Do you poop in front of your significant other

// 73 Comments
PoopReport of the Year Awardj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb
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All the time; we are totally comfortable about it
29% (374 votes)
Sometimes, but usually only out of necessity
13% (167 votes)
I will poop if they are in the house, but not in the same room
24% (313 votes)
I would, but my poop smells too bad
7% (93 votes)
Hell no, I won't go
26% (341 votes)
Total votes: 1288

73 Comments on "Do you poop in front of your significant other"

KeepOnCrappin's picture
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I dont even poop on the same floor- I go down to the basement while others are in the attic.

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I voted the all the time option. Sharing the bathroom is relaxing for us and no big deal.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Logjam's picture
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This is something I just don't care to share. Sometimes the cats will come in, and I don't like this much either. And I notice that they jump out of the litter box when I walk in on them, so the feeling is mutual.

Logjam

AssBlaster2000's picture
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Logjam, our cats used to always come in the bathrom when we shat. Mr. Blaster got annoyed with this and devised a plan to ambush them when they were in the litterbox. They were quite perturbed and have since stopped trying to bust down the door (and usually succeeding) when we shat. Now if only I could figure out a way to get them to leave us alone when we have sex . . .

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Yes, I wish Blue Mew would leave us alone when we are in the sack. Damn cats!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

JR's picture
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Wondering what are peoples view on craping outdoors. (Back to nature shits). When I was about 9 or 10 I guess. My friend took a dump in front of me and someone else. It was an amazing log which just seemed to slide out slowly. He was shameless. Didn't seem too mind doing it in front of spectators.
But ever since this I have wanted to have a dump in front of someone outside.
Has anyone else had this experience?

AssBlaster2000's picture
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Heh heh, I was re-reading this, and Logjam, you don't care to share, but can you spare a square?

The Shit Volcano's picture
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Forgot to add, I don't crap in front of my boyfriend because my shit stinks so bad he can't stay in the room. His shits are much worse, though, and for this reason I wouldn't stay in the bathroom while he is shitting. The cats won't even go in there while HE'S on the pot.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

scatoman's picture
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Remembering an incident that happened with an old girlfriend a few years back, I started writing a comment on this thread last night, and it becamse so long that I decided to submit it as a PoopReport instead.

Talking of animals, though, our kitten loves to put her paws under the bathroom door when I'm in there having a dump. Also, if I have a piss and the door is open slightly, she'll force the door open, strut in, saunter up to the toilet and place her front paws on the bowl. Then she'll try to grab my piss stream with her paw, as if she's trying to swat a fly. It's hilarious to watch.

King of Thunder's picture
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Once when we were both drunk after a 4th of July bash, my girlfriend pulled up her skirt (she was already commando) and climbed on my lap for a ride as I was trying to drop a bomb. Talk about coming and going at the same time...lol...we almost broke the toilet.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Mary Mary did it for the first time, yesterday. I was in the bath tub and she had to go. No problemo. Her shit smells like roses.

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points
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I consider it a private function that, out of courtesy, we keep to ourselves. I'm not shameful, just private. Even the family dog always turned her back to us when she dropped a dog doo. Sometimes she's look over her shoulder at us, as though she were saying "What are YOU lookin' at?!"
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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I've mentioned it on the forums many times, but I'll add it here: I prefer to poop in private. Not out of shamefulness, but because I like having one place in my small apartment I know I can be completely alone. Even married, it's still nice to have a bit of me-time. I like to enjoy my poop without interruption.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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I think Dave speaks, as usual, for the silent-but-violent majority.

If you want to know the story of my water-closted life as a married man, read my post under "Owning the Throne." Currently, I date Miss Hermione Granger. Well, not really, as Hermione actually belongs to Ron Weasley, but to know Hermione is to know my girlfriend, so we will just refer to her as Hermione, also.

Anyway, (my) Hermione has a great sense of humor about most things, but, having reached a certain age without ever being intimate with anybody before has left her a bit prudish about bodily functions. On top of this, I was diagnosed about a year ago with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which may explain my sudden interest in the World of Turd. If you know about IBS, it is like the graveyard: When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Also, one finds oneself occasionally blowing the trouser trumpet without warning. Hermione takes a clinincal interest in my problems, but I usually head for the upstairs head when I feel the mudslide coming on.

