I was eatin' my burrito along the long, dusty, windy, mucky road,
When along came a fart with an impendin' load.
It was a bubblin' churnin' stump that was ready to glide.
I clenched my cheeks and then it settled down inside.
For miles and miles there was nothin' but dust and sand.
I clenched my teeth and grasped my ass with one hand!
[Chorus:]
I've gone everywhere, man.
My bung's defiled many a can.
My log was the size of a frying pan.
Ev'rybody caught a whiff and ran.
I've stenched up most of this land.
I've gone everywhere.
I've gone in:
Cincinnati, Dayton, Columbus, Cleveland,
Warren, Middletown, Franklin, Hamilton,
Norwood, Indianapolis, Ft. Wayne, Eaton,
Newport, Louisville, Nashville, Memphis,
Atlanta, Orlando, Miami Beach, Ft. Walton Beach,
DeFuniak Springs, Montpellier, where they said I'm a killer.
[Chorus:]
I've gone everywhere, man.
My bung's defiled many a can.
My log was the size of a frying pan.
Ev'rybody caught a whiff and ran.
I've stenched up most of this land.
I've gone everywhere.
I've gone in:
Starbucks, McDonald's, Burger King, Dairy Queen,
KFC, Speedway, BP, Wendy's,
PetSmart, JC Penney, Kohl's, Staples,
Gold Star Chili, CiCi's Pizza, Pizza Hut, Applebee's,
KMart, Walmart, Taco Bell, Fazoli's,
Neely's, Sears, Geist Lake, for Pete's sake!
