I feel highly uncomfortable when others can hear me, thus "thunderstorm." I'm still shameful though I'm ever so slowly getting some shamelessness in me, all thanks to PoopReport!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

It was like a hurricane in my toilet bowl after a night of too much chilli and a gallon or so of home brew beer.

Oh, BTW, since Dave hasn't had time to change the credit yet, this poll is attributed to TSV. (Could anyone tell?)

Great poll idea, TSV!

Definetly the firestorm. I still cringe at the memory.

Nevertheless, I also still eat habanero salsa.

yes, i also chose the firestorm. cuz it doesn't just hurt coming out, it still hurts for a while afterwards, too! i don't like it when my poop hole burns. but it does make me think of Ring of Fire, by Johnny Cash (and vice versa). and that's nice.
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i love poop.

I had to go with Thunderstorm, because it referred to "fairly normal". Not necessarily VERY normal, mind you.
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Santa Caca!

I have to say "hurricane." The one time I got food posioning at Wendys was not only horrific, but emotionally scarring.

Definitely firestorm. You wipe and wipe and it's like there's still some microscopic fecal particles on your butthole, burning.

Personally, I had a hard time chosing on my own poll. I have been struck by both the hurricane and the firestorm.

I have eaten spicy food that has made my asshole blister. The thing was virtually impossible to wipe for days and I usually gave up and washing in the sink. That didn't even extinguish it.

My ass must be Florida, though. I get struck more frequently by hurricanes than firestorms. The last one left undie chowder in my pink jeans, all over the chair, and on the floor. Damn category four shart!

So, after weighing this in, I had to choose hurricane. That experience was definately more traumatic than the burning asshole!

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A mind is a terrible thing to toast, unless you use a little butter.

Although I've had almost all of those experiences, I chose "hurricane," as illustrative of my most typical Shit Storm, and also because of my total admiration for that Force of Nature--TSV!

I gotta ask--where's "Volcano" in all of this? Though I chose thunderstorm, I sometimes get burning if I eat too much spicy food. I have never had an experience where I sharted or crapped and had it go past my undies (or pants if without undies), so I can't really say I know what it's like. The burn is bad enough for me.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

*BZZZT* Ooooh! Sorry! You are incorrect. A volcano is NOT weather. But thanks SO much for playing; your parting gift is a year's supply of Preparation H and some latex gloves. Ladies and Gentlemen, let's give our contestant a nice round of applause!

:P
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Santa Caca!

A "volcano" isn't exactly weather, DF, but it is the natural phenomenon that best illustrates the Earth taking a dump.

As to our TSV, and the origins of her name, these things are wrapped in layers and layers and layers of mystery. I, with my unique woman-charming skills, have unwrapped a few of those layers. Do you think you can do more?

(Where in the heck are all the guys on this site these days? I need SamDamnit, Bunga, and Poop Shooter, among others, to rush in here and tell me what an a**hole I am being!)

Yes Dumpster, perhaps the volcano should be included. I guess we`ve all suffered from the occaisional "pyroclastic flow" now and then - a tremendously fast, hot and gaseous emission.

The Volcano is to be totally feared and respected.

God have I suffered from drought. My longest was five days of pure agony. Ever since introducing Kellogg's bran bars into my diet, I am happily unstuck.
Speaking of volcanoes, there is going to be a special on the Discovery Channel about Krakatoa. Love that name, Krakatoa.

Merapi is the volcano you want to look out for Random.

Merapi, yes. He is a nasty little bugger. Right now he is amusing himself by burning earthquaked out villages. My favorite volcano of all time is Mont Pelee, though. Mainly because I hate the French!

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A mind is a terrible thing to toast, unless you use a little butter.

Yeah, but you have to admit, "Krakatoa" is one of those funny-sounding names that makes little boys of all ages snicker.

Like, last week, in church, we had a guest preacher named "Rev. Philpot." I thought Little Dumpster and I weren't going to make it through the service!

I would say hurricane, yet combined with a bit of tornado. I've had some assplosions of hurricain proportions that have hit so hard that poop and poop water has actually splashed back up covering my ass with a thin brown layer of poo lava. Those take a shower to get it all clean.

