Do you stand or sit when you wipe

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177 Comments on "Do you stand or sit when you wipe"

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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Thanks to Doniker for the poll idea.

Bobby's picture
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I thought you said Doinker

The Shit Volcano's picture
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I couldn't say I stand all the time because I have a bad back. But sitting wiping is a problem whenever I have a million wiper, especially if I ate carrots. If I sit and wipe during a million wiper the paper either gets stuck in my asscrack, poop smears on my hand, or both.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Logjam's picture
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TSV, you just never give us quite enough details.

Logjam

The Shit Volcano's picture
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Did I mention it had corn in it?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

An English gent's picture
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I normally sit whilst wiping, lifting my left buttock to get access to the arsehole. Generally, I sit upright to wipe, but sometimes I lean forward. I normally wipe from the rear, from front to back. Occasionally, for variety, I wipe from between my legs, from back to front. If I am confident that my arse is more or less clean when I start (no great chunks adhering) I will stand up to wipe. I then stand upright to attention; I do not lean forward with my bum sticking out behind me. I always use the paper in sheets of "three ply" and do not screw the paper up before applying it to the arsehole. Most of my friends sit to wipe. I have known three Germans who stood up, but two of them began by wiping from a sitting position,before standing up for the main wipe. I have an English friend who stands up. I had an English friend who raised his arse off the seat, put his head right down below his knees and wiped between his legs from back to front. I have an English friend who wipes both from behind and between his legs. He leans well forwward to wipe. I had a Polish friend who raised his arse well above the seat to wipe from behind, but did not stand up fully. I had a Korean friend who stood up really straight when he wiped. He also sat "to attention" when he evacuated and did not lean forward at all. Virtually all my other friends whose habits I know of remain seated to finish off the job, possibly raising one buttock, but often not moving the buttocks except to lean further forward, either pushing the paper down through the bum crack (back to front), or pulling it upwards (front to back).

Is there a preference for one technique over another amongst American men and teenagers? Perhaps Doniker can list the results of his survey.

Logjam's picture
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Dear English Gent. Can you please tell us how you came by all this detailed knowledge of your friends' wiping habits? I'm also curious about what you do for a living.

Logjam

Logjam's picture
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Oh, and by the way. You can see the current survey results by clicking on the "results" link just below the "Vote" button.

Logjam

doniker's picture
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I have never understood how someone can sit and wipe.

I've tried it...I just can't do it.

I have got to stand...

The Big Wiper's picture
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I prefer to stand and only sit when I am in a closed public stall that is very cramped and there is not enough room to stand. As I've posted several times before, I like to get a visual before I cover up with TP and flush. Part curiosity, part health practice.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

log_blogger's picture
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My girth prevents sitting while wiping. I think I'd have to take up Yoga. I like the sumo stance for wiping. Feet at 10 and 2, nicely triple-folded wad of ass-scratch and bend 1-2 wipe 1-2 FOLD bend 1-2 wipe 1-2 FOLD, inspect, flush or repeat.

www.mydailypoop.com

www.mydailypoop.com

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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My dad always solved the "girth" problem by not wiping. At least I suspect that's what he did. Maybe he forgot to wipe. He forgot everything else.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

hopkins81's picture
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I actually ran a similar poll to this on my blog, you might find it an interesting read!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I sit to wipe. It leaves your cheeks spread, giving easier access to the area :)

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Sit always... standing up is disgusting , sitting lets you stretch the butt cheeks far and make sure you can clean all the way inside your butt

Crouching Crapman's picture
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Sometimes I come up into a squat, sometimes I lean forward to elevate the crack to vertical... sometimes I do a courtesy flush to get rid of the turd, then I lift the seat, sink my ass in the bowl, and give it another flush so the swirling water can douche my butthole... kind of makes you gasp in winter, what with the cold water in the pipes and all, but boy does that make you appreciate a hot shower afterward!

Trained by Mom's picture
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I recently learned that a majority of friends from Latin American countries reach around and wipe from behind, where I was taught to go in from in front, and always sitting down. I tried to change my approach and just cant do it. Either my arms aren't long enough or my ass is too big to reach.

Fart Poopie's picture
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It's surprising to see the majority of votes going to stand wiping. I suppose it's because standing to wipe had never really occured to me as an efficient technique.

Guess we all just have different butts.
It reminds me of a story I saw years ago on Primer Impacto (a 'news' show on the spanish channel). A photographer was asking random people on the street if they would be willing to drop their pants for the sake of art. The result was hundreds of photos of people's butts... male and female, young and old, different colors and shapes... it left me convinced that butt prints are as unique as fingerprints.

It also made me realize that perverts could get away with a lot in the name of art.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Crouching Crapman wrote:"... sometimes I do a courtesy flush to get rid of the turd, then I lift the seat, sink my ass in the bowl, and give it another flush so the swirling water can douche my butthole..."

I must have missed this tidbit the first time around! Has anyone else tried this approach?

Fudgepump's picture
l 100+ points
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I'm with Doniker 100% on this one: I am now and have always been a standing wiper. Not a standing-at-attention posture, but a bent-at-the-waist position, with the left hand spreading the cheeks. I don't see how a sitting position could allow the same kind of clear access to the affected region that I have while standing.

Queen of Sharts's picture
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Ugh-- what the hell? I didn't know there were adults out there who stand while wiping! That's insane!
I guess I learned something today.


_______
Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

poop philospher's picture
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I think these guys who stand while wiping are doing it that way because that is the way mommie wiped their asses for them. They never got it figured out that to really wipe your ass clean, you need to be sitting. My partner wipes his ass standing and I've seen poop streaks on the towel bowl and skid marks in his shorts. I don't have these issues and I sit to wipe. Needless to say, I stay away from his poo-bottom.

JoeBeans's picture
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I thought I was the only one who wiped standing up. I'm U.S. male. This kid at wrestling practice, used to make fun of me for wiping standing up. He saw me do it from the stall.

My mom taught me to wipe putting my hand between my legs and wiping my cheeks. My wiener gets in the way. She used my sister as an example.

But I always conditioned myself to wipe standing up, checking to see if my ass is clean. In public stalls, people can't make fun of you for taking a dump when you wipe your ass standing up; It looks like your taking a pee pee.

