oxypowder

When it comes to paper ass gaskets...

Posted 08.20.2007 by poo_poo_poodio (121)





poo_poo_poodio (121) -- 08.20.2007

I think more people would use these gaskets with a better design. The lame “lever on a tissue box” dispenser that dispenses a gasket that is designed to dangle in the water and automatically flush down is a good idea that hasn't matured in it's design yet. I have never seen one of those dispensers actually work properly, In my experience you push the lever down and nothing happens, six more tries and still nothing. Than you dig your fingers into the slot and grab -- only to grab 20 or so covers. The covers themselves also need some work, they are hard to sit on without shifting or tearing and once they tear or move, your hiney is once again exposed to the public bacteria consortium we call the public toilet. I saw something at an airport one time, I believe I was in Hong Kong but it could have been Chicago, they had a device attached to the toilet seat that automatically dispensed a clean covering each time the electronic eye flushed the toilet. It was awesome, it completely wrapped the whole seat like a condom and went on automatically. Sort of like stringing a curtain rod but lightning fast. It reminded me of those paper covers doctors offices use on examining tables but 100 times more high tech. The seat however left much to be desired. It was rail thin (about 2” wide) and not at all comfortable to sit on. I guess the added benefit is a higher turnover rate during busy times. So, what is the best way to approach public pooping hygiene, use a barrier or disinfect? It's the same age old game with different players.

_______
"Can you spare a square?"

"No, I don't have a square to spare."

doniker (1491) -- 08.20.2007

I have never used one.

Sure, I don't want to sit on a public toilet after a stranger but the main things that I am afraid of coming in contact with on a public seat is basically in liquid form; piss, blood, sweat, pus, etc.

Placing as ass gasket on the seat over such things isn't going to make me feel "safe".

Unless the seat is spotless and appears to be freshly cleaned, I will just hover over the bowl.

shitwit (493) -- 08.21.2007

I also don't use them. I tried to use one once and it kept falling into the toilet as soon as that flap hit the water. I wasted about 5 of them before I just gave up and scrubbed the seat down with a wad of TP and went about my business. Ass gaskets are a waste of time, money, and paper.

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Mary Queen of Scats (387) -- 08.21.2007

I never use them. If there's liquid on the seat, I wipe it off.

I figure the only way for me to transmit something from the outside of my ass to inside me is if I'm scratching myself uninhibitidedly.

And on the off chance that my buttskin soaks up something and gets me sick, I think I'd have bigger problems overall at that point.

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Inspector Pu P.... (21) -- 08.22.2007


_I personally think paper ass gaskets are a joke! They have this "tongue" that is supposed to sit in the water to pull the gasket down with the flush, it never works. The gasket usually gets stuck on the seat or to the user's ass, in which case when you stand up, the "tongue"can come out of the bowl and lick your underwear. I love it when you go into a public bathroom and see a used ass gasket half in and half out of the toilet. Another thing I notice about them is that the tongue is held in place with tabs that you have to tear. You usually end up ripping the gasket completely in half, and then it falls in the bowl, then you start over. If you try sitting on the gasket without tearing it, sometimes it will work and sometimes you will poop all over the gasket and your ass. You may get lucky enough to have your load blast right through the gasket, but not likely. One thing I have noticed is that it can make a funny sound as the paper wavers in the wind if it didn't tear and the initial fart blast ripples across it. The only thing I see them as being good for is an emergency substitute for toilet paper, but this is not recommended if you have hemmorhoids!_____
"You have to probe a lot of turds before you find gold in one......and it turns out the gold is corn!!