Bunga Din's picture
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I don't know why some people get all hung up on sex between consenting adults, it's not like God is gonna strike you de

The Dumpster's picture
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Well, I wasn't trying to start an argument or anything; I just wanted to know what was appropriate to talk about on this web site without getting into being judgmental or disrespectful of anyone else. I mean, some people (including my girlfriend and Miss Manners) think it is kinky for us to be up to something like this web site, and that we should just hold our wind.

I'm afraid when we get away from scatology and into soteriology, this web site begins to lose the fun which gives it such psychological value.

By-the-way, Bunga Din, I love your handle! I take it you are a Kipling fan? "O, the uniform 'e wore/Was nothin' much before/And rather less than 'arf 'o that be'ind...."

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points
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ad. Sorry about that, thought I was having a heart attack. First let me say welcome, The Dumpster, just trying to have some shits and giggles with you, as well, most of my poop stories have outed me as an habitual adulterer, so i just thought I would let you know we agree to disagree, but that's ok here too. There really isn't much that isn't appropriate here other than the shit/piss fetishists and others of similar perverse ilk. Regarding Kipling, never Kipled, but if it's like felching, I'll take a pass. Welcome aboard.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Boy, am I slow! I realize now I should have been worried that God had, indeed, stricken you "de" right in the middle of your earlier post! Damn, some people on this site have subtle senses of humor. I hope you weren't serious about the heart attack; I'm glad you have lived to fart another day.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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Only thing is, if God had <> stricken bunga dead in the middle of his blasphemous post, who hit the "Post comment" button????

ShitDump's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Nope, that's private time. I don't have a problem anonuncing that I'm going to take a shit and I make no efforts to pipe down the noises, but she better not come in during the act. I still pretend she doesn't although she has fouled up my bathroom a time or two.

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Dumpter. You don't think that if God could strike bunga dead, that he couldn't also take the time to hit the Post button so as to let his handiwork be known? Oh, ye of little faith. Here, thrust your hands in my shit and see if I am not real.

Logjam

Logjam's picture
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Dumpster, with an s. Forgive me, for I have sinned.

Logjam

The Dumpster's picture
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I love you, Logjam. If you are female (which I doubt), will you marry me? If you are male, will you just tell me whether you are an Imodium person or an Ex-Lax person? (I need to know this, because, as a victim of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and I have a hard time idenitifying with the constipated crowd...).

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Stop it, you tease. You already admitted above that you don't fool around, so spin yourself right off that bar stool, mister, and hurry home to your sweety.

Logjam

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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The "stool" I need to use right now has nothing to do with the bar, but thanks, anyway.

The Shit Volcano's picture
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I don't know which is worse, though. Crapping in front of your SO or having them pop your blackheads and pimples. My grandparents apparently used to do this when they were young.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Dumpster's picture
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I cannot believe how much I have learned about this site, and the people on it, since my last post here.

The Dumpster's picture
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On Tuesday--Valentine's Day, it developed that Hermione has decided once again to take a break from Dumpster, and this coincided with my long-time secretary, Fartis, revealing to me that she and her husband-of-less-than-six-months are separated. Both long stories, so we decided to take off early and go drown our sorrows in Jack Daniel's and tobacco on my screen porch.

Everything went fine until I went inside for something, and Fartis (who has been like a daughter to me ever since she graduated from high school, and through three divorces (2 hers, 1 mine), called to me to "come into the bathroom."

Well, shit!! There she was, taking a shit!! In my bathroom!! Pants down; grin on face; moon on bowl; stink on high.

I muttered something about freshening the drinks and fled to the kitchen. This girl--a twice-married woman; mother of two; my loyal employee of 20 years--suddenly after a couple of Jack 'N Gingers wants me to WATCH HER CRAP IN MY BATHROOM???

I was, in the words of the movie Casablanca, "shocked, shocked!"

I've been away from the office since then. How do I act when I go in tomorrow?

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points
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I'll kick one out in front of my SO if I need to. Usually after the first time, the noise and smell kinda changes how they react when I say "I gotta spackle the mug". My ex still recalls the potential horror of those words.;}

Dumpster: Don't act....REACT!
Sounds like she wants to be more than "a loyal employee"...=P There is a saying though.."Don't shit where you eat". Try this....tell her you are doing research for a poop web site and you want her opinion on TP. Her smile (or lack thereof) will tell you everything. (Don't forget the JD and smokes JIC).

