What you do with your pants when you poop in a public bathroom (an airport, let's say)

// 35 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
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Drop them to my ankles. I need leg room.
28% (429 votes)
Below my knees but not around my ankles.
15% (235 votes)
To my knees. Far enough.
15% (234 votes)
Above the knees. I can't have people see my knees!
8% (123 votes)
Take off my pants. Ahh, the freedom!
10% (158 votes)
Poop in my pants. I'm three, or just really gross.
23% (344 votes)
Total votes: 1523

35 Comments on "What you do with your pants when you poop in a public bathroom (an airport, let's say)"

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points
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__Voted for "far enough" but only use a public bathroom for a BM in an extreme emergency. (can someone please pass me a sphincterine?) _____
"Frank, that is a VERY personal thing!" -Nurse Tomain

danishpooping's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I drop them as far as I can. I need to spread my legs in order to have a nice poop. I don't care if it's in public

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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I drop them to the knees - no more than that. I've had them fall down to my ankles only to soak up whatever filth was on the bathroom floor at the time. Nasty!

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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What kind of socially retarded misfit would wear pants in an airport, or any other public place, for that matter??

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Pantload's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Right on Bilge. "Pants? We don't need no stinking pants!" And that's what you'll have if you let them touch a public bathroom floor.


What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

pablow p.'s picture
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"Don't you hate pants"

ELISA's picture
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"TAKE OFF MY PANTS! THE GLORIOUS FREEDOM!" I honestly dont know why. Its pretty much been this way since I was little. And if I'm wearing socks I HAVE to take them off. I need my bottom half completely free. haha. i also like to hold a pillow on my lap while I pooop too.its so comforting hehe<3

poopitude!?!'s picture
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this website is the wave of the future!!! I've learned how to make a 2 foot long piece of crap, hold in the urge to shit in my pants, and feeling the gratitude when breaking a toilet bowl with your own bodily excreations!!!!

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points
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I always drop my pants to my ankles, but if the floor is wet (Like the bathrooms in Central Park) then I make sure to not let them go too far.


_______
Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Inconsistent Christine's picture
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I'm inconsistent and I'm not fully sure why that is.
First, when I was in grade school, I would pull my panties and jeans down all the way. I went just like I do at home, although occasionally I got the bottom of my jeans wet with water when the stool had clogged or overrun.
When I got to middle school age, I kept my panties and jeans at mid-leg level.
Once, I reached high school, mom had taught me to leave my jeans and panties higher, even to the point where by my senior year, I was sitting on them. That was because more girls were peeking in on me (I think it's because I was a minority in a largely WASP school.)
In college and when I got more confidence, I would just pull 'em down and pee or shit as fast as possible. I thought I had graduated as a Shameless Shitter by then, but just today my seven-year-old daughter selected a stall to use in a large bathroom at Houston's Hobby Airport. She was on the stool, shitting already, when she noticed the latch on her door was so badly bent that it wouldn't work. However, she and a group of friends earlier had helped each other out in learning to use the public toilets. Today that seemed okey with me and she was sitting on toilet paper just before 3:15p.m. and she couldn't get her urine flow started. She came in after a substantial flight delay, put toilet paper down to sit on, and was able to fully go.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I voted to take my pants completely off. When I was heavier the bathroom stalls were horribly narrow and I had a hard time getting my asscheeks apart. The result was usually a poo crayon that caused a million wiper from hell. Pants off meant better spreadage (yeah, I know that not a word), which meant no poo crayons.

Now I just do it habitually, even though my ass FINALLY fits on the public toilet seats!

I also take my shoes off, because a lot of women's room toilets are really low down to the ground and I have long legs. With my shoes on, I always feel like I'm giving birth to Gordon again. Head almost touching knees.

(I know. You all REALLY wanted to hear about the size of my ass!)

