What is your favorite poop ranked by time of day?

// 34 Comments
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34 Comments on "What is your favorite poop ranked by time of day?"

Thunderbox's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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For me, not long after breakfast and just after arriving at work.

Yep, its that time again when my arse is starting to bulge, my ring is quivering with anticipation, and the turtle`s head`s about to break through.

The office bogs are going to take a slattering.

For me, you can't beat curling a honking great turd out whilst getting paid.

The voice of sanity

phatmanxxl's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Nothing like a good 'ol beefy welcome home poop after holding it in driving around town all day.

ms. pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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much better to poop at work and use their toilet paper. Plus i don't have to clean the bowl.

toilet paper

Snapper's picture
l 100+ points
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I voted for the morning because I like to start the day out light. Although I have to agree with phat as well!

through a screen's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Hi all. I'm new here to the toilet, whats going on??


_______
Beers,

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to poop happily..

Beers,

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to poop happily..

through a screen's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I also voted morning, however I tend to go in shifts. Mainly after a good evening of cheep beer.

Beers,

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to poop happily.."

Beers,

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to poop happily..

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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i mentioned on another poll that i'm a mostly morning pooper. the first one right after i wake up isn't always as satisfying. i try not to spend too much time on the toilet at this time because i allot myself a certain amount of time to get ready, and if i stay on the toilet for too long, i'll end up running late. therefore, i'll cut myself off sometimes when i could probably poop some more.

by the time i've finished my coffee at work, i'm ready for a good poop which is usually a little more satisfying.

but now that i'm thinking about it, my first poop is usually cleaner. i think the coffee makes my second poop more messy, and it requires more wiping, which i don't enjoy.

now i'm conflicted!
_______
i love poop.

i love poop.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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(sigh) I seem to be in constant conflict with Ms Pance suddenly. The morning poop, after that first cup of coffee, right before the shower...with what pretends to be the local newspaper...I"m good for about 4 hours after that...blissful, happy, joyous, and free. Then the world and life start, and I happen across other humans, and they fuck it all up. Oh wait, thats Dumpy's line, sorry.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I'm definitely a mid-morning shitter. Generally, I take a dump after I've been at work for about 1-2 hours. Also, sometimes I'll take a dump in the evenings, which really makes for a restful nights sleep.
_______
Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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Im kind of in a bind here the morning dump is great BUT I also enjoy the good welcome home crap which can be a bit of a surprise BUT no less satisfying. The morning dump is always a sure thing though with me.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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I think the mid-morning is by far the most satisfying. End of the day, before bed time, is the least. But being as irregular as I am, I just have to take what comes and be thankful!

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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My early-morning poop is something I can count on, a steady and enjoyable performance. Any other during the day is a bonus, such as the nice 2 turds and change I managed soon after luch (at work) today. I'll take a healthy movement whenever I can get it, but I do look forward to that early morning session.

Hooters's picture
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I would have to say that the welcome home dump is the greatest of all time. When your in class or at work and you know its coming but its toward the end of class/shift you want to hold it in. It just so nice to come home and have your own personal shitter waiting for you to drop one down in its mouth, like a kinky school girl.

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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I have to say the most satisfying for me is the morning poop. 9 times out of 10, this takes place at work. I seem to do my best, after I have my morning coffee and breakfast, and a little help from my friend Amitiza...I would have to say the before bedtime shit is my second most favorite_______

In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Anonymous Coward's picture
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love the site...
i voted "welcome home" cuz i go to school and if u do it at school it smells bad. Its nice to poop in ur own toilet.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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My favorite potty time is right before bed. The Things are asleep, the dogs have all been out already and are ready for bed, the cats have eaten, and the house is quiet. I can put my butt on the seat with whatever catalog came in the mail or the latest Fangoria, turn on the fan, and zone out for a few.

Then I can crawl under the covers and sleep poop-free. It's nice.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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REM should write a song about my favorite poop. "Night Pooper"! I usually like to do my doody right before bed because my poop tends to throw loud parties at all hours of the night. It's best to evict them before they crank up the Black Eyed Peas and Pussycat Dolls. Or worse, invite their friends. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is!

_______
Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

kjetski's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I used to work in a downtown office. As I had hemmrhoids at the time the bowl would look like Antietem after the battle. I used to love to drop a ginormous load and switch stalls to wipe. Occasionally I would hear somebody walk in and groan in disgust followed by a loud flush...

