My pet peeve isn't on there. I hate red eyes. Just annoying as hell. You need to see what you've done for health reasons. You don't have to linger or take a picture of it, but just that quick glance before wiping can help you avoid problems sometimes.

Anyhoo, the fickle red eye takes away your control of one of your most intimate rituals, and it's just not right.

I cannot stand someone else's pee around, even if it's just annoying. It's that someone leaves it for me.

I like to think people who do this are either in special ed classes or blind, because otherwise, there's no good reason I can think of.

And by blind I mean that they do not realize they've drippled, and by in special ed classes, I mean that they are used to having someone clean up after them.

I am not bashing. Now bowl clogger has me thinking.....
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

For me, it is a tossup between piss on the seat and the unflushed toilet (especially unflushed pee).

Though annoying, unflushed poo doesn't bother me as much (as long as there is no stench to go with it). I find that the hot humid summers make unflushed pee smell twice as bad, and that the pee leaves more stains in the bowl than poo.

As for pissing all over the place, if a person can't aim, they should sit on the toilet to pee. If they make a mess, they should clean up after themselves.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

You forgot shit streaks on the toilet seat. That is so nasty. I could rant on that alone for days, but since I accidentally pissed all over the toilet seat, I better clean it up before Daphne needs to go.

I hate not having paper to clean up shop. Come on help a brother out here if you use it all replace the roll. Do not leave one square that is considered empty.

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No one is the same after I release my Methane!

I'm a piss-hater as well. I can pretty much cope with the previous user's stench, but when I have to clean up urine (and then sit on the remnants of said urine afterwards), it really gets to me.

Seems I'm not alone on this, not only on the site but also in real life. At the place I used to work, there was one guy who used to leave pee on the seat and on the floor in front of the pan. No one I worked with was particularly prissy about toilet-related matters (it was a very guy-oriented situation), but the pee everywhere really, really annoyed everyone. People would say to this guy, "Goddamn, stop peeing on the seat! Put the seat up!" He would just laugh it off. Git.

The only thing on this poll that could make you sick is coming in contact with somebody else's body fluids.

(I mean sick as in diseased, as opposed to simply nauseated.)

Urine on the seat is disgusting (dont come to my school Daphne) but low-flo's are a super innconvienience. My turds cannot go down in anything but the good stuff. The toilet couldn't handle it.

I also hate the ones with super small holes. My friends house has this super tiny hole. If a stool ever went down that I would go eat a cookie.

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Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Had to go low flow on this one...I don't have time to stand around watching swirling around, just for the ride, and then looking up with those begging, poopy-dog corn eyes, pleading in silence "Can we do it again??"

I absolutely hate urine on the seat also. It's three times as bad when you don't even realise it is there, and you end up sitting on it. Its happened to me once or twice.

"Sit in piss once, shame on the pisser. Sit in piss twice, shame on the sitter."

Dave, thanks for posting my poll idea. Inspiration struck me when opening a stall door. Previous user would have been better off just using a hole in the floor, as his excavation was a multiple peeve violator. No toilet paper gets my goat.

I like to sit when I piss, it's more relaxing, gets you off your feet for a couple minutes, and you don't have to clean the pot as often 'cause there's not a bunch of splatter building up on the rim. Why walk when you can ride? Ride that throne proudly!

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

I voted for the unflushed toilet. Pee all over the seat is pretty gross too; even if you wipe it up, you still know it was there... *shudder* I'm not even a germophobe and it grosses me out.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

Lo-flows. I always clog em up.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Piss on the seat or a clogged toilet with shit, piss, and toilet paper all over. That happens quite a bit at my school and it grosses me out.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle:
Please be neat; wipe up the seat."

I can understand a little with the "shake" happening, but really... wipe it up, it takes 2 seconds.

Unflushed toilet really ticks me off. Really, what kind of screw-up can't flush the toilet when finished?

For me, it's a tossup between pee on the seat and unflushed toilets. And it's not just pee on the seats that bugs me, it's when it gets on the floor by the toilet or on the edge of the bowl under the seat.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

I HATE it when I go into a bathroom and see shit, piss, AND menstrual blood in the toilet.
Used dirty tampons on top of the toilet paper roll instead of in the garbage really makes me mad too.

Gum in the urinal, really pisses me off. What kind of asshole does that?

Hmmm. This gives me an idea.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

When you are pooping in a public stall and somebody looks over it and asks you ",whatcha doing?" I really really hate that....

Sam's comment about gum in the urinal is the least of it. What about cigarette butts, receipts, candy wrappers, paper clips, pens, buttons and yes, even "Are You Saved?" tracts. I've seen all of those stewing in the lemonade stand.
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Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

People use urinals as trash cans?! That's horribly disgusting! How stupid can people be?
Things like this really make me glad that women don't use urinals (not that I use public bathrooms anyway)...

