Ummmmm.... is there really anyone out there who does it from back to front? Maybe us gals are the only ones with a problem doing that.... but it would seem the men would swish their noogins in the process??? What do you guys think?

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

You'd be surprised, shitwit. I seem to remember a similar poll or discussion a while back... a few guys said they prefered back to front. I'll have to go and dig up that thread.

I wipe behind the bottom front to back. It's more of a pulling motion that way, and it feels more controllable than the pushing motion one would use if wiping front to back through the legs.

I also have to say, shitwit, that I'm a little disturbed by your comment. I would really hope that none of us gals have a problem remembering to wipe front to back, though I suppose there are some rather nasty people out there...

Remember, girls:

poo germs + vagina = infection

Here's the thread.

Front to back- unless you enjoy having maggots in your hoohoo...

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Don't be playin' with the Queen of Sharts

You know, I couldn't really vote in this pole because my method was not on it. I always do this in the same style.
Step One- Wipe your asshole front to back. AWAY from the pussy!
Step Two- Wipe your pisshole back to front. AWAY from the pussy!
When I was a kid I was always taught to wipe front to back but it never made sense to me. That meant I ended up with piss in my pussy, which is just as gross as poo. I'd rather not have a pissy smelling pussy, thank you very much.

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

I actually know a friend that does wipe from back to front and because of this she has ended up having E-coli in her vagina which I think is a lesson for us all!!

I usually go between my legs, back to front.

The through your legs in a circular motion, sounds like a wiping system, used by Ringling Brother's circus.
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I am winter's hurricane, I am the great blizzard of 1899, and no body shall be exempt from my wrath.

Thanks for the thread, FP! I remember reading that one too.

TSV- a "pissy smelling pussy" - that's hilarious! I know exactly what you mean!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I have some practical questions for those who wipe between the legs, from front to back. For instance:
1. Have you ever fallen face first off the front of the toilet?
2. Have you had many instances of the up the back butt skids? (when you wipe too forcefully and you end up skidding the remainder of the poo you're trying to wipe away onto the lower part of your back).

Just wondering.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

Never discount the circular motion healthy one, the moderators seem to approve of it's efficacy as seen here.

Great comment! +1 point
Bunga Din (941) -- 08.17.2006

I had a severely broken arm as a five year old and learned early on to write and wipe with both hands, but recently I've discovered something even better. You know those big spinning tops infants get, the ones with the big plunger on the top that you press down to get it spinning? Well, I put a slightly moistened towelette on the end, get that top moving at about 35,000rpm and then squat over it, not only is my ass wiped but it's buffed and shines like a diamond, and if I'm really lucky next time I go to crap that top'll still be spinning.

Once again, my answer isn't included...I grab the cat by the scruff of the neck, curl the tail underneath, reach behind, with said cat, while reaching between with empty hand (cupping the sack, avoiding the vasectomy), and vigorously, agitate back and forth. Pull the animal away, for visual examination, turn it over, and repeat. Apply a "swirly" or two as necessary, to the cat, to clean, and allow to air dry for next time.

How do you keep the cat from biting you?

Why would it want to bite me? Its serving its purpose, it is merely doing what God put it here on earth for. What a silly question.

well....to be totaly honest i wipe front to back then back to front just to make sure.....

Hilarous comment Bilgepump, and a great idea! A cat is good for something after all. I'll have to try that with my girlfriends cat when I'm over her place next time.

My friends and I speak of poop often. Now I can tell them I found this site. I never knew so many people talk about the same stuff. This is odd. And I prefer the wiping front to back thing...

Back to front is my way. I think it's something one learns early in childhood by doing whatever feels right to you. I guess if I were a chick I probably would do the reverse too.

The only time I get shit on my boys is from blowback/splashback from the bowl. That usually changes the whole game.

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

I've seen it done between the legs back to front. Tried it once. WTF? Totally doesn't work for me. The access is closer the back way, and, going front to back, i don't smear dung on my scrotum.
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Happy crapping! (_o_)

circular motion much like an orbital sander

i wipe back to front, between my legs. being a man removes the fear of infection. reaching between my legs also keeps my shirt, jacket and whatever else i am wearing out of the way so that it does not get used instead of the TP or smeared by it.
men have it so much easier in life than women.

I've never had a problem pulling my garments aside, to keep them out of shit's way. Usually i just bunch up the front to take up the slack.

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Happy crapping! (_o_)

Uhhh...I always do it from the side. I just put my left leg up on the seat and reach my arm down between the calf and thigh, and wipe that way. Being a dude I've got the fishing rod & tackle up front to get in the way and I had a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone removed, so my upper asscrack was an open wound for about 6 months. Only problem is that in public I've got to take my left leg out of my pants.

