Nice piece of pooetry there, doggin,
Shame about your problem loggin.

Exceeding sad, my doggin friend,
That loaves pass roughly out your end.
To sleep, alas...perchance to dream
Of launching logs without a scream.
A pleasure to you oft denied;
Tormented starfish feels pan-fried.
Would that your IBS relent...
Is the smooth slider heaven sent?

Thanks for the (excellent) uplifting verse. I think I am going to go stall cruising for an unflushed slider, and pretend it is mine.

Ahhhh excellent poem there fella! I like the bejeweled with corn and oh so stinky part!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Prarie Doggin...I simply adore you! Great poem!!!

When Prarie Doggin takes a shit
The fauna sing and the moon is lit
Outside ye pot, one hears the song
"Damn dude--that log was long!!"
_______
Assaulting toilets since 1977!

ROTFLMFAO!!! Woooohooooo!! That's the mood lifter I needed after a night like I just had at work. Damn, that's a great pooem! I love it!

Nice one, fudgepump - that deserves a brown star too!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Thanks, shitwit. BTW: sorry, pd; I forgot to compliment you on your verse. Nicely done. If you're ever lucky enough to not have a miscarriage, I think you should name the baby Cornelia.

I don't expect that to happen soon. I am thinking about kidnapping one, taking it to my toilet and pretend it's mine. Maybe someone out there has one I can adopt.

Hello there doggin’ so sad and so blue,
There IS a solution, oh yes it is true…

Calm your nerves a bit, as stress is the start,
Reduce gassy foods, you don’t want to fart.

Put an end to all things that have milk or caffeine,
I know that part sucks, go ahead call me mean

Imodium slows the motion, Xyfaxan stops gas
Antidepressants for the doldrums and Bentyl stops cramps.

If just don’t do drugs, they make you tussle and toil

There is always Hypnosis and Peppermint Oil.

(check out WebMD.com)

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Happy Crappin'
www.homegrownmedia.com

There once was a pooper name prairie doggin,
whose shit splattered out all over ‘im.
But he had a good spirit,
that helped him get over it.
“If I can’t sink ‘em,” he said, “well then I’ll float ‘em.

Keep these verses coming! I love pooetry! I'd try some of my own right now, but I"m a little toasted at the moment.

What the hell, here goes:

There once was a man called prarie doggin
By the way he walked you'd know he was loggin

This may sound absurd:
Poor man can't make turd,
But the harder you push,
you'll damage your tush
And blow out your ring
That poor tortured thing,
and leave your ass in the mush.

Woe to our splatter-bunned pal,
Who probably pees like a gal
We love you, man, just the same
OK, I'm ready for my first "LAME"!!

(stick that in your bum and smoke it!)

_______
Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Certainly not lame-worthy, Shitwit, very nicely done!

I've been seated and let out a mighty fart,
Now I can't wait for the main event to start.
If the turd can match the great prelude, I'll be a relieved and smiling dude.
As I sit here now in a smelly fog, I can't wait to look down and see a huge brown log.
My day will be off to a wonderful start, and I'll remember how it started with that big ol' fart.

This is why I write. It inspires such great works of verse in response. It brings a tear to my eye. (the one in my head sicko). Look for more to come.

Hey, this pooetry is really fun. Here's another one:

Here I sit, cheeks spread just right,
Waiting to start my morning delight.
At first there’s just a thunderous fart,
I must wait a while for the big show to start.
As I sit trapped in my smelly fog,
My thoughts are on birthing a big brown log.
How I would love to look down and judge,
The amazing size of my load of fudge.
After a minute or two something takes hold,
As I feel some big turds sliding out my hole.
I sit and reflect on how pleasant it’s been,
Before I begin to wipe my bottom end.
I shake the pee from my dick one final time,
And hope the rest of the day could be this fine.

Just another lousy day,
Toilet full of fecal spray,
Pinch or wipe, I cannot say,
My hand a mess either way,
A change in diet, I hope and pray,
Will keep the 'rhea somewhat at bay,
Until then, I sit and linger,
And wipe the frosting off my finger.

Pondering the shampoo bottle
Sodium laureth sulfate and hydrolized wheat protien
Tocopheryl acetate and boitin
Lather rinse repeat
Wish the newspaper was delivered on time.

You know I'm not exactly objective when it comes to you, but that is some beautiful shit, Bilge. Repeat, beautiful.

Thank you...I sweat for seconds trying to get it just right.

Here's a fantasy pooem for all of us who wish our spouses were Shameless Shitters:

There I stood shaving my face,
When my wife strolled in at her usual pace.
She said “I hope you don’t mind a little smell,
Those beans last night haven’t settled so well.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said with no concern,
“As soon as you finish, it’ll be my turn.”
Immediately I heard a fart like a boom,
Then the smell started to fill the room.
I said “that wasn’t a ‘little smell’ Sweetheart.”
She said “I’m sorry but that was only a fart,
And I’m afraid it was just a small start.”
Sure enough, as I heard a turd splash,
I really wanted to make a mad dash.
She soon wiped and flushed and said “your turn Dear”,
But when I finished she said “we may have to re-paint in here.”
Later we laughed a lot and I now wonder whether,
That dinner of beans brought us closer together.

Turdfan, that is about the most touching thing I have ever read here, seriously.

Superb poem. You need to send a copy to
Dr. Phil.

Great one, turdfan! That describes mr shitwit and me perfectly! I'll nuke the bathroom and then it's his turn to "erase" my stink!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Erase, or overwhelm?

Shitwit, I really envy you and the Mr.

All I have to say is that, if anybody has a problem pooping, please read the strategy section of this site, I havent pinched one since, unless i'm in a hurry of course.

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PPPP OOOO OOOO PPPP
P P O O O O P P
PPPP O O O O PPPP
P O O O O P
P OOOO OOOO P

Turdfan....Your poem was a wonderful display of marital sensitivity. It brought tears to my eyes.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I once dropped a turd in Nantucket.
It dropped straight into the bucket.
With out splash, smell, or fart,
'Twas a pure work of art.
And I smiled as I shat in Nantucket.

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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....