Ava (not verified) -- 08.22.2007

I wonder if it's a generational thing. I'm 27 and have used one on only two or three occasions in my life. Once I was with my mother at the airport. I was behind her in the line for the stall. She went in first. She came out and greeted me with one in her hand. I was about 8 at the time and it seemed awkward, but I used it anyway. A couple years later I was visiting my grandma in Chicago. It's the largest city I had/have ever been in. She took me in and showed me how to use one. I don't know why, maybe it made me more conscious that I was peeing in a public restroom, but it was harder for me to completely empty my bladder. Come to think of it, there was a third time when I was about 12 and with my best friend and her parents at Six Flags. I had taken one large and messy crap, and then found there was no toilet paper in my stall. Missy's mom was just finishing up in the adjacent toilet when I asked her to hand me some toilet paper. When I opened my door to get it, she was surprised to see that I was sitting on what she called "that filthy bare seat." For the next couple of miles as we walked in the park, she kept bringing it up about not knowing what you're sitting in, who was the last person to use it, the fact that women who have been (and I have never fully understood what this means) "properly taught" will never sit directly on a public toilet seat. Then I would see Missy just roll her eyes. She and I were best friends for years and she would only use the seat cover when she was with her mother. She used to say that her mother would choose to have an accident in her pants from holding it if there wasn't an ass gasket for toilet paper to cover the seat with. Both of us knew what we had to do to please our parents, but outside of that we both got use to just sitting down and making the bathroom trip as comfortable as possible. I've been out of the house for ten years, but I always try to remember to use one when I'm out with my mother and need to use a public restroom. I just don't think my generation worries about sitting on a public toilet as much as the earlier generations. I've never heard of anyone catching a disease that way and besides, that's what the daily shower or bath is for. Right?

Twenty-Something Chick (not verified) -- 08.23.2007

Ava writes: "I just don't think my generation worries about sitting on a public toilet as much as earlier generations." I agree. We might, however, be more selective. Although I don't use an ass gasket, I feel I'm more scrutinizing of the stall I choose. At an Interstate rest stop last weekend and a bathroom with five stalls, four of which were available, I checked each out before making my decision. Urine on the seat is my biggest concern as well as a general unkempt nature. They are a total turnoff for me. My mother, on the other hand, says she has never sat directly on a public toilet seat. If there's no ass gasket, she'll spend whatever time is necessary carefully placing toilet paper over the seat and she will seat herself ever so carefully so she doesn't get off the paper. However, I read postings by some women who just walk into a stall, put themselves down, and later find they're sitting in something unexpected or there's no toilet paper left. Also, my best friend will sit longer at home so that she can crap before leaving the house and not have to take her chances in public restrooms. But she sits down the pee! It doesn't seem logical.

Bilgepump (1336) -- 08.24.2007

Don't use paper ones...mine are all entirely of albatross feathers.

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 08.24.2007

Ran out of pelicans, did you?

poo_poo_poodio (121) -- 08.27.2007

Come to think of it, that makes perfect sense, think about it, have you ever seen a shit covered albatross?

_______
"Can you spare a square?"

"No, I don't have a square to spare."

Poo de Grace (74) -- 08.27.2007

After sitting in someone else's gut chunks after a horrid bout of dirrhea in high school, I usually hover but if I have to sit, I clean the seat, then apply a thick sheet of toilet paper because the gaskets are too thin.

I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

turd turdgutson (7) -- 08.27.2007

I never use them. They're useless, especially when you've gotta drop a deuce and it hits that dumb ass piece that dangles down into the toilet.


_______
"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

Generation Gap Matt (not verified) -- 08.27.2007

I think Ava's right; the paper ass gaskets are largely used by the older generation. My son is 6 and recently we were at a KC Royals game. I went in, sat down and took a shit while Trevor peed in the stall next to mine. Of course, he got done sooner, knocked on my door and wanted to come in and tell me something. I unlatched the door for him and he told me that I should put paper on the seat just like grandpa does for him. I asked him about it and he insists that his grandpa (on my wife's side)insists on taking some funny looking toilet paper, unfolding it and putting it over the seat before Trevor sits down. He said grandpa also uses one himself when he sits down on the toilet and that I should too. I asked my wife about how she was raised and she said her mother wouldn't let her use a public stool unless she put an ass gasket down. However, once she left home and was on her own she got away from the habit and now finds it to be "extreme". Grandpa is good with Trevor so I don't want to make a big deal out of this. However, my wife and I both agree that the ass gasket requirement is a bit much for Trevor.

daphne (3202) -- 08.27.2007

As soon as he's old enough to be in the stall by himself, you could tell him he's allowed to tell grampa that he has your permission to do things his own way.