Recently I tried wiping sitting down, (probably my fourth time in my life), and its like the toilet doesnt give enough room to stick your hand back there. I gotta crunch my balls against the toilet seat just to get my hand back there.

And while I'm coming out in the open. I was in the public restroom and I heard a guy wiping his ass; scrubbing with one piece of toilet paper. Theres no way in hell I'm wiping my ass a bunch of times with one piece of TP. Its one wipe and drop.

What The ?'s picture
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I am female and can only hope that men sit and wipe as opposed to standing to hear their own pooh plop in the bowl. What is wrong with you that you can't take a seat to wipe your bottom and not get pooh water on you and your clothes. I eat alot of bran and i have a very healthy "movement" every morning and i would hate to be dropping this "bomb" and be off my mark and thats not saying anything about wiping your arse. Gross.. I say sit down and SH*T like a MAN.. Good DAY...

Sitting is Gross's picture
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Sitting is so Gross. Aren't you afraid of accidently reaching down and touching the poo? GROSS

the log of hazzard's picture
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I was taught to wipe sitting down when I was potty trained, and I did it for a while. But when I turned 10, I had had a few pooping accidents in my pants and couldn't really sit down to take care if buisness. So I discovered how much more comfortable it is to wipe while standing. Now, it's natural.


_______
Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

Bilgepump's picture
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I drag my ass across the carpet....that is if the cat isn't readily available.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Oozy Doody's picture
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Sit up and lean. Left or right, matters not. If you are too fat to reach, just remember, 'fat people are harder to kidnap'. (a t-shirt in Mississippi, hee, hee). Standing up only smears the goo all over both cheeks. silly people.

None of my friends knows what an 'upper decker' is!

Fudgepump's picture
l 100+ points
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I always stand to wipe: the left hand grasps the left cheek and widens the gap, allowing the right hand easy access to the mud zone with a wad of bunched (NOT folded) paper. Note, Oozy: no smearage.
Last month in a public restroom, I encountered for the first and only time in my adult life a device even more insidious for standing wipers than the robo-flush: a SPRING-LOADED toilet seat that stood upright unless held down by my hand or my ass. WTF?! In a unisex restroom without a urinal...OK (I can hear the women cheering now), but a men's room? Gimme a break.
As a standing wiper, I can tell you there are many times when I have to stand and sit more than once before my delivery/cleanup is complete, and this "improvement" in toilet tech is an abomination. Also, guys, beware: this spring driven nightmare really throws off the split-second timing of The Move. Consider yourselves warned...!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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i stand to poop and wipe

turdfan's picture
l 100+ points
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I always sit, and had no idea anyone wiped while standing until I started reading "poopreport." I still can't figure out how you can stand and wipe without getting shit all over your crack and your cheeks.

poopiedoodles's picture
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My husband stands to wipe, and I never knew that some people did this either. It always seems so awkward to me. But I suppose that leaning forward to wipe, like I do, would cause major ball-squishage. Or you could be like my daughter and just not wipe, let it get all skidmarked outta there and just scrub a little extra in the bath. Of course, you'll also have to deal with that little lingering itch until you bathe.

Moy's picture
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I like to stand when I poo. I don't like sitting as I fear the water. My son also had the same fear, so I threw him down a well to try and cure it. Unfortunatly it only made things worse.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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As with others I assumed there was only one way to wipe until a few months ago when I heard a radio discussion on this important topic. I stand (of course - who doesn't?) but I think the importance of "getting a visual" before the wiping begins confirms the wisdom of this approach. And the term "million wiper" will now become one I use at every available opportunity. Thanks

Poops MgEE's picture
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I stand. I always felt weird because I thought people always sat. Hmmmm...

Layin' Low Linda's picture
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My high school's classes are being held in our district's old junior high building this year while our school is receiving a major renovation. Several things suck about us having to move for the year and one is the bathrooms. The stall partitions are only half as tall as we are use to, the plumbing is really old and leaks, and there's a couple of stalls in each bathroom that have the doors removed.

I'm 6'1' and even when I'm on the stool I'm very uncomfortable because there's very little space for my legs. I have my bm every morning during first hour class which is great because it's not so crowded. I have to wipe seated and even then the top of my head can be seen to those in the adjacent stalls. If I were to stand I could literally see what those on both sides of me were doing. Sometimes when I have a large poop, it takes two flushes to get it all down. That creates another problem because I have to stand and have my panties and jeans pretty much up to waist level so that two really horrible things don't happen: 1) I don't get splashed by the really wicked flushing system; 2) I don't leave myself vulnerable if the bowl clogs and overflows. That happened to the girl adjacent to my stall last week. She flushed while still on the stool, and it backed up on her and her underwear and shorts got soaked. She had to go home and change instead of going back to our Geometry class. It sucked so bad for her. I also got some of the water on my flip-flops while I was peeing and not paying attention.

The circumstances suck. I'm not wiping as thoroughly since I find it rather awkward to wipe while sitting. My mom has remarked that my underwear seems to have more stains as she puts it in the washing machine. My boyfriend also complains. They have no stall doors, but he only has to crap at least once a week. Last week he held it until after school and we stopped at my house. And we have almost a full school year left in our temporary school.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I recommend getting one of those travel size baby wipes and putting it in your purse. Using a moist wipe would take much of the work out of wiping, especially in cramped quarters.

Good luck!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

The Thunderous Crapper 63's picture
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Yes Wet Wipes are a godsend, use the tp first to get the big stuff then the Wet Wipe to get the residual dookie! I agree with ya Daph.
_______
The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)

Guffy's picture
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Finally, a discussion on the stand up/sit down question.

I have been a lifetime sitter/shitter/wiper but having seen the survey result tried to stand-up-and-wipe thing myself. If you'll pardon the pun, I got myself into all sorts of shit. In the name of everything sane, how can you possibly achieve a clean wipe using this method with only two arms? Maybe it's a communal thing? ("Hi darling, you spread tonight and I'll wipe....").

Please, a detailed tutorial is required!

Frosh Chick's picture
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I started my freshman year of college three weeks ago. In public places I had fallen into the habit of wiping while seated. However, at my university there are more than 20,000 students and in buildings such as the library, student union and fieldhouse, toilets are at a premium.