_______
Behold! My new farting super power! BRAPP!!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Above the knees just feels wrong- don't ask why, it just does. But if it goes down too far then you have whatever was on the floor with you for the rest of the day. Besides, then you'd have to lean over to pull the pants back up- what a waste of time and energy!

poopin 24/7's picture
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Down to the knees is good for me. It gives you space but down to the ankles-no way! Whatever is on the floor will be with you for the rest of the day. Besides- if the pants are down at the ankles you have to reach down and get them its not worth the time and effort to put them down that far and then pull them back up. Leaves more time to poop!

toki's picture
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the best way is to take pants all the way down to ankles, the above makes you comfortable especially that you need to release or give "dick" more freedom to practice his job

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points
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I'm with the posters that have to drop them down around their ankles. First of all, I haven't noticed my pants ever touching the floor, since they seem to rest on my feet real well. Secondly, I need to get my knees pretty wide apart so my cheeks can spread out sufficiently,although I'm not overweight. Furthermore, if my knees are not that far apart, there's no way I would have room to wipe. Even with them spread, I still always have to use my right index finger and middle finger to lift my sack up high enough to get wiping clearance. I wipe left handed obviously.

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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First, I'm with turdfan. When the pants are down around the ankles, they're usually not on the floor; they're around the ankles and/or resting on my feet.

Second, I suspect that you're probably collecting more germs from the chair at your dining room table that everybody (including you) has secretly farted on when they thought nobody was looking ...and never been cleaned. Think of all of the public places that you have sat and imagine that everybody who's sat there before you has farted (maybe even sharted a time or two). Then think about few times those same seats have been properly disinfected. Suddenly, the bathroom floor (unless there's obviously piss on it) is probably about as clean.

Third, your mother was still teaching you how to take a dump when you were in high school, Inconsistent Christine? That's amazing.
_______
Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Minority Chick's picture
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I completely empathize with what Inconsistent Christine is saying in her posting. As a high school senior, one of her concerns was that more girls were peeking in on her when she was on the stool at school. She feels it is because she is a minority in a largely WASP school. Also, her solution--a suggestion from her mother--to keep her panties and jeans a bit higher than the toilet seat is a sound one. It's one I'm going to try. I'm the only African American female in my high school. Yes, I get stares just like Christine said when I'm on the toilet two or three times a day at school. I also get those stares when I'm in the locker room showering after gym class and often, out of convenience, peeing in a nearby open stall. One of my friends, a very sensitive young woman, said some of the really sheltered suburban girls might be looking for my stereotypical "tail" and I'm not about the help them with my jeans and panties at floor level. Once, when I came out of a toilet stall at the end of 3rd hour, there were two girls waiting directly in front of my door. One remarked to her friend, "I think I'm going to use this one" and got into another line. Yes, Deja Poo, there is prejudice and not everyone is as "equal" as you would like to think in toilet and locker rooms in suburban communities.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I have to keep them far from the floor, so my utility belt does not accidentally discharge shark repellent or laughing gas.
_______
SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Maria Elena's picture
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Minority Chick writes:"...some of the really sheltered suburban girls might be looking for my stereotypical 'tail' and I'm not about to help them with my jeans and panties at floor level." I fully agree. In my four years as one of only two Hispanic students in my high school and after a year of college I can sure see the difference. Like both Inconsistent Christine and Minority Chick in my four years of high school I saw lots of eyeballs peeking in my stall and when I was in the PE locker room. At first, I thought it was just because I had moved in the first day of school because my dad took a managers job at a big meat-packing plant. After a few months, I did like Christine and kept my jeans and panties higher. And it doesn't help because I have a smaller bladder and need to pee three or four times during school each day. My mom suggested that I learn to hover, not just for privacy but also for sanitary issues, but I never saw that that wouldn't just make me stand out more because most of the girls sit down. By my senior year, I had friends, who like me were more mature, than some of the others in the class and they explained to me that some of the students "just have a natural curiosity of anyone/anything that is different" Like Minority Chick I also had girls who didn't want to use the stall right after me. It's a type of racisim, I believe. Once I went with friends to a large evangelical gathering at our city's auditorium and when I opened the stall door to exit, a mother was standing there with her hands on her daughter's shoulder. As I was working my way against the line I heard the woman say, "Make sure you put paper on the seat so you don't catch anything from these minorities." That hurt! And I have always put paper over the seat so they had nothing to worry about, but I guess I'm just not a confrontational person. My boyfriend, however, said I should have gotten into the woman's "face". This past year, away at college, I've found there is much more respect for diversity and less curiosity and suspicion of anyone different. Also, I've learned that one of the national school acceditation groups is now recommending that each student take a human relations course. Amen!