Then again, I remember being out with my gramma back in the day. People from that generation can be sticklers when it comes to germs, poopoo, and cooties.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Gasket-less Gayle (not verified) -- 08.27.2007

Matt's posting sure hit close to home for me. I was raised by a mother who would have had a cow if she had seen me sit on a public toilet. You just didn't do it and you most assuredly didn't question it unless you wanted conflict. When I progressed through the grades in school, I remember asking Mom why so many of my friends didn't cover the seats before sitting down. Her replies varied from "Her parents didn't teach her properly" and "She probably has toilet tissue under her and her legs just cover it up" to "She just forgot and that's why I'm reminding you..." and "She's setting herself up to catch an STD or another disease because she's so careless." It wasn't until I got into high school that I would regularly sit down on an uncovered seat. When no maladies overtook me and I took an Adult Living class where we learned the "facts", I started to realize that I had been duped. As for my two daughters, 6 & 8, my primary concern is that they remain comfortable using public bathrooms and that they wash their hands thoroughly after leaving a stall. I frankly see no use for the ass gaskets when they are made available. I think their days are numbered.

Mary Queen of Scats (387) -- 08.28.2007

He used up all the cats, GGG.

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.

Miss Simone Scat (570) -- 08.28.2007

No Mary!!!! * I am shocked he used the pussies*
Producing waste since 1967

Squirmy (not verified) -- 08.28.2007

When it comes to paper ass gaskets I use them to pee, but I've never learned to master them when pooping. When I was about 5 or 6 and we would be on our cross-country vacation in the car, Mom was at wits end when we would stop at a gas station, truck stop or Interstate rest stop because when I poop, I can't confine myself to just sitting--I have to move around on the seat in order to be productive. My stools are not hard and I have never really been constipated, but I continually reposition myself on the seat and spread my legs, especially when releasing a big stool. By the time I was 9 or 10 Mom just gave up and said I was too squirmy to use the toilet seat cover. Inevitably, I would just rip it and basically be sitting on much of the bare seat anyway. She suggested just lining the seat with toilet paper, but that didn't work much better. Now, 30 years later, the situation hasn't changed. Covering the seat works for peeing, but otherwise it's futile and, if anything, I just try and select the cleanest of the seats available to sit on.

Fart Poopie (1256) -- 09.03.2007

Poo_Poo_Poodio:

Ohare in Chicago has those toilet seat covers. It's funny you say it looked like a condom wrapped around the seat, because that's exactly what I thought when I first saw them.

It's a looooong tube, with lines that I imagine are there for the sensors to know when to stop.

It's annoying when they get stuck and don't roll out a new section for you to sit on.

Ants In Pants Priya (not verified) -- 09.03.2007

Although I'm a native of India and have been in the states for 15 years, most recently as a graduate student, I agree with both Squirmy and Gayle. Personally, I've tried but I am unable to stay on paper for both peeing and pooping. I do move around a lot and by repositioning myself on the seat, I feel, I can become more comfortable and this facilitates faster action. If my mom knew, she would kill me. Sorry mom!

poo_poo_poodio (121) -- 09.05.2007

Thanks Fart Poopie, that's exactly where it was. The thing about getting older is you tend to forget and uh ... um ... well, never mind.

_______
"Can you spare a square?"

"No, I don't have a square to spare."

