You wash your hands after

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113 Comments on "You wash your hands after"

Double Flush's picture
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I don't wash my hands after using the toilet. I don't get pee or poop on them. If you do wash your hands, that's probably better for you, though I feel like being on the dirty side has made me stronger. I'm one of those who doesn't get very clean, yet I hardly ever get sick. But when I do get sick, I get REALLY sick. Maybe I need to start washing my hands.

_______
Around here, our women poop, and it stinks too.

[Insert witty banter here]

GottaGoGirl's picture
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"...Double Flush (771) -- 08.27.2006 --'I don't wash my hands after using the toilet.'..."

That's a new level of gross, even for you. Sick. Nasty. Vile. Putrid. Loathsome. Despicable. Pestilent.

I'm out of adjectives, but I'll get back to you.

Your mother will be ashamed. Or maybe your mother should BE ashamed for not teaching you better.

Ugh. Damn.
_______
I've come to realize that signatures are irritating.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I am a fairly habitual hands washer just for the "ew" affect I most likely psychosomatically feel after having my hands anywhere near the butt area. No, I don't have any diseases (that I know of), but I'm sure others appreciate not sensing that there's any possibility of biological weapons of ass destruction on my fingers or palms in general.

I cook alot. Because of this, washing my hands is a regular occurrence.

No, I do not wear Reynold's Wrap on my head. I just like to wash my hands.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

SamDamnit's picture
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I don't wash my hands after peeing at home. I know where my willy has been.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

turd turdgutson's picture
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GottaGoGirl, you judgemental toad, not everyone is as OCD as you obviously are about the subject of hand-washing. While you are entitled to your opinion, attacking someone's upbringing is totally out of line and contributes nothing to the discussion.

And for what it's worth, I, for one, don't wash my hands after performing ANY bathroom activities, unless I actually manage to get urine or feces on them (via the toilet paper ripping and causing me to drag my fingers across my shit-covered ass, for example). If I can't see anything on my fingers after this happens, I usually perform a finger-sniff to find out if I need to wash or not.

_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

Motherload's picture
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I always wash my hands after i go to the bathroom, and about 500 other times a day since my job as a CNA puts me in close contact with other people's pee and poo.

Then, when I come home from work, I strip down and throw my scrubs right into the washer and jump into the shower just to be sure I have no trace of others' waste in my home.
_______
Always looking out for number two!

Always looking out for number two!

Northy's picture
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You just gotta wash your hands after going to the bog. The only time this is excusable is if you're too pissed or if there is nothing to dry your hands on

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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The real question is: do you wash your hands after touching the steering wheel?

Steering wheels trump toilets in germ test

In theory, you should be more wary of shaking hands with GGG after she's done driving than Double Flush after he's done peeing.

Anomalous Coward's picture
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DoubleFlush - Damn it, you're making me look normal. Knock it off, willya?

GottaGoGirl's picture
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What would it reflect on, then? Tell me.

"Toad" me all you want, Turd, but if you shit, you wash your hands. This is a basic fundamental of civilized society. Period.
_______
I've come to realize that signatures are irritating.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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P.S.

For what it's worth, part of my job is counting all the tills and making the nightly deposit. Money is pretty dirty, and I usually don't have time to wash at work, getting the bum's rush out the door.

So I keep baby wipes in my car (they're there, anyway, because of GoBoy), and I wipe my hands with one, then wipe the steering wheel, gear knob, turn signal, and door handle. It takes maybe 8 seconds. If that's OCD, I'll embrace it.
_______
I've come to realize that signatures are irritating.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Being too germ free, is bad for your immune system.
_______
Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Right you are, Sam. I don't have a thing about germ-FREE. I don't have anti-bacterial soap, and we open our windows all the time and we only change the bath towels twice a week and...whatever.

You're right. But SHIT is another issue. It has the capacity to spread disease very quickly. People NOT spreading FECES around after they poop is one of the things that moved us into the modern era.

NOT washing your hands after you SHIT is medieval, if not PRIMEVAL. I will not give on this point.

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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I'm with you, GottaGoGirl. I am not suggesting that any one refrain from washing after a poop. However, people should be aware that they can not avoid eating poop. When ever you smell poop, you are ingesting aerosolized particles of feces, in your nose and mouth. Even if you don't smell it, it is every where. It is in your water and on your food. It is on most every thing that you touch.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Wash your hands when you shit
Don't be an uncouth little twit.
Wash with water and some soap,
Don't be a shitty little dope.
When your hand's been near your bum,
Wash it ere you suck your thumb.

Hu Flung Dung's picture
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Damnit, Sam, I was going for a disgustedless day today, and you ruined it. Now I have to go scrub my mouth and nostils out with Comet and choop off my hands.
_______
Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

Yes, those are my brown spots. Yes, those are your walls.

