OPG....this was probably the worst attempt at making a poo poem. Dont get me wrong I love illiteration however, even Paula Abul would kick you out of Hollywood.
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The only bad turd is a turd that has yet to be laid.

The way of the scarab
Is mysterious, and not just to the Arab.
This beetle does things with poop
That we rarely do:
He rolls it into balls,
He eats it till it palls,
He waits until it falls,
And then he springs into action.

Do you suppose he gazes upward in anticipation
To see an anus far above?
Do you think he waits in hope,
Watching for the telltale droop,
The slow expansion outward, as the cow
(or horse, or camel, or whatnot)
Gets set for the next necessary extrusion
Of poop? Perhaps. Let's watch:

Aha! The anal opening begins to gape,
The scarab rises in anticipation,
And out comes poop! Kerplop, a pause, kerplop.
If scarab has well estimated,
The thudding drop will land, not on him,
But close enough for all his operations.

Bravo to the lowly scarab! To the work
And to his meal he goes, to be ignored
By the donor of the pile of poop before him.

Jack Handy would love this, I know I did.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Turd Burgler, you are wrong. Now. I want you to apologize to officepoopgirl like you mean it.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Absolutely not. That was terrible. I stand by my statement that Paula Abdul would kick he rout of Hollywood!!! SP stop trying to defend womankind, especially when she produces junk like that!!!
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The only bad turd is a turd that has yet to be laid.

MSG: well done!

Turd Burgler: "I love illiteration" is perhaps the greatest misspelling I have ever seen. Let me ask you this: Is illiteration itslef intriguing? Is it illiteratation infatuation? Or is illiterate ignorance influencing inadvertent intentions?

I believe that Turd Burgler is confused or possibly channeling George W Bush vis a vis "illiteration".

Let us not pay attention to this cowcat or listen to his paloodle, he's oofle to me.

Both OfficePoopGirl and MSG's poems have left me quite wox. I hope I don't seem like too much of a quoob here but I enjoy the persotude of this site.

I will never stop defending womankind, Turd Burgler. Her story was not that bad. It is not the best, but it is NOT the worst either. You are being a creep.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I think that her pooetry poses a deep seeded and thoughtful question. Why do we mix incense with poop. Its not like the incense makes the poop smell any less offensive. It just tries to cover it and in the end you end up with both smells and it becomes quite over powering.
Do we have some misguided belief that one will not notice the poop smell if there is incense? Actually, I find that if there is a masking smell it not only makes the poop smell more pronounced, it also showcases the fact that someone pooped and it atank so bad that he was embarassed. Just my two cents worth.

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Number. One . . . I order you to take a number two.

OfficePoopGirl.....I loved your poem and thought it showed a great deal of sensitivity, don't take the remarks of the Turd Burgler seriously, he has obviously stolen one two many turds and is now full of shit. There is a definition of "illiteration" at unwords.com (a very poor place to pick up metaphors or similes). I personally think there are enough real words available that only a tyro would resort to the use of unwords.

Turd Burgler said, "Paula Abdul would kick he rout of Hollywood." Would you please explain what that means.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

This piece of poetry makes more sense to me than most pompous Haiku bullshit, even if the metre is not constant.
I interpreted some really deep concepts within it, and I believe that there are messages there that should be pondered upon.
(Shit! I've done it again. Another serious post)
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Great pooetry!

Chief wrote, "...he has obviously stolen one two many turds and is now full of shit."

While I laughed greatly at this thought, I am doubly smiling because "two" should be "too" and I have caught the Thunderbutt in a faux pas. (This is a rare find indeed!) Sorry Chief!! :)

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

The difference is that Chief's error is just a typo as we know he knows better.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

That was great!!

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Everyone Poops. There is a book about it, so it must be true.

SP, don't burst my bubble here. Dangit.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

LOL, Brannie! Bubble already bursted. Is that a word? bursted. Naw, I don't think so. Bubbl already burssst!
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

A beautiful mixture of Zen and poo

As much as I would love to take credit for the poetry I cannon't. An ex co-worker wrote it after some office poop tales that sent her rolling with laughter. She sent it to me via e-mail and I knew I just had to share it with this site. Glad so many of you have enjoyed it.

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Happy Pooping!

Bran Lover on 07.30.2009 wrote................
"Chief wrote, "...he has obviously stolen one two many turds and is now full of shit."

While I laughed greatly at this thought, I am doubly smiling because "two" should be "too" and I have caught the Thunderbutt in a faux pas. (This is a rare find indeed!) Sorry Chief!! :)"

Bran Lover.....My face is red, I was in a hurry and absolutely goofed. I am doing penance by writing 100 times...I MUST REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PREPOSITION, AN ADVERB, AND A NUMERAL.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I stand corrected.
A beautiful mixture of Zen and Plagiarism.

Chief, say "I must remember the difference between a preposition, an adverb, and a numberal" three times fast and I will let you out of your penance. Can I still spank you though?

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Sit down Squat! You don't have to stand for that!

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.