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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She went back to her husband last night, thank the Lord. As my dear departed grandfather used to say, "don't put your pecker in the payroll." Or as Clarence Thomas learned from Anita Hill, the Eleventh Commandment is "Thou shalt not show thy rod to thy staff."

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Dumpster--great wording: "Pants down; grin on face; moon on bowl; stink on high." LOL!

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Oops. Meant to add that I'm glad she reconcilled to her hubby, for both your sakes. :)

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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GGG, Confucius say: "Secretary screwed on desk become permanent fixture."

I still can't figure out what possessed her to invite me into the bathroom to watch her shit, though. We must've had more Jack Daniels than I thought.

Maybe that's why her husband moved out.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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BAH Hah ha! :) Maybe since she's known you since she graduated HS, she feels really (REALLY!) comfortable with you. I was going to say that perhaps if you emphasized your fatherly feelings toward her, it would short-circuit any more shenanigans, but then again...maybe not. Maybe it WAS just the Jack Daniels. Has the subject come up, since?

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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No, thank goodness. That was a close call. You know, sometimes us more mature guys draw the bootie in unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) ways. I got an email from a lady on this site this afternoon asking me, in all seriousness, if my son's name was REALLY "Little Dumpster." I started to write her back and say, well that's what we call him, because we're really not sure who his mother is.

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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You mean you DIDN'T tell her that? That would have been great! As my mother would have said, "Some people are too stupid to live." In my opinion, people with zero sense of humor are are just as bad, and folks that suffer from BOTH stupidity and humorlessness should just be put out of their misery.

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points
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GGG, my motto is, "never get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man (or woman)."

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Good point.

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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TD, your poem sounds like an old nursery rhyme.

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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I think it is either "The Relatives Came," or "How many trucks can a tow truck tow?"

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Stinkin&#039; Stinkin&#039; Stinkin&#039;'s picture
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Ummm. Girls are always wanting to know if your shit stinks like theirs does. For some reason, this makes them happy to know. I suppose that way they don't have to worry about pooping, or airing out the bathroom after a good dump. And anyway, I think most dudes like the smell of their doll's ass. Something genetic, I suppose. If she smells *** heavenly *** then she's been eating good food, and is good to get preggers. My theory. Bye.

The Dumpster's picture
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This thread may have been my very first as a registered user, but I wanted to note that I have let both Fartis and Hermione go, and am currently living the life of a celibate, single man.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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Dumpster congratulations to you as you continue on the road to 2500 posts. Sorry about your new single life but some things just arent meant to be. Have a beer on me! I am also currently single with only an extensive porno collection to keep me entertained. As far as taking a dump in front of my significant other when I was married it wasnt a problem we were both pretty stinky and loud. I think a lot of it has to do with comfort level. I would hope that when I do find another to share my personal space with that she is as loud and proud as I am. Sadly though that may not be realistic thinking. Its always nice though to be with someone you feel comfortable enough to take a dump in front of.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Dumpster - I have of course not met them, so should not comment, but it does seem to me that you have 'let go' more than one very interesting lady!! Personally, like Thunderous, I am single and I very much echo his hopes about a future partner!!

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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I will poop in front of my wife any time. I have no inhabitions,and my feelings are, she has seen me naked anyway...I have nothing to hide, and she poops in front of me too. In fact, while we were just dating, we were already pooping in front of one another. We have also pooped together, and one of us would poop while the other was either in the shower or using the sink.

_______
Bruce S.

In search of the ever evasive BM

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points
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I had a significant other years ago, and we used to never go in front of each other. One year he got very ill and was in bed most of the time, that's when I had to "help him go" and clean him up. He was a trooper up until the bitter end.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Jeez, Frank. I'm sorry to hear that.

(*GGG wanders off to take a Xanax and/or a Zoloft*)

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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Yes, Frank - I'm really sorry too. Puts other things in a bit more perspective.

PS - GGG - another cultural point - Xanax/Zoloft - paper tissue? often Keenex over here?

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points
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Hammy, OMG you had me spewing water out my nose on your above comment to GGG... go google the Xanax/ Zoloft....you silly bumdweller. You are too funny.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points
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Yes, we have Kleenex here, but I was referring to medications.

Xanax is for anxiety, and Zoloft is for depression.

Not that I would know, of course.