Tyrone's picture
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It depends on whether it's open stall or closed stall, whether I'm at the far end of the room with less traffic, or right in the middle near the sinks. If it's open stall, I keep them up at stool level. If it's closed stall I'm farther away from the people washing their hands, I'll drop them all the way. It makes it easier to spread my legs and enjoy the comforts of the shit, man! When I've got a line waiting, like in an airport, I'll keep my pants as high as necessary for the shit to clear without showing off my jewels. They're only for my girlfriend, man. Sometimes, in very crowded places, I'll put my overnight bag on my lap. Peak, but no prize! Finally, I feel for Maria and Minority Chick. What they are experiencing crosses genders. In the late 1980s when I was an athlete and we had to travel to other schools for competitions, being a minority and shitting in an open stall did attract attention at some of the schools.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Purely practical point - there is often 'wet' of some sort on the floor in public toilets. That's why I only lower trousers to the knees.

Excuse my English ignorance, but what is a WASP school!? What Tyrone, Maria and others are saying is very sad. Some of us like to think that this sort of ignorant and unacceptable racism is dead - obviously we are wrong.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Off topic. I want to thank Deja Poo and SamDamnit for cheering me up today. Depression is easily cured by one stop to PR.

_______
What if everyone farted at once?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Hamster--WASP refers to White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. In the U.S., schools in older neighborhoods have a more enthnically and religiously diverse student body, whereas the suburban schools are in more economically prosperous neighborhoods which tend to be much more segregated, or WASP. By choice, I go to a large city-wide high school that is as diverse as any in our state so there is not going to be the curiosity about the Maria Elenas, Tyrones and Minority Chicks that would otherwise stand out in the less-diverse suburban schools. Teachers and administrators take that type of harassment seriously if it happens in classroom or hallway, but the bathrooms are more difficult to police. I have a cousin who goes to a suburban school in another state, she's friends with a girl who moved in a few months ago from India and her friend has literally been asked what color her poop and pee is. If I was in a position like that, I don't think I'd want to use a bathroom at school, even if I kept my underwear up all the way.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Thank you AC!! It is ever the case that in the more ethnically diverse places there is more understanding of cultural difference. Bigotry often exists more where 'minority' is exactly that. Sadly I have some otherwise good friends in England whose attitude on this I find unacceptable - but it is the way they have been brought up.

Next In Line's picture
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I really feel for you, Maria Elena. What a horrible comment for a grown woman to make to her young daughter! I frequently will remind my 9-year-old to put paper over the seat EACH time she uses the stall. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHO COMES OUT! And AC is right. I don't think I'd want to use the toilets at school unless it was ABSOLUTELY necessary.

bknightshadow45's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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During my teenage years I used to pull my pants above the knee since I rarely poop in public and embarrassed getting caught with my pants down but now at school and any other public bathroom I just pull them down to my ankles since I feel very conferable and need leg room in bathroom stall and no longer embarrassed getting caught with my pants down while I am pooping._______
-Sam aka bknightshadow, a guy that loves to poop with my pants down around my ankles

-Sam aka bknightshadow, a guy that loves to poop with my pants down around my ankles

White Chick's picture
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When my parents divorced this past summer, I was transferred to an inner-city high school with a 70% minority population. Like Minority Chick, I get lots of peeks through the door cracks and some will even eye me when I'm at the basins. It hurt me momentarily back in September when a black girl (actually one of the student government leaders) was in line for my stall and when I walked out I heard her tell her friend, "I ain't puttin' my fat ass down on that one", and she walked over to wait for another toilet. I'm 15, and until this year, I use to drop my jeans and thong all the way to the floor, because that's what I'm use to a home, but since the move I've become more uncomfortable about the bathrooms at school and I now pull them down only enough so I don't dirty them. Some of the toilets are old (like a hundred years) and filthy and my mom has suggested that I squat to pee. Dream on!

