Not bad at all. I think, though, you should have covered more of the original.

I was under pressure, so to speak. I will try for complete version for next year. Or maybe a new poem altogether.

Its a good start there prairie I think adding to it next year is a fine idea. Make a note of it. I enjoyed this. To all my friends at PR a very blessed unconstipated holiday. Make that post holiday dump one to remember!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

A Poolitzer Prize may be in your future.Breaking news has just come into Poop Report.Santa was denied the use of a bathroom in Staten Island,New York and did the unthinkable.Santa was taken into custody and charged with Turd Terrorism.Officers from the 122nd Precinct had to leave Dunkin'Donuts and take Santa into custody after a family would not let Mr.Claus use their bathroom.Santa responded by deficating down their chimney.Santa would only say,''Ho!Ho!Ho! I had to go!''

Merry Christmas, Prairie! May you toilet be full of huge, flushable floaters and your cleanup be minimal.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Well done prarie doggin, this pressure you were under obviously was exacerbated by the beer. Looking forward to next years in stall ment.

Had diarrhea one day--then the next,
Nothing at all. I ate some shredded wheat,
Some veggies, popcorn, and of course some meat,
But still no poop, and I was sore perplexed.
The second morning--no poop--I was vexed.
I ate some spicy foods to get some heat
To roil my gut. The pressure came. I beat
A retreat to the bathroom. Rectum flexed.

Upon the seat, I slowly pushed. A turd
Began its tardy exit from my ass.
I grunted--I could hardly say a word.
'Twas stubborn, but I slowly made it pass.
Kaplunk! it splashed, then I could feel another
Ease forth, and loudly splash to join its brother.

This was a sonnet, of sorts. If it meets approval, I could probably do more.
Corrected scansion in last line.

(shrieking voice) There are a million things that need to be done around here, and you're on the shitter writing poems! My mother was right. I should have married that car salesman.

Mrs. PD

Bravo, P Doggin! I thought the poem was wonderful and hilarious. It sounded the the brown note I needed to hear in order to get me through this day.

And to Mrs. PD, be thankful for a husband who writes about crap and thinks about sex instead of a husband who spends all day trying to convince people that his 4-wheeled piece of crap is better than sex.
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Merry Christmas to all!

Definitely a good start, but I think it should be longer too.

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Merry feeking Christmas and a crappy New Year to all!

Both the poem, and the turd!