I picked fiber.

My daily oatmeal really helps me stay regular.

Sometimes on the weekends I skip the oatmeal and boy do I sometimes painfully pay for it.

Metamucil or ground flax seed. God's gift to the bunged-up pooper.

I voted for coffee, which works for me, every time.

I don't smoke, though, so I don't know how cigarettes work for poop; is it the nicotine?

Listerine has a whitening mouthwash, and I have to say that it works pretty well. It beats those 1/2-hour-gelly-strip-gaggy-things.

If I even look at raisin bran, figs or anything from Taco Hell, game's on.

CEP, you know it. Just reading/writing about figs is getting a reaction from my innards.

Fiber is great to maintain a healthy, regular pooping lifestyle. Sometimes, however, you need an extra kick in the colon... especially if, in a few days time, you consume less fiber than you're supposed to consume. Eating enough fiber is sometimes difficult for people like me because I like to eat bloody sides of cow.

In the past, I've used laxatives (both pill and liquid form) and when that hasn't helped, an enema has offered quick relief. However, you can't use them often if you are plagued by frequent constipation because they will cause you to become dependent on them.

So have some broccoli with your beef.

mmm... beef and broccoli... we're having chinese food for dinner tonight.

I can't go without a cigarette...I guess its just the act of doing two of my favorite things together...hehe...but there are people who believe smoking helps digestion... hence the after dinner smoke. Gonna try and get to the bottom of this...
_______
Everything is funny as long as it happens to somebody else.

Nothing too exciting, just a couple of handfuls of fiber cereal a day.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

AB2K, what about us poor souls whose problem is not pulling the plug, but putting it back in?

I'm gonna check the older polls to see if that alternative scenario is covered. If not, I'll try to send you a suggestion.

Just reading this site gets my bowels dancing, but if I need extra help, prune juice does it every time, although with a lot of gurgly noises...

Triscuits and wine as a usual part of my diet do very well.

If it's super bad, I've been known to use those glycerin suppositories. It's only been once or twice in the past 5 years, but they really work.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
http://www.daphneszoo.com/

And then when Daph could only fart....

Told you it happened!

mcdonalds strawberry milkshakes always gets it moving when i can't naturally.

sometime even half a milk shake and i can feel it rumbling....sure enough next morning first thing...it's doors open and a free for all....

cocaine is the best for getting things moving

You've got to be kidding, Jay P. I've never used cocaine, but I have had to take prescription codeine on a number of occasions. I have IBS, so I NEVER get constipated, but a couple of Lortabs will stop me up every time.

Even Imodium, the leading over-the-counter anti-diarrheal medication, is a nonaddictive opioid, which slows down the bowels.

You sure the cocaine doesn't just make you lose track of the last time you shit?

Diabetic (sugar free) chocolate, label says may have a laxative effect. They aren't kidding !!

try a long night at the bar then eating white castle at 430am... the next day you will go 2 or 3 times and watch out for the smell!!!

When the coffee and smokes don't get things moving, a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon definately gets things gliding along!

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Poop Shooter!

Anonymous C-- You're right! I forgot about that!

Many years ago, before there was much sugar-free choice beyond TAB, there was a surgarfree mint that came out called "Velamints". My g'ma was diabetic, and she tried them at her doctor's and bought rolls and rolls of them.

They were really, really good! They were probably made with cyclamate, which has been banned. Anyway, one family gathering, after lunch, she gave each of us kids our own roll of Velamints. They had this great "velvety" mouth feel, hence the name. We gobbled them up!

Each and every one of us got Velamint Violence out the back end! Our mothers thought we'd got bad food, but a week later, Grandma's dog snatched and ate a 3-pack of the stupid mints, and diarrhea'd all over prized orange shag carpeting (this was 1974 or so). Talk about dingleberries. Orange shag diarrhea dingleberries.

Mmmmmn. Velamints. Pooooooooop.

GGG, remember there used to be some kind of gum with a liquidy center that, when you chewed it, would sorta burst open in your mouth?

It got to be known, of course, as "cum gum," and us guys wouldn't eat it for nothing!

7 StoliCrans and a lengua taco....

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

the gum called "Freshn Up" or something like that.

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Poop Shooter!

I think Jay P is just being a smart ass, TD. :)

Coffee works great on me. Most of the time I end up drinking the last part of it while sitting on the toilet.

Dumpie-- I do indeed remember "Freshen Up" gum. However, I am MUCH to YOUNG to remember ANY such ribald reference to bodily fluids! (grin)

If you ask me, there are a number of things that could be much IMPROVED if they had a burst of mint to them!

