That made me cry.

i really don't get poetry. but that was lovely.
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i love poop.

Ok, I'm ready for a smoke now...
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Happy Crappin'
Homegrown Media Network

SHIT! Thanks Dave for posting my poetry… here I'm shamelessly adding an entire story in case folks have nothin' better to do after the poem than read it - my apologies for the length, and that its not worthy of a "regular post" - but I just had to "squeeze it out", if you catch my (poopie) drift! -SDP

MESSAGE FROM A MODERATOR:
sorry, SDP, but that story was waaaaay too long to post here. FYI (to EVERYONE) the comments sections on front page stories are not the place for posting other stories. either submit them to dave for publication, or join the forums and post them there. you can find SDP's story here.

Oh world of poetry,
masquerading as art.
You’ll never surpass the profundity
or fecundity of a single,
crisp
ppppppffart.

The Moderator reminded us that "the comments sections on front page stories are not the place for posting other stories."

Yeah, people, come on! The comments sections are for insulting authors and other commenters (esp. Bilge), for taking the discussion far afield (derailing), and engaging in inane banter -- basically, for verbal pooping. If you have something of importance or substance, submit it to The New Yorker, for god's sake.

Right on, baby!!! Star Jones!!

got any cats? Fat people suxxorz!!

Oh damn...did I...yeah....I did...fucking TEDDY!!!!!

Now THAT is pooetry! At its FINEST!
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

that's right, Logjam. derailing is one thing, but a three-page story is taking it just a bit too far, my friend!

on a side note, i'm not sure why SDP didn't think the story was worthy of submitting to dave for the front page. i haven't read the whole thing yet, but it's certainly a lot longer than any story i've edited for the site so far. and long is good, right?
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i love poop.

We here at PoopReport have always had an unsaid understanding that Quantity=Quality.

expeshulee teddy.

Long stories are good. Short stories are good. Any story is good. Shit, anymore I really don't read the stories until later (if at all) -- just skip right down to the comments and have some fun. Stories, if you take them seriously, constrain your thinking. They really are just a way to prime the pump. And with folks like Bilge, PD, and pance around, little priming is required. So -- to keep the analogies flowing -- posting a long story in the comments is like flooding the engine. Teddy getting involved is like crossing the spark-plug wires....

Nice one SDP - Percy Bysshe would be proud.

Bilge, you and Teddy seem to be getting quite, ahem, involved. Does he play the banjo really well?

Should you beware of tree stumps?

your all freaks. this is fucking shit you are talking about. you act like its a gift from god. its you chewed up food that is coming out of your body. what the hell is wrong with you. I feel sorry for anyone that ever has to meet you.

Thanks for stopping in, I am humbled that someone of your incredible magnitude would offer up her opinion of us and our little poop HUMOR website. Trust me, we will take heed of your insightful utterance, and avoid you and anyone you may meet.

Danielle wrote; "this is fucking shit you are talking about. you act like its a gift from god. its you chewed up food that is coming out of your body."

Really, how dare you? Suppose you believed that Jesus was the savior and we said to you "you act like he was a gift from god. He was just a little twit that came out of Mary's cunt." Not very nice, huh? So try putting on your sensitive suit next time you come into our church, sweetie. We have feelings, too, you know.

Now I'm not normally one for poetry, is this supposed to be about crapping in the same toilet or a dutch-oven?

i wonder how many squares of t.p. she wasted writing the ruff draft

Poor Danielle, not to realize that a good bowel movement is, indeed, a gift from God. When next she has diarrhea, or is severely constipated, or has painful or bloody stools, she may well ask for divine help to return to normalcy. True, today's feast yields tomorrow's feces; that's life; but life is a gift--we surely didn't make ourselves and give us life.

SDP here, that is, "it is I", er, its me... Oh Danielle, Danielle, what's wrong with thee, Danielle? Constipation of the cerebellum? Suffering from coprophagy? I suggest you read my missive titled "The dinner that went... to poop!" to see how a real lady of my acquaintance, dear Denise, responds to fecal matter. You could learn a thing or two from her. You should aspire to something higher, you see. No, its not simply just shi-toodle. It is much, much more. Worlds are turned on less than a handful of dung! So start squatting and squeezing, and smiling - your life may change. Take a deep inhalation as the stench of your latest ass blast fills the surrounding air, and savor the moment. Then and only then can you appreciate the wisdom of MSG's "today's feast yields tomorrow's feces"! Am I not right, fellow poopers??? Bless Ye! -SDP