The Thunderous ... (624) -- 09.05.2007

Please those ass gaskets make you slip and slide its like an adventure ride at Disney World. First I ass-sess the shituation. If that seat has been crapped on I move on to the next stall. In the UNLIKELY event there isnt a NEXT stall, I then seek out the bathroom attendant OR I get some cleaner out of their supply closet and I give the ol pot a once over with the spray concentrating mainly on the seat then wiping it dry with a paper towel or T.P. When I consider it sufficiently clean then and only then do I park my ass on it.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Bilgepump (1336) -- 09.05.2007

(heavy sigh) Evidently, some folks aren't paying attention....cats are for wiping, not lining the seat.:
Mary Queen of Scats (259) -- 08.28.2007

He used up all the cats, GGG.

_______
No no, honey. Kitties don't sit on the potty.
Moderation:
Miss Simone Scat (516) -- 08.28.2007

No Mary!!!! * I am shocked he used the pussies*
Producing waste since 1967

Try to remember that, ladies.

The Shit Volcano (3537) -- 10.09.2007

Hoverers don't need ass gaskets. When I am reasonably sure of the toilet, I'll just plop my ass down. However, in most public places I will prop the seat up with my foot and hover rather than sit on it.

_______
What if everyone farted at once?

MSG (363) -- 12.05.2007

I enjoyed the comments on this one. For my money, the ass gaskets are basically useless, though I have used them occasionally. Once I get it positioned on the seat, I can usually sit without dislodging it; then my first turd takes away the middle portion and I can plop as usual. The only saving grace of these things is that, if a neighbor lays one on the seat carefully and then sits, I can usually hear as his turd tears the ass gasket, and once in a great while I have heard the turd actually slide down the paper on its way to the water. I have also heard other persons wipe with the ass gasket (quite a distinctive sound), which strikes me as quite chancy, since it is so brittle I think the person's fingers would go through and touch his anus very easily.

Exploding (not verified) -- 12.05.2007

I am a 29 year old SWF. I find it amuzing to read the posts of persons like Squirmy: "I just try and select the cleanest of the seats to sit on." What?? Many of us don't have the luxury of going stall to stall and comparing and contrasting the conditions before we sit. I don't really have choices due to my busy schedule, the locations of my clients and my desire not to have an accident in my pants.

For example, yesterday morning I had to pick a client up at the airport. Her flight was late due to weather on the east coast and I had to crap bad. There were three dozen of us waiting for about 10 stalls so when my turn came I went in and just sat down and had my crap. I don't think I was seated for more than two minutes. An hour later, I had to pee. Still waiting for the flight, the bathroom wasn't as crowded then, but I just went into the first open stall, sat down and relieved myself. Even though, I probably had the time I had no inclination to check out my options. On the way to her hotel, we stopped at gas station when I again had to pee. One toilet. No choice. Just to be safe, she decided to go in after me and use it because the traffic is horrendous in our city. About 3 p.m. I picked my daughter up at elementary school. She was still finishing something in her classroom, and while I was waiting, I thought it would be a good time to pee, since we had some shopping to do. I went into the bathroom. Only one of the five stalls was vacant, so there was no choice. It was one of the strangest pees I've had in years. I had forgotten how low elementary school toilets are and how uncomfortable they can be for adults. Anyway, my point is that you just have to go in and make the best of it.

No gaskets were available to me. If they had been I still wouldn't have used them. There are few opportunities for me to compare toilets before making my selection. When you gotta go, I say go and cut the analysis. It has worked well for me for several years.

poopcrayon (69) -- 01.06.2008

i don't use ass gaskets and i unfortunately cannot hover. the toilet paper nests are the best. i am a "nester". and come to think of it, i don't think i've seen many ass gaskets in my travels recently. i remember seeing them more often when i was younger.


_______
all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

prarie doggin (1368) -- 01.06.2008

I travel a lot, and I have found it best to carry my own toilet seat. It only takes a few minutes to install and remove. The only drawback is that its a bit difficult to juggle, along with a latte and buttered croissant when I am on line at the 7-11.

poo_poo_poodio (121) -- 02.05.2008

PD: You don't have to juggle it, just wear it around your neck. Of course you have to use the closed front kind, the open front slips off. Say, that gives me an idea, I remember seeing a retrofit kit in the mall that fits over top of old bathtubs, how about a hard snap on cover that installs right over the existing toilet seat. Better yet, make it out of latex and put it in a wrapper like an ass gasket condom.
_______
"Can you spare a square?"

