Pooping naked

// 77 Comments
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77 Comments on "Pooping naked"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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If I am getting into the shower or just happened to be making monkeylove with a certain Mr. daphne, I may sit on the pot naked.

But, you know what? I don't like it. My back gets cold and then I get the shivers.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I do it naked, at home. I wake up naked, poop naked, bathe naked, and then put on clothes.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Chuck's picture
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If my dump immediately precedes a shower, that is probably my only reason to be naked on bowl.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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I voted for option two. I poop naked only if I originally was naked.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

turd turdgutson's picture
l 100+ points
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For some reason, dook seems to smell infinitely worse when pooping naked. And a thousand times worse still if pooping naked and wet from a shower.

Question: Why do shower farts stink so badly?
_______
"...human shit has more of an almond, or perhaps a macadamia flavor to it. I hope you will all take my advice and really consider tasting your poop some time, as I have. It's really quite an experience." - Ratz

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

whatthefuckamidoing's picture
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I do it naked in the tub,
Do it with my cousin "Bub".
Do it in a busy street,
Or in a toilet nice and neat.
I will shit in an old shoe box
Or behind a door that safely locks.
I will shit in pouring rain,
Even if it causes pain.
I shit here and I shit there,
I've even shat my underwear.
I shit in stalls in crowded crappers,
Or in a convention of animal trappers.
I will shit out gobs of green,
And not flush if I feel mean.
I do so love to shit I say,
That I do it every day.
Shit in light and shit in dark.
Once I shit in Central Park.
Shit with Elvis in a UFO,
Shit with folks I do not know.
Shit with commies in Saigon,
Or in Jamaica - that's shittin', mon!
I shit up and I shit down,
I'd shit if I was a circus clown.
I shit here and I shit there,
Guess I'll shit at the county fair.
I love to rhyme about shit you see,
Its easier than rhyming about plain old pee.
I'd shit behind a door and slam it,
I'd even shit with old Samdamnit.

Nine Inch Log's picture
k 500+ points
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Horray wtfamidoing. That was beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye. Myself, I like being naked (clothes are so chaffing) especially when it's hot so I end up pooping naked quite a bit. Also, given my condition (story coming soon I promise) I have several messy shits so if I'm not naked when I start, I am when I finish.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points
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Wow... just... wow.

Nine out of fifty five people do, on a regular basis, take their clothes off to poop. You learn something new every day on Poop Report.

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points
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It feels better and more free, plus it's only natural. It avoids messes during splashback. Also, if you use a bidet (or some variant thereof), your clothes can't get wet.

_______
Damnit, someone stole my signature!

[Insert witty banter here]

beth's picture
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stange but true but i enjoy getting naked and watching myself in the mirror as I poop...

wtf?'s picture
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First time here probably last too. All I can say is holy sh*t, you people may be talented, but you are soooooo f*cking weird.

The Big Wiper's picture
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What's with the *, wtf? Afraid we'll be offended? We're certainly more tolerant than that. BTW, try tolerance sometimes. It's a great tonic!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Chuck's picture
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turd, I agree shower farts have more smell or body. I am hypothesizing the humidity and closed quarters of a shower enhance the aroma. Perhaps farting in a sauna has the same multiplier effect.

Betty Poop's picture
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yes i think because the fart is trapped it does not dissipate (sp? i should know this...)as it would outside the shower.
i just got out of the shower but i didn't poo. but i am naked! yay! ;)
ps good comeback tbw.

_______
poop poop eee doop!

poop poop eee doop!

the log of hazzard's picture
l 100+ points
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I haven't been naked on the pot for a long time. The only reason for me to do it is if I was naked already. Like just getting out of the shower or something.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

shitwit's picture
k 500+ points
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Crappin naked is convenient especially when the urge strikes while showering. I just don't like sitting on the pot dripping wet and naked while pooping. But sometimes there just isn't enough time to dry off completely!


_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Hanus Anus's picture
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Poop as you are.

Happy crapping! (_o_)

Thunderbox's picture
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Chuck, you might be right with the close space and humidity theory. Imagine a Swedish sauna with 5 or 6 folk in there after a night on gravadlax, beer and swedish meatballs.

The voice of sanity

The Big Wiper's picture
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shitwit makes an interesting observation and draws a pertinent distinction for me: shitting nude is no big deal for me. But shitting nude while dripping wet is not acceptable. However, as I write this, I realize that that never happens to me because I wouldn't take a shower and then take a nude dump. I'd do those two in the reverse order.

Still and all, who wants the sensation of a wet toilet seat?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Never really thought about it. I'm naked most of the time at my house (unless some prude is visiting) and if I have to poo during that time I do. If I'm clothed, I poo clothed. It really doesn't matter to me. Incidentally, I am typing in the nude.

_______
"That was a very disappointing party. I showed up and everyone left!"- Camille

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

cosmo's picture
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personally, I poo as naked as I can whenever I can. The primary reason is I don't like to have my ankles restrained by pants, as i prefer a more obtuse leg angle for cleanliness reasons. Taking the shirt off is just icing on the cake. Even in public bathrooms I'll de-pants if I'm wearing flipflops.

Hamster's picture
k 500+ points
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TBW must be right here - why would you shower then dump? For personal hygene reasons alone! Not to mention sitting on the pot whilst wet! Does the urge strike that quickly for some people? I always know that I'm going to need a shit in the next hour or so. Is that unusual?

Brown Cuticle's picture
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I have to agree with hamster. the only time #2 creeps up on my butt is the first 30 minutes after i wake up in the morning. other than that, i can usually feel it coming on slowly.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i usually sit on the toilet nude before i get in the shower, or if i'm going to masturbate

Super Pooper's picture
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I always prefer a nude poo moment. I try to remain clothed if I'm in a hurry ... but normally, with my trousers off, I feel unbalanced with my shirt on ... and I worry that it might hang down and somehow get involved with the action below in a messy way.