The lines form pretty fast. I find the sorority girls to be especially intolerant. I've found some of them to be extremely vocal (pounding on my door--"Hurry up please, I'm about to pee my pants!") or (peeking in between the partition and door with the expectation of seeing movement such as me getting off the stool--"I've been holding my crap for two hours while I finished my test and I'm ready to get sick".) Mentally, my response is SUCKS FOR YOU! My roommate, who is also an independent and annoyed about how they throw their weight around, came up with a brilliant idea. Stac gets up off the stool, wipes, flushes, and just as the girl gets ready to come into the stall and get seated, she sits back down. That really pisses the person waiting off because they have enivisioned themselves sitting down in a few seconds and relieving themselves, but they have to hold it and, with any smarts at all, look for another stall. Like Stac says, "Time is on our side"!. If they don't peak in and harass us,we quickly wipe while seated and pleasantly surprise them by opening the door and vacating. Both Stac and I were raised in small town and we believe in small town courtesies. It's just that under certain circumstances we find the need to wipe is a little longer and more laborious for us.

You can never be too sure and we do want to keep our panties clean!

Fudgepump's picture
l 100+ points
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Pre-packaged wet wipes are a great idea for public dumpatoria. In my apartment I just run a weak stream of water in the bathroom sink, and lightly moisten my bunched wad of TP. A pack of wet-ones might be a bit impractical for us gents to carry, however. That'd be the only drawback.

Vacancy Interrupted's picture
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Frosh Chick writes "Stac gets off the stool, wipes, flushes, and just as the girl gets ready to come into the stall and get seated, she sits back down." What a horrible psychological letdown for someone patiently--or impatiently waiting in a line--that's been closely monitoring how long they have to hold it and who has gotten her hopes up! I inadvertently did that yesterday at my college. I took my morning crap between classes in A & S Hall, and after standing, wiping and flushing, I felt a pee coming on since I had been consuming a Starbucks earlier that hour. I peed for no more than 20 seconds, wiped and then flushed, and I got an extremely evil eye from the girl that I had seen peek in on me twice. She even cursed as I brushed by her on my way to the sink.

I mentioned this last night to my boyfriend who is two years younger than me and a senior in high school. He said once last year he was ready to crap his pants, saw the guy get up and wipe, and was counting the seconds until he would be on the stool. The guy then suddenly sat down again and you could hear a whole new set of ploppings. My boyfriend ended up getting out of the line, going a few stalls down to an open stall that didn't have a door and had pee on the seat, but he was able to avoid an accident.

Although it can be really deceptive to those waiting in line who are hopeful and sometimes quite desparate, standing to wipe in a crowded public bathroom does get attention from those waiting for the next seat.

Concerned male's picture
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I don't understand what u gain from standing the cheeks close, it's wrong!!!

Lingering Heather's picture
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I stand and wipe when I'm at my apartment. However when I'm in a public place, I don't dare stand to wipe because that will throw the sensor off before I'm ready to vacate the stall. So I wipe while I remain seated. Sometimes while I'm wiping I will feel that another push is in order and I find that I'm not completely done. Also, sometimes after my crap I will also be able to pee a little, too. I guess I see it like Frosh Chick described in a posting above. It's better to keep my options open by staying down on the toilet rather than rearing up, triggering a flush, and then pissing off those waiting, by sitting back down.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I notice that most of the people who call those who don't use their technique "disgusting" or such and such are the sitters, standers seem to have a much more open and accepting attitude.

Me, I'm a stander, it just seems much easier that way. The couple of times I've tried it sitting it was just awkward, balancing on one ass cheek and rubbing the back of my hand against the toilet rim, just didn't see the point to it.

I don't get this contempt the sitters have for the standers, choose what ever works for you and celebrate diversity.

DISCO's picture
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Stander here. I tried sitting down and wiping once, and I don't see how you do it without your penis touching the toilet rim. From what I understand, you have to lean forward, and then my penis ends up touching the toilet rim, and there still isn't enough room for my hand to get in from the back without touching the toilet seat. Yeah, weird.

crapshead's picture
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i am a reformed stander, i successfully switched to sitting in my late 20's i'm a rather large male, and i use the 'left hand pulls the junk up and out of the way' method while wiping from the front.

i will pull off an appropriate mass of tp (the length of which depends on the thickness,) fold it back up on itself once, and hold the ends with three fingers in my left hand. then placing my first two right fingers in the bottom of the loop, i rotate my hands around each other until the tp is wound up into a nice little tube. replace my left fingers with my right thumb, dampen slightly with warm tap water, and wipe away. in public restrooms with no sink access, i dip the tp wad into the toilet water, after flushing first, of course! it may sound sickening and disgusting at first... but the sad fact is that freshly flushed american toilet water is cleaner than 75% of the world population's drinking water. and i really can't be putting anything worse back up there than what just came out, am i right?!?!?

Sheridan's picture
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I'm a graduate student and almost all of my bathroom stops are at various places on campus. Up until I started college, I would almost always in public places sit and wipe. The reason was that I would put toilet paper as a seat liner around the seat before sitting down, and if I was to stand and wipe, the paper would often fall off, and I would not be able to as readily sit back down if I felt like I had to release more shit or if I decided to take advantage of the break and also pee. Since I went away to college, however, I no longer cover the seats so I do stand and find that I am able to more effectively clean myself (and, yes, I take some pretty messy shits!). It also works better for me to stand since I'm not ramming my hand onto the front of the bowl or dragging some of the toilet paper wad so low that it skimming the water in the bowl. The drawback to standing, however, is that I have to reach down much lower to flush and sometimes if I don't have my glasses on and the stall is dimly lit, I may have to fumble at actually getting a good grip on the flusher lever. And sometimes, after fumbling with the flusher, I find that I'm not nimble enough to immediately disengage the door latch. I'll eventually get it open, but judging from the face of the person next in line, it's even more frustrating to them.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I sit to wipe, and I find that the seated posture spreads my cheeks well for good exposure to the toilet paper. After reading this thread, I decided to try standing to wipe after my early morning poop just now. I still did the first two passes seated, then stood both to look at my poop (large, somewhat soft, two distinct impulses) and to do this experiment of standing for the rest of the wiping. It did not work well. Even using my left hand to pull at one cheek, I did not get the separation I am used to, and the angle at which I applied the paper was different; further, the paper partly broke, likely from the unaccustomed angle of application. The final swipe, in which I cleanse the area with Noxzema, was at least partially successful, but I did not feel that I got the thoroughness of coverage that I am used to. I think I will return to the seated position. Interesting thread with varied viewpoints.