"No, I don't have a square to spare."

prarie doggin (1368) -- 02.05.2008

Hey PPP, thats a great idea. Maybe I'll get a chrome plated seat, and attach a chain to it. I could wear it around my neck like an Al Sharpton hubcap medallion. Thank you!!

Duped Dumper (not verified) -- 03.09.2008

Gayle's right. Apparently a lot of girls and guys too like me were duped by overzealous parents into holding our craps until we got home (my mom's favorite)or making the ass gasket requirement so daunting it was just easier to hold it in and not piss her off. Because my father was deceased and I was an only child, I was victimized by the propaganda until age 11 when I started middle school and encountered open stalls for the first time. Just encountering the taunts from the boys behind me in line on a couple of occasions caused me to dispense with the seat covering. When I got to high school, girls told me there were seat covers available but that few took the time and trouble to us them. Then when we studied the Title IX sex equity in education law in Government my senior year, I remember thinking how those ass gaskets could be justified. I have my Class of '78 reunion this year and have yet to think of the answer.

Emily Ann (not verified) -- 03.09.2008

In the oldest wing of my high school, each of the girls bathrooms has a metal dispenser behind each of the toilets. I have never seen one with paper in it and I remember two years ago when I started my freshman year, thinking it might have been some sort of a vent. The newest two additions to the building don't have them. I went on line and found that Title IX, which was passed in the early 1970s, was for equality of educational opportunity and experiences between genders. Would our compartments for the disposal of hygiene items in each stall come under the same category? Gayle asks a good question.

daphne (3202) -- 03.09.2008

Hi ladies. I think the reason each stall had them because otherwise women are more inclined to flush tampons and pads, and that can clog the toilet. Actually, I'm surprised that the newer bathrooms don't have sanitary pad disposal boxes. Where are you guys supposed to put your used ones? This seems ridiculous. I'm not sure if it's a Title Nine violation, but it's sure stoopid and a septic violation, huh?

I'd be tempted have a parent call the school anonymously and ask about this, because it does seem to NOT address your hygienic needs as females.

As to Title Nine, it was developed to fight sexual discrimination, but it's become most well known for sports. The rule used to be if a school didn't have, say, girl's softball, the coach for the boy's baseball team didn't have to let girls try out. Now, if a high school ro college doesn't have a woman's sport equivalent to the boy's sport, you may either try out for it or they have to provide you with that sport as a women's team option. If they have the equivalent, you have to play the one for your gender. It also goes both ways, I think. If a boy wants to play tennis, and the high school doesn't have a men's tennis team, I think he can compete with the women.

There are alot of arguments for and against Title Nine. Opponents complain of funding spent on women's sports, and sometimes I agree with them. There are more male sports and male athletes, and to be honest, Title Nine was not designed in spirit to take away funding from male sports that women have no interest in, nor was it implemented for strait statistics across the board. It was designed to balance the inequality women faced during the sixties and early seventies when trying to participate in almost anything. I always felt that colleges should address the numbers of each sex playing sports (and many more men than women play sports) and not the sex itself.

I'm impressed that you brought it up in this type of topic. Title Nine also addressed educational discriminations - such as guys having engineering and math clubs - and facility-based discriminations. I guess women's health care was not addressed in collegiate forums as well as it could have been. I'm not surprised. Did you know that the "myth of the clitoris and female orgasm" was addressed on a state or federal level in 1970? Back then, many men actually thought that the clitoral orgasm wasn't real, and when it was found to be real, the religious right decided it was against God. (the concept that a man wasn't necessary for a woman to get off must have scared the shit out of those guys). If men were, on the average, that ignorant of our basic sexuality, imagine a college girl trying to get pain relief for cramps or trying to explain to a college doctor that she felt sick "down there"? Title Nine addressed all this.