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

I've seen women use urinals. They either back up to them, or they do that "V" thing with their fingers.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

Help me out here, TBW (or anyone): what does "red eyes" refer to? Are you talking about those auto-flush sensors?

That's a new one for me...the "V" thing with their fingers? Please enlighten me. I've never heard of that!

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

The woman takes her fingers and puts them in a "V", like Richard Nixon, or a hippy. They then place the upside down V over their pee hole, and lift up. This serves to direct the urine stream outward.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

That's really gross, Sam. I would never do that. Geez.
Why do you know about it in the first place?

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

If anyone ever goes to Bike Week in Daytona, you'll see that they have spontaneous contests for just about anything. It only takes two people to start a contest. One of the oldest traditions is the "Who Can Piss Farthest" contest, held at a couple different bars during Bike Week. There's actually a women's contest for that, and some of those girls can really put guys to shame.
Believe me, if you haven't been to Bike Week, you can't imagine the creativity that drunk bikers possess. I had a girlfriend who, I later found out, had won the "egg laying" contest two years running. I'll leave that one to your imagination, but I will say that it is a contest where the women squat on top of the bar so all the patrons can watch and cheer them on, with everyone clucking and imitating chickens. Bizarre.
I think they do some of the same stuff out in Sturgis, for those of you who can't make it to Florida. If the retirees in Daytona had any idea what really went on during Bike Week, they'd beg for Spring Break to return!

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Livin' La Vida Caca!

PLEASE tell me they don't serve those eggs at breakfast the next morning!

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And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.

If you ever saw Pink Flamingos, you might remember the line, "Cooked in my own litte oven." That's what I think about when I remember hearing about the egg laying contest for the first time.

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Livin' La Vida Caca!

Piss everywhere but the bowl. I hate going into a restroom stall to discover that the girl in front of me peed sitting up and didn't know how. Worse still, she didn't clean up after herself!

No toilet paper runs next, particularly if I have to shit or have my period. Gross!

Stench is in third place. All I can think of are all the little shit particles floating in the air that are now going up my nose to produce the current stench. My germophobia goes absolutely nuts!

Low flush toilets are the shit in my asshole! Some of the newer ones are okay, but anything installed at the end of the 1990s, when low flushes were first invented, sucks a major steaming wad of green-pussy donkey balls! What was the point? You have to flush three or four times and end up using twice as much water as you would in a regular toilet!

Unflushed toilets don't usually bother me. If there is a little bit of piss I'll just flush it and the problem is solved. The only time it really bothers me is when someone has left a slimey turd in there, something with worms, or a bloody object. Still, it is easy to just flush it down. I've never understood these ladies I see in the bathroom who walk into a stall, find it unflushed, and then back out again like they just found a camel chip on the floor. Just flush the damn thing and go, idiots!

I have to add another pet peeve that was not listed on here. Girls who leave period blotters in the bowl! Unlike your average unflushed toilet, you can't just flush this and solve the problem. The pad will block the toilet up and then you might just have a lahar full of shit, piss, and blood hunks on your shoes. Worse still is when it's been sitting in there a while and swells to the size of a watermelon. Ladies, please! I don't need to see your orange water!

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I know what you mean, I hate seeing used pads where they don't belong. I especially hate the incident when I was in year 4 and someone stuck a pad to a school toilet seat. That was 6 years ago and I hear there's still traces of it there!

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

I'm always annoyed when I drop a particularly beautiful doot, one with healthy color, smooth texture, impressive length, adequate girth, and coiled neatly in a spiral.... and there's no one there to share it.... er... witness it, I mean....
Reminds me of the time in school when I dropped a large one, ran to the cafeteria, came back an put a knife and fork on the toilet seat. Of course I didn't flush it!

I picked No TP because that is the most common problem in my house, no one but me knows how to replace it. I'm used to the none flushed floaters though, my son being the culprit.

Just about the worst thing ever is when someone didn't flush and the whole mess has had a few hours to marinate. You can't just flush it, because you know that the force of the water will stir up those now oh-so-tender terds, pulverize them, and leave you with a surprise gust of bowel-stench that had been sealed inside the poo nuggets... and if you're really unlucky, it's so full that you feel splashes of it when you try to flush it before you go.

On a side note, second grossest is making a little TP seat-cover and sitting down, then feeling the two or three piss droplets soak through and touch your skin.

I'm speaking of public restrooms, by the way.

low flush toilet i hate those things if you can't give a proper burial to your boneless brown trout it's very heart wrenching i am not advocating a 21 flush salute but come on lets be real