Gabi's picture
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When doing in on an ordinary toilet I usually stand halfway up hovering over the seat, but when doing it in a squat position as in the bushes I think I mostly also whipe when squatting.

poopie ass's picture
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I stand and wipe, rather have a rinse toilet the one that sprays water up on your ass crack !!

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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It is much easier for me to wipe standing up. My wife was amazed that I actually wipe in a standing position, I have seen her wipe herself when she was sitting down, and she had reccommended that I do it too. I tried it a couple of times, but it really doesn't work for me, because 1)it is awkward for me, and when I am on the toilet, I usually keep my pants up above my knees,(especially in a public restroom) and in doing so, my pants get in the way. That in itself makes it very difficult to wipe while sitting. 2) For health reasons, (my battle with IBS), I like to make sure there is nothing abnormal going on, so I visually inspect the product for a couple of seconds. Although, with that said, I wonder how shitake baby will wipe, once she is potty trained.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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I get up only long enough to look, let out a hollow, dejected sigh and wipe sitting down. I then flush while sitting, so I dont have to look at the mess again.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I have to get up to turn on the strobe light, activate the disco ball, then, as PD, sit and wipe, while the Brothers Gibb serenade me...

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

prarie doggin's picture
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I'm getting a disturbing visual. Make it go away.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
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I always sit, unless I find out there's no toilet paper on the holder, Then I have to stand and get some out of the cabinet above the toilet, so then as long as I'm standing up anyway I wipe standing.

So I guess with me it's either way.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Thank god we don't have to lick stamps anymore.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Why are there so many answers to this question (which i was honestly wondering about) and not anything else on the internet? There is definitely something wrong with this...

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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Because this is a website dedicated to the intellectual appreciation of poop humor. Where else would you expect to find such answers? Vogue? The New Yorker?


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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Lighten up Anonymous...What do you all think? Coward? Shameful shitter?

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Anonymous guy's picture
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Sitting down is just way too close to the imagined uncleanliness of the toilet/waste for my mild-OCD to cope with.

Standing is less efficient, but it doesn't threaten me with near panic attacks like the prospect of sitting does.

Bunga Din's picture
j 1000+ points
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I've mentioned this several times elsewhere, standing wiping is WRONG! As soon as you stand your cheeks move together, this is a physiological fact. This fact makes it harder to wipe properly without spreading poo particles all over the crack.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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yep, its much akin to making a peanut butter sammich

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

Sitting Wiper's picture
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The name I give myself obviously betrays my position. I'm surprised that I haven't contributed on this thread before.

Young kids at school talk about matters which older people are more discreet about, and my youngest lad was caught by his older brother wiping standing up. A lad in his class had been told by his dad that it was girlish to stay sitting down to wipe. (Perhaps this is a bit of sexism: that men only sit down as long as is absolutely necessary.) Our boy soon found that he didn't get himself as clean as when he remained seated to wipe.

I have tried it, and just can't do it.

Sitting Wiper's picture
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I looked up some child websites on this matter, and found that a mother was complaining that her eight-year-old son had been told by his father (from whom she was divorced) that boys should stand to wipe. He had started to do that - with dire results.

http://www.parentdish.com/2006/03/13/teaching-my-kids-how-to-wipe-their-bottoms-and-i-thought-potty/

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I lean. Most of my weight shifts to the left cheek. My right leg helps stabilized me. I come in from the side, avoiding the back of the toilet seat. I have no problem with my cock and balls hitting the front because I don't move forward, I only lean to the side. Another random thought, I can't stand the small toilet seats found everywhere. I prefer the longer toilet seats with the opening in the front, as found in public places.

Standing proud's picture
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Stander here. A lot of you sitters have real issues with diversity. By the way, there should be no poop to mash together in your butt cheeks when you stand up to wipe. If so, it means you aren't done shitting!!! Spreading the left cheek with the left hand gives full access with touching the nasty toilet seat, penis touching the seat, getting your hand in the water, etc.

Holy shit's picture
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I'm a stander and I have wondered for years whether I was doing it right. Meant to Google the question for quite some time now but never got around to it. When I finally did so today, I found this blog that tells me there is no right or wrong way, it all depends on personal preference and technique. What a relief!!! And by the way, all you folks who sit to wipe are fucked in the head!

Sitting Monk's picture
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I am a sitter and like many of you, I tried the alternative after reading this interesting poll. My biggest problem was a. not looking kinda silly standing there wiping my ass, when you sit at the throne, you've gotta sit the whole thing through. b. When you are standing, if you have made a big mess of yourself as the cheeks get closer to each other, things can go awfully wrong, and take a million wiper to a "oh god I need a shower". When sitting down your cheeks are inherently separated, giving you easier access to the butt crack in question. Also if you happen to enjoy a hairy ass, when you close your cheeks when you stand up again everything can just go to hell.

It feels that the only way to maintain healthy habits when wiping standing up is by assuming a position that recreates that of sitting down, so you are kneeling forward, with your ass sticking out so it looks like you are sitting on a high chair that is tilted forward. I guess then you might as well sit.

For those with girth problems, just use the lateral access, lean to the side and your hand will dutifully clean your arse.

Naked squater's picture
0
0

How can people sit wiping?! I tried it when i saw this post and it is so hard to clean yourself sitting. My mom sits while wiping and I dont know how she dos it! I have even seen her shit while pregnant and she somehow manages to get bach there.

Mr standyupper's picture
0
0

I cant believe how much this is debated on the net, surely this must be due to boredom.
Just bear in mind that when you shift your weight to one side on the bowl, you are seriously increasing the stresses on the bowl & fittings. This is why some time you go to the loo & its loose & rocks. Standing does not mean that your ass cheeks slam together like a pair of cream cakes making a mess, you have to learn to hold em open, in fact learn to poop properly in the first place.

Sitting down is so fraught with opportunities to get mess everywhere, on your hands, your sleeves (just think where it has been next time you wipe your nose on your sleeve to get to an itch). And for women to wipe from back to front is also very likely to increase the risk of cross infection.