If you get an answer, I'd love to know what the school says! It would be interesting to hear their ideas of what you're supposed to do with all your "bloody buddies". Hope to hear from you again.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Shittin' Sean (not verified) -- 03.09.2008

Our school has the paper ass gaskets for the girls only! Isn't that discriminatory against us guys? Occasionally, when I'm walking my girlfriend to class, she will go in and quickly come back out. That is because the ass gasket papers are out in the bathroom and she will not pee or shit without one. Then I walk her upstairs where she will usually find a stall with them. Sometimes, however, we are given a tardy check because there is only a 6 minute break between classes. If the ass gasket covers are so important, shouldn't the guys' bathrooms have them, also? Where's the equality between the genders that Emily Ann brings up?

Older & Wiser (not verified) -- 03.10.2008

We have ass gaskets available in every stall in our office building. We use them each time we sit down. Are they going to harm you? Of course not. So why not just sit down with one under you for a layer of protection. It sure can't hurt. Now, why can't some of the younger posters figure that out?

Bilgepump (1336) -- 03.10.2008

Older and Wiser, obviously you are neither...you ever had a paper cut on your ass??!? IT stings like the dickens!!! I know, I AM older and wiser.

Renee' (not verified) -- 05.10.2008

Shittin' Sean, you need a new girlfriend. I can't believe a person would go so far out of their way and even take a "tardy check" so they don't have to sit on a toilet seat when they need to crap or pee. Also, her really weird obsession could get you DT time. LOL. I'm a 3-sport athlete, with a 4.2 GPA and also a Student Council member. I use the bathrooms several times a day and a couple of minutes down and a couple of sheets of TP are all I need. Your girlfriend, however, needs a shrink!

Hum bunger (59) -- 05.10.2008

I always use an ass gasket. It takes some patience to set the paper right but I make time for it even under trying circumstances. If no gasket is available I make one out of toilet paper.

Hum bunger (59) -- 05.10.2008

Bilgepump,

Many species of albatross are now becoming endangered. Please consider changing to seagulls! They are plentiful even in inland areas and have sharp beaks for secure no-slip anchorage.

daphne (3202) -- 05.10.2008

Renee,

I graduated ninth in my class with a 4.0 and got 1270 on my SAT's. I did 2 sports, was a member of the Student Council and the National Honor Society. I was the starting catcher on a state championship team and set the record for the most aces in a volleyball game my senior year. That was 21 years ago. It all means very little now and did little for me as far as getting to know and love my fellow earthlings. Sure, it looked great on college transcripts, but these accomplishments did little to encourage my understanding of human nature.

You have a great high school career going on that seems to have taught you to judge someone solely on one problematic part of their personality. She could be a wonderful person with much to offer, and here you are, suggesting she's not worth the time based on one idiosyncrasy, almost as if her total worth is nil because of it. It's a judgmental and elitist way to think.

I find this to be proof that high school means very little in the big scheme of things. Hopefully, you'll grow to see this in years to come.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump (1336) -- 05.10.2008

Thanks Hum, I had to go all the way back through this thread to figure what the fuck you were talking about...god, I'm getting old, and senile, and unfunny.

daphne (3202) -- 05.10.2008

That's alright, Bidge. I'll wipe the oatmeal off your chin and read you a bedtime story anyway.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Bilgepump (1336) -- 05.10.2008

You are far too good to me, Daphnedear.

Normal Freshman (not verified) -- 05.10.2008

I agree with Renee. There are some students at my school that are into the seat covering thing. It sucks. They take the extra time to waste toilet paper that they spread all over the seat and often they don't flush it when they leave. It sucks for us who have to wait longer for a stall while they ever so carefully line the seat. I'm in pain holding my shit in while they are wasting the TP I'm going to need to wipe with in a couple of minutes. That sucks. If they don't change their ways and start peeing and shitting like normal people, they will continue to piss off us normal users.

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