Suddenly I feel an extreme urge to pee... BRB

Yep. Time for me to take a trip to Tinkle Town.

Coffee - The Sip-Ship trip to Tinkle Town!

Very nice spudnut. Is it supposed to make me have to pee? cuz i dont have to.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Awww how nice! It really does feel good to take a healthy dump. And the relief of a pee... especially the first morning pee. And why, I'm wondering,(atleast I do)lay there, bladder full, drift in and out of sleep knowing full well that if I just get and pee I will go right back to sleep? But nooooo, I just lay there. My hubz says he does it too.

pnutty, i was able to lay there before 6 yrs ago but not anymore.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

This doesn't make me have to pee because I peed just before I visited this site.

I would say this poem offers a good #1 and #2 punch.

A Sonnet

While there is pleasure in a nice, long piss,
It really cannot justly be compared
To pooping, when I sit with bottom bared
To drop a load. That pleasure, if I miss,

I feel bereft all day. I'd rather kiss
The hard and stony driveway, than have fared
So bad as not to poop. Let me be spared
The fate of missing that soft easy hiss

As my turd leaves me, plops into the pool,
And then is joined by others, one by one.
I sit in quiet, feel serene and cool.
I stand up, turn, and look at what I've done.
Of daily duties, pooping is the best;
As pleasure, it by far outranks the rest.

MSG, your sonnett is beautiful; it brought me to tears. The ode to the load is actually spudnutty's short bio.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I was lost in the bayou for 4 days last year on my own survivorman quest. During this trip I had ran out of food and started eating things I never thought I'd have to. Well, got bad case of the trots and the o-ring swole up bad, leaving me unable to wipe because of the tenderness. When I finally emerged from the depths of the inhospitable bayou and the swelling went down, I had an amazing case of ass grapes. I had to extricate with hair trimmers and scissors, oh what a relief.

Today I start a five day apple juice fast as a pre-rinse and malic acid build up for a liver/gall bladder flush on Thursday.

Gonna be lots of pee and hopefully, as a grand finally, I'll harvest a quarry of Gallstones...yep, the old olive oil, grapefruit, mag-sulphate flush is about to be tested once again. Stand by for news....
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Don't move the truck I'm still on the bucket!

I feel inspired cornleg....I cannot be outdone so today I shall start on a 5 day bing.....er.........bourbon fast.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I like the feel of a good poop much more than the feel of a long piss. Both feel good, of course, but a good, solid evacuation does wonders. That feeling of relief as the log slides out is oh so grand. That empty, satisfied feeling when finished is unmatched. I never feel healthier (and skinnyier than after a good poop. Ah, makes me wish I had to poo right now.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Nicely done, taking a pee is often very relieving mostly when you've held it in for a long time.
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Russell the shitting queen

Your ass truly is saying thank you, thank you very much after a good loaf removal.

My ass likes to spread the joy by perfuming the air for the next toilet occupant.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

BRB

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Where'd you go, Branny? To micturate?
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Russell, I usually qualify a piss as very relieving if the volume is enough to actually flush the toilet.

OK, I'm back. Micturating complete.
Where was I?

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Bran, that must have been one hell of a poop. You were gone for 3 days!!

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

I feel so much better now, thanks!

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Bran that had to be longest micturition in history. You were admiring Chief's poofume when you left saying you would BRB.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

It just happened again. At 3:30a, I woke up so I took my miralax and went back to sleep. Just now I woke up having to pee badly. In my dream I kept going to pee.(didnt pee the bed) Everytime, the toilet was in a bedroom and not a bathroom. I even pood that spit poo in my dream(not in the bed) but I didn't wipe good. The last time in the dream, a couple was in the bed and the man, though asleep, was facing me. That's why I didn't wipe good. I just wanted to get out of there. Also in my dream the neighbor who is ugly to me was beating me up. I kept screaming for my mama and it wouldn't come out loud so they kept laughing at me. In the end she got some good swipes at me but I got her back and she finally stopped attaching me. You should have seen how brave I was Big bro, I kept telling her come on, I dare you, even though in knew the big ugly women could kill me. Oh, I was terrible in the dream. I wouldn't dare to be that brazen in real life. I would cry for my mama but the first punch would knock me on the ground crying with no strength. The only woman I ever fought with was my deceased sister and that's the way it is staying.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

FYI, I never won our physical fights. I would hurt her with my words. I always won in the word fights and she always won the body fights.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

The first time my sister won, I was 3 and she was 1. She sat on me with her little fat self. I couldn't breathe or move. I screamed and cried for my mama to save me. Mama just laughed and said I deserved it for tormenting my sister. I miss her so much that I could cry.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Perfume passout.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

As I sit upon this sacred coop
My ass doth groan and let outeth poop
My face doth grimace and teeth do clench
The bathroom air now filled with stench

I fear Ive blocked another drain
Another poop, squeezed out in pain
I wait silently for the cool night rain
To wash my stink and untimely vain

For in this midst of modern man
All has forgotton the simple can
To drop thyne breeches and open the spout
For that long dark turd shouting to be out !!

Who are you kidding , Bran muffn. I know you were smelling the chief's butt because you liked it. I know he portrays a thunder of a butt. However I think he is probably more like a butt whisperer. The kind that kills. So beware, Brannie when you go sniffing up Cheif's butt.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

True that, Sittin Purdy! Mental note added. The smell was too intoxicating for me...
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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.