Get a life, wipe how your comfortable with.
next you'll be asking if you have your paper close to the wall or over the front of the roll?

ROFLMAO.

MUM!....mum, can you come & wipe my bum, I poo'd again..... :-)

Stand Up for Standers's picture
0
0

I always stood up, and figured it was just the correct way to do things. Then one day I started to wonder why the TP was so low to the ground! You have to bend down every time you need some more! Then I started to realize that people next to me don't tend to shift their feet, as though they were sitting the whole time. It then occurred to me that there must be two breeds of people; standers and sitters. I turned to the internet for a thorough discussion on the topic, and luckily found this thread.

I have since tried sitting, and it sucks.

Mr M Shields's picture
0
0

I have to stand as my bucket is none too steady, always loose like so it's no trouble.

LOLCATZZZ's picture
0
0

I always stand. ALWAYS.

Mrs. Mad Crapper's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
0
0

Thanks to Bilge I will never eat peanut butter again.I think standing is wrong, I mean what if someone busted in on you and your all hunched over whilst standing, wiping your ass and trying to coax your cheeks apart. No Thank You.

Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Mrs. Mad Crapper.......If someone busts in on me while I am doing a standing wipe I merely hand them the roll of paper and
let them do the job for me. This works very well as it leaves me with both hands to spread my massive cheeks. If they do not seem to be doing a good job I release my cheeks and they are trapped as effectively as a bear in a trap


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Mr. Dirty Butt's picture
0
0

I sit. Why stand when you can sit.

I also prefer someone else do it for me, but I have yet to find that person.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Note to self: NEVER EVER bust in on the Chief while he is in the bathroom.

 clever thinker's picture
0
0

I stand when I wipe my ass and feel that bending a little at the waist is best. I wiper from front to back to make sure everything is clean and then wipe back to front just to make sure there is no more shit buildup. I think that this hybrid of both ideas is the best.

Also for all the people that stand and wipe and hate the sensored toilets, just put toilet paper to block the sensor and you can stand without the toilet flushing! Amazing right?

Standing Chick's picture
0
0

I only realized a few years ago that some people sit to wipe! My roomy and me shared everything (yes, even our trips to the bathroom)... so that's how I found out about sitters and standers. It never dawned on me that people sit to wipe (front and back) until I felt uncomfortably awkward when she asked me what I was doing when I got up from the throne to wipe.... talk about embarrassing! I tried to wipe sitting down after I found out, but it's just uncomfortable, impractical (to me), and weird. Standing is definitely the way to go for me. I especially like it when there's a large mirror around so you can not only check to see what you look like clothed, but to make sure you got everything off your bum! Is that weird? Hmmmmm

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

i use my left hand when dealing with personal shit. use the reaching my right hand to others

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I generally remove the cover from the tank, placing it across the seat. Then, while grasping the towelbar on the left and the vanity counter on the right, I swing myself upwards so that my feet are now on the tank cover and my ass is hovering over the tank. By removing the fill hose from the ball cock and flushing, i'm able to create an impromptu bidet. The jet of water is generally more than sufficient to remove all traces of shit from my ass, and any cling-ons end up in the tank. A second flush purges the tank contents to the bowl, and we're good to go without a single sheet of paper.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

Wow, I'm so glad this poll popped up again. This was the poll that helped me find poop report and I was glad to find out I'm not alone with standing up to wipe my ass. Funny thing was, I was telling my mom about this poll and she couldn't believe I still stood to wipe my ass. I was like, "well that's how you taught me." And her response was that's the only way she could do it and asked if I still put my forehead to the ground and sick my butt straight up in the air (the answer is no). I just can't wrap my mind around piping sitting down. How do you not get your hand in the water?

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

You bring up a good point LBK. How do we come about wiping the way we do? I'm sure (like you) it's taught to us by our parents when we potty train. Back in my day, we didn't have potty training toilets, so you had to stand and wipe or risk falling into the bowl. I'm not sure where I learned to be a sitting wiper, and maybe such things are best not known.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

This poll seems to be based on the assumption that everyone wipes.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Worse than the non-wiper is the deceiptful wiper. One who unrolls some tp and wipes it against his leg or something, then drops it in the bowl and flushes. Or worse still just spins the tp roller and leaves dirty assed.

Not that I would know anything about this first hand or anything...

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Both the non-wiper and the deceitful wiper can be identified later because they will both become itchy butt scratchers.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Damn, all this talk about standing, sitting, wiping, non-wiping has got me all confused. I think I just wiped my navel.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Confusion reigns supreme, I just took out a hanky and blew my ass.
_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Girl's picture
0
0

I used to sit while wiping, and then after developing some weird digestive issues, I became a stander. Since I cycle through months where I have the runs more often than not (and sometimes of the errr, explosive persuasion), I just feel much safer standing up and having room to reach so I don't get diarrhea smeared all over my hand.

Dizzy Diane's picture
0
0

I'm 19 and in college. In my dorm room, I stand to wipe. However, when I'm in a public bathroom or elsewhere on campus, I remain seated. The reason is that I put toilet paper on the seat before sitting on it and sometimes when I crap, I start to wipe too soon only to find that I have additional pieces to drop. Then it's a matter of repositioning the tissue if it hasn't already dropped to the floor. Also, when I'm in our science building (where I have two, 5-hour labs each week)the toilets are as old as the building and some of the seats are very loose. I initially sit down very gingerly because you can feel the seat move so much it almost makes you dizzy. I worry that any additional movement might be too much for the creaky seat to handle.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

I still sit; tried standing again a couple of weeks ago and, again, didn't like it at all: no good exposure of the anus to the paper, uncomfortable position, etc. I'll stay seated while wiping.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

MSG, I went even further and tried wiping while standing on my head. I'll also be sitting from now on, just as soon as the injuries heal.

Leaky Bowel King's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

If ya can't wipe standing up, it's because you aren't doing it right. You don't stand straight up. You gotta have a lil bend in your knees, pop you're butt out, and when you reach around it spreads everything out and gives perfect exposure. Or you can out you're forehead to the wall and have someone else do it for you. Whatever toots your fantsy. Just be careful not to drip on your pants if you have diarrhea.

