Editor's note: We did poo haikus a long time ago, and they were great. The following haiku came in email, and since it's been so long, I thought I'd resurrect the art form.
Traditionally, haiku form is three lines with a syllable count of 5-7-5. Take, for instance, the winner of the haiku contest two years ago:
Butt cheeks squeezed tightly
Turtle head is poking out
No bathroom in sight.
-- Professor Lump
However, as you will see below, there are many
variations on the form. Stick to 5-7-5 if you're unsure. or check out the preceding link and be more creative.
I find the stories people submit are hands down, the best amateur writing I have seen. Each story is heartfelt, detailed, articulate, and, above all, the essence of the human experience.
So here is my inspired submission to Poopreport. I chose the very disciplined form of poetry known as Haiku.
Corn sloth fights hard
break free it must
cheeks hold back war
bathroom line too long
many miles to go
long neck vein shows
others seem concerned
brown foe inches forth
My turn is next
bears peek nose out
small jig I dance
stall door creaks open
Drop trou in haste
rump not yet docked
dark horse trots fast
moist face flush with glee
-- Bill
Editor's note: We've got a million more haikus here as well as below!