I take Polyethylene Glycol 3350, not over the counter thank you, and I love it!

The smokes generally do it for me but if i go more then a few days without a symphonic movement it's time for beer. Especially the expensive microbrewery stuff I'm partial too. Man i love sierra nevada pale ale, guiness and heavy dark beers really get things going too.

I've been taking prescription opiates for chronic pain for several months. Shortly after starting the meds, the blockage was terrible. Not wanting to take laxatives, I called my mom the nurse to ask about herbal remedies. She suggested swallowing a teaspoon of honey 2 to 3 times a day. I tried it, and it worked. Since then I have taken honey when things stop moving, and it helps work it all out.

Because of a severe spinal injury in '02, the meds I take have an effect on my bowels that I would not wish on my ugly stepsister. Between the cramping, bleeding, and thinking I am giving birth to a 32 oz. Pepsi bottle everytime I lay cable, I needed help with the Polyethylene Glycol 3350.

Now, I lay slop with ease, although sometimes I have emergencies on the underground, stuck in traffic, in my practice and at night in bed. Those stories will come at a later date...

Sounds pretty damnawful to me!

You're practice? Are you really a doctor? If so what kind? and more importantly, would you like to be the next Poonurse?

I have a small practice where I help people who are suffering from chronic pain. Since I have had nine back surgeries myself, my patients really relate to me very easily.

Since I am a shrink, the Poonurse gig does not sound all that interesting, but a "Headnurse" well...

So not an md then. darn.

I, um, hope that you mean "head nurse" in relation to matters of the mind. Otherwise, I think you might need to try a different site...

I like the name "Headnurse," in relationship to people's psychological issues with poop.

And, doc, if you are a "shrink," that means a psychiatrist, which also means you're an M.D.?

I think you and Dave should talk. Just sayin'...

I didn't realize that psychiatrists were md's. I guess it makes sense, since they have to be able to prescribe medications.

Well, he said a "shrink". That could be a psychologist, who are not MDs.

I can prescribe. But, who needs a script when there is Doxidan, gentle Doxidan, as soon as the sun rises, your pants will be full of surprises!

Doxidan in the PM for a BM in the AM!

Popcorn, popcorn, the poop-starting food.
Eat it all day, the poop comes out!
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

I'm ineligible to vote in this poll, as I have IBS, and am only concerned with getting it to STOP going!

Laxatives can be harmful but they will start you up

I like the suppository, quick, easy no mess. I can insert one, start cutting the grass and within 10 to 15 minutes my bowels are more than ready for release. Oral laxatives and fiber take too long..esp if you want quick relief. Most guys don't want to have to wait a day for relief if they are constipated.

Four glasses of ICE COLD water in the morning do it for me.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

what do you do when you ''accidentally'' have NOT
pooped for a while and it is too big,chunky, and painful to get going or even get it out???
____________________
miss_feces

What really helps me is Fiber One bars,lots of fiber keeps me regular. another thing thats great
but really embarrassing to buy is Glycerin Suppositories. like i said very embarrassing to buy but worth it if you are VERY CONSTIPATED.

one time way way back in the day, i had horrible diarrhea, and our house did not have indoor plumbing, our only bathroom was the outhouse in the field to the right of the house. i had to go so bad i didnt think i could make it so i stole one of my mothers bowls from the kitchen and took it behind my sisters dresser since my room was in the living room. in the midst of unloading my self to the fullest, goopiest extent my sister came into her room naked having just taken a bath. when she entered she wrinkled her nose in disgust, mother she called come here and find whats making that horrible smell. oh dear, i thought. soon enough they found me behind the dresser with my pants down sitting on my mothers prized porcelin bowl. ahhh they both screamed. i got spanked and my sister never forgave me. my mothers bowl never was clean again.

THE END!!!

Top 10 types of poop:
1. Ghost Poop-You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.
2. Gooey Poop-This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
3. Second Thought Poop-You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.
4. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop-This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
5. Right Now Poop-You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
6. Wet Cheeks Poop-This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.
7. Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers)-You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.
8. The Bungee Poop-The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt. You have to do a little shake before it falls into the water.
9. Dirty Bowl Poop-The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
AND THE BEST TYPE OF SHIT!!!!:
10. Mystery Poop-Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!!!!

While I am rarely constipated, I do have some favorites if I need them: Shredded Wheat, lentil soup, barley soup, raw celery, and--as a last resort--pizza. I eat fiber cereals and various fibrous vegetables almost every day (and apples, too), so my bowels are usually quite willing and able to move at least once a day.