Chuck's picture
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A few months ago we debated the dangers of having a toothbrush exposed to the bathroom air. Feces microbes, germs run amok, one would think hysteria took to this forum. Now that same bathroom which houses that horrible toothbrush and exposure to same germs gets a cavalier, devil may care attitude when it comes to hand washing.

turd turdgutson's picture
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"Devil may care" is about right. Like I said, if I can smell it or see it on my hands...


_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

the log of hazzard's picture
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hand washing should be something that is natural for you to do after you dump or piss. Those of you who say that getting it on your hands is the only excuse for doing so, does it not strike you that because your hand has been near your ass that it might have gotten some sort of feces particle on it?

When I was younger, I wouldn't wash my hands after peeing. But not washing after crapping is just plain out of the question.

Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be the last one)

turd turdgutson's picture
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Why? Do you make it a habit to crap on your hands?
_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

Bunga Din's picture
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You people that don't wash your hands after shitting are just plain fucking gross. By your own twisted logic I assume you don't shower as well until you can see a layer of filth on your skin. I'll take filthy North Americans for $2000. Alex.....Shit covered hands, shit covered bodies and just a filthy countenance in general is most like? Who are DoubleFlush and turd turdgutson? WHoooo EEEEE bring on the tournament of champions!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Oh, and one more thing, Turd. Are you any less of a toad than I for maligning those who actually do suffer from OCD?

I wash my hands of this.

But then, you wouldn't know about that, would you?
_______
I've come to realize that signatures are irritating.

turd turdgutson's picture
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Bunga Din, you are doing WAAAAAYYY too many drugs. I'll take 'Career Stoner' for $2000, Alex.
_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

Bunga Din's picture
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Thanks turd, I take that as a compliment. I haven't done drugs in years (close to a decade) but it's nice to know I can still sound FAR OUT MAN!

P.S. My role model in my younger years was Super Hippy from the Hilarious House of Frightenstein.

AssBlaster2000's picture
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Damn, I thought this would be a lame yawner poll, but handwashing is always the subject of a raucous debate. I will say a few things, first being that I'm the opposite of a germophobe and although I keep a moderately clean house I don't get crazy about germs. I've read too many studies about kids raised in superclean households getting all sorts of allergies and asthma and the like because they are never exposed to germs in order for their bodies to manufacture antibodies.

I wash my hands after I poop and pee. A woman gets pee on her hands more than a man. I hardly ever get poop on my hands, but what if, you know, what if that black stuff under my fingernail isn't dirt from when I was in the garden, and then I go to make dinner for guests, I'm not taking the chance.

My husband sometimes doesn't wash his hands after peeing. I'm OK with that because I know where his willy's been too, and I wash down there every day. He does wash his hands after pooping. Those who don't have something wrong with them. Why would you even take the chance of having unseen poop on your hands? You live in a civilized country, and if you can afford to be on the Internet you can afford to buy soap and pay your water bill. There are no excuses not to wash one's hands post defecation. Period.

Joan's picture
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why do public toilet doors always open inwards ? You have no sooner washed your hands then you have to recontaminate when using the handle ! I make a point of hanging around public toilets for hours until someone opens the door (from outside) and then scurry out with my clean hands intact ......

Anomalous Coward's picture
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Bunga,
"You people that don't wash your hands after shitting are just plain fucking gross." How do you really feel about this?

shitwit's picture
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I used to wash just after shitting (or unless I got pee on my hands!). But I have a young son now that is just beginning potty training so I'd better do things right. Then he can make the choice to not wash, like Daddy does (or does NOT as the case may be!). I agree with those who feel that exposing yourself to some germs is good for the immunity.


_______
Brown tidings I bring
to you
from my ring

Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

GottaGoGirl's picture
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You're a good man, Witty!

Poop Shooter's picture
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WOW, one hellofa debate. I wash after pooping, but not peeint unless I get a dribble on my hand. Seems rather wierd someone wouldn't wash after wiping yer arse, even if there is a barrier of micro-thin paper between your fingers and the brown puckered starfish. geeshie people, be clean.

_______
Regional Power Pooping Champion 1995-2006
Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

KeepOnCrappin's picture
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I always wash after crapping, and usually wash if its not my house. Yeah there'es germs on the steering wheel, but hey, i haven't gotten sick in 2 years so i don't care. I have a pretty strong immune system.

Yeah im back after a month or so. I know I said I would give Dave KOC@Tacobell at least a month ago and @Outback Steakhouse proably 3 months ago, but I was being a procrastinator.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Samson's picture
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Only after taking a dump for me and no soap.

It's odd that I bother really when I often put my hands in bird feces when out training (vaulting walls, climbing trees and such).Then without washing eat something using my hands.

I guess the reason I wash after pooping is only out of habbit really.

I'm perfectly healthy btw. Not been ill since I was a young child and only occasionly then. Just starting my 20's and I can be a right filthy bugger, still eat food that's been dropped on the floor etc. I probably take things a bit too far but many people seem to be a bit ott as far as hygeine is concerned.