Feto D Walcott's picture
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I am an ankle man.I have never worried much about if the floor is damp in front of the thunder mug because even if some got on my pants I doubt anyone would notice since I am quite odorous anyway.The only drawback to that was once I was in a stall in a bar and in my staggered and inebriated condition I stood up before I was done crapping and the trailer turds wound up in my pants.I had to remove them and shake them out.Thank goodness that only happened once.After that I stopped drinking and took up smoking cigars.Your just jealous.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I normally drop pants to ankles for the leg room. Last week I went to the men's room in mid-afternoon planning period and, as usual, dropped 'em down and had a nice poop. It happened that a student came in, sat in the neighboring stall, and plopped a good one as well. I got cone first, wiped, and left--only to notice that my underpants and pants were wet, obviously with urine that had been on the floor! I cleaned up as best I could with paper towels, but I was conscious of the smell the rest of the afternoon, and I even took some paper towels and put them on the car seat on the way home. Yuck! I've been using that restroom for a couple of years now, and that's the first time I have had that problem.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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MSG, to prevent your trousers from getting contaminated with pee, you have to gather up your pant legs and hold everything away from the toilet and floor. That is what I do. I don't let my clothes touch a toilet or floor in public restrooms.

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Hygienic Heidi's picture
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This is a trick my mom learned me 4 years ago before I started high school. I put a sheet of about 8-inches of toilet paper over the very front of the toilet seat. Then I pull my jeans/slacks down just enough to clear my butthole. Then I sit on the paper. Some of the other writers complain about what others see when they peek in, but they will see almost nothing in my stall because my clothing is being sat on above stool level. When my mom showed me how to do this, I thought it sucked because I'm only sitting on the very front inch or two of the seat, but now it makes sense to me. The first couple of times I tried it, my crap would fall onto the front of the bowl, so I found that sliding back a half inch to start works better. Now I feel better about using public toilets.

Bruised Knees Brenda's picture
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The idea behind Hygienic Heidi's "trick" is good; your jeans or shorts don't touch the bathroom floor, you expose a lot less of yourself to the peekers that don't believe in privacy, and less of your butt actually touches the public toilet seat. However, I'm of normal height (5' 8") and when I tried it earlier today at the airport both of my knees were crunched against the door. During the single, 5-minute period I was on the stool, three ladies shoved on the door hard enough to hit my knees. My guess is that Heidi must be a midget or have extremely short legs. Also, what do you do like today when there's only one sheet of toilet paper left on the roll. Do you protect your butt from the evil seat or do you protect your underwear from several layers of skidmarks? I hate having to make those decisions!

Long John's picture
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Ok, Heidi, I tried your "trick" yesterday at the plant I work at. I'm 37 and of average build. Our company use to have those paper gaskets until about 10 years ago when we were bought out by the multi-nationals. With more than 200 workers per shift and the fact that we have to log-out to leave the floor for the bathroom, too many guy won't wait for a urinal so they'll go into a stall and just let go. Most will not even pick up the seat first. Then when my shit time comes, not only do I wipe the seat off, but it seems my butt sticks to the seat when I go to get up and, because my feet are planted in dried urine, sometimes they stick to the floor a bit. So when I tried the Heidi technique, I was somewhat uncomfortable with my tailbone pretty much ready to fall off the front of the seat (and I frequently have to push my shit out--I see bigger problems there!) and with my johnson sagging over the very front of the toilet bowl.
While it might work for a petite woman or teenage girl, it doesn't for me and the bottom of my jeans will still reach the peed on floor unless I crunch them up at knee level.

jayhill's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I drop the trousers to my ankles but keep my underwear up around my knees---don't know why, I just always have

sitting bear's picture
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if the toilet was nasty like it always is i normaly just wear a diaper or sit over the toilet and poop myself.... it is easier and i dont care if it stinks that bad... i always have done that.