I'm 19 and I'm cracking up at "Krakatoa." What an odd little mind I have.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Nine Inch Log, didn't you know that hurricanes are known to spawn tornadoes?

Dumpster and Double Flush, What about Titicaca? That one still makes me laugh. So does the name for Kilaeua's recent crater, which I can't even begin to spell.

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A mind is a terrible thing to toast, unless you use a little butter.

Titicaca is the best of all, but it is a lake, not a volcano.

Sorta like that Egyptian queen, Nefertiti.

What about Sacsayhuaman? The tour guides there like to joke about it with English-speakers.
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Santa Caca!

There is a volcano in Papua New Guinea named "Blup Blup". That has to be one of my favorite names. Makes me think of a bathtub and a lot of gas. aka, Mexican jacuzzi.

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Clones are people, two.

You all are making me laugh so hard. These names beat the names of places in North Carolina such as Lizard Lick and Greasy Spoon.

It's been hotter than Hell in Raleigh lately! Just look at the weather for Michigan. Heh heh heh...

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Towns in Kentucky...

Paint Lick, Flat Lick, Mud Lick, Sulfur Lick, Knob Lick, Spring Lick. Perhaps there is not a lot to do in Kentucky.

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

I tried to look up the etimology of "lick", thinking it must MEAN something besides, well, just "lick". I couldn't find anything. Anyone? Anyone?

Mom has step parents in Kentucky, and my dad grew up in Kentucky, so I've been a few times. There are a few things to see and do, but not all that much that appeals to me.

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Sometimes it just takes two.

AB2K writes:

"There once was a man from Kentucky
Who thought he could fart and get lucky
He thought he could hold it
But the smell quickly told it
That he had just made his underpants mucky."

Get it?

Once I had a spicy bowl of red curry when I was in Thailand. The aftermath was a combination of a firestorm, a hurricane, and a tornado. I was left with a firey butthole, a shitcovered bathroom stall (including the walls and floor), and of course there was some running down my leg. To make matters worse there was no toilet paper and no running water. I had to use my t-shirt to wipe myself down. The bathroom (which was actually more of just a hole in the ground) looked as though it had scene the brutal explosion of a shit monster. So if you go to thailand, remember, it may be wise to stay away from the red curry.

I voted for the firestorm. I have no idea why that happens to me though, because I rarely eat Mexican or any other common culprits. It seems to happen when I eat plants. (Is this anything like what would happen to a vegetarian if she ate meat?) Now I'm curious.

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...and they all lived crappily ever after!

For me it was a tossup between firestorm and hurricane.

The firestorm would represent the terrible case of Category 5 hemorrhoids that I had late last year. Those flames made my ass like The Great Shit-cago fire had commenced.

The hurricane represents the precipitous cleanses that aways punctuated long bouts of constipation, stemming from my IBS.

Katrina, Rita, Wilma, and Alpha combined, could not spew that much shit.
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"If December be changeable and mild, the whole winter will remain a child."

Wikipedia says "A salt lick is a salt deposit that animals regularly lick. In an ecosystem, salt/mineral licks sometimes occur naturally, providing the sodium, calcium, iron, phosphorus and zinc required in the springtime for bone, muscle and other growth in deer and other wildlife. Harsh weather exposes salty mineral deposits that draw animals from miles away for a taste of needed nutrients."

Kentucky just happens to be full of these natural salt/mineral deposits and was an excellent hunting ground for the early settlers.

The animals came to lick the deposits for their benefit, and the people were able to hunt the animals and also collect some of the deposits themselves and boil them for salt for their own use.

Since the food supply was not only plentiful but apparently tasty as well, the areas surrounding the licks became the places where communities were developed. They most likely were named for whatever explorer discovered that particular lick, or some other notable factor as in the case with Big Bone Lick, where there were skeletons of very large animals such as mammoths, mastadons and ground sloths found stuck in the marshy areas there.

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Always looking out for number two!

For me it's a drought, because my most persitent problem is not drinking enough water, so I end up trying to pass a few puny little sticky turds. That's awful. Takes a lot more paper to clean up also.

Drought here.

Damn IBS.

*buys more Citrucel*

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And it burns, burns, burns -
The ring of fire.