The Dumpster's picture
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Mr. Turdgutson, I understand fully why you do not wash your hands after taking a shit. It is because you, sir, ARE a piece of shit, so if you did, there would be nothing left. In fact, if anyone ever gave you an enema, they clearly could fit what was left of you into a matchbox.

To call GGG, who is one of the wittiest, most engaging, polite members of this site, a "judgmental toad" simply for expressing an opinion about basic personal hygeine that is shared by every mentally healthy, intelligent individual in all civilized societies demonstrates that you are neither one of the former nor fit for inclusion in the latter.

Further, you are a rank hypocrite, because what can be more "judgmental" than your own sanctimonious, asinine remarks? I would call you an asshole, but that would be an insult to assholes everywhere.

turd turdgutson's picture
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Thank you ever so much for that fantastic rant, Dumpster. I love getting a rise out of folks. It's precisely why I make the comments that I do. Every time you wig out and go ape-shit and rant about what a [fill in the blank] you think I am, you give me [I]exactly[/I] what I want. The only thing more entertaining than reading your comments is thinking about how much time you wasted writing them up in the first place. So again - [I]thank you[/I]. Please keep it up. Folks like you give me a reason to jeep coming back for more.'points.'
_______
"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

"You will spray oil when you fart. You will have diarrhea. You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels." - Mr. Angry on alli

The Dumpster's picture
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Dave, do I hear a "ban" warming up somewhere? I hope so.

healthy 1's picture
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Wow, I almost forgot what I was voting about, oh yeah washing hands. I voted for option nuemero uno. I always wash my hands after peeing or pooping.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Non-Washer's picture
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I never wash my hands after peeing and hardly ever after pooping. I have never got any diseases or been sick badly.

Balve Movement #1's picture
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Why hello there my fellow poopers. I have to addmit i dont always wash my hands after pooping or peeing, but i hate getting ill so i try to, plus my mother gets on to me. But if you are trying to "help the world be a better place", it would help if you washed your hands for once, you may not realize how much that would mean to the person sitting next to you. and I know others would appreciate not sensing that there's any possibility of biological weapons of ass destruction on your fingers or palms in general. And some people don't like people simply because they smell. So if you are wondering why you have no friends, your answer may lie in your water, soap, sink, and/or shower. And for those of you lacking intelligence, add them together, and you get cleanlines! So good luck and please stay clean, [for your pride at least].

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Man, I ALWAYS wash my hands no matter what bodily function is taking place.

And to all who don't wash your hands and then touch money, thanks for making me touch your shit too. I work in a place where all I do is touch money and washing your hands will save me the ickiness of touching your icky poo. WASH YOUR HANDS.

healthy 1's picture
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For the people who don't was their hands.

Please make an effort to wash your hands. Have some consideration for the poor slob you will be shaking hand with later in the day.

The germs from poop can pass through ten layers of toilet paper.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Darrie's picture
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Being a female, I always wash my hands after peeing and pooping. The thought of cooking or eating anything without washing my hands is just plain nasty. My husband does not wash his hands after peeing but he alway's washed them after pooping.

GottaGoGirl's picture
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H1: ten layers, you say? Can you back that up?

Pucker Up's picture
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I'm curious: If you get up in the middle of the night to pee, do you always wash your hands?

Balve Movement #1's picture
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Well to answer your question Pucker Up, i don't wash my hands if and when i do get up in the middle of the night to pee, simply because when i wake up & have to pee, i don't want to get up in the first place because i don't fall back to sleep too easily, and if i washed my hands.. it would wake me up. But any other time, OF COURSE :-]

Boomerang's picture
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The leading cause of food poisoning is not spoiled food but food with germs (usually from poop or dirt).


_______
Fart + lit candles on cake = happy birthday!

Shitler - Poop Nazi. I also have a joke about him hating Pews (that's Jews + Poo) but maybe that's a little offensive...

GottaGoGirl's picture
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THANK YOU! I have said this for YEARS! That most "24-hour flus" are from the mishandling of food. Thank you. Someone else believes.

freddy krueger 16's picture
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Just wash your hands after using the restroom. It's required hygiene for me, as I don't want to have diseases on my hands and get sick just because I didn't take a few seconds of my time to keep clean.

Just wash up; you won't regret it.


_______
fred kruega!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I don't wash my hands after a pee but what is the point it will waist my time.

Fart Poopie's picture
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Where was I when this discussion came up?!
There are way too many nasty people out there not washing their hands after using the bathroom. Whether you pee, poop, change a diaper or pick up your pet's poo, you MUST wash your hands.

Some of you guys are going to disagree with me, but I think you should wash your hands after peeing, too. Your junk gets all sweaty and gross, mingling with whatever butt germs hang out in your underwear, then you touch it to pee... getting those germs on your hands.

Eew, eew, eew.

Please, wash your hands after using the bathroom.

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I'm so anal, I wash when YOU poop!!!

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)