Teena's picture
0
0

I find it amazing that in this day and age a few people are still afraid to sit on a toilet seat in a college classroom building. The wiping paper needed by how many ... perhaps two or three persons ... is being wasted so that one person's butt doesn't have contact with a toilet seat, and a loose one at that.

At my college if every user were to insist on lining the seat and if 10 or 15 persons an hour were to use the stall, the toilet paper roll would be depleted at least once an hour.

On another thread, there's criticism of Sheryl Crow's campaign to save toilet paper and to have each user economize by using one small sheet per sitting. What does our favorite artist do when she's out in public and has to use the toilet? Sit right down, I bet!

Crap-Master's picture
0
0

I'm a stander all the way and have experimented multiple times with different techniques. When I sit down to drop a log I take my time...I also generally make sure I get plenty of fiber in my diet which cuts down on the shitmess and allows for a clean break. I do the business gently and let it take its time and there's generally not anything up there to "mash in" by standing up.

I then stand and bend over, using one hand to further spread the left cheek. When I'm at home, which I usually am, I wipe several times with a dry wad of TP and then switch to TP that has been run under a small trickle from the faucet until TP comes up clean.

For those particularly messy shits, I'll even put a drop of hand soap on the TP every several wipes and spread it around before wiping to ensure maximum cleaning effectiveness with minimum abrasion to my poor soft bunghole.

I use public restrooms only in situations of extreme poo-mergency. There have been studies done on those...do you have any idea how much fecal matter is spread all over the stall, too microscopic to see by the human eye? The super-strong flushers on most public toilets only aggravate the problem. Screw that...I have enough control of myself that I can hold it when needed.

Also, another comment that I so far haven't seen in this thread...most civilized countries in the world now use a bidet in bathrooms...the US is one of the few countries that doesn't do this. I think that's just mistake due to bad communication. Nothing cleans the asshole like a good ol' bidet...I'd install one on my own house if I wasn't renting and moving constantly.

Self Taught's picture
0
0

I am a stander but i do it entirely differet. I sit down to poop but stand up to wipe. But i don't just stand there. I face away from the toilet with my left foot planted firmly on the ground and my right foot on my wall mounted toilet paper holder. I then lean against my right leg. This position allows the cheeks to spread open and i can reach the toilet paper easily and my left hand is free to fold toilet paper.
levels of wiping
3tp-left over hanging poop
3tp-poop on the outside of crack
3tp-the first hard bone flat surface area
2tp/3tp-start getting to the source of the hole
2tp-where you can't go any further

realripsnorter's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

I do a combination wipe, the first 4 passes are performed while sitting,which allows access to the spot, if relatively clean at that point, I will stand, flush and follow up with several staning wipes while still bent over and not yet allowing cheeks to close- this ensures that all the schrapnel is removed from the remainder of the crack. Then anither flush or two to make sur there are no surprises should I have to return in a hurry for the "groundhog shit"

It's O.K., We just have to smell it; He's got to sit in it!

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
0
0

In my opinion, sitting is the most comfortable way to wipe.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

To get the proper leverage and angle, one simply must stand. Compare this to any other activity that requires maneuverability and finesse--surgeons stand, gymnasts stand, baseball, basketball, soccer, football, figure skating... the list goes on.

Further, having to thread one's wiping hand through toilet seat and body, taking care not to hit the water and/or poo and to keep your genitalia off of a public piss and shit receptacle... how can you expect a good wipe that way?

If you're serious about leaving the stall with a clean hole, you get your lazy ass off the seat so that you can gain unhindered access to the anus.

malleebull's picture
0
0

Wipe? WIPE??
How disgusting... smearing shit around your arsehole. It's impossible to get it all. Adopt more civilised ways and WASH your nether regions after defecating.
Filthy bastards.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Last time I tried sitting to wipe I leaned on my left cheek to reach back there when one of the screws holding the seat in place broke. I'm not a big guy really, I weigh about 190 so it was pretty shocking. When the seat shifted violently after the screw broke, I came about an inch or so from accidentally castrating myself. I always was a stander, and will continue to be as a result.

Just a friendly word of warning.

Sit Down & Shut Up's picture
0
0

My husband stands up to wipe, and it's discusting. I do the mans laundry and there's not a pair of (his) undies in the house w/ out signs of poor wiping skills. I where thongs and don't have this problem. So I say have a seat.

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
0
0


I once again tried to wipe sitting, and once again, it didn't work for me. Happy to say, I still stand when i wipe, and if I still have to poop some more while i am wiping (happens frequently, due to the IBS) i have no qualms about sitting right back down for another wave...

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

20 yr old poop guy's picture
0
0

I think when I was younger I most definitely wiped while sitting down. although I'm sure I didn't wipe thoroughly. now that I'm older I found that standing works better for me. something about reaching down above the bowl to wipe freaks me out. might be a cleanliness thing. and when I wipe, I make sure nothing shows on that toilet paper. of course I try to use my squares sparingly. I also close the lid/seat with my feet and flush with my toe haha. clean freak I said.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Sit Down & Shut Up....I think your hubby is just a poor ass wiper. I have been a "stander" for years and have been able to maintain a pristine butthole and unstained undies. Give me your address and I will happily mail you a pair of my massive boxers, worn for several days, for inspection. Your husband will be greatly chagrined when he sees them.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Why is there never a "squat" option on these? I always squat down next to the toilet and wipe with moistened paper... Not only can you get much cleaner that way, but you preserve your knee/hip flexibility as well. (note: This technique can't be done in public bathrooms, due to the lack of proper walls.)

And yeah, moist paper is essential. I mean, imagine trying to get chocolate syrup off your hands with just a dry napkin. You'd still be sticky and chocolaty after several scrubs. Ewww...

After reading these ass-wiping polls... I think America needs an upgrade in ass maintenance education o_O

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

It is easier to shoot the wad of used TP from 3 point range if standing !

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

When I moisten the tissue to wipe, I get rubbed raw. I prefer the three step wipe:dry tissue wipe first, wet wipe wipe second and dry tissue wipe LAST. CHECK FOR DINGLEBERRY THEN PULL UP PANTS.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

My mom taught me's picture
0
0

I always sit while wiping, and I go in from the front, between the legs. I always hear people say that they're junk gets in the way, but I've never had this problem, maybe I'm just small. I could never wipe while standing either, or wipe any other way than from the front. I just can't do it, I never get a good wipe.