I wipe from back to front, between my legs. Also, I used to always wipe just as soon as I dropped my last turd, but over the last several months, I've started having a problem with my butt-hole staying in the semi- open position for a few minutes after the last one drops. So, I have to wait for it to shut before I wipe. Anyone else experience that?

I can't believe there are so many back-to-fronters! That is just vile.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

I'm a female. I wipe through the legs, back to front. I used to wipe behind the ass, front to back, but when I was 11 and started my period, I found it soooo much easier to wipe up the mess from the front. So I've used the style ever since. I've never had a problem with getting poop in my lady bits. When I poop and have to wipe my ass, I wipe back to front, but OUT, not along my pussy. Does that make sense? Oh and I've never had any type of vaginal infection. After I wipe my ass, I wipe my peehole and surrounding area to make sure it's clean and dry and I never find any poop on the paper.

Lift right cheek, front to back. Repeat as necessary.

Fudge's Wiping Technique:
1) Stand, bent at ~45 degree angle at waist
2) Left hand grabs left cheek - minor "spreading" action for better port access
3) Right hand prepares bunched wad of TP
4) Wiping occurs taint-to-ring
5) Inspect TP
6) Repeat as required
[NOTE; if spackling occurs, slightly moistened TP wad is used after 2nd/3rd dry wipe...followed by final dry wipe]
(Technique copyrighted 2005/Fudgepump&Co, LLC)

I take 4 sheets, fold into 1, reach behind, and wipe _across_ the anus, getting a thick smear of poop. I fold the paper again, now having a half-width, reach behind, and wipe sort of front-to-back; much less smear. I get another 4 sheets, fold into one, and repeat the process; by the half-width wipe, for which I often moisten the paper either with spit or from the tap (a few drops), there's not much left. I get 3 sheets, fold into one, and wipe with a circular motion; usually not much to see by this time. Then I fold into a half-width, dab on a dab of Noxzema, and cleanse the anus, including sending the paper up into the hole with my finger a time or two; the Noxzema feels cool and good, and my poop-chute feels clean.

My wiping technique depends on which poop of the day the event happens to be. For the Good Morning Poop that invariably takes place twenty minutes after awakening, a rudimentary series of front-to-back wipes is sufficient since the next stop is the shower where all remaining pooplets, toilet paper shreds and general ass-crack lint are washed away forever. For poops that happen after showering, the Mid-Afternoon Poop and the Early-Evening/After-Dinner Poop come to mind with wistful nostalgia, the usual toilet paper treatment is augmented by a moistened paper towel for that thoroughly clean feeling. The direction is always front-to-back since I do not intend to smear the nut-sack with the fecal matter. That would be an unforgivable breach of personal etiquette, a Faux-Poo, if you will. Always glad to share information about my poop with others so that they might attain that spiritual level of oneness with the POOP. Happy crapping to all! now it's time for a little Xmas music:
"Joy to the world, the poop has come;
Let bowl receive the log!
Let every bowel, prepare to move;
And heaven and toilet sing (x4)"
----Captain Craptastic!!!

I wipe my front side from back to front, then move my arm around to the back and wipe front to back. That way there is a pulling motion for both sides. You start at the vagina opening and move forward towards the urethra and then you can use that liquid to switch around to the back and clean up anything back there.

OMG!!! I haven't laughed this hard in years. My fav "The Shit Volcano" & Pissy smelling pussy.
I just visited to get info on teaching my kids the CORRECT way to wipe. My hubby says from the back and I say between the legs. Now I know it doesn't matter as long as they are clean.
OH my method:
Between the legs, Front to back, Then ass only back to front. Final cleansing requires flushable moist wipe and anything goes.

Ok so everyone says that girls should always wipe front to back. When I shit of course I wipe away from everything but I dont when I piss. when you wipe front to back after u piss ur just wiping piss into ur pussy eww! god no wonder some girls smell really bad and have disgusting underwear! I wipe up and away and I never have had any type of infection. I mean come on if you wipe it correctly your wiping just from the pee hole up and thats nowhere close to your asshole. Oh ya and I always use wipes after I shit i think its gross when people only wipe with toilet paper that leaves the shit smell!

vagina back front. butt front back. pretty simple.
also this whole thing is hilarious especially ppl being so bold about such private things..

Like others, I couldn't vote because my method isn't on here.

I took a page from my dog's book and have begun scooting my ass along the carpet to get it clean. It feels good and does seem to solve the problem, although you can't go too fast or too far, or you'll end up with a major-league rug burn!

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"...I once ate a roadkill possum that had been raised on a diet of carp. I cooked it over a fire fueled with old tires and dog shit. [My fart] put to shame the sewers of Calcutta."
- ChiefThunderbutt

I wipe south to north. If I wind up with a few shit-bits on me I'd rather it be on my back than my balls.

Wipe front to back? Would not my balls look like mudflaps? Like swinging sacks of shit?