Mary Queen of Scats's picture
l 100+ points
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There's nothing better than the before bed poo. I actually missed it last night and woke up at 4:30 a.m. with horrible stomach cramps.

_______
Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

Bad kitty! Bathtubs are NOT litterboxes!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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For me, the late morning poop, after the daily cup of coffee, is the best. It's proof that everything is working normally. It's usually good-sized, well-formed, doesn't waste a lot of time coming out, is relatively easily wiped up after, and its departure leaves me feeling happy and productive.

Loves the pomp's picture
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Came across this site by accident and I must say, what a breath of um, fresh air. Isn't pooping wonderful? My favourite has to be the welcome home poop, but any poop is always welcome :)

Chuck's picture
l 100+ points
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I am going off the board here. My favorite poop predeces any distance run or race. Debember 6 through 8 I added fiber and fruit to my diet as body fuel for a Saturday marathon. I had four days of large, long, solid, impressive poops. Those larger than usual evacuations helped me to a Boston Marathon qualifying time.

A Different Anonymous Coward's picture
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I voted for late night. It has to do with something psychological that goes on inside my head... I absolutely can't sleep if I don't feel absolutely clean everywhere. Even if I just took a shower, say at 6:00, and had to be somewhere at 7:00 in the evening, church service, dinner with folks, whatever it is... as soon as I get home, if I go to bed, I shower again. It's weird... I can't help it. I sleep better if I feel washed off. By the same token, I also sleep better if I feel washed OUT... if you know what I mean. Thus, the late-night before-bed visit does me more good than the others.

Also I'm almost a germ-phobic so I avoid public and office restrooms like the plague... if I don't do it in the morning, I wait until I get home that night, unless it's an emergency. So, middle-of-the-day and after-lunch are usually out.

anonymous coward's picture
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I don't take morning poops. I used to, but now I don't have 15 minutes to drop a load before I leave for school. I usually have to hold it in for about 90 minutes until the end of 1st period, and by that time, it comes out with a several megaton intensity.So far, I have clogged 2 or 3 school toilets.

Cataclysmic Cornhole's picture
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I love the sanctity of my own house and my own toilet. especially after i have been traveling around for my job and having to shit in porta-podies all damn day.

the welcome home poo is the best one.

YeahItSucks's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Doesn't anybody else feel like there's a huge load off their shoulders (or colon) when you get a poop out of the way early in the morning in your own place? Then you don't have to worry about where you will be when you have to go later. Even if you go a couple of times a day, that first one being out of the way eases all of the others.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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I take my dump in the morning, usually just before I leave for work. A good shit in the morning is a great way to start the day.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I dump 3 to 4 times (2 in the day and 1 at night)
I like having a few minutes to sit before I go to bed and it makes me less gassy

vegetarian pooper's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I usualy poo 2 times a day and dump again at around 10 or 11:40ish pm I get gas so that helps get it out.

I like poop coming out as much as food coming in

poopopolus's picture
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I love the morning shit because before the morning shit comes the morning farts. Then I drink a cup of coffee and then a protein shake, then BOOM, my ass be crackin and the porcliean be crackin!

Conflicted's picture
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I am conflicted. I have been a long time morning pooper for many years, but I just recently switched to night time pooper. I don't like being rushed for work, so I thought I would try the night before bed.

However, it feels different. There seems to be a pressure building all day. Now the thought of pooping occurs throught work. It never was this way when I was a morning pooper. In the morning I would poop and it would be out of mind. When I pooped in the morning the turd was forming when I was asleep, and I physically did not feel it. Now I can consciously feel the poop forming during the day when I am awake. I don't like the feeling of the building pressure. The thought of poop has been way too much on my mind. This is why I am here searching for answers.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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How did you change your habit from morning till night? Most of us just have to go when the urge hits and cannot control when that happens. Did you consciously say, "This isn't happening in the morning any more; I'm going at night"?

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I find that I have to poop every morning or else I'll feel horrible and bloated for the rest of the day.

If I don't have a good nights sleep, I don't manage to poo in the morning. Anyone know why it works that way?

chunky's picture
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Definitely the morning poop. It always comes out the easiest, although while typing this on my laptop i am sitting on my toilet at 1:14 am.. It's almost morning.