Also, as a side note, I always take a look at the tp after I have wiped so I know how clean my ass is after each wipe.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

My mom taught me......When you get older and your balls hang lower you will learn to wipe from the back.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Poothagoras's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

I honestly can't picture standing- How do you not squish the poop into your crack??
I access from the rear, and carefully go from back to front (I have a major phobia of poopcrack).

Oh, and My mom taught me, I, too, am a paper-checker. And a folder. All of that OCD put to work.
Fortunately the short attention span never interferes.
_______
Every poop is not to be told to every body.

Every poop is not to be told to every body.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Chief....that was beautiful. That's a hit country song if I ever heard one. Even the title..."When Your Balls Hang Lower".

Tiny Michael's picture
0
0

I agree with Poothagoras, who says he can't picture standing to wipe. On his profile he says:

"One of the most important and meaningful habits/rituals/daily events in my life is POOPING. It is one of the things that I look forward to no matter what is happening, and one of the first things to affect my well being when it doesn't happen according to the usual experience."

On most occasions in life I have enjoyed my bowel movements. I never have looked upon it as a chore. Unlike most people, who learn from their mums, I learned the whole process from other boys - my own older brother and his best friend. They always remained seated to wipe. (Be it noted, that my mum didn't EXPECT my brother to do this; he WANTED to be involved in my upbringing, and this is one of the things that he did. We didn't have parents who absolved themselves of their responsibilities, and we are a close and happy family.)
Those few precious minutes each morning after breakfast are 'me-time', when I can relax and unwind. I can always relax better sitting down, and the wiping process is part of the enjoyment - not a chore.
I am very surprised to find that there are more STANDERS than SITTERS.
I've tried standing to wipe, without success. In life's routines, we all learn what works best for ourselves as individuals. I don't envisage a new commandment which says 'Thou shalt not stand (or sit) to wipe thy bottom.' On anonymous websites such as PoopReport, we can discuss problems without embarrassment.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

I have read a bunch of these, and I still cannot understand why anyone wouldn't stand!?!?!

It's easier, you have more room, and get better, cleaner results. What else is there to say1!?!?

Why would you remain sitting???

KR's picture
0
0

WOW!!!

I heard the today on Morning Radio that some guys actually Stood while Wiping. I couldn't believe it. I never heard of such a thing.

Then one of the 7 on the radio admitted he always Stood and never knew others Sat while Wiping. The girl in the group, who sits, was the only one that reached between her legs to wipe her butt. AMAZING !!!

Those that Stand and reach between their legs HAVE to occasionally have poop drop into their hand !!!

All those that Stand have to drop the paper into the bowl and occasionally must miss the bowl and drop the paper and poop on the floor.

Learn to Sit like the rest of us, your butt is already above the bowl and ready for wiping and dropping the paper.

Cut Mommy's Apron strings and Man-Up.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
0
0

Dear KR.....WOW....the world is a wonderful and diverse place. I have been wiping from a standing position for about 50 years and have never dropped the poop smeared paper on the floor. Come on down (or up) to Tennessee and I will cordially invite you into my bathroom for a demo. Bring your own gas mask!! Refreshments served on weekends only.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Jimdandy's picture
0
0

WIPE. Nobody told me to wipe! So that paper on the wall isn't for sketching. You learn something new every day.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

There are guys who sit and wipe??? wtf!!!
How the hell can you reach your ass when you sit on the bowl??? the front passage is blocked by your penis and the back is way too narrow to put your hands in there!

And all this bs about your cheeks clenching togheter when you stand up and smear the poo over your butt everywhere... ???

What kind of weird poo doy uo guys have that its all super smeary like that, seriously go see a doctor. Half the time i wipe and theres nothing to wipe. sometimes a little but nothing to 'smear' all over my butt wtf.

And even if you have a messy poo (i never), your gonna wipe standing till your paper returns white after a wipe so i don't see how their remains poo after a wipe ever...

and now i qoute this lunatic guy
"Those that Stand and reach between their legs HAVE to occasionally have poop drop into their hand !!!

All those that Stand have to drop the paper into the bowl and occasionally must miss the bowl and drop the paper and poop on the floor."

poo drop in my hand? wtf is your poo liquid or something... and you are wiping with paper right? not your hands.

and we don't throw the poo while standing in a basketball motion, you lean over the bowl a bit and put it in, not throw it lol...

Weirdo sitters! (females can reach it by the front i guess....)
seriously if you sit how do you know if you wipe if there is still poo on the paper... you wipe pull your hand back out of under you and look at it just to shove your hand back behind you in the toilet? lol

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Standers are crazy.

it's called LEANING when sitting.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
0
0

This battle is still so intense. I foresee the necessity of a national meeting or convention to exchange all points of view, probably after a major competition among eligible cities as to where the meeting should be held. There would be demonstrations of technique, both in person and on film; there would be learned papers presented to assembled attendees. I'm not sure I'd have the nerve to attend, but I would surely read the reports.

Any nominations for the lucky convention site?

IBS NO MORE's picture
k 500+ points
0
0

Can't we all just get along?

Everyone does things differently... the fun part is finding out the differences. A silly poll shouldn't turn us against each other. Sheesh.

For the record, I chose Hover because it's more of a stooping than standing position for me.

Also interesting to note, I grew up being a leaner/sitter but then later became a stander/stooper in response to IBS-D. So maybe how our wiping habits evolve can be from both nurture and nature.

Now that I have normal poop again, I've tried sitting again but went back to stooping because I feel cleaner afterward with less wiping. Maybe this will help all the sitters understand why we stand.

Bottom line: sit, stand, hover... makes no difference. The most important thing is that you do wipe, and wipe effectively :)

_______
Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

When you say the word “poop,” your mouth makes the same motion your butthole does when pooping…
The same can be said for the phrase “explosive diarrhea.”

Man..'s picture
0
0

I would like to add.. i am pleased this site exists for people to really get an idea of the variety of poop techniques. I have always been a sitter but might try and standing finish, variety is always good! What I do object to is firstly toilets where you absolutely have to slide forwards or backwards as not too land one on the slopes.. Do we not all have arseholes in the same place.. do we really project different trajectories (only in severe circumstances). This point in particularly compounded for the gents who like myself might experience the willy tip touch (directly due to bad toilet design again... which is just dirty and then needs a clean!