Someone made fun of my nephew the other day for doing exactly this type of thing (his sister and cousin caught him stark bollock naked while doing the do) ... I was left feeling a little ashamed and guilty for not defending his ... lifestyle choice ...

daphne's picture
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You can still defend him. It doesn't matter if the moment's past.

Were than any times as a kid you were made fun of by family members that were just, now that you look back on it, useless? Do the good deed and stick up for him now. Don't be a pussy. Be the good guy. The next time you're with him and the family, bring it up, and admit what you've admitted here to a bunch of strangers! Karma will get your back later.

I can tell you I was only defended once or twice by other family members as a kid, and those times stick out in my head like beacons because they were so unexpected. My one uncle is gold in my eyes because he stepped in and jollied up a few bad moments during one family vacation when it became apparent to him that I was being picked on. I've never forgotten, and I'm so grateful to him. You can be that dude!

Grab yourself by the shorts and do the right thing. Good luck. I'm pulling for you.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

shiter's picture
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I shit in any uranel I can, all naked withe my firend. At home it is all in the shower

ooptnac's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I fel like it is so much easierto shit when you are naked. With my bare DD breasts and my perfect ass, sitting down with the door open, not caring who sees you, makes it so much easier to just rip out 18 farts a minute and dispense sort serve

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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The spelling mistakes of shiter gave me the weirdest vision in my head.

uranel: a toilet for aliens from Uranus.
firend: a guy with a tree sticking out of his ass.

Carry on. Carry on.

_______
Born right the first time.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

poop cheerleader's picture
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water always makes me go poops, so I do spent a lot of days getting out of the shower to have a bowel movement naked.

Jer H.'s picture
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Sweet Jesus! I am home. I always thought i was the only one who enjoyed to be naked whilst dropping the kids at the pool. Of course i can't get naked at work or other public places. But if i am at someones home or my own then i do doft the clothing. It is just super relaxing. I feel the pants constrict my legs together. Yuk! if it is cold i ususally leave my shirt on though. But if it is hot i bring the small fan in. Nothing worse than trying to shit and sweat dripping off you. later brethren

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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Too much work to get totally naked just to shit. Unless you just happen to be getting out of the shower when the urge hits. Otherwise, I'm always at least half clothed.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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my brother does it, glad to know it's normal.

hayley's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Only if I am already naked.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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How often is that, Haley?...uh...just asking....
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

nick09's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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only when i sleep naked and wake up having to take a shit

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
k 500+ points
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ummmmmmmm okay I would HOPE that if the urge to poo happens in the shower that you are still wiping or cleaning with a washcloth since you have dirtied your asshole. I myself poo naked only when I am sleeping which I do naked or that first thing in the morning after FOUR ICE COLD glasses of water dump.
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AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Bilge, I hope she's not a stripper. That could get nasty.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I definitely feel that being in the nude is SO much more comfortable. Fully nude though, don't want the legs constricted or feeling unbalanced. I also love reading PR while pooping-I don't lend my phone to anybody :)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i dont know why do i get my clothes off when i poop its so annoying how do i get used to doing it with clothes on ?

PeePeeDiane's picture
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PeePeeDianeI love to poop[ naked, when Im at home, Im naked anyway.

PeePeeDiane

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I enjoy pooping naked, but it doesn't happen very often. The only time that opportunity strikes is if I am getting ready to shower; then I sit, poop, clean up, and really finish the cleanup in the shower. I dislike it if the urge comes while I'm in the shower or immediately afterward; then it means that, no matter how well I wipe, my anus is not as clean as it was from the shower. But I must say, pooping naked feels nice.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I'm having a poop naked right now, whilst looking this up good to know there's others out there, nothing better that being naked having a poop, its so free

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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AC.....I poop naked most of the time but, the occasional white tie dump with caviar and champagne can fill the bill at times.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Distracted Debbie's picture
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Friday afternoon, after we ran a number of errands, I took my 5 year old Sara to the pool. I rent a locker there and use it as a reward for good behavior, etc. Well another mother from Sara's 1st grade called me over to her locker to show me an outfit when we were interrupted by her daughter who come running in saying that Sara's "pooing naked." Sure enough as I rounded the corner to where the line of toilets are, there's Sara sitting there swinging her legs and pooping naked. She didn't seem to mind at all.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Debbie, forgive my curiosity, but a locker as a reward for good behavior? Like how? Do you use it as kind of a carnival ride for little Sara...behave, young lady, and I'll toss you in this locker and shut it for ten minutes, and if you're extra good, I'll come back and get you out tomorrow?


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I read Debbie's philosophy as being if Little Sara behaves on other activities, a swimsuit, change of clothing, among other things, is kept in the locker so time can be saved in getting swimming time in without going back home first. My questions is why is Sara so accepting of the apparent doorless stall?

Stu's picture
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Naked only if I'm already naked, or just wearing underwear. A few times when I've been at the public pool, I've had to drop a load and just take off my trunks while crapping. Of course, I thoroughly clean up in the shower if I'm returning to the pool.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Yea, I don't get the locker as a reward either. Like, MSG, I don't like getting out of the bath to poop. I only poop naked if it is bath time as well. I don't care for poopping or sleeping naked as I get chilled while on the toilet or in the bed naked. I don't even like to be naked during sex because I chill easily.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I like to have my shirt off because if I dont i feel like the stink from the bowl wafts up and permeates my clothes. I would hate to come out of the bathroom smelling like shit.