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A seat to sit on while taking a dump is best if it is easy to clean and cool to the touch. It should be a comfort to users just prior to spashdown.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Bemis makes a quality padded seat.

Softy Rules!'s picture
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I'm a home handy man. When installing a new "throne" I always take a hard and a soft seat for the customer to try. 9 out of 10 choose the soft one AFTER trying it out. BTW--I only install the elongated anymore.

PoopsAlotinOK's picture
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So I have to go against the many posts... I enjoy my padded toilet seat. I have this little disease called Crohns which frankly, causes me to spend more time on my toilet than my couch. I understand everyone's issue with sweat. You just need to get you some Levsin (anti-pooping meds) which has the awesome side effect halting my ability to sweat. Problem solved! Now if I could only get a tv installed in the bathroom.

Anonymous's picture
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Very nice.

Anonymous's picture
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Do all women reach between their legs to wipe and guys come in from the back way? Just wondering...