Stander's picture
0
0

I stand. I don't remember exactly how I was taught to do it but I'm pretty sure I was taught to do it sitting. I just rebelled against my parents because I never thought I could get clean enough sitting. I've read quite a few sitters' comments saying standers can't possibly get clean enough. And that is oh so wrong. I assure I never have skid marks.

One day years ago I suddenly started to wonder about whether standing was normal and kinda got self-concious about it so I looked it up and I guess it's not uncommon at all.

I don't necessarily stand up straight... But I definitely don't just kinda hover either. I don't think I could do that because I have bad knees.

BUTT... haha... No seriously... But, I decided to try sitting a couple of times just for the heck of it. I never thought to go in from behind. I might have to try that... I went from between the legs and my junk always seemed to get in the way and I didn't feel like I could really wipe to my full potential. Haha.

So there you have it.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Do not try to stand up to wipe your butt when the floor is wet! !0!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

Curling up in the fetal position on the floor seems to work quite well for me.
I may be in the minority on this.

stand is grand's picture
0
0

I was taught to wipe while sitting when I was a kid(by my mom) as soon as I hit puberty it was obvious my penis blocked the access portal through the front, so to assure cleanliness the only way for men to wipe is by standing. there should be a man vs women poll.

Whitey's picture
0
0

Do i look like a minority to you?

Anonymous Coward :)'s picture
0
0

wow, i never realised people sat whilst wiping, how do u get ur hand in there?, also didn't know people put thier hands through thier legs from the front, don't ur balls get in the way? i've always stood, pulled my left cheek out the way so i've got full access and wiped my ass, never had any dirty marks on my boxers, ever. And my mum's ocd about stuff like that, she spends like 5 mins washing her hands, she has bad IBS and spends hours a day in the loo though, so she probebly needs to. but because of my mum's ibs she uses wipes, which are always in the loo, and so i've always used them, which may be why. but when i do use paper my method works fine aswell, just open ur ass by the left cheak, clean the area around ur anus, and then clean ur anus till the paper comes off clean.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
0
0

AC, at my age, it's easy. I just fling my balls over my shoulder and wipe away, but that may be more information than you wanted.

ChiliKahKah's picture
j 1000+ points
0
0

It is best to stand and then when finished, do a twist and shout.

Blackmantis's picture
0
0

I can't sit and lean forward to wipe, as I'm a guy in a country that doesn't have elongated toilets (Australia), so in order to avoid contact with a hairy/dirty/cold porcelain bowl and my junk, I have to stand up/hover.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
0

Does anybody feel like standing and wiping is dirty because of the pieces of to that could fall on your leg? Maybe that's just me... I uses to stand and wipe btw, but now sit.

Anonymous Coward's picture
0
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I stand, and to all the sitters out there, no pieces of poo ever fall down. For anyone curious, my reason for standing is as follows:

First off, I start with about 10-12 sheets, and fold the first three for thickness. then I wipe, check the paper and fold over the poo and wipe again, repeating this until the paper no longer shows any poo.

this system simply cannot work while sitting, the paper would get in the water, I could smear poo off the paper when taking it out to check, etc. etc.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I still sit to wipe, but yesterday had an unusual experience. Sometimes I wear an apron with pockets for certain outdoor work; the garment ties in back with a drawstring. I had just gotten all gussied up with the apron and started work outside on my project when I noticed that I had to poop. I didn't want to go to all the work of finding the knot behind me, untying it, bringing the string around front and retying it to prevent the weight in the pockets from pulling the drawstring all the way out, taking the apron off, and having to redo the whole tying process once I was done. So I simply dropped trou and sat with the apron still on. As I sat, I noticed a tickling in my crack; of course, it was an end of the drawstring, hanging straight down my back. Since I was just starting my b.m., I had to reach back behind me and pull the drawstring out of the way so as not to get poop on it. I didn't take long to poop, so holding the string out of the way was not a long inconvenience; but I still also had to keep it away while wiping, which was a little harder to do. Nonetheless, I was successful: b.m. and wiping complete, nothing on the drawstring.

Tiny Michael's picture
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I wrote something on this thread on 20 November of last year. When teaching his own little boy by example the skills which he taught me over 20 years ago, my brother looked on various websites, and on one forum, a dad told his small son to wipe standing up. Sitting on the toilet was unmanly, something which girls did. Boys should only sit on the toilet long enough to deliver the goods, and when they have finished, they should immediately stand up to wipe.
How daft! How can any of us forget that we are males when the physical symbol of our manhood is there in front of us as we sit?
That dad’s idea about gender-specific toilet positions would be at home on the website of the fictional Landover Baptist Church. Or is Landover fictional? Some such ideas go with Christian fundamentalism? (Our family and many of our friends are liberal Christians)

shitake boy's picture
l 100+ points
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I have recently begun to wipe while sitting, this might have something to do with my weight loss, I am finding it easier and easier to wipe wile sitting down, and if another bm wave comes on, I am already seated. Also wiping while sitting has enabled a more complete wiping experience, and cleaner in the end. There are still times when I still need to stand to wipe, but those are growing fewer and farther between.

_______
In search of the ever evasive BM

In search of the ever evasive BM

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Hi All - I am a sitter, pooping and wiping, while my husband is a sitter pooper and a standing wiper. I have done it 'my' way ever since I was young and so has my husband, and that's ok. But, recently we've ran into problems - we're aging... he's just past the half-century mark and I'm fast approching, again, that's not the problem... the problem is... my dear husband now leaves poo on the toliet seat, on the floor, on the bathroom rugs... dropping it from his bum... he is oblivious to it and says it isn't him... he is the only one in the house... our kids are gown, graduated university and moved away already! I know I've hurt his feelings - Any (real) suggestions for avoiding the 'drop'? Thanks

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Just tell him kindly, JESSUS EFFIN CHRIST, YOU'RE SHITTING ALL OVER THE HOUSE. EITHER START WEARING A DIAPER OR I'M GONNA BUILD AN OUTHOUSE SO YOU CAN CARPET BOMB THE LAWN INSTEAD.
Then make him a nice dinner.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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AC..he's either experiencing momentary lapses of reason, convenient amnesia, a sudden need to mark territories, or showing signs of Alzheimer's...

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.